Without Me

Every particle of the soul Yao Xi, screamed that she would run away from this house as far away, as possible from this toxic family, for whom all that had any meaning, was money and power.

And as far away, as possible from this demon.

She could be brave. She could be able to bear more than other people because of her harsh and ruthless childhood.

But it didn't change the fact, that she had to face the man who deprived her life with his own hands, without blinking.

She had to get all the courage out of herself, to face her worst nightmare.

Yao Xi entered the spacious living room with trembling legs. She was welcomed by a bright interior illuminated by numerous light bulbs in crystal chandeliers. She could never come to terms with such a waste of money on electricity.

It was the middle of spring, early afternoon, beautiful sunny weather outside the window. She didn't understand, why it would further illuminate the interiors so bright.

She will never understand, what is hidden in the empty heads of the rich.

Yao Xi looked around the living room. Nothing has changed. The winding stairs from two sides led to the first floor where the bedrooms were. On the right side were comfortable

bright couches and a huge TV set, in which, as she remembered well, the information and business channel from the country and the world was turned on for all day long.

If it was not for this television, she would not have seen Li Ye Han. He rarely stayed at home, and when he was already, he locked himself in his office or bedroom, as if he didn't want to breathe the same air as she did.

To the left of the stairs there was a door leading to the dining room which, with its size, reminded many a flat.

Yao Xi spent a lot of time there, while waiting for Li Ye Han to have dinner with him.

She knows exactly the texture of the wood from which the table was sculpted, each pattern of the wood grain. She stared at it so many times, waiting for him, that she almost dreamed of it at night.

Yao Xi felt like a passive spectator, when the next memories associated with this house flooded her mind. From the perspective of time and experience, she now clearly saw her stupidity, which she had never noticed before, too blinded by an unrequited feeling.

There was a lot of truth in the saying: You will not start crying until you see your coffin.

Fortunately, she came back some wonderful way. She got another chance. Otherwise, her spirit would never have found peace in the beyond.

The sharp sound of broken glass scared Yao Xi, who jumped violently. Turning around, she saw a young maid standing at the door leading to the dining room. She was holding an empty silver tray in her hands, and at her feet were pieces of broken porcelain cup.

The maid's face was deadly pale. She looked like she saw a ghost. And it was almost the truth. Yao Xi was gone for several months. She was convinced that her skin was still pale and sickly after the accident.

Yao Xi cleared her throat, restoring the servant to the senses.. The young girl knelt to collect the broken pieces of the cup, not even greeting Yao Xi at home.

Yao Xi was used to such treatment. First at the Yao family home, now here; everywhere she was treated like an outcast. But it didn't bother her. She didn't intend to spend a lot of time here. If her plan goes her way, she will leave this house relatively quickly. She could stand it.

From the second floor, alarmed by the sudden noise, the steward fled. The old servant had been working in this house for years, and knew it as his own pocket. Seeing the maid cleansing the remains of porcelain, he frowned in disp.l.e.a.s.u.r.e. He was about to punish a clumsy girl, when his eyes stopped at Yao Xi. He stopped momentarily in his footsteps and bowed his head respectfully: "Madam, welcome home."

Old butler, unlike the rest of the service, knew perfectly well what place Li Yao Xi had in the heart of senior Li. Butler Wen couldn't afford to offend her, afraid of his anger.

Yao Xi was also aware of that, but she was still indifferent. Steward Wen might have been afraid of his grandfather, but he remained loyal to his master - Li Ye Han.

She knew perfectly well, that he was reporting her every move. She knew that Li Ye Han ordered to watch her, afraid that she could do something stupid and jeopardize the good name of this family, but Yao Xi never made a mistake. She was always obedient and orderly. She wouldn't do anything that would not please her husband and his family, that's why Butler felt compassion for her, seeing how she was trying, and often hiding her when she made a small, insignificant mistake.

" Is everything all right, Madam? "

Yao Xi nodded. She doubted that Wen was asking for concern. Although he usually didn't cause her problems, he did nothing to facilitate her life in the villa. He never disciplined arrogant servants for openly ignoring her. She didn't have to answer him.

"The Master would like to see you in his office, " said Wen as she began to climb the stairs.

Yao Xi paused for a moment with furrowed eyebrows ...

In the previous life, nothing like this happened. She began to wonder if the accident had somehow influenced her memories. How else to explain this sudden change?

" Tell your master that I have no p.l.e.a.s.u.r.e to see him now, " she said in a tone as calm as she could afford.

She continued to climb the stairs, not turning around, so she didn't notice the incredulous look of butler Wen.

Yao Xi reached the first floor, where she turned into a long corridor. The third door on the left was the door to her bedroom.

Having crossed the threshold, she almost cried at seeing familiar of beige walls and furniture. For seven years, this room was her oasis of peace. A fortress, in which she could lock herself up and nobody would disturb her, regardless of the circ.u.mstances. Even the servants, which immediately caught her eye. The ubiquitous dust testified that for three months nobody looked in, but she didn't mind. She liked to clean up her things herself.

Yao Xi looked sentimentally around the room. Small rays of afternoon sunlight flooded through two small windows, bright rectangles laying on the wooden floor.

Simple furniture was made of light, polished wood. At one of the walls was a large wardrobe, and next to it a small desk and chair framed with pleasant material. A large bed stood on the opposite wall, and white mosquito nets drifted down from the ceiling over it. There was a small white dressing table under the window.

Yao Xi went to the closet and opened it. Inside, her things were put together as she left them. There was not much, just a few sets of clothes for all weather.

With a sigh, she went to the desk, and a new wave of memories flooded her mind. There were various recipes scattered on the counter, which Yao Xi remembered as the ones she used to make Li Ye Han lunch on the day of her accident.

On each card, Yao Xi made a note, modifying the recipe slightly to match her husband's preferences.

She couldn't help it, once again cursed herself for how stupid and naive she was. She put her whole self into this man. She gave him everything she had the most precious. He even took her v.i.r.g.i.n.i.t.y, without asking. And what did she get in return?

Pain, humiliation and everyday torment.

With one move, she grabbed all the cards from the desk and threw them into a handy dustbin next to the desk.

"No more self-pity," she scolded, cleaning her hands from the dust. "Time to move on"

The moment the last card landed in the basket, the door of her bedroom opened with a bang, and a man, who haunted her in nightmares every night, came in .

He walked in a calm, unhurried pace. He looked like an ancient emperor pacing his harem, but the aura that emanated his body was far from royal.

He looked like Asura from hell, looking for his next victim.

The black, perfectly tailored suit emphasized only the demonic face of Li Ye Han, and the perfectly combed hair showed no slightest negligence. Everything in it was perfect. And those eyes ...

Eyes that can steal your soul, and you will not even know when. Eyes as blue as the furthest, inaccessible glaciers, the purest in their form. They drilled and pierced until you wanted to confess all yours sins, even those of childhood. Everything. He was able to extract all the necessary information with just a look.

"It's terrifying to see what his eyes can do," thought Yao Xi, remembering when she herself drowned in them every time she managed to sneak a quick glance at him.

This time she did everything to avoid them.

She was terrified. She knew that as soon as she looked back at this azure blue, she would be finished. She was afraid of losing her mind again, as when, after the divorce, he found her at the M u Sheng club.

She shuddered involuntarily, but she continued her chores, pretending that Li Ye Han was not there, despite his fiery gaze burning the hole in her back.

"Where were you ?!" He roared so suddenly that Yao Xi almost dropped the vase with the dried flowers.

She calmed her nagging heart and grasped the vase more firmly to stop the trembling of her hands. This voice...

"Where the hell were you for three months ?! " repeated so loudly that Yao Xi for a moment imagined shaky walls.

She frowned, confused. Why did he ask about it? She remembered how sorry she was when Li Ye Han had not asked her this question in her previous life. At that time, she had dreamed about it, but now the only thing she felt was disgust and consternation.

She just shrugged her shoulders, taking a neutral tone as she answered calmly: " I don't think I need to explain myself."

Steward Wen s.u.c.k.e.d in a loud breath and only then did Yao Xi realize that he was there.

He stood at the door, trying to minimize his existence.

He knew his master like no one else, but for the first time in many years he had seen him in this state. He was not himself for the last months, but today his fury has reached a new level. And thanks to this woman. It was always about this woman. No one like her could take the master out of balance. She was the only one.

Li Ye Han stared at Yao Xi's back and the blue vein on his forehead throbbed. The man's pupils contracted with rage, making him look like a snake getting ready to attack his victim.

Yao Xi felt the trickle of cold sweat pouring down her back, but she stubbornly ignored it. If she can be intimidated now, what sense would her revenge be, if she shook her boots with every attack of his fury?

" Don't try to play with me, " he hissed through clenched teeth.

Yao Xi heard his approaching footsteps, and panic made her heart almost jump into her throat. In her ears she heard the sound of blood flowing through her veins. She felt dangerously close to fainting. She bit her lower lip firmly, and the pain effectively revived her.

"That's it when it comes to avoiding stressful situations," she cried in her soul, sending a silent apology to Dr. Sun, who put in so much effort to remind her how important calmness was at every step. Now everything was to be wasted by this despot.

In the next second, Yao Xi felt a crushing presence behind her and a strong pressure on her right shoulder. Before she could react, she was standing face to face with the dark face of Li Ye Han.

Panicked. She didn't want to look at his face or the hell of hell eyes. She closed her eyelids, refusing to open them.

" Open your eyes, " he commanded in his low, frigid voice that was able to lower the temperature around a few degrees.

In fact, Yao Xi not only not opened her eyes, but retreated a few steps, trying to free herself from the vise in which he held her arm. The place where his hand touched Yao Xi's skin burned painfully.

At last Li Ye Han lost his patience and took a step forward to grab her jaw. His ruthlessness froze the hearts of people in the room.

No one knew about it, but his anger in the past few weeks was hiding a deep feeling he did not suspect. And it was fear.

He grabbed her chin and turned her back to look at him. Although none of them spoke, their mutual struggle was intense. None of them wanted to give in to another. Yao Xi used all her jaw strength, refusing to submit, which caused Li Ye Han's strength to increase, almost breaking her bones.

"Do you want to wrestle?" She snorted in her soul. "I've already died once, I'm not afraid of such a nip," she mocked, still remembering the hell she was going through. If Li Ye Han thought that applying physical violence to her would make her give in, he was in great mistake.

" Look at me, " he ordered his authoritative, obnoxious voice.

He was like a big iceberg that you cann't avoid, and the mind of Yao Xi was working at full speed. She had to get out of it cleverly. She thought through all the pros and cons, and came to the conclusion that if she provoked this psycho, the devils knew what he could do in his rage. This man loved to have everything under control. He could have destroyed everything if he had such a whim, which is why Yao Xi decided that for the sake of her plan, she could bear this man for a while. She imagined her trouble-free and free life. Yes, it was worth it. She has gone through so much that she will not make any difference to her yet. In the end, she died once, what could have done her worse?

After an internal fight, Yao Xi parted her eyelids, but deliberately avoided the area around his eyes.

She focused her gaze on Li Ye Han's jet-black hair and concluded that it was not the best idea. The more she looked at them, the more she imagined her combing them with her fingers.

Yao Xi had to strike an imaginary hammer in the head to free herself from these paranoid visions. She was mentally ill, she had to admit it. She was a m.a.s.o.c.h.i.s.t.

The touch on her chin tightened, causing her to wrinkle her nose with distaste.

" Where were you?"

She took the most innocent tone, hiding drops of venom and hatred in her voice: "I decided to visit the mountains. I always dreamed about it and when the opportunity came, I took advantage.

Yao Xi mentally patted her c.h.e.s.t. She was brilliant. Maybe she should make a career as an actress? She didn't even stumble.

It was the first thing that occurred to her. Li Ye Han's behavior was different from that in her previous life, so she didn't make any excuses for herself. She had to improvise. She smoked the first, which her saliva brought to her tongue, praying in a spirit, that today was one of those days in which the generally genius mind of Li Ye Han had a failure.

The man watched her like a hawk, looking for any weakness he could use, but Yao Xi's attitude didn't change. She was calm and composed, Li Ye Han had no way to disprove this answer.

The tense atmosphere deepened when Li Ye Han did not move, watching her closely.

When she felt she had lost her jaw, Li Ye Han finally let her go, but he did not move away.

"Why didn't you tell anyone?"

Yao Xi's hand, which massaged her chin, shuddered, but quickly calmed down. She stepped back and went to the desk, continuing the cleaning: " I didn't think it would interest you, Mr. Li."

Now he was confused.

She had never called him that way before. And her avoidance of eye contact also didn't escape his attention. Evidently she was crossing the border between them, which gave him a mixed feeling. He was accustomed to seeing the woman looking at him with her glassy, ​​lover eyes forever. And although he didn't like it, a sudden change in her behavior aroused his curiosity.

" The next time you want to touring again, let Wen know, " he demanded icily, and Yao Xi's heart raced away from the rhythm "Did he worry?"

But his next words quickly pierced the bubble, which began to grow involuntarily in the heart of Yao Xi: " Grandpa wanted to see you. He called every day and was very worried when he couldn't talk to you."

Yeah. What did she expect? She could've foreseen that Grandpa had to give Li Ye Han hell when he could not contact her.

She smiled crookedly, ignoring the stinging feeling in her heart before turning to Li Ye Han with an apologetic smile, still not meeting his eyes: " Of course. I will contact grandfather and apologize.

Li Ye Han stared at her for a moment, then turned and left without another word.

Yao Xi fell down on the bed powerlessly, as if all her life had escaped her. She hissed in pain, forgetting about her wounds and curled up in a fetal position.

Lying there, she wondered how she should follow Dr Sun's advice to avoid stress. It was impossible in this house. She even began to suspect that she would never recover until she lived here.

She had to get out of here. "As soon as possible," she thought as drowsiness began to take control of her body.

She was finished. One encounter with the devil, and all the steam she had regenerated since she had awakened, had evaporated through the pores of her skin.

" Tomorrow ," she murmured sleepily, as her head touched the hard cushion, and a few seconds later, Yao Xi's consciousness drifted somewhere between waking and sleeping.

***

While Yao Xi was in the warm embrace of Morpheus, someone in the villa apparently couldn't find a place.

Li Ye Han circled around his office with his hands on his back. Over the last weeks, he did that so often, that the steward Wen was afraid that the oak floor would withstand it. A moment, and will be needed exchanges of panels, because the well-trodden path was visible.

Steward Wen said to his master in his mind: "Master, if you go on like this, you will not have anywhere to walk."

"Find out where she was all this time," the dark voice of Li Ye Han resounded in a quiet office like a curse. "I want to know everything. Where she slept, what she did, who she was with. And even what she ate. Contact the administrator of city monitoring, let them follow their every move. I give you a week."

Cold sweat poured over the face and back of the old servant. He wanted to cry, but he lacked tears. How was he to trace the three-month journey that madame went to?

Wuwuwu ... His master was so cruel ...

Li Ye Han stopped his steps and looked over his shoulder at the steward. His gaze was murderous and immediately all room became cold. Despite the sun coming in through the window, the steward shivered and crouched.

" If you can't do even that, why should I keep you?"

This unspeakable threat made Wen's butler's legs shake involuntarily. He was better than others aware, of what the master is doing with unnecessary people.

Collecting all his courage, he stammered: " Immediately" Then he disappeared behind the door with his tail curled.

The man in the office returned to his walk across the room with an unreadable expression on his face.

He lit a cigarette and the smoke he released danced in the afternoon sun.

" I am curious who gave you the courage to make a fool of me, " he murmured to himself, ignoring the ashes that soundlessly fell on the cosmically expensive floor. " We'll see if you can handle the consequences, when I find out you've lied to me."