Those years when I was Cannon fodder

She Wants to Live

"No, the prescription is right here," declared Third Madam, carefully producing a slightly yellowed piece of paper.

Chu Yu reached out to take it, but Third Madam pulled it back. "I couldn't give it to you initially. You're still young, and I thought I'd keep this prescription for myself. However, I can make a copy for you."

Chu Yu was speechless.

Observing Third Madam as she retrieved pen and paper to transcribe, Chu Yu leaned in and discovered that the characters were simplified Chinese, which she recognized. Relief washed over her.

But she found it peculiar. "Mother, Doctor Xu returned from the capital city. Why doesn't he use special fonts?"

"Oh, you mean those complex and hard-to-remember traditional characters? They are usually reserved for special occasions," explained Third Madam, her face lighting up with a fond reminiscence.

"When your father went to the capital city, he mentioned that the nobles there enjoyed using those intricate characters. He even wrote a love poem for me using those characters."

"I wanted to respond with a poem of my own, but alas, those characters were too challenging for me to learn."

"When I was your age, I attended a village private school for a few years and learned many simplified characters. However, when it came to those complex characters, I was completely gobsmacked."

Third Madam sighed. "So, you must study diligently. Not many people, like Mr. Mo, are proficient in complex characters. Your father paid a great price to acquire a skilled person as your teacher."

Chu Yu's mouth twitched. It seemed they were simply following a trend.

Her father was quite fashionable.

But it became a burden for her and her sisters. It seemed her elder sister and second sister would also have to learn this special font.

Chu Yu didn't even consider it traditional Chinese characters.

Traditional characters were much simpler than this. She remembered studying traditional characters and classical Chinese for a while to understand some original versions of traditional Chinese medicine.

She preferred to call this special font "Oracle Bone Script" or "Primitive Script." No matter how retro or ancient it appeared, she didn't care much for it.

Confirming that Third Madam's transcribed prescription was identical to the original, Chu Yu took it and excused herself. "Mother, I'll go to the study to study. I won't disturb you."

In the study, Chu Yu compared the prescription and confirmed that Third Madam's version was correct.

The additional medicinal ingredient was called Zijing.

It was an herb Chu Yu hadn't encountered in this lifetime.

The person who prepared the pills for her and examined her pulse was Doctor Xu.

If it were two different people, there might be a chance of a mix-up in the prescription.

However, Would Doctor Xu, a retired imperial physician from the capital city filled with intrigue, make such a mistake?

Unless someone informed him that Chu Yu's remaining poison had already been cleared.

She only needed some health-preserving medicine.

Perhaps he even specifically instructed not to change the medicine casually due to her delicate health, to avoid any conflicts. After removing Zijing, it was indeed a prescription that promoted health and strengthened the body.

But something felt off.

Chu Yu covered her face with her hands, her mind racing. Based on her understanding of traditional Chinese medicine, especially highly skilled senior doctors, they often tailored prescriptions to the patient's condition. Each prescription was unique, adjusting dosages by adding or reducing certain herbs after a thorough examination.

Let alone a crucial matter like removing a single herb.

Could Doctor Xu, a senior traditional Chinese medicine practitioner who managed to retire after working in the complex environment of the imperial palace, be so careless?

Chu Yu raised her head, her mouth slightly agape as if she wanted to speak, but no words escaped. If someone could see her eyes at that moment, they would be terrified by the madness and thirst for vengeance brewing within.

She seemed to realize this quickly and lowered her head again.

Silently, she curled up like a small animal.

This posture, though lacking a sense of security, can also be seen as a manifestation of constructing an absolute safe zone, self-centered and impenetrable.

Those who dare to breach it shall meet their demise!

At the same time, it reveals an attempt to restrain one's destructive power within certain limits.

Chu Yu is undoubtedly not an ordinary individual with sound mental health.

Certain issues, even after time travel, remain unchanged.

However, one thing has indeed undergone a transformation.

She no longer seeks death; she yearns to live!

Whoever wishes for her demise, let them perish instead!

She loved her mother and was willing to embrace the entire world that her mother cherished. This world is not the world her mother adored

Even when she stood on the brink of losing control, her sole choice was to meet her end on her own terms.

But here, there are no constraints that can confine her.

After a considerable span of time, when she lifted her head once again, her complexion had returned to normal, save for a faint tinge of regret lingering in her eyes.

Chu Yu truly is a pitiable figure.

She had anticipated that even if Nanny Xu or the Third Lady couldn't become her protectors - her scabbard, they would at least offer some solace, if only for a fleeting moment.

After all, throughout this life and the previous one, she possessed very few things to cherish.

Even a sliver of goodness had the power to ignite an infinite wellspring of strength and courage within her, forcefully subduing the demons that lurked in her heart.

But now, she harbored no trust in either of them.

She would gather sufficient evidence.

...

The following day, it seemed even the heavens were on her side.

Just as Chuyu finished her morning classes, she spotted Nanny Xu and Qingyu entering with various packages, both large and small.

"Nanny Xu, you're here," she greeted them with joy. "Let me help you carry those."

"Third Miss," Nanny Xu quickly evaded her, "There's no need for you to help. I can handle it."

"You sit over there first. I have something for you later."

Chuyu's heart stirred, and she almost immediately guessed what those packages contained.

Indeed, her supply of medicine was running low.

As expected, after Nanny Xu placed the items down, she handed Chuyu a box identical to the previous one.

"These are the pills for the next two weeks."

Chuyu maintained her composure and expressed gratitude in the usual manner.

"And here are some little trinkets I bought for you..." Nanny Xu continued, "Other children have them, so our little fish should have them too."

Chuyu listened to her explanation of how to play with the toys and silently accepted each item before saying, "Nanny Xu, I've been studying herbal medicine with my mother recently. Could you ask Dr. Xu for the prescription for making the pills? I have a reason to request it from Madam as well."

Nanny Xu was surprisingly forthright. "Don't worry, leave it to me. I'll get it from Dr. Xu tomorrow."

Chuyu shook her head. "There's no rush. Focus on your own tasks first. You can see Dr. Xu when you have some free time."

"I'll follow Little Fish's instructions."

After bidding farewell to Nanny Xu, Chuyu returned to the kitchen and found Qingyu working on some large bones.

Her eyes darkened slightly, but a smile appeared on her face. "Aunt Qing, is today's dinner going to be stewed bones?"

Qingyu wiped the sweat off her face and continued chopping the bones. "Yes, Lady saw that you enjoy drinking bone soup, so she specifically asked me to buy fresh ones from outside. They're all fresh. We've been stewing them all afternoon, and you'll have the soup tonight, along with your favorite lotus root."

"Really? Mother is so kind to me."

Chuyu smiled.