Without Me

Outside, the sky was already dark blue, and the stars and the moon were hidden behind a thick blanket of clouds that effectively blocked their calming light.

Everything predicted the arrival of rain.

During the gusty wind outside the window that tilted the tree crowns, in the ICU, Yao Xi opened her emerald eyes. Her mind was still wandering somewhere on the edge of consciousness and only after a few seconds she returned to her senses.

She felt extremely tired and numbed. Yao Xi's head throbbed painfully, as if she had been hit by a hammer, although she did not recall striking. Her muscles were so sore, that there was not a grain of strength left in them, as if she had slept for several months.

If it were not for the pain in her body that was much smaller, she would think she was reborn again.

She blinked, trying to control the mixture of consternation and dullness in her head. Slowly, a scrap of memories began to reach her, though the dull pain made her concentration difficult.

Blood. A lot of blood.

She remembered the flow of blood pouring from the lower abdomen and only then she remembered everything.

Ruo Yan's birthday party. Quarrel. Hit...

"F * ck" cursed Yao Xi under her breath as the memories took on a clearer shape in her mind.

She wanted to leave the party as soon as she felt the first signs of breaking seams from her wound. Who knew that idiot would not let her go so easily?

She did not want to risk her own life for this worthless, false woman. But before she could slip away, it was too late - her wound had opened and all she could do was take advantage of this situation in her favor.

Although she had to admit that the Ruo Yan strike was not light at all. Yao Xi had to touch the bottom line of Ruo Yan when she mentioned that she would always remain the second wife.

"He he he", Yao Xi laughed weakly when she remembered Ruo Yan, and how all the colors of the rainbow appeared on her face.

The sudden movement of her head, when she laughed, caused a sharp, penetrating pain in Yao Xi's skull, but even that couldn't stop her from enjoying the sight of the furious Ruo Yan.

Ah, it was a priceless sight. And that was just the beginning ...

A sudden dry mouth made her try to get up in search of some drinking water, but as soon as she moved, she was stopped by a worried voice: "My dear, you woke up at last."

She turned her head in that direction, and her heart could not withstand the surge of emotion at the sight of her grandfather standing at the entrance to the hall.

The tears that she had been holding back all her life suddenly found an outlet, falling on Yao Xi's cheeks, unblocked, as if a dam barrier had suddenly been raised, and now nothing was supporting the flow of the rushing river. She could not stop them. Emotions, which she so urgently closed in herself, took control of her strong will.

The death of grandfather Li in her previous life was the biggest blow to Yao Xi. She did not even manage to survive the period of mourning, because a few minutes after she learned about it, she also was dead. And after rebirth, she tried not to think too much, not to scratch the wounds that she was not yet ready to break.

She probably did not allow herself to think about her grandfather in the subconscious, hoping that Ruo Yan had lied to her about his death. But now?

She did not know from why, but some feeling told her that Ruo Yan had not lied about this time, and that grandpa had actually died from her hand.

The sight of grandfather Li now with her own eyes, all healthy and undoubtedly alive, released all the pain that she so urgently separated from herself. Everything hidden so far behind a solid wall of indifference and coldness, fell in a moment, leaving behind only a small rubble and revealing all the pain, loneliness and despair hidden in the heart of Yao Xi.

She felt n.a.k.e.d and exposed, but for the first time in her entire life, she was not ashamed to show her weakness. She was not afraid of tears.

And for the first time in her whole life, she did not feel lonely.

"Stupid girl, why are you crying?" Asked the grandfather, sitting next to Yao Xi on the bed and cuddling a small body to himself, which was trembling with despair. "Does it hurt you somewhere?"

Grandfather's concern for her only caused an even louder sob when, in spite of the tormenting pain, she cuddled into his solid and safe b.r.e.a.s.t. She was afraid that if she only loosened her grip, he would disappear forever.

"I'll call in the doctor," he said with concern, trying to put Yao Xi back on the bed, but the girl clung to him like a monkey, shaking her head in panic.

Her loud crying broke the heart of the old man. Senior Li was worried that Yao Xi's wounds would open again, but seeing what condition the girl was in, he had no heart to refuse her.

It was the first time he saw her tears, so he did not know how to behave. He could only comfort her with calming words, gently stroking her small, quivering back.