Heartbeat of Innocence

TW: violence

Shen Jiaying had already awoken, weakly leaning against the head of the bed, lowering his head to eat the nutritious meal fed by Yu Nuan.

He was getting old. Shen Dongyu had stood there for a while before he realized there was someone else by his side. He didn’t react too much, only the look of disgust in his eyes wasn’t as sharp as before.

Shen Dongyu didn’t care about those changes in attitude that were brought about by certain things. He put down the fruit basket and prepared to leave, but Yu Nuan called out to him.

“Xiao Liang1“Little Liang” visited.” Yu Nuan said to Shen Dongyu’s back, “He brought many gifts, so why don’t you go return it to him.”

Shen Dongyu stood in front of the door, not knowing whether to continue walking or to look back. His chest ached, as if those old scars had suddenly split open.

“He said he would wait for you at the gate of Chengyi Middle School.” Yu Nuan, behind him, noticed his shivering shoulders. She looked at the ceiling for a while, before finally hearing a sigh. She knew it was Shen Dongyu trying to compromise.

Liang Xiao was a name from a very long time ago, so ancient that Shen Dongyu almost couldn’t remember it. The memories in his mind were also fragmented, difficult to even piece together.

But other than him, everyone else remembered very clearly.

Hangzhou was often cloudy. Summer’s early morning brought with it a slight chill, while the orange gold sunset would pierce through the clouds, sprinkling onto the asphalt roads. He gently sat the supplements Yu Nuan was talking about down beside someone’s feet, then sat down on the seats at the bus stop.

This stop was the only route that led to Chengyi Middle School. The fog enveloped the road.

“Liang Xiao,” Shen Dongyu said, “You don’t need to be so polite.”

The person called Liang Xiao was way taller than Shen Dongyu, had a thin build, and was wearing a white shirt. Someone who doesn’t know him may think that he looked very youthful and sunny, with a smile hanging off his lips, seeming very happy that Shen Dongyu had come.

“I need to.” Liang Xiao’s tone and eyes were firm.

Liang Xiao watched Shen Dongyu’s eyes, wanting to find the slightest breakthrough point through them, though unfortunately without success. He could only try again with a different topic, “Are you used to studying in Shanghai yet? I’ll be leaving Hangzhou really soon.”

“En.” Shen Dongyu didn’t care where he was going, and lowered his head, looking absent minded.

Liang Xiao talked about his experiences in the past few years, and seeing that Shen Dongyu remained silent at the end, he also didn’t speak again.

The rising rays of sunlight shine upon them, casting a light hue of gold on them. On the road outside of the entrance of Cheng Yi Middle School, there were clear bird chirps mixed with car honks and youths’ laughter.

A group of teenage children clustered around the entrance. The head of the group, Liang Xiao, had a cigarette in the corner of his mouth and the corner of his eyes slanted up. His dark eyes were staring at anyone who got off the bus. Until a minute later, when Shen Dongyu got off with his backpack, he immediately threw away his cigarette, bringing his people to cluster around him and taking Shen Dongyu to a small alley.

“Shen Dongyu, is there something wrong with you? I’ve told you every time not to take ours when you collect that rotten test paper, but you still brought it to the teacher and snitched.” An unbuttoned school uniform, a cigarette behind the ear to copy adults, and a mouth that was full of even more smoke, looking very annoying. While he was talking, his hands were also inappropriately pushing Shen Dongyu.

“You would write if you had that ability. What are you even afraid of showing to the teacher?”

Shen Dongyu wasn’t scared of this kind of person at all, who sat in the last row in the classroom, and would loudly make fun of a female teacher during her class, and ditch class to fight. The parents don’t care and don’t ask, while the school turns a blind eye due to Liang Xiao’s family background.

Yet Shen Dongyu looked down on this type of person the most, who bullied the weak and feared the strong. Every time, he would check their homework first, and whenever the homeroom teacher taught a lesson, they would be punished to stand outside, finally giving some peace and quiet to the class.

This type of person had already thought of Shen Dongyu as an eyesore for most of the semester. Unable to find an actual reason to go against him, they had been holding back. Now that they had found a reason, they decided to teach him a lesson.

“You fucker!” As soon as the words came out, Shen Dongyu received a heavy slap on the face. The alleyway was quiet, so the sound of the hit flew out crisply. Shen Dongyu didn’t hesitate at all before returning a punch to the person.

Liang Xiao, who had kept quiet until now, didn’t expect Shen Dongyu to hit back. He moved a cluster of people out of the way, went up to him, and kicked him, making him fall. He kicked his stomach, and Shen Dongyu, unable to bear the pain, rolled on the ground, whimpering.

Seeing Liang Xiao make a move, the others also rushed in and violently pelted Shen Dongyu with kicks and punches.

The assault went on until the bell rang, and then Liang Xiao told them to stop. Before leaving, he squatted down and grabbed Shen Dongyu’s hair, seeing a face that was completely red and swollen, and even lips that were bloodied from the hits.

“Hurts, doesn’t it?” Liang Xiao smiled, using his other hand to cover Shen Dongyu’s mouth, not allowing him to groan in pain. “Don’t keep messing with us in the future, you can’t handle it.”

Shen Dongyu lay on the road filled with holes, his blurry gaze following the group of people leaving the alley. Suddenly coughing, the blood in his throat slowly oozed out from the corner of his mouth.

That day wasn’t sunny for too long before it suddenly became a storm. He lay there in the alley for two hours before moving, trembling as he stood up and picked up his backpack from a corner, then walking all the way home in the rain.

And that night, he came down with a high fever. When Yu Nuan saw him with injuries all over his body, she was angered to the point of shaking. She took a photo to the principal and teacher, angrily reprimanding them and threatening Liang Xiao’s parents, saying that if they don’t apologize, she’ll leak the story all over the internet. Yet once the principal’s office door was closed, all the noise she made was cut off, while an apology also accomplished nothing.

This bout of sickness allowed Shen Dongyu to rest for two weeks. When he returned to school, he stood at the door, stunned, as he looked beside his seat and saw Liang Xiao smiling at him with a face full of jest.

“You probably don’t know yet.” Liang Xiao approached Shen Dongyu and said to him meaningfully, “But Auntie Yu came to school and made a fuss, wanting us to pay compensation and give a public apology.”

Shen Dongyu’s expression didn’t change as he continued to take out his books and pens, putting them on the table. Yet Liang Xiao kept speaking leisurely, “Auntie Yu told us that we should sit together and foster friendship, since we’re all classmates, there’s no need to act like enemies.”

The teacher hadn’t arrived yet, the classroom was filled with lively chatter, and the surrounding classmates were all doing their own thing. The skies outside the window were blue, and the weather had no chance of bringing about a storm like that day, lifting many people’s moods. No one would ask him why he didn’t come to school for two weeks, and definitely no one would know the conditions on which Yu Nuan agreed in the principal’s office for the matter to not be pursued again.

Shen Dongyu finally stopped what he was doing. The pen in his hand was held very tightly, as if all his anger was vented out on this pen. He leaned close to Liang Xiao, calmly pronouncing every word, “Fuck, off.”

Liang Xiao turned his head in surprise, as if Shen Dongyu had scared him. Then he threateningly bared his bright white teeth, shaking his head in regret, “You really don’t learn, huh?”

The afternoon sunlight was still strong, but one still couldn’t help shivering when it shone on the body. Liang Xiao didn’t continue bothering him at the moment. Shen Dongyu had some peaceful time by himself while everyone prepared for Zhongkao2Highschool entrance examination. He was already quiet, and only became quieter after what had happened.

The summer in Hangzhou had been ceaselessly rainy, with countless stormy days.

The students arrived late to school one after another. Shen Dongyu was the only one who was early, sitting in the classroom to study as he prepared for the afternoon’s mock exam. If he did well this time, he could participate in a competition in the city, allowing him to leave early, right in the week before Zhongkao.

The summer was rainy and humid, and it felt so stuffy that he vowed to leave this place forever.

The seeds of those thoughts were planted in his heart, growing into vines with thorns to stab him, to make him unable to sleep, and to destroy his sanity.

The time for morning self study quickly arrived, with only a few students sitting scatteredly around the classroom. The morning sky was darkened by the clouds that were close to the ground.

Then the teacher answered a phone call in the corridor that asked the students in the classroom to go outside with umbrellas and pick up the other students.

Shen Dongyu lifted his eyes from the book, pondering for a moment but didn’t refuse. He expressionlessly placed the pen in his pocket, picked up his umbrella, and picked up the umbrella that was handed over and meant for his classmates in his other hand. He walked step by step out of the building, into the rain, while roars of thunder passed over the top of his umbrella. Shen Dongyu’s frail silhouette gradually vanished among the colorful umbrellas.

He knew that he couldn’t escape. If it wasn’t today then it would be tomorrow. Liang Xiao had found a very good excuse to lure him out of school obediently.

TL: Time for a flashback. It hurts seeing how different Dongyu is now compared to before

Also, I’m finally back in Shanghai for the first time since covid and with family dragging me everywhere, I’ll have to stick to using only my phone for a while longer. Just let me know if you guys spot any errors ^^

1“Little Liang”2Highschool entrance examination