The Emperor Has An Illness

Translated by: Jellylynn

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Edited by: Lynn 

This novel is to be only hosted on Foxaholic; copies found elsewhere are stolen or worse, plagiarised. 
Names mentioned in this chapter (which can also be found in the glossary):

-廖青青(Liào qīngqīng)- Liao Qing Qing, the female lead. 

-廖容华(Liào róng Huà)- Lady Liao of Lovely Countenance, the female lead’s current designation.

-景礼帝(jǐng lǐ ​​dì)- Emperor Jing Li, the male lead.

-荷香(Hé ​​xiāng)- He Xiang, the female lead’s maidservant

-福生(fú shēng)- Fu Sheng, the emperor’s chief eunuch.

-梨声阁(lí shēng gé)-Lisheng Pavillion, the place where the female lead resides.

–梁贵妃(liáng guìfēi)- Noble Consort Liang

Current ranking: Noble Consort Liang → Virtuous Consort → Lady Liao of Lovely Countenance 

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Liao Qing Qing really wanted to reply, I don’t need ‘you’ to think. I only need myself to think’. But she didn’t dare.

Being close to the sovereign can be as perilous as sleeping with a tiger![1]

Anyway, they were purely sleeping.

Then, she will obey!

She said, “Your Majesty, you’re right. This imperial concubine[2] is sleepy.”

Emperor Jing Li nodded in satisfaction. He lay down on the bed first.

Liao Qing Qing inwardly gritted her teeth. She could only slowly climb into bed and slept next to Emperor Jing Li. The faint fragrance entered the tip of his nose. Emperor Jing Li’s head instantly relaxed. Mm. Very much to my[3] liking. Emperor Jing Li closed his eyes comfortably.

But Liao Qing Qing wasn’t comfortable!

At this time, the boss-like sun was roasting the earth. Even though Lisheng Pavilion had ice releasing cool air, Emperor Jing Li’s body was warm.

Emperor Jing Li was pretty much squeezing her into a corner. The breeze and coolness were unable to get through.

She was so hot that she really wanted to kick Emperor Jing Li off the bed. But that would be too difficult.

First, she could not kick such a tall and sturdy man. Secondly, her life will not be safe if she really kicked him. Later on, she could not stand the heat. She noticed that Emperor Jing Li was deeply asleep. She stealthily sat up, crossed over Emperor Jing Li, and put on her shoes. She didn’t dare to call He Xiang for fear of disturbing Emperor Jing Li. She quietly left the bedroom and called for He Xiang to retrieve a round fan painted with mountains and streams. She fanned herself while entering the bedroom.

As soon as she reached the bedroom, she saw one of Emperor Jing Li sitting on the bed, his hands pressed against his forehead, with a livid expression on his face.

“Where did you go?” Emperor Jing Li asked in displeasure.

Liao Qing Qing answered truthfully, “This imperial concubine went out for a while.”

“Who allowed you to go outside?”

“???” You must be mental. You even nag about this.

“Come over and sleep.”

“…” Crazy person!

Emperor Jing Li lay down again.

Once again, Liao Qing Qing lay down. She held the fan and slowly fanned herself. The fanning created a huffing and puffing sound.

The difficult-to-serve Emperor Jing Li had a problem with that. He turned his head to look at Liao Qing Qing. “Your fan—”

“I’m feeling hot,” Liao Qing Qing said.

Liao Qing Qing was extremely beautiful. However, she was the same as the original owner. She did not have high aspirations and did not want to compete with other women for the Emperor. She would be happy if there was food, drinks, and books to read every day.

Therefore, Liao Qing Qing usually kept a low profile, and rarely spoke. Unlike other imperial concubines, she didn’t pay attention to the way she dressed. Her rank was low and she basically did not have much of a presence.

At this moment, she did not apply any powder. Her skin was fair. Because of the heat, her cheeks were rosy. A pair of sparkling eyes, as if aggrievedly saying ‘I’m feeling hot.’, softly and meekly, had a kind of perfect and natural feeling of this woman was beautiful and moving. An unfamiliar sentiment touched the edge of Emperor Jing Li’s heart.

Emperor Jing Li’s heart trembled slightly. How could he say any harsh words? He asked, “Why are you feeling warm?”

Liao Qing Qing, “???” This man is too unaware of himself. She is squeezed into the bed by him, who was hot from head to toe, wouldn’t she be feeling hot?

A hint of something that couldn’t be explained entered Emperor Jing Li’s heart, then he spoke, “Then you can continue fanning.”

“???”

What kind of man is this?

If this man is not born as an Emperor, he will be a bachelor for life!

No woman will like him!

Emperor Jing Li shut his eyes again.

Liao Qing Qing continued to fan. As she did so, she couldn’t withstand the drowsiness and fell asleep. When she woke up, Emperor Jing Li was also awake.

Emperor Jing Li sat up and started to put on his clothes.

Liao Qing Qing still had the self-consciousness as an imperial concubine. She got up from the bed, walked forward, and dressed Emperor Jing Li.

Emperor Jing Li had long been accustomed to being served by others. He immediately put his hands down. His fingertips inadvertently brushed the back of Liao Qing Qing’s hand. For a split second, his mind felt exceptionally refreshed.

He looked at Liao Qing Qing in surprise.

Liao Qing Qing buttoned it for him and said, “Your Majesty, it’s done.”

The moment she raised her eyes and met Emperor Jing Li’s eyes, which were as deep as a pool of water, her heart leapt. What is the meaning of this? He can’t be going crazy again by thinking that she did a bad job and wanted to punish her, right?

When she was still mulling over this, Emperor Jing Li suddenly uttered, “Mm.” Then, he turned around and left.

He left.

Left…

He just turned around and left?

What was the meaning of his indecipherable gaze at her just now?

Liao Qing Qing did not understand the temperamental Emperor Jing Li’s mind.

It’s too hard to guess!

She is simply not going to guess. Now, she was feeling very hot. She hurriedly let He Xiang serve the chilled watermelon and ate two slices in one go.

Finally, she felt refreshed. While she was resentful of Emperor Jing Li disturbing her afternoon nap in her heart, Emperor Jing Li’s reward arrived.

What celadon green woven bed curtain, ivory woven fan with dyed ivory-ink with paintings of birds and flowers,[4] Jun ware[5] porcelain incense burner, etc. It was a dazzling lineup causing the entire Lisheng Pavilion to be filled with a cheerful atmosphere. Liao Qing Qing didn’t care so much for these rewards.

It was said to be a reward, but in actuality, they were all recorded down. It could not be eaten, drank, and spent as money. It would be more practical and better to directly reward silver and food.

Liao Qing Qing asked someone to put these valuable items away. She continued to lie on her chaise lounge to read folk stories.[6]

This was the salted fish[7] life she wanted.

As she recalled the time when she just entered the palace, Emperor Jing Li had visited the harem many times. Generally, he would spend the night with a different woman in the imperial harem. Typically, he would usually sleep for one night with no repeat. Maybe because she was a transmigrator, so she had half a day more than the others.

After half a day, there should be no subsequent times. In this way, the women within the imperial harem would not care about her, and she could continue with her salted fish life.

Who knew that Emperor Jing Li would come again in the evening.

F*ck! A type of plant![8]

Liao Qing Qing was dumbfounded when she saw Emperor Jing Li approaching her. She really wanted to say, ‘Your Majesty, ancestor, what do you like about me? I will change all of it, okay?’ Nothing could compare to the sorrow that she was feeling inside.

Emperor Jing Li was oblivious and sat down at the table once again. He Xiang rushed forward to pour water. This time, Emperor Jing Li did not refuse.

He “slept” with Liao Qing Qing in the afternoon, so his head did not hurt now.

He was in a good mood. He took a sip of tea and asked casually, “What is Lady Liao of Lovely Countenance doing?”

“Reading a book,” Liao Qing Qing subconsciously replied.

“Oh, what kind of book?”

“The Young Wife of the Peasant.”

“???”

“Some of the region records of the Great Wei Dynasty.” Liao Qing Qing hastily remedied the situation.

Emperor Jing Li glanced sideways at the chaise lounge and clearly saw the novel’s title ‒ . The corners of his mouth instantly twitched and he looked at Liao Qing Qing again.

Liao Qing Qing’s heart tensed. She hurriedly went forward and said with a smile, “Your Majesty, this imperial concubine will pour tea for you.”

Emperor Jing Li’s face was filled with displeasure. He had read a thousand words when he was three. When he was five, he learned martial arts. He offered brilliant plans when he was seven. He ascended the throne when he was thirteen years old. All his thoughts were about national affairs, serious and prudent.

Noble Consort Liang, Virtuous Consort, and the rest he had seen were girls from a noble house, which fit the requirement of a woman in his heart.

Who would read this kind of folk story?

Just then, Liao Qing Qing came over. A scent that was like fresh summer enveloped him. He was physically and mentally pleased and wanted to grab onto this feeling tightly. He could not help but reach out and grabbed Liao Qing Qing’s hand.

Liao Qing Qing was stunned.

This feeling was too wonderful. Every strand of hair was relaxed. Emperor Jing Li needed this feeling very much. He looked straight at Liao Qing Qing and said, “From now on, you have to be this close to me. Do you understand?”

There was a surprised expression on Liao Qing Qing’s face.

Emperor Jing Li asked, “What’s wrong?”

Liao Qing Qing said with a blank expression, “Your Majesty, have you also read “The Young Wife of the Peasant”?”

Emperor Jing Li, “???”

The author has something to say: ——

Qing Qing: The lines in the book were all spoken by the Emperor!

[1] 伴君如伴虎(bànjūnrúbànhǔ)- Being close to the sovereign can be as perilous as sleeping with a tiger. It is an idiom that means accompanying an emperor is like accompanying a tiger and one can be faced with a disaster of death any time. It refers to the temperamental nature of a big shot and unexpected disasters.

[2] 嫔妾(pín qiè)- This imperial concubine. It is a self-appellation that can only be used by Lady of Talents (才人), Noble Lady (贵人), etc to the Emperor and Empress Dowager.

[3] 朕(zhèn)- I (imperial) or we (imperial use).

[4] Picture of a similar ivory woven fan. Credit: Google

[5] 钧(jūn)- Jun ware is a type of Chinese pottery, one of the Five Great Kilns of Song Dynasty ceramics. Credit: Wikipedia

[6] 话本子(​​huà běnzi)- It is a Chinese short- or medium-length story or novella written mostly in vernacular language. Sometimes, it includes simple classical language. In contrast to the full-length Chinese novel, it was generally not divided into chapters and recounted a limited number of characters or events. Credits: Wikipedia

[7] 咸鱼(xiányú)- Salted fish. There are several meanings. Firstly, it is a cantonese metaphor for “dead”. Secondly, it is a cantonese metaphor for “people who don’t want to move.” Thirdly, it is an internet slang for “people without dreams.” Fourthly, it is an online game term for “a player who does not or rarely spends energy and time participating in activities to improve oneself”. Lastly, it is a self-depreciating phrase on the internet “I’m a salted fish”.

[8] 草! 是一种植物(cǎo/cào shì yīzhǒng zhíwù)- The literal meaning ‘草’ is grass. It has the same pronunciation and it is a variant of ‘fuck’ (肏/操[cào]). It is usually used for people that wants to say ‘fuck’ but they don’t want to appear to be rude. Hence, they will describe that it is a type of plant.