Defeated By Love

Translated by Fairy_Dust

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He couldn’t remember what he said at that time.  

He only remembered that Shu Nian’s expression changed slightly because of that action. She turned dazed as if she was thinking of something else and didn’t really listen to him speak.  

From then on, they gradually grew closer to each other.  

In their last semester of junior year, Xu Zeyuan confessed to her again and was given a positive answer.  

At that time, Xu Zeyuan felt like he had gained the whole world.  

Shu Nian didn’t know anything, she didn’t know anything relating to feelings or relationships like a little kid. After they began dating, their interactions stayed the same.  

But he was very happy.  

During their time as a couple, their most intimate action was just holding hands. Shu Nian wasn’t very comfortable with him getting too close and with holding hands, she would break away very quickly and put distance between them.  

Xu Zeyuan had always cherished her so he patiently waited for her to adapt.  

Xu Zeyuan wanted to take things slowly.  

He was willing to wait for after graduation and getting married before doing many things together. He always thought that way. However, things didn’t happen as he had planned. 

Their relationship lasted less than half a year. 

During that time, false rumours were going around the school. Shu Nian endured the words of those people and became more and more withdrawn. Most of the time, she didn’t go anywhere except for class. 

Xu Zeyuan heard those words too much and he too found it difficult to accept. 

Then, Xu Zeyuan asked her out on a certain weekend. 

He always knew that Shu Nian was good-tempered, kind and patient. Xu Zeyuan understood that she didn’t like herself much but she would usually compromise to most of his requests. 

In many ways, she was actually doing well in the relationship. 

Xu Zeyuan was the one who broke up with her. 

Shu Nian showed a large reaction for the first time. He still remembered very clearly what she had said to him all those years later. It made his heart ache painfully when he thought of it. Even when he was dreaming and then waking up in the middle of the night, he would have an urge to cry. 

It was the matter he felt the most guilty of in his entire life. 

He would always remember what she looked like and what she said that day.  

Like a timeless nightmare.  

Shu Nian had her head lowered. Her face no longer had its usual brightness and life. It was pale and sickly looking now as she shed silent tears. She became extremely timid and weak. It took a while before she spoke in a soft voice. Her mood was dull and she sounded like she was questioning him: “I escaped from death to barely live again.” 

“——Why should I be treated like this?” 

Shu Nian pushed Xie Ruhe’s wheelchair. She asked him in a low voice: “What was that person doing here?” 

Xie Ruhe was in a really bad mood. He was silent but still answered her after a few seconds. “To have me write him a song.” 

“Is he popular?” 

“I don’t know.” 

“What about your attitude just then?” Shu Nian hesitantly said. “Will he——” 

“Do you think that what I did was wrong?” Xie Ruhe interrupted her. There was a dark haze hanging between his eyebrows. He spoke every word clearly. “Shu Nian, don’t speak for him.” 

“…” Shu Nian was was stunned and explained to him. “I’m not speaking for him.” 

Xie Ruhe turned his head around to glance at her without opening his mouth.  

“There was someone else with us at that time and his behaviour towards you wasn’t bad.” Shu Nian continued very seriously. “If they told others about how you reacted then they’ll say your behaviour was bad and then speak ill of you.” 

“…” 

Shu Nian put much thought into it. “I don’t think it’ll benefit you.” 

Xie Ruhe didn’t care and blankly replied: “Let them say whatever they want.” 

“If you don’t want to talk to him then don’t speak.” Shu Nian thought that it was a nice solution and repeated it for good measures. “Just don’t speak to him.”  

He thought of how those two were once together and the pain that came with it almost tore his heart apart. Xie Ruhe closed his eyes and tilted the corners of his mouth up. “Didn’t you say that ignoring people is bad?” 

Shu Nian blinked. “He’s an exception.” 

Xie Ruhe silently looked at her.  

Although she didn’t know why he disliked Xu Zeyuan, she still finished her words. “For people who you don’t like, you can just ignore them but those who are good to you, you can’t ignore them.”  

Shu Nian’s words were meaningful. 

Xie Ruhe eyebrows relaxed a little and he gave a quiet grunt in response.  

After speaking, Shu Nian suddenly realised something. She thought back to his attitude just then and hesitated to ask: “Xue Ruhe, did you just lose your temper with me?” 

“…” Xie Ruhe denied her. “I didn’t.” 

Shu Nian pushed him into the elevator with a frown. “But you interrupted me when I was talking.” 

“…” 

“Whatever I said just then, you opposed it all.” 

“…” 

“Your tone wasn’t great either.” 

Shu Nian’s tone was flat as she criticised his behaviour. She didn’t seem to be too bothered about it because she acted as if she was just narrating what had happened.  
Shu Nian wanted to continue.  

When Xie Ruhe suddenly turned around and grab her arm. He stuffed a gummy into her hand.  

They were at Xie Ruhe’s front door.  

Shu Nian looked down.  

She used to buy those sweets in the past.  

Xie Ruhe’s Adam apple bobbed. He didn’t let go of her hand and whispered. “I apologise.” 

Shu Nian didn’t react.  

After, Xie Ruhe lowered his head and reached into his coat pocket to take out another one to give to her.  

“I touched your hand without asking so here’s one more.” 

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