The Hated Male Concubine

#147

“Alright. I’ll let you do what you want. So don’t worry and take care of yourself first. They’ll wait in another place until you get better.”

Hwawoon weakly closed his forced-open eyes and moved his mouth.

“Thank you… for your grace, Your Majesty…”

Feeling heartbroken by the barely audible voice, Yihan realized a new fact. In this world, only this frail man could tear his heart to shreds like this. Yihan was convinced of this powerful future as if he had received a heavenly prophecy. Only this man, Yeon Hwawoon, could give him the pain that no one else could. And so, as the night went on, Yihan realized bitterly that the Emperor of this nation, Sung Yihan, would lose again and again, forever and ever, to the little man in front of him.

***

Seocheon sat alone in a small room, lost in thought. He was being framed. As a lowly man, he was at a disadvantage in this situation, and if things went wrong, he could be killed immediately for attempting to murder the Emperor’s concubine. For now, he had escaped immediate danger thanks to Yeonbin stating that he had accidentally fallen into the pond, but there was no telling how Yeonbin would handle this, or whether the Emperor would take Yeonbin’s word for it and let the case go, so Seocheon’s life was still in danger.

But that wasn’t what was occupying his mind right now. In the room where no one was allowed to enter or leave until Yeonbin called him, Seocheon was thinking only of Yeonbin, Yeon Hwawoon. More precisely, the moment when he saved him from drowning.

“Seocheon…!”

The moment Seocheon managed to pull him out of the water, Yeonbin clearly called his name when he saw his face. It was so natural like he was calling out a name he’d known for so long. It was no wonder that Seocheon was surprised by it, which was why he hesitated and didn’t pull Yeonbin out of the water until So Jeong spotted him.

It wasn’t simply because Yeonbin called his name. Of course, it was quite surprising that he had called Seocheon by name. It was hard to find a concubine who could remember the names of every single guard in the palace as they didn’t stay in the palace and assist them all the time. It was even hard to believe that a concubine remembered the name of a guard who wasn’t just a guard, but a commoner guard. 

But it was Yeonbin’s voice that confused Seocheon more than anything else. For a moment, the voice calling him sounded so familiar.

The same voice he had heard so many times, talked to so many times, and never stopped thinking about and missing every night even after he had lost that person. He felt like he could do anything to hear it again. Yeonbin’s voice sounded so similar to Hawoon’s.

“Seocheon!”

He closed his eyes and recalled the face of his friend smiling widely at him and calling his name. He could never forget it. He could never mistake it. It was a voice that could never be confused with that of the wicked concubine who had driven Hawoon to his death.

“…”

Seocheon’s hands clenched the hem of his damp robe. Yeon Hwawoon had suddenly become a different person after Hawoon’s death. A person who treated everyone with the same kindness, gentleness, and benignness that Hawoon had, and had now won back the hearts of not only the emperor but also the empress and the concubines. He personally handed his handkerchief to a wounded court lady and cared for every lowly guard of the Jeongan Palace as if they were his people.

The image of Yeon Hwawoon, the one who had confused Seocheon so much after Hawoon’s death, flashed in and out of his closed eyes.

What on earth is going on? What on earth happened to you?

Even if he wanted to ask, there was no one who could answer him, so Seocheon could only replay the moment when Yeonbin called his name over and over again.

***

Who could have imagined that the curse-like words of a dying court lady would become so ingrained in a person’s mind? Who could have guessed it? Could the one who said it has anticipated such a result?

“You will be nothing to His Majesty.”

Standing at the edge of the pond, Yeon Hwawoon recited the words out of habit. When he first heard it, he had dismissed it as the last struggle of a lowly person driven by evil. He simply thought it was the barking of someone who would soon die.

If he had known those words would have lingered so deeply in his mind, as if it were a curse, making him dizzy day and night, he wouldn’t have let her die so easily.

“You will die without leaving your name…!”

He could never forget every word she had chanted. If he closed his eyes, he could hear it as clearly as if someone were actually shouting at him. But that didn’t mean Yeon Hwawoon was afraid of that voice. Even if the soul of the dead court lady had actually become an evil spirit and hovered around him, he wouldn’t have batted an eye. What Yeon Hwawoon was afraid of wasn’t such a ghost.

It had been so long since the emperor had visited the Jeongan Palace that it had become pointless to even count. Previously, the emperor would have come at least once in a while for the sake of Yeon Hwawoon’s father, but as if he had chosen not to do it any longer, the emperor never sent back an answer, let alone set foot in Jeongan Palace no matter how many times he sent someone to Anjeong Hall to tell him that he was dying or sick.

Yeon Hwawoon looked at his reflection in the crystal-clear water of the pond. The gorgeous beauty to rival any woman, yet somehow he looked fierce and shabby. His beauty and family were the only things Yeon Hwawoon could rely on, but the Emperor treated his beauty like a stone, and his father didn’t care about him, so everything in Yeon Hwawoon’s hands had no meaning.

He wondered what would happen if time continued to go on like this. The power that seemed to dominate the world for a thousand years had never lasted forever in history, and even though the Yeon family, whose name could overcome anything at this moment, would not last forever as well. Therefore, if his family were to fall, he would be trapped in this gorgeous cold palace forever.

But now, he no longer cared about all of that. Being hated and despised by the emperor was nothing. What Yeon Hwawoon really couldn’t bear was to become nobody to the emperor. To be forgotten. Being remembered no more than as a nameless wicked concubine; Yeon Hwawoon realized it would be the most terrible punishment for him as he heard the curse of the bleeding court lady.

I shouldn’t let that happen…

Yeon Hwawoon thought to himself, it shouldn’t happen. He couldn’t die as a nobody like that. If he couldn’t win the Emperor’s love, if he was really unable to become his only love, then he wanted to have a space in the Emperor’s memory. To be his guilt, to be his remorse, to be someone he couldn’t erase from his memory and heart. It didn’t matter even if it wasn’t in the form of love.

The Emperor was a kind person. No matter how many times Yeon Hwawoon deceived him, until the last moment Yeon Hwawoon said he was sick, the Emperor would rush to Jeongan Palace to see if he was really suffering from illness this time.

So if someone fell into despair and died because of his indifference, if that someone couldn’t bear the pain of life and choose to die themselves.

That someone would likely remain in the Emperor’s heart as a pang of deep guilt until the day the Emperor died. Yeon Hwawoon thought his name would likely haunt the Emperor’s night for the rest of his life so that he would never forget him.

That day, Yeon Hwawoon was strolling by the pond. No one could have guessed what was on his mind.

***

Yihan had sent everyone away and was taking care of Hwawoon himself. Over the past few days, Hwawoon repeatedly went high on fever and then turned ice-cold, making him uneasy. The doctor said he’d be fine now that the critical situation was over. But Yihan, who had been watching Hwawoon unable to regain his consciousness as if wandering at the door of death, calling only him, “Your Majesty, Your Majesty,” could not bear to leave his side as he worried Hwawoon could lose his breath at any moment.

The last few days of treating Yeonbin must have been hellish for the doctor, too. The emperor may not have intimidated him, but the doctor wasn’t blind enough to not see that the Emperor was holding back his anger with great patience. When the doctor finally managed to bring down Hwawoon’s fever, he felt like he had met all the heavenly and earthly gods he had never looked for in his life.

In the meantime, the emperor was practically staying at Seojeong Palace. He slept, ate, worked, and did all of his business in Seojeong Palace, except when he needed to hold meetings with his ministers. He had even prepared a space in Hwawoon’s bedroom for easy access to his affairs, something that had never happened under Sung Yihan’s reign.