The Story You Don't Know

"You're so funny, Avery. It's so cute when you're mad." Condescending laughter.

I gritted my teeth and tried to give them the cold shoulder. My head hurt. I didn't know if it was from sleep deprivation, the heat, or all the teasing I'd had to put up with. The school jacket I'd forced myself to wear in a bid to hide the fresh cuts on my arm wasn't helping with the heat. It just wasn't my day. I glanced at the clock and turned back to my work. Five minutes to my escape.

"Hey, it's rude to ignore someone who's talking to you." I felt a shove on my shoulder. I instinctively pushed back with my elbow, turning to glare at my- ..friend.

"Cut it out," I snapped. "I need to finish this off. I don't want to deal with more homework at home."

"Someone's mad," Amelia smirked. "Why are you in such a bad mood today?"

Look in the mirror, maybe it's you. Maybe it's how you tried to trail me at lunch, pestering where I'd gone off to. How you wouldn't get off my back with all the insults and making fun of my name after getting frustrated at not being able to get your way. How you're all supposed to be my best friends, the people closest to me who I can confide in, cry to, and know me best, and yet, your words hurt me more than my cuts ever will.

I swallowed all the words I didn't say and ignored her. I finished up my last sentence and walked over to Brooke's table. "Hey." She looked up from where she'd been packing up her things.

"Did you wanna grab something from the school cafeteria after this?" I asked. "I'm a little hungry." It was a half-truth. I was craving the cafeteria's potato wedges, but I also felt like deep-talking, without Amelia around. Although she tended to laugh along with whatever Rachel and mostly Amelia did, when we were alone, I felt that she was quiet, serious and more genuine.

Brooke shrugged. "Sure."

Just as I turned to walk back to my desk and pack up, a snide comment rang in my ear. "Always snacking. This is why you have thunder t.h.i.g.hs."

"Look in the mirror, Amelia." I walked off. In the background, the school bell rang, signalling the end of today's hell. The teacher walked out and murmurs rose into loud chatter.

I still heard her, despite the noise. "What did you say?" The menace in her voice was apparent.

"Nothing," I sighed.

I didn't see it coming. She poked me in the ribs, hard. I turned around to retaliate, but she caught my arm. She was bigger, stronger than me. "You think you can hurt me?"

I struggled to free myself and she kicked me in the process. It was going to bruise. "You poked me first," I glowered, feeling anger rise up in me at this injustice. I swallowed it, and yanked myself free of her grip and tried to calm down. A sharp stinging pain reminded me of the unsaid things I'd done to myself the night before. I felt unstable, volatile. I didn't want to push things further.

"You know what, let's call truce. I'm not in the mood for this," I told her. "You're forgiven, just this once."

"Aww that's so nice of you," she simpered. Then her tone took a 180 degree change as she blocked my path. "Wanna know something? You're too nice. That's why we can tease you so much everyday, knowing that even if you get mad, you'll come crawling back to us like a dog, every time, because you have no one else."

I didn't know what hurt more, the way she so casually likened me to an animal, or the stinging fact that there was truth in her words. Had I been to nice, too forgiving, too accommodating?

Crawling back to us like a dog.

Crawling back.

Like a dog.

Dog.

The words echoed in my head, and suddenly, I saw red. Who did she think she was, belittling me everyday? Who did she think she was, taking everything from me?

Something bubbled up inside me, molten lava. Time seemed to slow. I felt a sense of deja vu as I spit out the words she'd just said to me earlier. "What. Did. You. Say?"

My hands reached out for the metal ruler I was about to pack. My feet took a step towards her. There was something burning inside me, I couldn't, no, didn't want to control it as I felt my eyes flash, felt my hands sweep everything off her table with force I didn't know I had.

I saw her step back, a sudden uncertainty and nervousness. In that moment, she was a deer caught in the headlights of a speeding truck. The tables had turned. She was prey.

Aim for the neck, a little voice in my head whispered. The carotid arteries. It's sharp and hard enough to bury deep inside. End her, it hissed.

This blow could change my life. I'd lose everything and gain everything.

My arm lifted up, preparing to strike.

"Avery!" a familiar voice rang out.

Hands caught my arm, pulled me back. I felt the ruler pried out of my hand "Stop, Avery! What do you think you're doing?"

I snapped back into reality. Blinked twice. And then my heart sank.

"I- Isabelle?" I stammered.