The Trick to Teasing a Noble Family’s Son

The group went on until midnight, when everyone started heading home. Wei Lan was a little tipsy, so Xie Jie and Lin Che offered to help him into the carriage. Xie Zichen stood there watching the crowd go wild before turning around and disappearing into the night.

     

When the surrounding area had quieted down, Wei Lan opened her eyes in the carriage.

How can these weak chickens compare to the alcohol capacity she has cultivated at the frontier? Her pretending to be drunk was just to give them some face[1] When she opened her eyes again, they were clear and bright.

She was, however, in a very good mood. Surrounded by so many beauties, she couldn’t help feeling euphoric today. So she reclined on the bench, looked at the bright moon that was fading behind the car curtain, closed her eyes and quietly listened to the night in Shengjing.

Dian Mo looked at her drunken and cosy appearance and asked seriously, “Miss, do you still remember that you are a woman?”

“I remember,” Wei Lan opened her eyes and smiled, “What? Do you think I’m in your way when I hug Xie Si[2]? “

“Miss! Do you fear death or not? What if he discovers you’re a woman while you’re holding him like this today? Dian Mo looked dejected, as if Wei Lan’s actions were dragging her toward the guillotine.

Wei Lan snickered and raised her hand to caress Dian Mo’s head, saying, “Little Mo, I’m going to teach you an important lesson: you have to get used to thinking the opposite way about everything.” (T/N: Reverse psychology?)

“Thinking the other way around?” Dian Mo froze, Wei Lan put his elbow behind his head and lazily said, “Thinking the other way around means that the more people who think you shouldn’t do something, the more you do it, and the more you come to believe it’s nothing.”

“You think I’m a woman and shouldn’t do this or that, so when I do, many people won’t think I’m a woman. Have you ever seen a man in this world who doesn’t hook up with someone? Have you ever seen a man who is celibate? ” (T/N: So WL wants to say that all men are lecherous, and that by acting in this manner, she will be less conspicuous as a woman.)

“I’ve seen it,” DIanMo nodded seriously, Wei Lan froze: “Who?”

 

“Xie, Fourth Young Master!” Dian Mo said to Xie Zichen and educated Wei Lan: “I don’t expect you to be more reserved, but could you, like Xie the Fourth Young Master, keep a little distance from these noble sons? Xie Fourth Young Master dislikes being close to others, let alone men; women are also three feet away from him! “

“It’s not the lord I chose!” When Wei Lan heard this, he clapped his hands and said admiringly, “That’s how clean he is! Away from mud and not stained! “

Dian Mo: “……”

It’s the first time I’ve seen someone try so hard to blacken themselves.

“Don’t worry,” Wei Lan looked at Dian Mo and finally got serious. Closing her eyes, she said, “I have a measure in my heart. I am aware of what you’re worried about, but your master is not so useless that you have to be worried. “

Wei Lan went back to sleep, and when he awoke the next day, he was a little dizzy. Wei Zhong rushed in, wiped his sweat, and said, “Sir, it’s not good…”

“What’s wrong?” Wei Lan washed up; she was rarely so undisciplined (daily routine), but she also felt extraordinarily at ease. At that moment, she couldn’t help but thank His Majesty for transferring her back from the border. At her age, as a son of a noble family, she could not be appointed to an official position in the military, and there was no job suitable for her who was a veteran of killing enemies at the border. Now her daily routine was no different from those dandy sons in the capital.

——If she didn’t talk about private property.

Wei Lan gargled a mouthful of tea while listening to Wei Zhong say, “Miss beat up the Sixth Young Master Xie!”

Wei Lan froze for a moment, then spat out the tea and straightened her dress calmly before turning and walking out, saying lightly, “Take me over to see.”

As soon as Wei Lan walked through the door, she noticed Xie Jie sitting in a chair, embarrassedly covering one eye. Wei Hua, on the other hand, turned away, sobbed, and wiped his tears with a small handkerchief.

Seeing Wei Lan walking in, Wei Hua threw himself into Wei Lan’s arms like a little butterfly, crying, “Brother, you are here! This douchebag! ” He raised his orchid finger, pointed at Xie Jie, and said, “He! Assault! Me!”

As soon as the words fell, Xie Jie immediately stood up and said anxiously, “This is a misunderstanding! Misunderstanding! “

Ah Lan, listen to my explanation! I just thought that this girl was you ……”

“Shut up! No sophistry! No excuses! Speak. Did you not grab my shoulders? You even tried to touch my boobs!

Hearing this, Wei Lan couldn’t help but drop her gaze to the two buns protruding from Wei Hua’s chest—they were real buns in there, she knew that very well.

Xie Jie was a little anxious, and he couldn’t explain why his first thought when he saw female Wei Lan was actually …… this breast must be fake,and without thinking he extended his hand to test it out. The result, this female Wei Lan… no, Wei Lan’s twin sister, Wei Hua, was so powerful that she punched him in the face and kicked him two metres away.

The son of a general will definitely be a tiger[3], but even the women of a General’s household could not be underestimated.’Xie Jie has learned his lesson.’

Xie Jie looked resentfully at Wei Hua, who was dropping teardrops like pearls. Wei Lan was aware of his brother’s abilities and was not concerned about him suffering a loss. Furthermore, they were all men, so what was there to lose? (T/N: Man this pair of sibling are just next level)

She gave an uninterested smile, ordered the servants to remove Wei Hua, and cupped her hands: “Let Ah Jie see a joke. My younger sister has been spoiled since she was a child and is somewhat indiscriminate; I hope Ah Jie doesn’t take it personally. “

Hearing this, Xie Jie breathed a sigh of relief. He was the one who was in the wrong, so he naturally didn’t dare to say anything more and said, “It’s my fault. I was a bit reckless and scared your sister. As an apology, I will have someone bring a gift tomorrow.

“You and I are brothers,” Wei Lan smiled and poured tea for Xie Jie, dropping his eyes and saying, “There’s no need for such courtesy.”

Xie Jie smiled, “I know that Ah Lan is not so stingy. I came here today because I wanted to take Ah Lan to see something good. “

“What  good thing?” Wei Lan raised his eyebrows slightly, Xie Jie said, “Come with me.”

Xie Jie was mysterious, but Wei Lan had nothing to be afraid of. After following him all the way to the suburbs and entering a small courtyard, Wei Lan couldn’t help but raise her eyebrows.

The courtyard is packed with men of various styles and appearances. When these men saw Wei Lan and Xie Jie enter, they stepped forward to greet him and said, “Greetings, my lord.” [4]

Wei Lan looked at the men. Xie Jie coughed and said, “Would Ah Lan prefer to sit in the house or in the courtyard?”

Wei Lan’s face remained unchanged, and she smiled and said, “It’s best to sit in the room until the spring chill has passed. Wouldn’t it be heartbreaking to see these beauties frozen? “

Hearing this, the men present couldn’t help but look up and see a beautiful young man dressed in a jade-colored fancy dress standing on the promenade, and they couldn’t help but lower their heads to cover their heartbeats.

When Xie Jie looked at Wei Lan’s calm and collected expression, he became increasingly convinced that Wei Lan must have been in and out of this type of place frequently. So he looked into the eyes of Xie Zichen…

   Certainly not his delusion.

Xie Jie smiled and led Wei Lan into the room. The two knelt at the table. A thin middle-aged man walked in, followed by a group of men, and they knelt on the ground. [5]https://qr.ae/pvqXBZ

These people have clearly been trained in their manners, and they are physically weaker than ordinary men. Xie Jie raised his hand and extended an invitation to Wei Lan, saying, “Ah Lan picks first.”

Wei Lan took a sip of his wine and said lightly, “The gentleman came forward.” [6]) [7]

The people in the room exchanged glances before a few of them all came forward. Wei Lan had a brief thought that this must be a place for men to have fun in this world, so she added, “The front and back, which have not been touched, come forward.” [8]

T/N: I am so sorry for not posting anything this week. Believe me when I say my hands are about to shed a layer of skin with how much they’re being abused. Finding time to translate is a huge challenge these days. Hopefully, I will be able to get back to my normal routine soon. This is going to be the only chapter this week. I’ll definitely make up for it in the upcoming weeks. I don’t know if there’s anyone out there who’s really waiting for the updates, but if you are, please know that hearing from you would make all this hard work worthwhile. I hardly get any comments, so as a new translator I often wonder if I have been making any progress or if I am doing a good job. I would be grateful if my readers could give me suggestions on how to improve my work and point out any mistakes that I’ve been making. Honestly, it’s not criticism that scares me, but lack of progress.

Back to the story, XZ failed to make an appearance today. However, WH came to make up for it. I just cannot imagine anyone stuffing steamed buns up their chest all the time. Explaining all that Yaoi stuff was rather awkward. I wonder if leaving them unexplained would’ve been better. Whatever! I am gonna move them to footnotes now.

 

References↑1The Chinese concept of “face” (aka 面子 or miànzi) refers to a cultural understanding of respect, honour and social standing. Actions or words that are disrespectful may cause somebody to “lose face”, while gifts, awards, and other respect-giving actions may “give face”.↑2Si= Fourth↑3“虎父无犬子” means “a tiger father will not beget a dog son”↑4T/N: Gay brothel↑5https://qr.ae/pvqXBZ↑6Possible alternate translation for the word ‘gentlemen’ – 清倌人 :Ching Kui, formerly known as the prostitutes, has not yet picked-up. (A prostitute who’s still chaste↑7T/N: He’s asking for virgins to step forward.↑8T/N: She just realised that only saving their cherry was their criteria for being chaste, so she also asked to exclude those who’d acted as Gong/top besides those who had served as Shou/bottom