The Retirement Life of a Runaway Desperado

On Wednesday, Lynn went to Arthur’s house to pick up Chrissie again just as Arthur was cooking dinner. 

So of course, Krystyn passionately invited him to dinner. Since then, Lynn had been having at least three meals a week at Arthur’s house.

He also brought back some snacks—Krystyn said her father would make them again and she didn’t mind sharing them with friends—which enriched the food life of his family for a while.

He brought biscuits to the office, but they were quickly gobbled up by his subordinates. Life in the small town was full of trust. They seemed to have no idea that they could not just take food from other people’s tables.

“This tastes great. Where did you buy these from?” Donald asked. “I’d like to go buy some too.” 

“Someone made it,” Lynn said, looking at the bag left with scraps, trying to find some larger pieces.

“Oh…” Donald said, “Can we look forward to your falling in love for the second time? Many women in this town are good cooks and especially like to send food to single men. But the one who made this!” He pointed to the bag of cookies for emphasis. “Even if she was 70 and had rheumatic pain, I’d still marry her!”

Lynn hated this kind of gossip because he could foresee that in a day’s time, everyone in the town would begin to ask him whose wife he was having an affair with.

He decided to put an end to the rising rumors immediately and said, “It was Mr. Arthur who made it.”

Donald froze in place.

Lynn said, “He made it for Krystyn. You know, Chrissie and the kid are on very good terms, so I just took a little bit while I was there. He won’t be free to make it for me every day, so you should save some food!”

Donald left with an expression of not knowing how to react after watching an absurd drama. Lynn looked at the bag of scraps in his hand and felt a sense of mourning.

When he went to Arthur’s house again to get some biscuits, Arthur’s expression did not look really good. But he always wore an ugly expression on his face, so Lynn firmly ignored him. He was a policeman, and he was good at ignoring people’s ugly faces and getting what he wanted. 

One night, a week later, he went to pick up Chrissie—and to get some food in passing—and saw that the two kids hadn’t finished their homework. Arthur poured him a cup of tea and said, “You haven’t shaved in a week, Officer Lynn.”

Lynn touched his scruff guiltily. He couldn’t remember the last time he shaved. “I didn’t remember…”

“Now that I’ve said that, I’d like to suggest that you at least brush your hair and change your shirt when you go out,” Arthur said.

“I like this shirt.” 

“It’s a nightmare.”

“I like it,” Lynn said, “You can’t attack other people’s shirts like that. What if it’s a gift from my wife?”

“This style was made a year ago. I don’t know why you thought you could fool me using the style and year of the clothes,” Arthur said.

“Maybe this is from my daughter?” Lynn said. 

“She said no,” Arthur said, “Get rid of this awful piece of clothing. It’s lowering the aesthetic of my house.”

“You have no right to interfere with what I wear.”

“I don’t care if you stay away from my house beyond a 500 meter radius,” Arthur said, “I’m sorry, but I really hope you’ll think about at least cutting the label from the cleaners.”

“‘The label from the cleaners’?” Lynn said, looking down guiltily. 

Arthur helped him turn up the hem of his shirt, and there was a small strip of cloth sewn inside with letters and a time written on it, something Lynn had never known existed on clothes. Obviously it was used by the cleaners to distinguish the identity of the customer.

He tried to tear the strip off, but it was so tightly sewn that Arthur had to quickly bring him a pair of scissors.

“It was a good opportunity to get rid of it when it was dirty, but you still took it to the cleaners,” he said.

Lynn finally got rid of the cloth strip, and Arthur threw it into the trash can with an expression of “finally got rid of this stupid mistake”. 

After Chrissie’s homework was done, Lynn led her out of Arthur’s house.

On his second visit, he shaved first and combed his hair a little more neatly. He even avoided wearing that specific shirt that Arthur hated.

He didn’t know why he was acting out of character.

“Good afternoon, Officer Lynn,” Arthur said, with a rare smile on his face. 

Lynn looked suspiciously at two unopened shirts in the living room. Arthur said, “I have some clothes for you.”

“I don’t need clothes.”

“Please don’t think I really like buying clothes for you, Officer. It’s just that, you eat here half the week now, and if I want to keep the aesthetic of my house intact, I have to take you into account.”

“Are you really that bored?” Lynn said. 

We’re sorry for MTLers or people who like using reading mode, but our translations keep getting stolen by aggregators so we’re going to bring back the copy protection. If you need to MTL please retype the gibberish parts.

“You can see right through me at a glance. I even want to cut out some clothing for that mole in my yard,” Arthur said, “Take those clothes away with you or get out of my house!”

Ktf bnfc lc atf xlamtfc vlcufv, wfibvlber fcbeut atja la kjr jiwbra tfjgaygfjxlcu.

Cgateg rjlv, “Ycf wbwfca, qifjrf,” yfobgf ublcu lcab atf xlamtfc. Pc j rtbga ktlif, atf rwfii ogbw atf xlamtfc kjr rb ragbcu atja fnfc qfbqif klat atf ragbcufra kliiqbkfg kbeiv ub ilwq, ifa jibcf atbrf ktb tjv fjafc cbatlcu yea j uijrr bo wlix lc atf wbgclcu jcv akb ylrmelar obg iecmt.

“Okay, I’ll take these,” Lynn said hatefully. 

“I knew you were a considerate person, Officer Lynn.”

And so, Lynn’s life began to be filled with traces of Arthur.

His clothes, razor, aftershave, shampoo, and food. They took turns to pick up the children. Arthur was responsible for cooking, Lynn was for washing the dishes.

By the way, Arthur had good taste in clothes and the clothes he chose fit Lynn well. After several people complimented his attire, Lynn finally began to have some concept of what clothes he should buy. 

He modestly credited it to Arthur, and those who heard him say so looked as if they had seen a flying saucer landing.

The two families spent Christmas together.

Arthur cooked a table of food and looked like he was filled with a sense of achievement. He never ate much, and sometimes he ate as little as a lady on a diet.

Arthur was tall, but very thin. Although his face was pale and a bit impatient, he did not appear sickly. One time Lynn couldn’t help but ask if he needed to eat more, but that seemed to be a superfluous concern. Arthur was always full of energy, as if there was some kind of fire burning inside his body that made him not need the support of the mortal world. 

In fact, Lynn had received several Christmas invitations before. He was sure Arthur had received many too, but he had turned them down. In theory… of course they were still enemies, but spending time with Arthur was real and relaxing that he had with no one else.

And even a few days ago, the only way he could think of spending Christmas was to stay with Arthur and the two kids and have a quiet meal.

During the meal, Lynn received a call from the police station about a recent burglary. He responded, “Okay, take notes on the new parts she remembered and we’ll look into it.”

He hung up the phone, and Arthur, who was eating next to him, asked, “The burglary at Mrs. Carlyle’s house?” 

“How do you know?”

“Everyone in the town knows it.”

Lynn sighed. Mrs. Carlyle lived alone in an old house in town. Yesterday afternoon, there had been a burglary at her house, and the living room had been turned upside down. The burglar had probably thought that Mrs. Carlyle wasn’t in her room—because she was usually at her gardening class at that time—but in reality, she had a cold and had been napping in her bedroom.

When she woke up in the afternoon, she found the house in disarray and called the police. At the same time, she also told everyone in town about it, not caring if they were 80 to 8 years old. 

“Yes, she went to the station because she remembered something new that was missing,” Lynn said.

“The pendant clasp her lover gave her when she was 17? The one with her pocket photo in it?”

Lynn stared at him. “I just got a phone call, how do you know?”

“She said this to the people in the supermarket in the morning,” said Arthur, “Now half the town knows it. You’re a little late, Officer.” 

Lynn laughed, and Arthur looked down, smiling.

“She loves it,” Arthur said.

“She loves it to death,” Lynn said.

“I don’t understand what the thief was thinking,” he continued, “He took a bunch of inexplicable things like broken watches, worthless necklace pendants, desk lamps, teacups, boxes of biscuits. He broke the TV, but took the remote control. He also took a bunch of antiques he’ll never figure out.” 

“He broke the TV and took the remote control?” Arthur said.

“I don’t understand how his logic works,” Lynn said.

“Maybe he didn’t want to take the TV with him at all, because it was too heavy to carry. Look at the pile of few things he stole, all of them can be carried away in a travel bag.”

“Do you mean that the things he stole were actually a smokescreen and had nothing to do with money?” Lynn said, “Did he have other purposes?” 

“It’s always about the money,” Arthur said, “just not Mrs. Carlyle’s pile of crap. Otherwise the theft wouldn’t make sense.”

Other people would probably say that some things in this world just didn’t make sense. But Lynn, who was a police officer, thought that everything in the world could make sense if one looked into it deeply enough.

“What do you think he actually wants?” he asked.

“I guess the remote control,” Lynn said. 

“Why?”

“It’s perfect timing.”

Lynn thought for a moment. “Oh my God.”

Arthur nodded in agreement. “This world is really dangerous.” 

Krystyn, who had been too busy dividing the pudding with Chrissie to pay attention to them, asked, “What are you two talking about?”

Lynn was busy flipping through his cell phone when he heard this and said, “I’m afraid this case is bigger than it looks, honey.”

“I mean, what are you two talking about?” Krystyn repeated. “I didn’t even hear a word of explanation.”

“The burglar knew Mrs. Carlyle was home,” Arthur said, “otherwise he wouldn’t have looked for whatever he was looking for only in the living room, because everything of value is normally kept in the bedroom or study. He obviously had a clear purpose. He only wanted to find something that was in the living room. He stole a bunch of useless stuff because he didn’t want others to find out what it was.” 

“I know, you said a smokescreen,” Krystyn said, “What do you mean by perfect timing?”

“If he had visited two days late, or one day early, Mrs. Carlyle wouldn’t have been home,” Arthur said, “There must be a reason why he had to go yesterday.”

“That’s true. If you do some homework, you’ll know Mrs. Carlyle’s whole itinerary for the day,” Krystyn said, “She has a gardening class every afternoon, and was home all day this week with the flu.”

“Three days ago, Mrs. Carlyle had the remote control on her television set repaired. They replaced it with a new imported product, and she complained for a very long time that the quality of things these days aren’t as good as it was when she had been 18,” Arthur said. 

“You know, the diamond smuggling case that has been making a lot of noise recently,” Lynn said.

“Yeah, the Cyber City case,” Krystyn said.

“Smuggling is a continuous and cooperative criminal process,” Arthur said, “Someone buys, someone sells, and someone provides the channel. Appliance repair is a channel of distribution that is heavily regulated in Cyber City, but the customs here are much more relaxed. The repair shop Mrs. Carlyle went to has its business’ headquarters in Cyber City, and from what I heard on the news, the police are aware of them.”

“My God, how did you two even relate that to this?” Krystyn said, “And how could you have noticed? It’s just a news story. That’s too complicated.” 

“Obviously, we all have too much free time and are bored,” Arthur said.

Lynn was busy calling the police station to arrest someone from the electronics store before he fled town. Already left? Then go after him now.

“It doesn’t matter if you’re slow,” Arthur said as he poured himself half a cup of a drink, “Maybe you’ll catch a contact too.”

“We’ll still find out if we catch him and ask him,” Lynn said. 

“Then why did he have to steal the diamonds yesterday?” Krystyn said, “It would have been the same two or three days later.”

“You really don’t understand the cruelty of the criminal world,” Arthur said, “People will do terrible things for money.”

Krystyn rolled her eyes and said, “According to me, he would have been fine if he had just stolen the remote control. No one will mind losing a remote control. Why make such a big spectacle?”

Lynn laughed. “I think he had thought about doing that, but I bet Mrs. Carlyle would have definitely called the police even if she lost just a remote. She has labels on everything. We have a stack of her reports of missing herbicides, windbreakers or whatever. It’s really a nightmare that the diamond fell into her hands.” 

“But would the police department want to pay attention to a missing remote control?” Krystyn asked.

“Apparently, they thought Officer Lynn would notice. After all, the monitoring in Cyber City is tight right now,” Arthur said, “and he’s a big-city crime buster, not an ordinary person who is used to being idle in a small town. Having such a police officer is very beneficial to the public order in our town.”

“Oh please, we have to pay attention,” Lynn said, “The last time she lost a garden shovel, she still talked about it a year later. Donald finally had to buy one himself to compensate her.”

“The diamond smuggling case, she must love it,” said Arthur. 

“It’s like a second wedding,” Lynn said, “I can’t believe you guessed the diamond, Arthur. It’s a shame you’re not a policeman, but it’s also a shame you’re not a chef… What the hell is someone like you doing in a place like this?”

“Having a life,” Arthur said as he ate the food on the plate.

Lynn remembered Chrissie’s comment about Arthur being bored here, and yes, he was more than wasting his talents here. It was like shoving a whale into a lady’s purse.

“I still think you guys are thinking too much outside the box,” Krystyn said. 

“Not that much. I always thought that the owner of the repair shop was abnormal. How could anyone who repairs electrical appliances wear a Rolex?” Lynn said.

“Yeah, he always liked things that were too expensive,” Arthur said.

“Did you see his tie clip?”

“It’s horrible!” 

“Yes, whether it’s its price or style!”

“I can’t stand the investments he makes,” Arthur said, “He threw the transaction records around and looked me in the eye and said that he never understood funds and never invested a dime.”

“I feel like he has no IQ,” Lynn said, “I once went there to get a TV fixed and he was talking to Mrs. Allison about the detailed rules and regulations of smuggling and diamond cuts in front of me, and his explanation was so professional and thorough. So when the diamond case in Cyber City was discovered, I immediately thought of him. It’s just that I’m not in charge of Cyber City’s affairs, but I’ve been eyeing that guy for a long time.”

Arthur raised his drink to him and said, “Congratulations to the police in Cyber City for finally getting their heads out of their asses and letting us get a scumbag out of the neighborhood.” 

Krystyn looked at Arthur and then at Lynn as the two fathers chatted brightly.

Then she said, “I really love Christmas.”

Even after telling himself a hundred times to watch out for Arthur, Lynn loved talking to him.

While solving the diamond case, Lynn wondered if, with his previous intelligence, he would have found the strangeness of the case sooner since he had already discovered the abnormality of the boss. 

But when you stayed in a comfortable place for too long, your brain would probably slowly degenerate and rust into this calm.

It didn’t matter. When he came here, Lynn had made up his mind to never get involved with some major vicious cases again.

But when talking to Arthur, it felt completely different, a feeling that clearly mocked his previous opinion.

Conversations with the man were extremely pleasant, like a sword fight in that short, fleeting moment where there was no redundancy or hesitation. The exchange was full of concentration, sparks, and tacit understanding. 

And he knew that Arthur liked it, too.

Such thoughts swirled through his mind as he absentmindedly washed the dirty dishes at home.

He ate most of his meals at Arthur’s house now. He only occasionally cooked by himself, or heated up food from Arthur’s house in the microwave. And from the look on Chrissie’s face, she prefered it freshly made.

The girl was sitting in her chair doing her homework when she suddenly raised her head and asked, “Daddy, is Uncle Arthur going to be my mommy?” 

Lynn almost dropped the plate in his hand. He hurried to hold it firmly. “No, of course not, honey. What made you think of that?”

“Lily said that,” Chrissie said. Lily was a little girl in her class. “She said her mother said so. Two single men spend all day together, things are very obvious…”

“Mrs. Levin said that? Is that what’s going around the town these days? Very obvious? What’s very obvious between me and Arthur?!”

The girl’s voice went down at once. “Are you angry?” 

“No, no, of course not. How could Daddy be angry with you?”

“Well, Krystyn and I thought it would be nice. She said we can build a family together. I don’t mind if you’re the mom if her dad doesn’t want to be. Krystyn said that Uncle Arthur’s looks and knowledge are definitely worthy of you, so I don’t know what you have to be picky about—”

Lynn pressed the middle of his brows, feeling that he needed a little self-control to get his normal speech faculties back.

“I’m not picky, honey. Arthur and I are ordinary friends, and we’re both men. What are you two talking about together?” 

Chrissie sighed, looking like a little adult. She had learned to sigh a long time ago.

“We’re talking about family, Daddy. Mrs. Gedell says we need a family in this world to be warm and relaxed, like a bird needs a nest. I think you work too hard, Daddy, you need someone to take care of you. Krystyn also thinks that Uncle Arthur is very gloomy. She wishes she could take care of him and make him happy, but she can’t… If you two could start a family…”

“Honey, thank you for caring about me so much. I’m touched,” Lynn said, having to interrupt the conversation for a moment, “But Uncle Arthur and I are just friends, so let’s not talk about starting a family, okay?”

Chrissie let out another long sigh, feeling sad that the world was not as she wanted it to be. 

“Arthur said the same thing, and Krystyn said it was because he needed some time to adjust,” Chrissie said, “You’re not his type.”

“Oh my God, you guys went to ask Arthur about that!”

He thought about the way Arthur must have looked when he answered the question. The guy’s gentle, cold, and prissy look embarrassed him.

He finished washing the dishes, dried his hands, and poured himself a cup of coffee while Chrissie was working on her homework. He asked, “So what did Arthur say? 

“Oh, he said that’s impossible because you’re straight.”

Lynn’s coffee almost spurted out of his mouth, and Chrissie asked, “What does straight mean?”

“It doesn’t mean anything, just do your homework,” Lynn said, trying to swallow his coffee.

What does he mean I’m straight? Is he… bent? Lynn thought. 

No, no, of course not. He had a wife and a daughter, and apparently he loved his wife very much. He thought of the picture he had seen at Arthur’s house. The woman in the photo had red hair and was incredibly beautiful. She looked gentle and soft, but had something unique. She was the example of when beauty reached its peak.

You could imagine what a perfect couple Arthur and his wife had been together back then, so beautiful that they didn’t seem to be from this world.

Krystyn was the spitting image of her mother, except she had Arthur’s dark hair and a cool, jade-like demeanor that set her apart from all the other beautiful children and made her appear calm and different from the common crowd.

Just like her father when he stood in the crowd… 

Maybe he was bisexual? It was certainly possible. Arthur seemed to be dismissive of worldly views and certainly wouldn’t mind trying another orientation at all, if he had such ideas. Maybe he had been with men before, but he liked women just as much, and liked Krystyn’s mother more

“Did he say anything else?” He asked Chrissie one more question.

“No, that’s all.”

Lynn nodded, feeling bored out of his mind. 

Arthur’s words were very unreliable, it might as well have been an offhand remark. And what did his sexual orientation have to do with him?

They only occasionally helped to take care of each other’s little girls, or a little more, and take care of each other’s lives… To be exact, they should still keep their distance from each other, like a hostile relationship.

For such a guy, why was he so worried about what kind of sexual orientation he had?