Thousand Autumns

—SHEN QIAO DID NOT EXPECT that he would do such a thing, so he was quite startled.

The other man moved with lithe and graceful steps. A moment passed, and they had already left the small grove and reached the foot of the mountain, following an upwards path that led to the opposite side of the mountain.

Shen Qiao’s mind went blank for a good moment, before asking: “We’re going up the mountain?”

“On the other side is a temple, hidden within the mountain itself. It’s been abandoned for several years,” Yan Wushi said.

Shen Qiao was suspicious. “You seem to be familiar with this place.”

“After I battled with Cui Youwang that year, I had entered seclusion in this mountain,” Yan Wushi said.

Shen Qiao suddenly understood, but did not ask any more questions. He was indeed very tired. Earlier, he had fought with all of his strength against four people. Bai Rong, Yan Shou and Baoyun had all come at him, each one stronger than the other, and this wasn’t including Xiao Se, who had been severely wounded by Yan Wushi. With Shen Qiao’s present internal strength, even if he possessed the realm of jian xin, it still wouldn’t mean that he could escape completely unscathed.

Though Yan Wushi’s pace was rather quick, it was also very steady. Shen Qiao could feel the warmth of his body through the fabric of his clothing. Without the strength to think much more, he fell asleep without realizing it.

The next time that he opened his eyes, he found that he was no longer surrounded by a thicket of trees like earlier, but instead what looked to be a temple.

Due to how old it was, the incense sticks within the temple had already been broken in half. They didn’t even know where the incense burner could have been. The statue of Buddha had been severed at the head, and around them were large nets of dust. However, where Shen Qiao had slept was clean. Beneath him was a curtain, pulled down from two nearby pillars. Though it was rather old and tattered, it wasn’t nearly as bad as sleeping on the cold stone floors.

He rested his back against the wall for a moment. Though he had not sustained any heavy wounds from earlier, the internal wounds he sustained from battling with Xueting had been somewhat irritated, which resulted in his present condition, leaving him unable to utilize his full strength in battle. This was also the reason why he was unable to kill Yan Shou. Afterwards, with Baoyun being added into the battle as well, this opportunity was, in the end, lost to him.

Shen Qiao dizzily rubbed his head, and sighed softly.

A cool hand brushed past him. Shen Qiao was completely unprepared. A tremble passed through his body as he felt the ice-cold fingers make contact with his skin.

“What are you sighing for?”

Yan Wushi was sitting beside him. He was reading the sheet of silk in his other hand.

Shen Qiao narrowed his eyes at the sheet, scrutinizing it. Sure enough, it was the lost volume of the Zhuyang Ce that the man had taken from Chen Gong that day.

He wanted to speak, but could only watch as Yan Wushi turned over his hand and placed the sheet of silk in the fire. In an instant, it was swallowed by the flames.

Shen Qiao was silent.

Yan Wushi turned and caught sight of Shen Qiao’s expression. He did not wait for the man to ask, and instead spoke: “I’ve already memorized the contents. What use would there be if I left it?”

“As a last resort, you could have given the sheet of silk to Hehuan Sect so as to escape them,” Shen Qiao said. “Why won’t you even give yourself this way out?”

“Even if I did give them the sheet of silk, do you think that they’ll believe that it’s really the last volume?” Yan Wushi asked.

Shen Qiao frowned and did not speak.

Yan Wushi smiled unkindly: “In the past, the Riyue Sect had a secret technique that I’m sure even you haven’t heard about. In truth, it is simply the Moyin Shexin utilized at its utmost perfection. If you can achieve this, then you can control the minds of others and force them to speak the truth without their realizing it. If it were my choice to make, I would much rather decide to use this method of getting information I want to hear, rather than believe some characters written on a sheet of silk.”

“Then if Yan Shou and the others take advantage of your greatly reduced cultivation, capture you and take you back to Hehuan Sect, they could easily have you recite the contents of the lost volume of the Zhuyang Ce,” Shen Qiao said.

“That’s right,” Yan Wushi said. “My worth to them cannot even compare to that of a corpse. Additionally, with possession of the Zhuyang Ce and my position as the zongzhu of Huanyue Sect, they can easily control Huanyue Sect as they like if they capture me.”

It was as Shen Qiao thought. Yan Wushi had read the lost volume of the Zhuyang Ce, which means that he had already read three of the five available volumes. Most significant was the one that they had found in the underground city of Ruoqiang, as it had specifically corrected and further supplemented parts of the Fenglin Yuandian. Sang Jingxing and Yuan Xiuxiu both studied the Fenglin Yuandian, and naturally understood the effects of the flaws within the demonic core. Any day they went where the flaw was yet to have been corrected was another day that they could not cultivate the Fenglin Yuandian to absolute perfection. As a result, they would want the contents of this volume more than anyone.

Had it been the Yan Wushi of before, so at ease and far above the rest of them, his mere identity would have made them too afraid of the consequences of taking any rash action against him. But the present Yan Wushi had just returned from the brink of death after the five great masters made an attempt on his life. His wugong was significantly inferior to what it was before. If they did not act now, then when?

Shen Qiao understood very well the methods that the members of the demonic sect utilized.

Content Warning: Implied rape. Gruesome imagery (gore). (highlight to read).

The reason why Sang Jingxing wanted to ruin Shen Qiao’s wugong was because of the day that Shen Qiao had killed his disciple, Huo Xijing. He wanted to cut off his limbs and keep them as his trophies; and after recklessly toying with him, he wanted to give him to the rest of Hehuan Sect to violate him. And considering the relationship between Huanyue and Hehuan Sect in the past few years, as well as Yan Wushi’s venomous words and overindulgent behavior, the treatment that Yan Wushi would receive at the hands of the members of the Hehuan Sect wouldn’t be that much better than that of Shen Qiao.

Content Warning End.

Upon thinking of this, Shen Qiao’s frown only deepened. “If that’s the case, then we ought to hurry up and set out, so that we won’t get caught by them.”

“Are you being this considerate to me,” Yan Wushi started, laughing, “because you want me to be moved to tears and devote my heart to you?”

Shen Qiao paid no mind to the derision in his tone, and instead responded solemnly: “I know that Yan-zongzhu has never cared for anyone. But this is a matter of life and death. Your flaw has yet to heal over, and your strength has yet to be restored. If it were only Yan Shou and the others, then perhaps we could handle them. But once Sang Jingxing comes, not even I will be able to ward him off. It would be best to be cautious.”

However, Yan Wushi did not seem even the slightest bit disturbed. He simply fed a nearby branch into the fire so as to make it brighter, and suddenly asked a question that had nothing to do with anything: “If you could do everything over again, would you still choose to let me save you at Banbu Peak[61]?”

This question caught Shen Qiao off guard. He simply shook his head: “I’m afraid that such matters aren’t for me to decide.”

“In that case,” Yan Wushi said, “even if you knew from the beginning that you would have become hopelessly entangled with me, and that I would have personally handed you off to Sang Jingxing, you wouldn’t regret it?”

“There is no cure for remorse,” Shen Qiao said. “For as long as we live, we will never be able to recover that which has passed us by. Rather than clinging to such resentment and never allowing myself relief, it would be better to thank you for having taught me how to see this world and the sentiments of its people.”

The light of the fire illuminated his earnest expression, revealing a rare sort of gentleness.

Yan Wushi suddenly began to laugh. He said in a tender voice: “Ah-qiao, you’re so foolish. When have I ever treated you well?”

He extended one hand in Shen Qiao’s direction, as though wanting to stroke his cheek. However, Shen Qiao backed away, evading from him, while raising one hand to ward him off. Who would have thought that Yan Wushi drew his other hand over him—however, it was not to attack him. He had merely brushed his sleeve past Shen Qiao’s eyes.

Shen Qiao halted his breathing the moment he caught the strange scent from it. However, it had already entered his nose. His body, which had already lost so much of its strength already, became even weaker. The other man took advantage of this, and closed Shen Qiao’s acupoint.

“When will you finally rid yourself of this ailment you have of letting your guard down?” Yan Wushi shook his head. “Or perhaps you’ve already considered me to be someone trustworthy deep down in your heart?”

After saying this, he did not pay any mind to how Shen Qiao stared at him, his eyes wide. Instead, he bent down and kissed the tip of his nose, before taking Shen Qiao into his arms and carrying him towards the Buddha statue.

Only then did Shen Qiao realize that the other side of the Buddha statue had a deep recess within it. The space was not large, nor was it small. It was enough for a single person to sit cross-legged within it.

Yan Wushi explained to him, as though he had all the time in the world: “It isn’t cheap to cast a full-bodied statue of Buddha. Many temples will usually ask to have the statue be hollow from behind, so as to reduce the cost. I had come by this temple before in the past. This statue was turned out in large quantities without much regard for the quality that it was in. Even the hollowed-out inside was so lazily put together. Whoever made it seemed inclined to only carve something half-decent in the front. But lucky for you, it’s to your benefit now.”

Shen Qiao frowned: “What do you mean to do?!”

“That year, I’d also seen the lost volume of the Zhuyang Ce stored in the imperial palace of Northern Zhou. But we’re in a hurry now. There isn’t any time for me to recite it to you. If you wish to see it, then look for Yuwen Yong in Chang’an. He has met you once, and recognizes your worth. I’m sure that he will be willing to make an exception for you. Also, you must tell Bian Yanmei. Tell him not to worry about me any longer, but instead have him take advantage of the fact that Zhou has annexed Qi, and extend Huanyue Sect’s influence over Qi before thinking of anything else.”

Shen Qiao’s expression suddenly darkened: “I’m not a member of Huanyue Sect. You should be the one saying all of this yourself. What does this have to do with me?”

Yan Wushi laughed, but did not speak. He simply stroked Shen Qiao’s cheek. This action he performed slowly, and with great care, as if he wanted to take in the sensation of the tips of his fingers brushing the other man’s skin. The atmosphere took on an indescribable ambiguity. He was unexpectedly met with the sight of both Shen Qiao’s cheeks slowly becoming dyed a faint, soft red.

“Our Ah-qiao is ever so beautiful. No wonder even that girl Bai Rong has taken such a liking to you. With her around, she will certainly help conceal your whereabouts just as well. She won’t let you fall into the hands of Yan Shou and the rest.”

If Shen Qiao still didn’t understand what he meant to do after saying this, then he would truly be too stupid.

“Yan Wushi! I did not go through the hardship of helping you escape this entire journey so that you could give yourself up in the end!”

Yan Wushi laughed loudly: “I never regret handing you off personally to Sang Jingxing—not then, and not now. Yet here you are with the opportunity to witness me experience such misfortune, and wearing such a grief-stricken face! Ah-qiao ah, Ah-qiao. You’ve really disappointed me! You should be rejoicing in my disaster, you should be celebrating deep inside! How could you possibly wear such a pitiful look? I can’t keep myself from wanting to draw closer to you!”

He said this, and he truly took Shen Qiao’s chin between his fingers before bending in and invading Shen Qiao’s lips with his own, only stopping when he felt the other man’s breath become ragged and his eyes glisten.

“All that I’ve ever done was for myself and no one else. I have never regret a thing, and this is no different. This isn’t to atone for any crime, much less is it for anything as ridiculous as guilt. There’s no need to think that you are indebted to me, or even mistakenly believe that this is something it’s not[62]. That would only make me sick.”

He wiped away the glistening shine of Shen Qiao’s lip, before laughing in a low voice: “I will wait for the day that you can honor your promise, and become my worthy opponent. Perhaps that way, I will be able to gaze at you a little longer.”

Shen Qiao tried with all his strength to reopen his acupoint, but to no avail. Yan Wushi’s methods were too sly. Every attempt he made to undo them were completely unsuccessful. Instead, he had exerted himself so much that sweat appeared upon his forehead and his face reddened even further, as though he were both humiliated and filled with resent.

As he watched Yan Wushi pull away and prepare to leave, Shen Qiao was in such distress that even the tone of his voice had altered greatly: “Stop!”

The other man paused for a moment upon hearing him, before extending one hand to close his ya[63] acupoint.

Shen Qiao’s chest rose and fell repeatedly with increasing urgency. His eyes seemed to be filled to the brim with clear, smooth tears, shimmering with a glossy light that could have moved any man.

Yan Wushi bent down to say this in his ear, before laughing softly: “You shouldn’t wear such a face around other people. Otherwise, I won’t be able to hold myself back, much less Sang Jingxing.”

After this, he pushed the statue in front of a wall, so that the area where Shen Qiao was hidden seemed to have been joined with it, making him much harder to be discovered.

He then put out the fire and, with a wave of his hand, caused debris to fall upon the area where Shen Qiao had been sitting, leaving no further trace that he was there.

Once he had done all of this, Yan Wushi experienced a sense of impending danger, as though someone with a strong desire to kill were approaching them from far away.

But for those who have reached a certain point in their studies with wugong, the reaction they have when confronted with danger is one that is incredibly mysterious and abstruse.

A smirk slowly revealed itself upon his face. With great strides, he left the temple. His silhouette flew forwards, and in a moment, disappeared into the night.

Moonlight spilled into the temple, illuminating the ruined walls and cracked tiles of the temple, bringing a weak light to the person that hid within the Buddha statue.

His tears had finally condensed, and began to fall from his eyes.

However, only a short moment passed before he was able to hear the voices of people from the outside: “With Sang-zhanglao’s wugong, how could he possibly be unable to capture that insignificant Yan Wushi?”

“Insignificant Yan Wushi?” Bai Rong laughed coldly. “Xiao-shixiong, would you dare to say such a thing to Yan Wushi’s face?”

“Stop talking!” Yan Shou, who had no patience for noise, frowned, and continued: “Yan Wushi left on his own, and Shen Qiao was not by his side. It’s more than likely that he’s hiding away nearby. And after having fought with us earlier, Shen Qiao had exerted a great amount of energy. He couldn’t have gone far--search this place over, and then we’ll discuss this later!”

[1] The original chapter title isn’t on jjwxc anymore, so I just picked a line and put it here.

[2] 飛花落葉: fei hua luo ye. An idiom, literally translated, that means: a fluttering flower, a falling leaf. It is used to describe Pratyekabuddhas (獨覺承人), or those who have achieved Buddhist enlightenment alone, without teachers or guides.

[3] 自然: ziran. This is typically translated as ‘nature’, but ‘ziran’ also means simply ‘to be,’ or ‘naturally occuring’.

[4] 以静制动 yi jing zhi dong: to move along with silence. often used to describe being as patient as one can with a decision, not to act rashly; to move with one’s opponent instead of trying to move first.

[5] 佛杵: fo chu. a Buddhist ritual object, referred to as a ‘vajra’ in Sanskrit, meant to symbolize both the properties of a diamond (indestructibility) and a thunderbolt (irresistible force).

[6] This is an excerpt from Ode to the Nymph of Luo River by Cao Zhi (曹植的《洛神赋》). Translation from Classical to contemporary Mandarin here, and thank goodness for it, because I was not going to make heads or tails of it otherwise.

[7] 劍道 jiandao: the ‘path’ of studying the sword, swordsmanship.

[8] 干將莫邪 gan jiang and mo ye: a swordsmith couple who were prominent in literature during the spring and autumn period, and...yeah, they died as a result of forging these swords, named for them! you can read this tale here.

[9] I want Shen Qiao to be my boyfriend and I want him to say that he was sorry for leaving me behind ok this just!!!!!!! THIS IS JUST!!!!!

[10] 內息 neixi: in wugong, this is the natural breathing that occurs when one is meditating. i’ll add more to this later.

[11] Er...the word here was 粉末 which means ‘dust’, but it doesn’t really make sense?

[12] See end of chapter.

[13] 恩師: enshi: deeply respected mentor/master.

[14] king please cure my anxiety too

[15] 天真 tianzhen: this could also be translated as ‘innocence’.

[16] 跌宕起伏 : die dang qi fu: more literally, ‘a series of ups and downs’. Ups and downs is way too light-hearted to describe what Shen Qiao has gone through, though.

[17] 自作多情: zi zuo duo qing. This does not necessarily mean that Shen Qiao was romantically in love with Yan Wushi, but it could be interpreted that way. When you are 自作多情, you are engaging more in a shared emotion than another person--you may have assumed that the other person has forgiven you when they haven’t, or that they’re your friend when they don’t think that you are theirs. As 自作多情’s more literal translation is that of ‘affection’, i kept it as such, because modifying it in any way to suit the context of Shen Qiao and Yan Wushi’s relationship would have been me applying my own reader’s bias to their relationship.

[18] 以身相許: yi shen xiang xu. Pleco definition is: pledge to marry someone, devote their life to/give their heart to, or, of a woman, to “have sex with a man of her own will.” I am taking this as an innuendo.

[19] 言笑晏晏 yanxiao yan yan: the last two characters, ‘yan’, is the same ‘yan’ in his name. it’s a common surname, but in this idiom, means ‘quiet’ and ‘gentle’.

[20] 誘哄: you hong. not much a note but ‘hong’ on its own can also mean to amuse and comfort a small child. together with ‘you’, baidu says that it means to allure and deceive.

[21] not just them but us too old man!

[22] Most likely referring to Xiangwu County.

[23] Bo is a respectful suffix for an older man.

[24] 青色: the color “qing” is, as described by dear editor bread, a [bluish-green] color with deep middle tones and high contrast. This color is teal, seafoam green, blue-green...what sq wears in the audio drama art is quite accurate. Apologies as this word was translated probably 2 or 3 different ways inconsistently in my first draft.

[25] 涼糕: lianggao. cake made of glutinous rice, served cold. fun fact, i immediately thought of it in tteokbeokki shape...tteokbeokki shen qiao

[26] 主人: zhuren. master. I’m keeping ‘zhuren’ when yws is addressed as such, and using ‘master’ otherwise.

[27] Zhou is congee, but i fucking hate the word congee (what the fuck is that?) so i’m calling it zhou. sorry!

[28] I think he’s talking about little Shiwu here, from when they had run into him in Xiangzhou City for the first time.

[29] but he’s a fucking chatterbox

[30] the idiom is: if you’d given him a dozen guts. but that doesn’t sound that nice, does it?

[31] The word used here is ‘shaonian’, which refers specifically to boys in their early youth (10-16 y/o).

[32] 主公: zhugong. ‘my lord’, or, when referring to a ruler, ‘your majesty.’

[33] 施主: shizhu: a term used by Buddhist monks to address non-monks. Yeeeeeah.

[34] 圍棋: weiqi: more widely known by its japanese name, ‘go’.

[35] yall remember that evil fake monk guy? the one that killed guanzhu and chuyi? yeaaaaaa thats him...

[36] Revision pending. 不動明王 (bu dong ming wang) is the name of Acala, a dharmapala in Buddhism. He is a deity invoked in Buddhist rituals to "frighten gods, titans, men and destroy the strength of demons", and he slays all ghosts and evil spirits. Bu Dong Ming Wang Yin/Acala Seal is Xueting-chanshi’s signature move.

[37] 魔障：mozhang. Obstacles set up by a demon, or Mara, the demon of temptation.

[38] Pending revision. 金剛: jingang. Used to translate ‘vajra’, Sanskrit for a thunderbolt or mythical weapon; may also refer to a guardian deity in Buddhist iconography.

[39] The way I imagine this, is that there is an afterimage of his hand that moves with him, and is very large in size.

[40] 天闊虹影: tian kuo hong ying: ‘open skies and image of a rainbow’. In case you forgot, this is the name of Xuandu Mountain’s qinggong/flight maneuver.

[41] TL note: I don’t know if y’all noticed yet (I’m sure you have), but Chinese poetry has a certain hyperbolic quality to it. Ha Jin describes this much better than I can:

“In English, a more restrictive and precise language, such an analogy sounds hyperbolic, but to the Chinese ear it sounds proper and even credible. To praise a man’s capacity for alcohol, Du Fu writes that “he drinks like a long whale sucking a hundred rivers”—an impossible image, but Chinese readers take it as natural and wonderful. To describe a woman’s beauty, people will say that her looks make fish dive deeper and geese drop to the ground (as if out of shame)...they are not meant to reflect literal truth, but rather to impress others by highlighting...extraordinariness.”

[42] 太極 Taiji: the absolute or supreme ultimate; the source of all things according to interpretations of Chinese mythology.

[43] 中氣: zhongqi. vital energy of the cavity in TCM.

[44] I think a lot of you already know this, but for those who don’t, I THINK (don’t quote me on this) it’s a TCM phenomenon for someone to cough up blood when they’ve suffered internal injuries OR if they get angry enough. I also think it’s a saying too...to be so angry you cough blood 氣得吐血.

[45] This is one of my favorite passages in the novel. Just a fun fact! I love it so much.

[46] 氏：shi. a term of address often added to a married woman’s maiden name.

[47] ...weiqi board....

[48] This isn’t, interestingly enough, the country of Qi that’s been felled haha. It is just a part of his title.

[49] What he says here is 胡說八道, which roughly translates to ‘nonsense!’ but ‘nonsense’ sounds way too light in this context. i don’t think sq would be rash enough to tell him to shut up or say ‘bullshit’ though lol.

[50] 客觀 keguan: address to a customer. patron.

[51] Awaiting revision.

[52] 新柳: xin liu. This is a baby blue sort of color.

[53] In Chinese, pronouns are typically the following: 他/她/它 (he, she, it). The catch is that they are all pronounced the same (ta), so in speech, Yan Wushi technically says, “His skin is rather fair”—but Su-niang wouldn’t know that it’s a ‘he’. She would naturally assume that he is saying ‘she’. As a result, I’m using ‘their’ here to keep everything making similar sense in English.

[54] 印記 yinji: the seal or stamp of a government organization in old China.

[55] DAMN....LMAOOOOOOO SDJKNCSKJDKSBFKHDSKJH HE JUS SHOOK HIS HEADDDDD

[56] Reminder that this is a different character for ‘yan’. No relation to Yan Wushi. : )

[57] 'His figure moved’ is the more literal translation but that also doesn’t sound that great either….idk its 2 am SOBS (hands to future nhi + bread for revision time)

[58] It’s actually “The Monk with Blood on his Hands” but that is way too fucking long for a nickname in English.

[59] revise. page 13

[60] This is an idiom from Journey to the West, referencing Sun Wukong and his shifu attaining enlightenment after...heading west.

[61] This is Half-step Peak, but I will refer to it as Banbu Peak from now on, since that is the way I’ve been translating all the Chinese names of things.

[62] 自作多情: its that one idiom that means ‘unreciprocated affection’, but it can also mean any unreciprocated emotion—be it forgiveness, happiness, etc.

[63] 啞穴: yaxue. the acupoint located at the base of your neck, underneath the back of your head.