The Trick to Teasing a Noble Family’s Son

When Wei Lan galloped back to the Marquis of Changxin Mansion, everyone was already waiting at the door.

As soon as he entered the door, a pink figure pounced on him, with a beautiful face crying like raindrops on a pear blossom[1]

, leaning on him and saying, “Hey, hey…Ah Lan, you are finally back, Xiong’er is dying…”

This was an extremely tall beauty with a slender body frame and a face almost identical to Wei Lan’s, except that her eyebrows were more beautiful and feminine, making her look extraordinarily pitiable. She was even an inch taller than Wei Lan, but her aura was so soft and pitiful that she didn’t even feel weird as if it was natural to be held by Wei Lan like this. (T/N: His mom?)

“Don’t panic.” Wei Lan smiled gently and patted the beauty in his arms, his tone calm and breezy, “I’m here for everything, let’s go in first.”

“Woo Woo…..” the beauty continued to cry, Wei Lan had quite a bit of a headache and asked the wet nurse to come and pull the beauty away from her, before heading into the courtyard.

As soon as he arrived, the panicked group of people seemed to have found their backbone, the butler Wei Zhong came forward and reported the situation, Wei Lan was not slow on his feet but walked steadily and calmly. Listening to Wei Zhong’s words, his face remained unchanged as he nodded his head.

It turned out that his youngest brother Wei Xiong and Xie family’s youngest son Xie Bing fought, the two bear children[2]

fought without restraint and fell into the water together,

Xie Bing knows swimming so he had no problem, but the dry duck[3] Wei Xiong drank a few mouthfuls of water before being rescued.

He developed a high fever and the doctor said he was in critical condition. Old Lady Wei who treated him as her eyeball fainted on hearing the doctor’s words and is yet to regain consciousness.

The Marquis of Changxin’s house was already sparsely populated, the Marchioness died early, and the Marquis was stationed far away at the border.

Just an old lady in charge, with three kids. The old lady had fainted, Wei Lan was in the military camp on the outskirts of the capital, and the crybaby first lady, Wei Hua, was left alone in the chaotic mansion. Fortunately, Wei Lan had returned in time, and Wei Zhong was relieved. (T/N: not mom but sister? OK.)

Walking into the chamber, the maid on the floor was crying. Wei Xiong’s wet nurse Mrs Zhang was sitting on the side, wiping Wei Xiong’s body with a cold handkerchief. Wei Lan was annoyed at the sight of a woman crying and frowned, after walking to Wei Xiong’s side, he asked Wei Zhong next to him, “Has a doctor been called?”

“Invited.” Wei Zhong said, “The attending doctor from the Myriad Medical Hall was invited.”

“Go and invite Imperial Physician Zhang over.” Wei Lan said directly: “Take the ink painting of Lay Kong Shan (Empty Mountain Master) from the warehouse and send it over.”

“Yes, yes.” Wei Zhong nodded hurriedly and ordered his subordinates to prepare the gift box, wondering in his heart how his family’s Shizi even knew the preferences of an Imperial Doctor so well.

“Also, has the Xie family sent anyone over yet?”

“The Xie family?” Wei Zhong froze, Wei Lan frowned, seemingly wanting to say something, however, seeing Wei Zhong’s face, his eyes changed for a moment before he sighed quietly and said, “Forget it, you prepare a gift now and bring it back to the Xie Mansion, saying that this is our Changxin Hou Mansion’s apology.”

“Shizi,” Wei Zhong’s expression on his face changed and he said with some confusion, “This time it is clear that our young master has suffered a loss, why do you still want to go and make amends to the Xie family?”

“Just do it.” Wei Lan sat beside Wei Xiong’s bed, and Mrs Zhang hurriedly got up and moved away. Although Wei Zhong was holding his breath, his master’s words did not allow him to question anything, so he could only go and do it himself.

After Wei Zhong left, Wei Lan probed Wei Xiong’s body temperature, which was scorching hot.

“Go and fetch ice from the ice room, put it in the basin, keep wiping him and feed him more water. And you all,” he turned his head to look at the maids who were still crying on the floor and said lightly, “Stop crying, all of you, as women, all you know is to cry whenever something happens, how unsightly!”

Everyone was stunned for a moment. After a while, Mrs Zhang hurriedly knelt and speculated smartly: “Yes, shizi taught me a lesson. As a maid of the Marquis of Changxin, naturally, you have to be stable!”

Zhang’s words made everyone finally understand Wei Lan’s words, and they all kowtowed and said yes. Wei Lan didn’t speak, nodded and said, “I’ll go see grandma.”

With that said, he got up and went to the backyard.

When she arrived at the backyard, Old Lady Wei had already woken up and was leaning on her reclining couch to drink her medicine. Hearing the subordinate’s announcement, she saw Wei Lan walking over from a distance.

Wei Hua was the first beauty in Shengjing, and Wei Lan, who was identical to Wei Hua, was naturally also extremely beautiful. The skin is like porcelain, in the sunlight like white snow, eyebrows beautiful and elegant, the body is straight and slender, thin shoulders and slender waist – a little thinner for men, although it seems thin and weak, she behaves magnanimously, she walks with the unique style and nobility of a noble family, the romantic and luxurious demeanour doesn’t make him look weak, but like a noble gentleman, clear and elegant.

He walked to Old Lady Wei, bowed dignified, and then said, “Is grandma feeling better?”

“Lan’er,” Old Lady Wei looked at him with a complicated expression, seemingly remembering something: “You’re …… fifteen this year, right?

“The birthday passed last month,” replied Wei Lan with a nod and a smile, and Old Lady Wei held her tongue again and again before finally saying with her atendant, “Mother Xu, go down first, and let Lan’er feed me.”

Mother Xu, who was feeding Old Lady Wei’s medicine retreated in response and handed the medicine bowl to Wei Lan. Wei Lan guessed what Old Lady Wei was going to say, but did not stop her, let everyone retreat and then sat beside Old Lady Wei, respectfully feeding her medicine.

Seeing him so generous and calm, Old Lady Wei couldn’t help sighing, and finally said, “If only your brother could be half as good as you, that would be so great! Lan’er, you can’t be like this for the rest of your life, can you?”

“Don’t worry, grandma,” Wei Lan’s expression didn’t change after hearing those words, “When I stabilize the marquis and pave the way for my brother’s future, I will naturally switch back with him.”

“But you’re already fifteen,” Old Lady Wei was a bit anxious, “Which of the fifteen-year-old girls in ordinary families are not engaged or married directly? If you stay up a bit longer, you’ll be an old girl by the time the marriage is discussed, so how can you still find a good marriage?”

When she heard these words, Wei Lan did not say anything and calmly fed the medicine to Old Lady Wei. Seeing her unhurried look, Old Lady Wei grabbed her hand and said, “Lan’er, tell me the truth, is there someone you like but can’t marry?”

What daughter would not be in a hurry to get married by this time otherwise?

Hearing Old Lady Wei’s words, Wei Lan could neither cry nor laugh, and after feeding the last mouthful of medicine, she comforted, “Grandma, it’s not that I don’t want to marry someone, it’s just that the situation doesn’t allow it. I thought I had made it clear enough to you before, look at this Marquis Chang Xin’s residence ……”

Wei Lan pointed outside and said seriously: ”It seems to be peaceful and prosperous, but in reality, it has long been exhausted. Back then, because of you, the eldest uncle and second uncle’s mother died early of illness, although it was not your intention, but for the eldest uncle and second uncle, this is your fault, they will naturally blame it on your head in their mind.

They are now His Majesty’s favourites, and the eldest uncle is the fourth-ranking prime minister’s chief historian, while the second uncle is the sixth-ranking head of the Warehouse Department. If it were not for the fact that father is still of some use to His Majesty, do you think that the position of Marquis of Changxin would still be father’s today?”

The status of marquis’s  is a deceptive illusion, if the emperor is willing, the marquis, this position can hold the military power; and if the emperor is not willing, the marquis’s position is just an empty position that receives a salary. However, what the position represents is also the hereditary status and the wealth accumulated by the marquis’ over the generations. Behind all the status and money, are nasty stories that are better left untold.

Listening to Wei Lan’s words, Old Lady Wei’s face turned pale. It wasn’t that she didn’t feel guilty about Mrs Xu’s death back then.

Old Lady Wei came from the famous Lin family, and before she married into the house, Mrs Xu was already the concubine of the Old Lord Wei.

Mrs Xu and the Old Lord Wei had grown up as childhood sweethearts, but because of her low status, she couldn’t be raised to the main wife position. Back then the Old Lord Wei had also promised her that he would not marry again in this life.

But later on, due to family considerations, the Old Lord Wei was forced to marry Old Lady Wei. She had only heard about the existance of a concubine called Mrs Xu and knew nothing else about her,

However, on the day Old Lady Wei married, Mrs Xu hanged herself in her room.

For this reason, she had fasted and chanted Buddhism all her life and was extraordinarily generous to Wei Yan and Wei Kai, but these two children’s hatred could never be put aside,. They stubbornly believed that it was Old Lady Wei who had killed their mother, and even more so, feeling that Wei Shao had taken away their Di son’s position.

“If it weren’t for the fact that father is good at leading troops into battle, and that His Majesty, though displeased, is still unwilling to bury talent, do you think that the position of Marquis would still be fathers? Father has the talent of a general, but what about brother?”

The tone of Wei Lan’s voice had been calm, relaxed and indifferent, but listening to her, Old Lady Wei broke into a cold sweat, mentioning Wei Hua, made her even more poignant, looking at the flat expression of the person in front of her, listening to her say: “Brother has loved dressing up as a woman since he was young, acting like a woman, you let such a brother support the marquis, isn’t it letting him go to his death? Even if the eldest uncle and second uncle don’t do anything, the imperial censor’s impeachment is enough to drown the brother. Moreover, facing the revenge of killing his mother, do you think they will let brother go?” (T/N:???? are you serious??)

“Grandma,” Wei Lan put the bowl on the table, with the sound of that porcelain touching the wooden table, Wei Lan’s voice also sounded faint, “Blood debts are always paid for in blood, only if you live can you think about marriage, marry or not, we can still have future glory and wealth with a century-old foundation. ”

“The battlefield is merciless, father is now forty years old, and has suffered countless injuries of all sizes over the past few decades, if it wasn’t for holding up the family, he would have transferred back to recuperate long ago. But he still has to hold on today because the Marquis of Changxin has no one who can hold it up except him.

Now if the father collapses, everyone will collapse. So, grandmother,” Wei Lan reached out to hold Old Lady Wei’s hand and said earnestly, “You give me some time to hand over a solid Marquis Changxin’s Mansion to my brother.”

But…but…” Madam Wei’s eyes were full of grievances: “You are a girl after all!”

Hearing these words, Wei Lan laughed aloud, her voice like two pieces of jade striking against each other, carrying a magnanimity that was hard to find in ordinary girls: “It is precisely women that must have the ambition to rise to the clouds, to step on the ladder of green clouds, to establish their lives and leave their names in history.”(T/N: True but i don’t know what green clouds are

Mrs Wei looked at Wei Lan in surprise. Wei Lan seemed to know that Mrs Wei didn’t understand her words, so she didn’t explain much, she stood up with a smile and said, “Don’t worry, grandma, everything will be fine in a few years. The matter of marriage, I will solve it myself.”

” Old Lady Wei did not say anything, she had always known that this granddaughter of hers was never something she could control. She remembered that when Wei Lan was young, she was still soft and squeamish, and with Wei Hua, they were just like two crybabies. But she couldn’t remember when it started, she slowly grew up.

She stopped crying, began to study hard, even practiced martial arts in the garden, and was extremely self-disciplined, no matter the cold winter months, the sweltering heat or the cold autumns. By the age of twelve, she was already able to write parallel essays and strategies that wowed the gentlemen in the Imperial Academy, winning over the generals in her house who had retired from the frontier.

At that time, she said with the old lady Wei that she wanted to replace her brother to go to the Imperial College, and she even came up with a complete disguise scheme, from twelve to thirty, how to cover up, how to act, and how to push her out to defend the family without …… being implicated after being detected. The thoughts were so clear that they did not resemble a twelve-year-old child.

She resolutely rejected Wei Lan at the time. Wei Lan pretended to compromise and ended up running away alone in the middle of the night. She left a note, asking her not to publicize her disappearance, and later saying that Wei Hua was her sister.

The old lady Wei was furious at that time, but considering her reputation as a female, she did not make a sound and sent people to chase her, but there was no news.

After two years of disappearance, when the old lady Wei thought that her granddaughter would never come back, she suddenly heard the news that the eldest son of the Marquis of Changxin, Wei Lan, had assassinated General Di Jie and won the first class military merit, and was personally commended by His Majesty.

When the imperial decree came down, Mrs Wei was so angry that she saw darkness in her eyes.

Where did the eldest son, Wei Lan, come from in the Marquis of Changxin Mansion? There’s only one first lady, Wei Lan! The Marquis of Changxin’s sons are Wei Hua and Wei Xiong, but Wei Lan disguised herself as a man and joined the army, but she won’t even change her name!

The old lady Wei had to change her name in the genealogy overnight, exchanging the identities of Wei Lan and Wei Hua, and then privately told the clan elders that they had made a mistake in their names back then., and originally thought it was not a big deal, but now the holy decree came down and it had to be changed.

And then, after accepting everyone’s congratulations with trepidation, he explained this reason to all those who were familiar. The good thing is that in the capital for so many years, the old lady Wei had rarely socialized with others, Wei Hua and Wei Lan look the same, especially as a child, it is not distinguishable, and everyone also accepted the old lady Wei’s words.

But once she thought of Wei Lan’s temperament which was more manly than his brother, and Wei Hua’s appearance which was even more delicate than her sister’s, Old Lady Wei felt, her heart was stuffed, her heart was blocked! She wanted to stuff both of them back into their mother’s womb, switch their genders and give birth again!

(T/N: Hi, this is Dizaster. A new MTL translator. Hope you enjoyed my first attempt at translation. I have tried my best but i know that there are still many places where my story telling abilities are lacking. I am working on improving on my mistakes and hopefully by the end of this series I would be able to work on the translations more efficiently. Any suggestions/ constructive criticisms/opinions are welcomed whole-heatedly.

Back to the story, Wei Hua’s identity was a complete shock to me, I never imagined her to be a boy. I haven’t read the series and am reading as i translate so i can enjoy it  with my readers. I picked this series based on the great reviews it had on NU. I hope this would be worth the effort.

I feel sorry for grandma. Poor lady was dumped with the charge of murder on the very day she married, had to look after two step sons who hated her and now have to deal with this huge mess of a household. It’s so sad that people criticize the second wife but never blame the men for having more women. Why promise when you can’t deliver.

P.S: Please tell me if my T/N notes are annoying and need to be stopped)

References↑1

Chinese idiom: 梨花带雨 (梨花帶雨)

a beautiful crying face

↑2

A “bear child” is a common Chinese slang phrase meaning a child who is spoilt and borderline feral

↑3旱鸭子 or dry duck refers to those who cannot swim