Marriage In Trouble

I woke up feeling so heavy. My body feels so sore and it's aching badly. I tried to move my body but I cursed under my breath because I really feel shit right now.

Why did I end up feeling so shit? From what I remembered, I went out with Kaiser after what I just..... Shit. I immediately got out from bed when I realized what just happened.

But I stop on my tracks when I found myself in an unfamiliar room. The room is bigger than my room. And as far as I remember, my room doesn't have a glass window and doesn't even have an overlooking view of the city. I look around the place and I know that I am in a stranger's place, specifically a guy's place.

I cursed again and again.

I am wearing a loose black T-shirt and a boxer. Good thing, I am still wearing my racerback bra and panty. I know that nothing's happened to me just like you know what will happen if you found yourself in a man's place in the morning. Even though my body is aching, I know nothing happened between whoever it might be.

Thinking about what happened last night makes my head hurt so bad. So I give up and went to the comfort room which made me gape because the place is so big. There's a jacuzzi, a wider space for the shower room and whatever's inside a bathroom can have is here.

Whoever owns this place is such a lucky kid. This is way better than Calyx condo in New York. Way better than my condo in Manila. And way better than Zero's condo in London.

I paused when I finally saw myself in a mirror. My straight blonde long curly hair was now...turn into a pixie. I...have now a jet black pixie hair. A big cut in my lips and swollen face doesn't even look good with my new hairstyle.

I must be in a big mess last night. Maybe fighting again with some gangster in the downtown, beyond my capacity or maybe outside my control because I just let them touch my face.

I have read in some novel that they say that physical pain replaces the emotional pain. But then again, it's all bullshit. The pain I am feeling right now in my body can't compare the kind of pain I feel in my c.h.e.s.t. The pain in my heart is unending, and it's a chilly kind of feelings that made my mind go weak as well. It feels like, the pain can paralyze my whole being. On the other hand, it can also make me feel in rage. The kind of feeling that you also want to hurt someone physically just to let go all of it. It feels demonic and scary.

Maybe, this is what happened last night. I wasn't able to control the demon inside me that made me go berserk. In one snap, the demon takes advantage of my weakest state and devours me. I wish I never did something beyond crazy last night or else, I'm dead.

After I clean myself, I went directly to the kitchen to get some water.

I was about to open the refrigerator when someone coughs behind me. I stood frozen and feeling so lost. Not sure of what I'm going to do next. To face him or just ignore him.

Of course, I know the voice.

"How are you feeling?" the man behind me asked. His voice was rough like he just woke up or what. I don't know. His voice is always rough for me. But that is one of the reasons why I love him.

F.u.c.k!

What is he doing here? And does he own this luxury place?

I closed my eyes and count 1 to 3 mentally. Then I heaved a deep sighed and open my eyes again. I decided to ignore him and open the refrigerator. I get one bottled water and immediately drank all of it. Once I'm done, I face him.

I can see how his jaw tighten when he finally able to see my whole face. He looks mad while he makes a step closer to me. And his sudden movement makes me confuse and lost again. I make a step backward that leads me to a dead end. Shit. I know making a step backward is not always a good option! Damn it!

He slowly touches the bruises in my face. Yes. BRUISES! I feel like I was getting beaten up by Mayweather. I can feel how his rough hand slowly making traces to my lips and that made me breathless. Damn it! Calyx, what the f.u.c.k are you doing?

Don't make me feel like we are one in a very cliche story where you are now showing feelings for me because I know you don't. I can feel it! I can sense it!

"S-stop." I stutter when I stop his hand touching my lips. I gulped and tried to fight the urge to kiss him. But my eyes are now glued to his pinkish lips. It feels like I was drawn to it and it's inviting me. Memories from the good old days flash in my head like a lightning bolt.

'I remember the first time I stole a kiss from him. I was just 16 at that time. We were having a vacation with my family here in Perth, Australia. It was not the first time that I saw him.

I actually met him when I was 11. Too young for me to fall for him that fast. That's why I act so differently when he's around me. I act bubbly and carefree. I annoyed him a lot by saying those cheesy things to him but I always find his annoyed face more attractive than his usual face.

I remember how shocked he was when I surprised him. Not really sure what I did because what I only clearly remember is how his lips met mine. It was just a quick kiss. A peck in his lips. And I felt so heaven that time.

But of course, he got mad.'

I wonder if he will get mad if I kiss him right now.

*Tsup*

I immediately run afterward when I give him a peck on his lips. It was freaking crazy because he got shocked again for the second time. Like he was not expecting I'll be able to do it again.

A big smile plaster in my face while I run to the living room but it fades right away when I found who's sitting on the sofa.

The man wearing a three-piece suit stood up when he saw me. His dark eyes are darker than the usual. No emotions can be read on his face. His presence speaks of authority and power. He blankly looks at me that makes my heart beats furiously.

I never have seen him for years and I never thought I could see him here, right now.

"Severa." He utters my name like it's his first time. I bit my lip and make a step backward. But then again, it's not a good choice because Calyx is now behind me. He's holding both of my arms to stop me from going anywhere.

"You never told me you have a brother." Calyx started. He moves and he is now next to me. His hand is now hanging in my shoulder.

I feel my body stiffened because I can really feel his body next to me. But I can't even show some reaction to it. Argh.

I compose myself and face the man in front of me.

"You never asked," I said sarcastically. The man in front of me raised his brow. "You were not interested in my life back then. But I guess, you are interested now." I added with my sarcastic voice. Actually, what I just said is not for Calyx. It's for this man in a three-piece suit.

"What are you doing here?" he never answered but he just gives me that what-do-you-think-i-am-doing-here look. I frowned.

I guess I know now who's place is this. Calyx can afford this kind of luxurious place but he's not the type of man who spends his money on such things. I know what kind of man who spends his money on this kind of unnecessary luxurious kind of things. It's not necessary because he already owns a lot it.

Why would he need more?

"Your brother just want to know how you've been doing and he's looking for but I can't find you last night. Then I just found out that he found you get beaten up." he said feeling annoyed again. I removed Calyx hand in my shoulder.

"Why do you both care?" I asked both of them. They both stared at me.

"You..." I pointed out at Calyx. "You're just my husband." 'while f.u.c.k.i.n.g another woman.' I wanted to voice that out but I keep my mouth shut and face the other man in this room.

"And you.." I breathed heavily to let myself speak what I want to voice out years ago. The pain and the feeling of abandonment. "You're just one of my brother who just left me all alone." A small tear escape from my eyes that I immediately wipe out in my face.

"Severa." my brother Sebastian called me out. Yes. He's my freaking brother.

"Don't kuya. I don't wanna see you again." I turn around and find myself way out of that place. I run as fast as I can until I reach the elevator who luckily stops on this floor.

When I enter the elevator, Calyx just showed up and immediately get in before the elevator closes. He grabs me by surprise and imprisoned me with his arms.

I don't know why my life has been so complicated. My brothers abandoned me when our parents died. They just left me in my Uncle Brian's care without any single word. Then I got married. I got married to someone I love. Which is a good thing for some people but it is not a good thing when Calyx doesn't love me at all. If he's showing you some hints about a man falling for a woman, well it's not yet enough for me to conclude that he already has feelings for me aside from getting annoyed.

Because as far as I can feel him right now, the beating of his heart is normal. While mine is beating so damn hard that might give me a heart attack. But now, I don't care. I really don't care. Because his hug is what I needed right now. Even just for today, I wanna seize this moment. I wanna enjoy being embraced by him.

And for the meantime, I need to pretend that everything is alright.

"Ouch!" I winced when Calyx is trying to mend my wounds. He insisted on cleaning my wounds again because he said I really look awful. "Hey. Can you just make it gentle? It freaking stings you know!" But he freaking didn't listen. Because he put too much pressure on putting a cotton with an alcohol in the cut on my lips. "Fck it Calyxander!" I cursed. It freaking sting so bad.

"Tss. Language." he shakes his head and finishes mending my wounds.

Actually, I am partly acting. It stings a lot but I can totally handle it. It just that I don't know how to act since he is so close to me. His face is just an inch away. I can smell the mixture of mint and strawberry from him. Smell so gay yet kinda masculine. I can clearly see how perfect his face. From his creased forehead, thick brows, almond eyes, pretty nose, a little bit of stubble and a cute pink lips. He's cute and handsome and hot and irresistible. I feel like kissing him...again.

"Don't think about it." he muttered and I pouted. He moved away from and stood up.

I watch him as he is fixing the things that were scattered in our mini table. His broad shoulders are making him so masculine. And it was so hard for me to act so sanely in front of him. I will always let my self-control get so lost. It feels like, my years of training of being strong and tough er is useless. I can't act so strong in front of him. I always wanna let him show what kind of weakness I have because of him.

I lean on the sofa and close my eyes.

But after we got married, I need to act so strong. I need to act tougher than before. Because if I didn't, I will totally lose myself. However, pretending is not as easy as I thought. It's not easy for me to pretend and it's not easy for me to act like something is right.

"Aren't you wondering why I never asked you right away when I see you about what happened to you?" My eyes automatically opened when Calyx throw those questions at me. He looks so serious. His normal serious face. But the way he throws me those questions sounds like he wants to really know about what happened.

"Aren't you wondering?"

"No." I answered him straightly while looking at his eyes.

His brow creased while staring at me. I can see how he is trying to weigh my answer.

In the end, I was the one who I avoided his gaze because I can't handle its intensity. It feels like he is trying to unveil every secret that I have if there is one.

"Is it okay if I could ask you some things?" He asked again that really shocked me not because he asked me but because of his voice.

The tone of his voice is softer, calm and composed.

I cleared my throat and shrugged my shoulder. Not sure what to respond to him. Not sure if I could really answer his questions to me. Because I never like answering those some things.

"What really happened to you?" He started which makes me look at him. He is still standing in front of me with his arms crossed.

"You don't have to know, Calyx." I said in a lazy tone.

He shakes his head. "I have the rights to know what happened to you, Severa." He sighed and close his eyes for a moment. I look at him with so much confusion. Why is he acting this way? Why is he acting like he really cares for me? "I have the rights because I am your husband and you are my wife." He continued but his voice almost sounds like a whisper.

"Yes, I am your wife Calyx but you don't have to know more about what happened to me. It's not about your rights as my husband to know everything what happened because it's about my rights to keep my distance away from you while I need to fight for this marriage."

He stared at me in disbelief or I don't know. I am not good as before. I can't even read what he really feels through his eyes. This marriage became my own destruction. I got lost, confused and I really don't know what it will cost me. If I fight for it, will he fight for me as well? If I give up on him, will he just let me give up on him? I don't freaking know.

I stood up. I show him how tired I am. Physically, emotionally and mentally tired.

"I really wanna fight for this marriage Calyx. I really do. But I can't continue fighting for this freaking marriage if you are not even willing to fight for me as well." He averted his gaze. It feels like I hit him in the guts. "But I'm not forcing you to fight for this marriage to work. You can do whatever you want, f.u.c.k the girl you want." I whisper the last sentence wishing it doesn't hurt knowing he f.u.c.ks other girl while he's with me. I continued talking while looking straightly at him. "I don't care, Calyx. I will never care but I'm gonna fight for this marriage. With or without you."