You Plus Me Equals

Max pulled up a leg continuing to stretch while staring off. Pretending as if he hadn't just asked a jaw-dropping shocking question for him. He instead watched the guys trotting around the course, staring after his classmates and practice competitors. Even though what they did and were doing was of very little interest, feigned or real to him. They were all too far away to hear what they were saying. And none of them had been a challenge for his running in over a year.

So he watched their running rhythms their strides, the way their muscles worked and stretched. The sound of their runners beating against the red dirt on the track and fell into the calmness and the familiarity it provided him. All while he waited in silence to see what his friend would say. Or what he should be saying instead.

He was so unsure of how to even broach a subject like this. Or if he even really wanted to talk about it anymore. But when the silence lengthened and Sam made no move to leave, he figured he didn't have much of a choice. Unless he wanted Sam to snap at him again. 'Which he didn't.'

"What if, the person you fall for is someone you really shouldn't have?" He asked cautiously, strain twinging his voice even though he tried to hide the stress it had been putting him under.

Sam smiled softly and walked forward closing the small distance between them. He placed a hand on his friend's shoulder gently.

"Who said anyone, is someone you shouldn't fall for?" Sam said knowingly and turned Max to look at him. Max had been rotating his shoulders doing the mandatory four stretches. But Sam put out his arm and stopped Max.

"Do you care about who Leo's parents are? How much money he has in his bank? Whether he has had a hundred, girlfriends, boyfriends or even one? If he has been kissed one thousand times or zero? Would you still like him even if you knew those things? Would you still like him no matter what previous experiences he has had?"

Max thought about it and nodded. "No,.." He said, then added quickly.

"I don't care about any of that. I would like him anyway." He said firmly sure of at least that much.

"Then why does his gender matter? Love is love." Sam said, simply, while smiling at his friend and shaking his head as if what Max had said was fairly stupid.

And when he put it that way it was true. It really did sound dumb.

"But I am attracted to him..."

"And that makes me gay right?"

"And if so, does that mean I can feel this for any man... Not just Leo?"

"Like how does this work? Is there any difference between him and any other man? Is there a book explaining what I am going through, like how they list off dog breeds in a book, because I looked online all night and I kept getting stuff about feelings and exploring oneself... I just want a page that has a bunch of boxes I can check off and at the end, it gives me the answer" Max said, sighing deflated.

He looked at Sam, his more experienced in love friend and pouted.

Sam smiled. If there was a test that just told you what you were feeling, how to feel, and what those feelings meant every time. It would be the most amazing thing in the world that could make the genius who made it rich... Great thought, by the way, save that for later. Max raised an eyebrow at Sam and glared.

"We will circle back to that," Sam said cheekily.

"There really isn't because each person is different and unique. All we can do is ask ourselves the important questions and determine for our self what we are feeling." Sam nodded as if he were assuring himself the answer was right.

"What kinda questions do you ask when you are so conflicted you can't think straight?" Max asked.

"Well for starters. Have you done "anything" together, or to each other?" Sam asked seriously.

Max blushed a little.

"We have kissed," Max said sheepishly.

Sam s.u.c.k.e.d in an excited breath.

"Twice," Max added with a smile.

Sam grinned giddily. "Ooh, nice, my boy has skills. Okay, So, did you like it? Did you feel anything? Did you try going further?"

"Yes, lots, tons... It was amazing. It was like a million bolts of lightning. It was so strong I felt like I had my insides tangled." Max blurted.

"I thought my head would explode." Max finished sheepishly as Sam's grin deepened and he saw the signs that Sam was going to turn into his hyper, excited self soon.

"Well, jeez, why are you stalling?" Sam asked, dumbfounded, nearly vibrating happily, in place.

He calmed back down as he noticed Max's face hadn't changed and he wasn't anymore chipper or happier than before.

"Because... " Max struggled for a moment.

"Ugh, I don't know, okay!"