The Emperor Has An Illness

Names mentioned in this chapter (which can also be found in the glossary):

-廖青青(Liào qīngqīng)- Liao Qing Qing, the female lead. 

-景礼帝(jǐng lǐ ​​dì)- Emperor Jing Li, the male lead.

-荷香(Hé ​​xiāng)- He Xiang, the female lead’s maidservant

–梁贵人(liáng guìrén)- Noble Lady Liang, used to be known as Noble Consort Liang or Consort Liang

Current Ranking: Empress Dowager → Empress → Worthy Consort + Virtuous Consort →  Lady Li of Graceful Ceremony → Ye Liangyi + Wu Liangyi → Noble Lady Liao + Noble Lady Jiang + Noble Lady Liang

Smart!

Very smart!

Emperor Jing Li’s harem intrigue skills are off the charts!

Without Liao Qing Qing even using her brains, Emperor Jing Li had taken care of/dealt with Consort Liang. She was worried that the poisonous powder might affect the child. But she didn’t have to worry. She placed her arms around Emperor Jing Li and spouted rainbow farts,[1] “Your Majesty, you are really the smartest person I’ve ever met!”

“That’s right!” Emperor Jing Li was proud.

“But—” Liao Qing Qing paused for a moment.

“But what?”

“Your Majesty, won’t you one day do the same to this concubine[2] because your harem intrigue skills are so high?” Liao Qing Qing said.

Emperor Jing Li replied without hesitation, “Definitely not.”

“Why?”

“I don’t need to put that much effort into dealing with you.”

“??? Are you saying this concubine is stupid?”

“No.”

“Then what do you mean?”

“I[3] can deal with you in bed. I don’t need to deal with you outside of the bed.”

“….” Publicly driving the car![4]

With a smile, Emperor Jing Li wrapped his arms around Liao Qing Qing and said, “You think too much.”

“How is this concubine thinking too much?”

“You can’t think that just because a warrior can kill the enemy would mean that the warrior can also kill his lover, right?”

“It seems that this concubine was blowing things out of proportion/comparing apples and oranges?”

“Isn’t that so?” Emperor Jing Li pecked Liao Qing Qing’s forehead. He said gently, “Imperial Physician Fan told methat a woman will always overthink and throw a tantrum when she is pregnant. So it’s true that this refers to you.”

“Did this concubine throw a tantrum?” Liao Qing Qing asked.

“You didn’t. You just tend to have random thoughts.” Emperor Jing Li placed his hand behind Liao Qing Qing’s neck. His forehead rested against Liao Qing Qing’s, and he said in an extremely gentle voice, “Qing Qing, you must trust me. I want you to be well. I want you to be well, and you will be well.”

“Your Majesty,” Liao Qing Qing called out.

“Hm?”

“You are so domineering.”

Emperor Jing Li froze for a moment, then smiled, “I am whatever Qing Qing describes.”

A smile appeared on Liao Qing Qing’s face.

Emperor Jing Li took Liao Qing Qing into his arms and said somewhat sentimentally, “I have seen a lot of conflicts between imperial concubines in the harem since I was a child. Whenever two or several concubines fought, Imperial Father was always indifferent and encouraged the fighting in the harem day by day, which even led to Queen Mother—”

Emperor Jing Li stopped talking for a moment.

Liao Qing Qing asked, “What about Queen Mother?”

Emperor Jing Li said, “Queen Mother once miscarried a child.”

Liao Qing Qing was stunned inwardly.

Emperor Jing Li continued, “At that time, I swore that I would never be like my Imperial Father if I ever ascended to the throne.”

No wonder!

No wonder Emperor Jing Li’s harem intrigue skills are so powerful!

He practised it from a young age.

“But you have many concubines like the late Emperor in your harem.” Liao Qing Qing smoothly responded.

“My harem is less than one-fifth of the previous Emperor’s.”

“So Your Majesty is feeling shortchanged?”

Emperor Jing Li gently squeezed Liao Qing Qing’s hand and said, “You’re getting increasingly bolder when you talk tome.”

Liao Qing Qing did not make a sound.

Emperor Jing Li softly said, “My imperial concubines in the harem are not what you think they are. Qing Qing, some of them are like Virtuous Consort, who voluntarily entered the palace to save her family. Some are like Noble Lady Liang, who wants more glory on the merits of her ancestors. Some are those who do not want men in the world and come to sit around and do nothing. Most of them are not true to me.”

“…. Your Majesty, you make yourself sound so pitiful.”

“I am not pitiful. I have Qing Qing.”

“Your Majesty, actually, this concubine entered the palace to sit around and do nothing.”

Emperor Jing Li was stunned. Then, he stretched his arms out and smacked Liao Qing Qing’s buttocks as a punishment. “I don’t care if you’re just sitting around and doing nothing. Anyway, you can’t get away from me in this life. You are my wife!”

Liao Qing Qing laughed.

Emperor Jing Li deliberately childishly asked, “Is that right?”

Liao Qing Qing did not respond.

Emperor Jing Li repeated, “Is that right?”

Liao Qing Qing had no choice but to reply with a smile, “Yes, yes, yes.”

“I will ask my imperial child again.”

As Emperor Jing Li said this, he leaned down and pressed his face against Liao Qing Qing’s stomach and talked to Liao Qing Qing’s stomach.

Liao Qing Qing looked down and saw this scene.

She had seen this scene many times, and her heart still felt an abundance of warmth.

As for the matter of Noble Lady Liang, it was soon thrown into the back of her mind.

But the matter of Noble Lady Liang did not end so quickly.

Because Noble Lady Liang had harmed the imperial child, Emperor Jing Li brought the sins of the Liang clan to light and successfully disgraced the Liang clan. After that, Emperor Jing Li dealt with several officials who had colluded with the Liang clan harshly, causing the common people to be delighted.

The imperial subjects were also convinced.

In the harem, the imperial concubines were all frightened because of the incident with Noble Lady Liang. As they recalled Noble Lady Liang’s sudden allergy on her face, several concubines fell ill with fear. When the rest saw Emperor Jing Li defending Liao Qing Qing so much, all those wavering hearts ceased.

No one dared to provoke the Empress.

After the incident with Consort Liang, the Empress, Liao Qing Qing, was often surrounded by guards and such. They protected her well, which caused her to be not used to it at first. However, she put up with it for the safety of her child.

Within a few days, she got used to it.

Presently, she was already eight months pregnant and less than two months away from giving birth. Liao Qing Qing suddenly felt a little anxious.

In this era, medical conditions were lacking. There was no incubator and caesarean. There was only natural birth, and the death rate of mother and child in childbirth was still very high.

She was suddenly afraid.

To have a better birth, she abided by the daily diet as ordered by the Imperial Physician. Now, she walks after meals and goes for a walk every night.

It was for the sake of smooth delivery.

[1] 彩虹屁(cǎihóng pì)- Lavish praise/flattery/rainbow fart. It is Internet slang. It means that fans flatter their idols in a fancy way that the idol’s whole body is a treasure and their good things. Literally means that even if idols fart, they could flatter it like rainbows.

[2] 臣妾(chénqiè)- this concubine/I, your servant (self-appellation of a lower-rank female). The literal meaning is ‘this subject and this concubine’.It is a self-appellation used by the ranks including and above Consorts. They are used by Consorts, Noble Consorts and Empress, etc. in front of the Emperor, Empress Dowager and Consorts, Noble Consorts that have a higher rank.

[3] 朕(zhèn)- I (imperial) or we (imperial use).

[4] 开车[kāichē]- Start the car/drive the car. An internet slang that refers to talking about the topic is related to p*rnography or something along the lines.