The Duke's Passion

"All I could hear were my thoughts for a long time, until around two decades ago, I heard a child's cry."

I gulped, hearing myself swallow. I couldn't look away from him as I pursed my lips in a thin line.

"I never thought I'd find happiness in the sound of a child crying but that child saved me." He smiled subtly while I suppressed my hiccup. I still had tons of questions in my mind, but I couldn't contemplate any of them at the moment.

"From then on, I'd listen to her cries all the time. Until she started learning how to speak and cried less. I knew just from listening to her that she was such a bundle of joy."

His eyes started gleaming with delight and I felt my shoulders and fists relax.

"Even when she hit adulthood, she was very lively," He continued, "Every day, without fail, she'd prattle on about her day nonstop."

Upon hearing his last remark, sweat started to break out on my forehead. Up until this point, I had never considered that the person he was talking about was me. However, the more I listened to him, the more I discerned the similarities.

My heart started pounding very loud as I tightened my jaw. He was listening to me all this time?

"Even when she lost her father, she didn't let go of that habit. She would announce whenever she got home and started talking alone. She even thought she had gone mad for talking alone. It's funny, because I thought otherwise." Samael chuckled, giving ease to the tension revolving around my heart. 

I did mumble about being insane as I couldn't let go of this habit. But the way he spoke about it brought warmth to my heart. He made me sound like a sane, remarkable person.

A person who wouldn't be easily brought down by poverty, starvation, or even a loss of a loved one. He made it sound like the person he was talking about was nothing but amazing.

But I wasn't.

"I think... deep in her subconscious mind, she knew someone was listening. That, someone, was looking forward to hearing her say, 'I'm home', and eager to listen to her daily tales and rants."

At this point, Samael locked his gaze with mine. Meanwhile, I could only listen like a fool.

The thought of someone listening to me every day brought relief and horror within me. It was relieving to know my habit saved someone.

On the other side of the coin, it terrified me as I've badmouthed a few nobles many times. Only when I talk to myself could I be real and express my dismay and happiness aloud.

The thought that he had heard everything mortified me. I felt like he had just stripped me naked and knew me more than I knew myself.

"So, I promised myself, I would return the favor once I wake up." Slowly, Samael leaned closer to the edge of the table. He rested his arm against it, cupping his jaw in his other hand, with his eyes still on me.

"Did that answer your question, Lilou?" He asked, bearing his unwavering resolve that flickered across his crimson eyes.

I tried answering but to no avail. My words were stuck in my throat, suffocating me. What should I say in a moment like this?

What should I feel?

"How can you say you'd return the favor by making me your reserved meal?" Before I knew it, my question suddenly slipped past my lips after struggling to find my voice again.

"I didn't want to kill you, you did."

"So, you just want to marry me because I — I saved you? If you really listened to everything, then, you'd know…"

"You want a wonderful romance that could touch even the most callous heart?" Before I could end my sentiments, Samael continued it for me. Just then, I recalled him saying the exact words this morning and my jaw dropped instantly.

"Even I thought that's ridiculous, silly," he humored, chuckling lightly, which made me feel very awkward.

He might think I was absurd to even dream of marrying. Not that it was one of my priorities with how tough life was.

However, I'm just a girl.

It was just normal for a girl like me to dream about unconditional love, right? He didn't need to make fun of me because of that.

Deep down, I felt very awkward and humiliated. He made me sound so amazing, and I could not help but wonder how disappointed he was after finally meeting me.

Unknowingly, I hung my head low out of utter disappointment. He probably didn't expect that the person he thought I was, was not actually that… amazing.

Instead, I was just…

"However, when I saw you, I knew I was wrong."

I know. You had the wrong perception of me, and I understood it clearly.

"Perhaps, I was wrong for thinking that kind of romance is ridiculous."

"Ah?" I asked, surprised.

"Because I suddenly want the same romance when I laid my eyes on you, silly," he said with a smile on his face.

"What?" I blinked, just asking randomly, as my mind was too little to understand everything.

"Damn it, girl! Do you really want me to say it loud and clear?" he frowned and clicked his tongue in annoyance. Yet, I couldn't understand why he suddenly turned aggressive.

"Say, say what?" I asked purely because I didn't think I understood him that well.

Part of me was assuming unnecessary thoughts. However, for someone like me, I could never hop into that conclusion.

Samael just stared at me, still cupping his jaw, before he let out a sigh.

"I've liked you since the first time I saw you. Happy now?" he said, looking away with a pout.

I blinked, trying to see if my eyes weren't deceiving me when I glimpsed at his flustered cheek.

"This girl just understands everything in literal terms, tsk," he mumbled, but the tips of his ears reddened.

"…" I think I was going blind and deaf. I should eat, so I stop hallucinating.

Just like what I thought. Instead of answering and processing his words, I started eating. I chugged the entire bowl of cold soup to ease my racing heart.

When I drank the last drop of soup, I slammed it down against the table and awkwardly laughed. Samael was looking at me with puzzlement in his eyes.

"Milord, please forgive my manners. Hunger made me hallucinate and I…"

"I like you." Before I could finish my explanation, he said blankly.

"Neither my existence nor my feelings are part of your imagination. I'm real, I'm here, I said, I like you, and I want you. Just what kind of language should I speak for you to understand that, Lilou?"

This time, although his tone was nearly the same, he stressed each word with conviction, which bore weight I could never carry.