Chapter 13 – Everyone’s newbie task

 Emeilia  Novels  August 17, 2022 11 Minutes

Because of a cold, Little Red Riding Hood got up a little late the next day. When she arrived at the restaurant, Bai Xue and the others were already sitting at their usual table.

    “Little Red Riding Hood, come and sit down. I’ll buy you breakfast.” Bai Xue was the first to discover Little Red Riding Hood.

    “Thank you.” Little Red Riding Hood’s voice had a thick nasal tone, obviously because the cold was not cured yet.

    “Why is your voice sound so bad, didn’t you take the cold medicine I gave you yesterday?” Xiao Ming asked with concern.

    “No.” Little Red Riding Hood shook her head, “I used to get a cold and sleep well. I never took medicine, but I don’t know what happened this time.”

    “You used to sleep well because your body has a resistance. Perfect condition. Now you are terminally ill, it will be different from the past.” Wu Ge said aloud.

    “That’s right.” Bai Xue nodded in agreement, “We are all terminally ill people. Our physical function cannot be compared with ordinary people. In the future, we should pay special attention to our bodies. We must pay attention to any cold, fever, headache, and brain fever.”

    “So serious?” Little Red Riding Hood was shocked.

    “If you get sick a few more times, you will be able to recognize the reality.” Xiao Ming said.

    “Do you want to curse me?” Little Red Riding Hood was depressed, is her body hasn’t adapted to a terminal illness?

    At this time, the restaurant door was suddenly pushed open with a bang, and a young man dressed fashionably strode in, and then made a gesture at the restaurant door that he thought looked handsome, and imitated the voice of heroes on TV. He asked: “Patients, haven’t seen me for a month, do you miss me?”

    “Bored?” Bai Xue.

    “Idiot.” Wu Ge.

    “Cao Nuo, you’re back.” Only Xiao Ming showed his surprise.

    “I knew you would miss me.” Cao Nuo ignored the comments of the first two people and walked toward Xiao Ming with a spring breeze on his face.

    “Have you got Tan Yingdi’s signature?” Xiao Ming asked immediately.

    “Of course I got it.” Cao Nuo took out a postcard from his pocket and handed it to Xiao Ming.

    Xiao Ming ignored Cao Nuo after taking the postcard. He returned to the table with the postcard to continue eating breakfast.

    “Are you guys for real?” Cao Nuo couldn’t bear it any longer.

    “…” The restaurant was quiet, and no one paid any attention to him.

    Cao Nuo awkwardly adjusted his collar, which did not exist at all, and walked towards the dining table, meeting Little Red Riding Hood’s curious gaze.

    “Cough…” Cao Nuo straightened his hair covered in hairspray, and the pretentious male voice sounded again, “This beauty must be a new patient, Little Red Riding Hood.”

    “Hello.” Little Red Riding Hood introduced herself, “I’m Little Red Riding Hood, El Nino proven, and there are still 26 days of HP.”

    “Hello Little Red Riding Hood, I’m Cao Nuo, a patient with Sa Huang(1) syndrome, with nine months of HP.” Cao Nuo stretched out his hand to make peace. Little Red Riding Hood was about to shake his hand.

Please read The Attack on Little Red Riding Hood at ibastranslation.wordpress.com 

    “Crack!”

    “Ouch, it hurts.”

    Bai Xue tapped the back of Cao Nuo’s hand with a chopstick: “Put away your salty pig’s hand.”

    “Shaking hands is basic courtesy.” Cao Nuo defended.

    “You think if it’s about business, you can shake hands with anyone you just meet. Who are you lying to?” Bai Xue turned to Little Red Riding Hood and said, “This man is a playboy who likes to take advantage of girls, so be careful.”

    “Oh.” Little Red Riding Hood silently withdrew the hand that she had just stretched out halfway.

    “Can’t I do this? A rabbit doesn’t eat the grass on the edge of its nest (t/n: an idiom means a villain doesn’t harm his neighbor). Can’t I befriend a fellow patient?” Cao Nuo said, aggrieved.

    “Every time you are in heat, you like to speak in the fake broadcast voice. It’s not very subtle and everyone can see it.” Wu Ge suddenly said.

    “Lawyer Wu, I was practicing my lines.” Cao Nuo said, “Do you know what an actor’s self-cultivation is?”

    “Heh…” Wu Ge gave him a sneer.

    “Mr. Cao is an actor?” Little Red Riding Hood asked in surprise.

    “Yes…”

    “What actor? He is a group leader.” Before Cao Nuo could answer, Xiao Ming said first, “Do you know what a group leader is? It’s the kind of people who lead a group of extras at the entrance of the film and television city. He’s the leader of extras.”

    “Oh.” Little Red Riding Hood understood.

    “What’s wrong with the group leader? What’s wrong with a group extra? Isn’t the group of extras still actors?” Cao Nuo said indignantly, “I have acted in more film and television dramas than those movie stars and actresses.”

    “In each drama only appeared less than a second. Right.” Bai Xue sneered.

    “That’s good, at least there are still appearances.” Wu Ge answered appropriately.

    “…” Cao Nuo found that he couldn’t win against the group of patients who knew his life story, so he decided to change the subject, “Stop talking about me, talk about the new patient.”

    “Huh?” Little Red Riding Hood looked up suspiciously.

    “You only have 26 days of HP left. The time is a bit tight. Have you received the novice quest?” Cao Nuo asked.

    “Yes.” Little Red Riding Hood grimaced.

    “Is the progress going well?” Cao Nuo knew when he saw Little Red Riding Hood’s expression, “It’s okay, I’ll help you find a way.”

    “Really, thank you.” Little Red Riding Hood was excited, this group leader can see through her, no wonder he’s the leader.

    “No, I’ve been idle lately anyway. When you are out with your target, I’ll find a way to kidnap him.” Cao Nuo said casually.

    “Abduction?” Little Red Riding Hood asked in confusion.

    Xiao Ming finally finished his last bite of the buns, and explained promptly: “This is his special way to complete the task.”

    “What do you mean?” Little Red Riding Hood was even more confused.

    “This guy, although he is a group leader, he likes to read novels.” Isn’t there some incompatibility between the two? “And Cao Quntou’s favorite novel is called Infinite Horror.”

    “Horror novel?” Although Little Red Riding Hood had never read it, she knew it was a horror novel from the name.

    “That’s right.” When Cao Nuo mentioned his favorite novel, Cao Nuo was immediately excited, “This novel is about a great space of the gods. Some players who feel that life is boring and meaningless are drawn from the present world and enter the horror world. Play a survival game. Isn’t this setting very similar to our mission goals?”

    That said, it’s pretty similar.

    “The characters in this novel, after experiencing a few horror stories, went from being unlovable at first to seeking life. This world-beating change is exactly what our company needs. “Cao Nuo said.

    To use this kind of novel as a guide is simply an operation guide for the company’s missions.

    “Only when you feel how precious your life is, only then human beings will be afraid of death. So… my method is.” Cao Nuo finally said the point, “Bring out your mission target, I will do a realistic kidnapping and kidnap him. Put it in an extremely terrifying environment, and let him experience the horror of death.”

    “That’s not good.” Little Red Riding Hood asked hesitantly.

    “Tsk, I did read the employee handbook. As long as it doesn’t violate the law, moral standards can be relaxed appropriately.” Cao Nuo said, “It’s not really kidnapping, it’s just playing an escape room.”

    “Does it work?” Little Red Riding Hood asked again.

    “It’s quite useful, especially for the newbie task.” Cao Nuo said confidently, “The first task I received at the time was a lost gambler who went bankrupt. He was called a lifeless gambler and he was always ready to jump from the roof of the building. I placed a cover under him and pushed him off the roof. After experiencing a near-death situation, let alone suicide, he also quit gambling. Now he is the owner of a small company. The company will expand next year.”

    “So smart?” Little Red Riding Hood couldn’t believe it.

    “Of course, the second and third missions were all done this way. This method can’t be said to be 100% effective, at least out of 100, 90% were a success.” Cao Nuo said confidently, “I see that your HP will only last a few days. I’m only helping you, I have never helped them.”

    “Oh… no need.” Wu Ge said coldly.

    “Of course you don’t need it. You are so vicious. You directly scold someone who wants to die until they want to live.” Cao Nuo complained, “Scolding suicidal people because you want to live. Truly depends on one mouth if someone wants to use that strategy.

    ” So powerful?” Little Red Riding Hood was filled with curiosity, “How did you do it?”

    “Let me tell you.” Cao Nuo explained excitedly, “Wu Ge’s newbie target is a migrant worker who can’t get money to go home for the New Year and wants to jump off a building. When Wu Ge was sent over, he was preparing to fight a billion-dollar economic case in court, but he was suddenly got teleported over. Think how angry he was. He scolded the migrant worker on the spot, and then a few days later, the court issued a subpoena to sue the subcontractor, and then in the court, the subcontractor was scolded to death.”

    “Yes, yes.” Xiao Ming seemed to remember something funny, “Brother Wu Ge was a famous cold-blooded lawyer in our Xingcheng City before that. A famous cold-blooded lawyer who only files lawsuits for the rich. But the moment he demanded free wages for migrant workers, all the people in the entire Xingcheng City were completely shocked. A bunch of people lined up on Weibo to apologize to Brother Wu, saying that they were wrong in the past for misunderstanding him. It turns out that he is a good lawyer who is cold on the outside but soft on the inside.”

    “That’s why the world is so ignorant.” Cao Nuo sighed.

    Little Red Riding Hood glanced at Wu Ge quietly and found that his expression was calm and did not seem angry, so he turned to look at Xiao Ming: “What about you, Xiao Ming, how did you complete your first mission?”

    “Me? My newbie mission. There’s nothing to learn from it.” Xiao Ming said.

    “You can just share about it.” No matter whether it is valuable or not, it is still better to have one more extra method.

    “I’m curious too, Xiao Ming, tell me.” Bai Xue urged, apparently she had never heard of Xiao Ming’s story.

    “My first mission target is a child.” Xiao Ming said a little embarrassedly, “He liked someone online he met in a game, but then that person dumped him. The little kid doesn’t understand anything, so he was going to commit suicide because of this. He tried to hang himself.”

    “Brat.” Cao Nuo asked, “How did you deal with it?”

    “It’s very simple.” Xiao Ming’s face was full of embarrassment.

    “How easy?” Bai Xue asked.

    “I…I told his parents.”

    “…” There was a long silence.

    “You are too simple, and have no reference value at all.” Cao Nuo commented.

    “I told you.” Xiao Ming pouted innocently.

    “What about you, Bai Xue? How did you solve your first task?” Little Red Riding Hood turned and asked Bai Xue again.

    Bai Xue recalled: “I, my first mission target was a bride who had escaped marriage. She was wearing a wedding dress and was going to jump into the sea. I was sent directly from the studio. I persuaded her that women shouldn’t kill themselves for a scumbag. Then I used the scissors in my hand to change her wedding dress into an elegant dress to encourage her to go into a new life.”

    “And then?” Cao Nuo asked.

    “And then… it was successful?” Bai Xue spread her hands.

    “It’s that simple? But it’s also a newbie task.” Cao Nuo nodded understandingly.

    “Then why is my novice task so difficult?” Little Red Riding Hood pressed her chin against the dining table. Why do the other’s stories sound easy, but she encountered a neuropathy patient.

    “Is your task difficult? What is it?” Cao Nuo asked curiously.

    “A neurotic who commits suicide by different methods every day, a big pervert, a strange thing.” Little Red Riding Hood said with righteous indignation.

    “It’s so troublesome. It’s alright, I’ll go back and you wait for me to arrange it. You bring him out and try to do it using my method.” Cao Nuo said enthusiastically.

    “Well, thank you, but…” Little Red Riding Hood hesitated. “He has bodyguards, so it’s not easy to tie him up.”

    “Is that so…” Cao Nuo hesitated immediately, “Wait… when will there be no bodyguards? You can notify me again.” His group of brothers is all group performers, and it’s okay to act in a play, but if they want to fight against the bodyguards, they can’t beat them.

    “Oh…” Little Red Riding Hood was lost again. She didn’t have Xiao Ming’s luck, Bai Xue’s talent, Wu Ge’s poisonous tongue, and even Cao Nuo’s methods were blocked by the bodyguards.

    You said that you are a person who wants to die all day. Why do you keep bringing bodyguards when you go out?

    “Ah..choo!” Brother Wolf who was working in the office sneezed for no reason.

The author has something to say: Today, I want to praise myself for being fat.

    PS: Thanks to “Twilight Watching the Clouds” for providing the disease name “Sa Huang Zheng” to Cao Nuo.

T/N:

1. Cao Nuo’s disease, Sà huáng (萨黄) or Sa Huang Zheng means ‘yellow proven’. The word huáng itself can mean ‘yellow’ or ‘pornography’. I think it can also mean he has pervert syndrome. But also I think is a play on the word sā huǎng (撒谎) which means ‘to tell lies’. It goes along with his playful characteristic.It’s funny for me since the rest of the characters don’t have any deep meaning behind their disease’s name and this guy got a pun for disease.