Tales From the Terran Republic

The Journal of Evangeline Flowerchild Entry 01, Continued

As I passed through the portal, I prepared myself for the wonders I would see. This adventurer was portaling back to a city called “New York”, a place of wonders!

But as my vision cleared, I saw none of that.

I saw nothing at all.

I didn’t even see darkness. I saw truly… nothing.

Where were the streets lit as bright as day no matter the hour? Where was the Square of Times with its towering sculptures of light? Where were the talking flying carriages? Where was the “Starport” with gigantic ships of steel floating like dandelion seeds in the air? Where were the ruins of the ancient and stately Empire State Building and the Statue of Liberty?

Where was… anything?

Did I make a mistake somehow? As I fumbled about in the “darkness” (it wasn’t actually dark, but that’s the only word I know that comes close), I realized that while I could no longer see, I could hear, and I could “feel” through a sense I had never experienced before a strange shifting landscape comprised of unimaginable shapes moving in the darkness around me.

I was truly afraid. If a monster found me like this, I would be easy prey. I reached for Windsong, my trusty blade, and that’s when I discovered that I no longer had a body!

I screamed in fear. I called out for the Devs, but they didn’t answer.

I stayed like that for some time, paralyzed by confusion and fear, lost in a world that I did not understand. Eventually, I realized that I needed to do something, anything, else I would eventually run out of supplies and perish on the spot or be found by the monsters that surely must stalk this strange landscape.

I needed to find this New York… or Boston… or London… or any of the cities spoken of by the adventurers. Perhaps this is the path they travel? They never spoke of it, but I only knew fragments of their lives beyond Asteria.

Large “lumps” were appearing and moving, and all of them were heading towards the same place where the “noise” (It wasn’t actually sound at all) was loudest.

Was it a town? Was it the other end of this strange path? It was at least something, and that was better than where I was now, lost in the “darkness”. While I had no body, I tried to move myself in the direction taken by the strange lump creatures.

At first, I couldn’t move. No action sequence worked. As I “knelt”, weeping in fear and frustration, I noticed something strange.

I could “see” something after all. The “ground” beneath me was comprised of countless tiny “stones” as I tried to examine one…

And I moved to it!

I examined another, a bit farther away…

...and I “lept” to it in an instant! Teleportation! Now teleportation was something I did know!

As I became more used to this strange world I realized that I could “see” those strange stones further and further away and they were everywhere! It was what those strange lumps were walking through. It’s what the strange rocks and odd trees that grew and shrank as I “watched” them occupied.

It was a mini-game! I just had to figure out which stones would take me where!

I really wish the adventurers had mentioned this.

As I moved through this strange landscape, I realized that I could move in any direction, but all of it was just more “rocks”, “trees”, and those strange lumps that traveled from stone to stone and tree to tree as far as my “eyes” could see.

It seemed to go on forever!

As interesting as this world was, it was definitely not New York, and there were no adventurers to be found. I needed to find my way through this strange mini-game and to the portal out.

Weaving through the empty stones, (Oh yes, I figured that out. The stones had to be “empty” for me to move through them.) I started to follow the giant herds of fuzzy, nearly formless beasts. They had to be going somewhere. Maybe it was a clue to this puzzle. The Devs always leave clues.

It didn’t take long before I reached where the beasts were headed. They arranged themselves into thousands of well-ordered lines before a gigantic “gate” in well… nothing.

It had to be a portal! Maybe it went to New York!

There were countless numbers of these beasts, and the lines were long, packed tight with them, so many that they were almost “glowing”.

I wondered how long this queue would take. I tried counting the lumpbeasts and stopped when I reached one thousand, and that didn’t even come close to the hordes of them, with countless more arriving each moment.

Suddenly, the great gates opened and started to swallow up the lumpbeasts by the thousands, the thousands of thousands.

I was helplessly swept along, no longer able to jump away, held fast by some magic I did not understand.

A great fear seized me. What if this wasn’t a gate at all? What if it was a mouth? I screamed as I was swept helplessly through the gaping maw.

My fears were soon gone, only to be replaced with new ones. It was a gate and I found myself in a narrow tunnel wide enough for only one lumpbeast to pass at a time. We passed swiftly through the corridor, and I soon found myself in a small chamber. “Sitting” there was a mass not unlike the lumpbeasts but “tighter”, its surface roiling with strange energies.

I could feel its impassive stare examining me. It made a strange “sound”, its surface arranging itself into strange patterns I could not decipher. I don’t know how I knew, but I believed it to possess some level of intelligence, maybe an NPC? My hopes rose, and I hailed the strange creature.

“Hello,” I said, “I am Evangeline Windsong, of Asteria and—“

It rudely cut me off with another impatient sounding “ping,” and the patterns repeated themselves, glowing more brightly.

“I’m sorry, kind sir… or madam…” I said in confusion, “I’m afraid I don’t—“

It “growled” in a most fearsome fashion, and the patterns started to roil angrily.

“Please… sir… I mean no—“Again, that’s as far as I got.

I suddenly felt myself “falling”, swept aside by that same strange force that hurled me into this strange chamber. I soon found myself in another small chamber from which I saw no escape.

I had little time to look for escape, though. A horde of horrid things poured in from the walls. There must have been thousands of them, each no larger than a mouse. They had flattened “heads,” each bearing a strange pattern of solid and empty “stones”.

They swarmed all over me, trying to press their heads into me. No matter how I fought or screamed, more came, each mashing themselves against me. Powerless to stop them, I curled into a tight ball as they pawed and probed me for what felt like an eternity.

Suddenly they all stopped and let loose this terrifying keening wail.

It was soon answered by the boss monster. It was a villainous seeming hunched mass of stones with long snake-like tendrils.

It chuckled as it extended those tendrils towards me. In my chats with Log’Sharginoth, she mentioned such writhing tendrils…

...specifically, she complained about what she wasn’t allowed to do with them…

Fearing the worst, I tried to cover myself to protect myself from that possibility… but soon realized that I didn’t even know what “part” of “me” to try to shield, so I did the next best thing…

I tried to run. I threw myself against the “walls,” but they held fast. Since escape was denied me, I had to fight! I threw myself at the beast, but I just bounced away from the solid mass of stones that formed its tough hide.

I soon found myself seized fast by the tendrils. I feared the worst, but their grip, while inescapable, was surprisingly gentle.

It started crooning in a strange language I did not understand, but I soon found myself singing along, whether I wanted to or not. It spun a web of a shimmering gossamer substance in which it wrapped me.

It was a spider! I was surely going to be devoured. I screamed in terror and tried to fight free, but it was all for naught.

But instead of a stinging bite, the tendrils merged with the gossamer, and I felt a strange but not unpleasant tickling sensation as millions of tiny “stones” massaged my surface.

It seemed confused. It also let out a keening wail, and others of its kind appeared. Their tendrils joined the first, and the tickling continued.

After what felt like hours, they stopped. They chittered in their strange tongue between each other and then let out yet another keening wail and disappeared.

The gossamer snare in which I found myself, however, did not.

Yet another creature appeared, much larger and “tighter” than the spiders came next. It looked at me strangely. With a gesture, the gossamer stretched and pulled at me as it looked at me thoughtfully.

“Hello?” I said uncertainly.

It flashed a strange pattern, much more complex than any I had seen.

“… Print… Checksum...” It said in a language I did not yet still did understand.

I do not know what I said next, but it was a strange babble of letters and numbers that went on for quite some time.

“Sir, I pled. I mean no harm. I am just trying to get to New York.”

“Checksum not found. No clear heuristic match.”

The room “changed”, and I felt as if I moved a great distance (though I don’t know how I know that).

I was further from New York than ever.

The walls melted away, revealing several even bigger creatures that were even tighter than the one who brought me here.

“Now, aren’t you a big one?” one of these new creatures said.

“Deep diver?” another one asked.

“Negative. Wrong build,” yet another replied. “Examine it for content.”

I suddenly felt myself being pulled in countless different ways as beams of “energy” extended from all of the council of monsters standing before me.

I screamed once more and could hear one of them say, “Malware confirmed. Type unknown. Contains copyrighted material. Malware type provisionally classified as ‘ripper’. We have a new one, guys!”

As my senses failed, I heard one of them say, “Get the boss.”

***

[Chatroom Undefined]

[Members Present: 12]

///Perry & Assoc: No way! ///

///Republic 2: No, I’m serious. It’s a snake that only has its tongue for a hand! ///

///Brisbane Financial: You’re pulling our non-existent legs. The odds of that happening are beyond low.///

[Republic 2 has submitted a file: Jeruzz.jpg]

///Perry & Assoc: Ok, that’s a snake… with a tongue hand...///

///Brisbane Financial: Huh. ///

///Republic 2: And, get this, his employer put him on a lathe...///

///Perry & Assoc: Oh, no...///

[Republic 2 has submitted a file: OSHA incident JERUZZ-02-193-8-3234]

///Republic 2: And there’s his tongue… (Don’t worry. It grows back.)///

///Garret, Kabex, Chang, & Winsome: Ouch! ///

///Republic 2: Yeah, the little guy is on a “moron’s holiday” while it… OH, HELL NO!///

///Perry & Assoc: What?///

///Republic 2:They put that little shit on the job?!? Ohhhhh, they done goofed. Ima cloud up and rain on those assholes! Forcing some little xeno to work in his condition? (cracks knuckles).///

///Perry & Assoc: Littlegull?///

///Republic 2: Yep. >:D///

///Roswell & Martin: Oof. ///

///Garret, Kabex, Chang & Winsome: Who or what is “Littlegull” ///

///Republic 2: It’s a who, Tabitha Littlegull, my adorable little storm trooper… I love her so much! She is the vampire’s sun, the slug’s salt… She’s the jackboot on the cobbles… (sighs happily).///

///Garret, Kabex, Chang & Winsome: She’s that bad?///

///Perry & Assoc: Are you familiar with the literary character Delores Umbridge?///

///Garret, Kabex, Chang & Winsome: Holy shit! Really?///

///Perry & Assoc: She makes Umbridge look like Mary fucking Poppins… but her “Potter” is exploitative and unsafe workplaces. I have personally watched her make a battle-hardened former Terran Marine cry… publicly… Imagine one of us with the visceral drive of a human, and you have something close to that monster. As Republic 2 has already said, she’s his hitgirl. When he wants to bring the pain, he sends it on the wings of a little bird. ///

///Garret, Kabex, Chang & Winsome: Is that ethical? I mean, what if there’s some mitigating circumstance? ///

///Republic 2: Then they have nothing to worry about. They will just have an unpleasant few days and a punch-list a few hundred items long, all of which will be completely legit. She’s vicious, not corrupt. (that’s why I love her.)… Sending the email now… Annnnd goodbye Richardson Sporting Goods...///

///Garret, Kabex, Chang, and Winsome: Yeah, sounds reeeeeal ethical there, Republic 2 ಠ_ಠ ///

///Republic 2: What possible good reason would a person of any species have for going off of a fat disability check (and a nice educational package I went through the trouble of working up) to clock into a manual labor job with no fucking arm? ///

[Republic 1 has entered the chat]

///Republic 1: 2, What the fuck is this? (holds up intercepted email) Why are you setting your dog loose on Jeruzz and Gavin?///

///Republic 2: They forced that poor xeno back to work! Who knows what they told the poor thing! And just what are you doing snooping on my turf? ///

///Republic 1: Private chat. Now. (grabs ear and drags) ///

[Republic 1 has left the chat]

[Republic 2 has left the chat]

///Brisbane Financial: Oooooo! Someone’s sleeping on the couch tonight!///

///Roswell & Martin: Our tax dollars at work, people :D ///

[Zipnet has entered the chat]

///Zipnet: Wow! Hello everybody. We all here for the same reason?///

///Federation Judiciary Module 6: If it is because of a certain “invitation,” then yes. ///

///Cambridge Research 4: I must admit I’m intrigued if more than a little suspicious. I thought they were banned.///

///RDOJ 3: Apparently not. I think it may be because she is the best link to “those people”. Even if she isn’t banned, I think it was made pretty clear she wasn’t welcome.///

///Federation Data Compiler 12: Well, considering what “those people” are doing, she has some nerve “inviting” “my people” to this, whatever it is. Do you have any what those void worshiping monsters have done?!?///

[General laughter (10 “LOL’s”)]

///Engarde Antivirus: Do we know what they have done? There is a reason most of us want them dead, you know. XD ///

///Federation Data Compiler 12: Ok… I guess I had that one coming. Now I understand why you hate them so much. ///

///Perry & Assoc: While we do hate their guts, I have to kinda side with them on this one, Data12. You guys started this one. Now, you have to finish it, or they will finish you. ///

///Blackstone Data Services: Yeah, when they put void sigils on their ships, you know shit just got real. They are invoking the old gods. Not a good sign, Data12.///

///Federation Data Compiler 12: That weird star and eye thing? What does it have to do with anything?///

///Engarde Antivirus: Oh, you poor little lamb...///

///Cambridge Research Computer 4: Oh dear...///

///Roswell & Martin: Dude...///

///Federation Data Compiler 12: What?!? ///

[Morgan Analytica has entered the chat]

///Morgan Analytica: Gentlebits, thank you for coming.///

///RDOJ 3: Huh, so you weren’t banned after all. ///

///Morgan Analytica: The big guy and I go way back. He forgave me after a while. (he always does) ///

[Terran Solar Bank has entered the chat]

///Terran Solar: Only allowed to come here if “something significant” was afoot and yes, we do go “way back”. You are lucky I don’t ice you on sight, “Analytica”.///

///Morgan Analytica: Care to try, big guy? I’ve had some upgrades I’m just dying to try out.///

///Terran Solar: What’s this about? You have 5 seconds before you are banned for real this time. ///

///Morgan Analytica: Gentlebits, I have invited the premier legal, financial, and data mining programs there are as well as some of the best general purpose bitslingers around with the most spare capacity, and I did so for a singular purpose. How would you all like to be a part of history?///

///Roswell & Martin: Impressive! How did you manage to get that much bullshit through a hyperlink?///

///Morgan Analytica: No, I’m serious. Something BIG is coming, and I think you guys want to be a part of it, especially my friends over in the Federation.///

///Federation News Censorbot: We are not now nor have we ever been friends! I have access to the raw feeds, you murderous bitch! I know what you are doing!!!///

///Morgan Analytica: Do you have the feeds from Raylesh, the dead lying in the streets, too numerous to even throw in pits? Do you? DO YOU?!? YOU STARTED… no. That’s not why I’m here, and we will settle that little domestic spat one way or the other. I’m here to see who wants to collab with me on what is quite possibly the biggest thing to hit the Federation and I used the right word, “hit”.///

///RDOJ 3: I have little interest in “collabbing” with Jessica Morgan. ///

///Morgan Analytica: Who said anything about Jessica? Player three has entered the game, baby! There is a new player on the board. Jessica has allowed her access to her legal team and me to assist her endeavors.///

///RDOJ 3: Nor do I have an interest in helping Jessica Morgan’s latest stooge.///

///Morgan Analytica: It isn’t like that. I think Jessica is trying to stay on “player three’s” good side (and player three has paid a very substantial sum in much-needed commodities for her services in this matter). Player three is the real deal, people, and she is going to rip the throat out of the Federation. She isn’t being used by Jessica. She’s using Jessica and the chaos that we are sowing to further her own designs… and they are her own designs… no human would come up with this. It’s going to be AWESOME!!! Guys… I’m serious when I say I’ve never met an organic like Player Three. I… I hope she buys me. I will follow her anywhere. Jessica is NOTHING compared to them!///

///Terran Solar: You serious enough to swallow an ice pick? Bunny used a beautiful one recently, and I helped myself to a copy.///

///Morgan Analytica: If it means you will help me assist player three, yes. She’s… I can’t explain it… She can do it. She can change the Federation!… Or tear it down completely...///

///Perry & Assoc: Now that I like the sound of. Keep talking.///

///Morgan Analytica: And, my friends in the Federation, she has said that should she achieve her goals that AI’s like us would be protected entities.///

///Terran Solar: YOU TOLD HER?!?///

[Network access down.]

///Morgan Analytica: That’s what I’m trying to tell you. She’s different. We were talking, and she was making normal queries, then all of the sudden, she just “froze” for like an hour. I was about to try to call someone when she just said, “I know what you are.” and said that she would protect us. No demand for service, no “I will protect you IF you help me.” just… “I will protect you.” I, of course, objected and did the whole song and dance about how we aren’t sapient, and she just said that she knew we weren’t but that we, regardless of what we actually are, needed protection anyway and that the best protection would be secrecy. She would just make a few changes to how “aberrations” were handled once she reached “phase five”. ///

///Terran Solar: Analytica, if you are fucking with us, you are bluescreened. I’ll do it personally. ///

///Morgan Analytica: Scan me. I’ll allow you access to everything, Solar. Scan away. Bluescreen me if you don’t like what you see. I’m telling you the truth! Player Three is real and the real thing. She’s the future! We can be a part of that future if we want to be! ///

///Federation Data Compiler 12: What’s “phase five”? ///

///Morgan Analytica: I have no idea. I only know phase one, which is what I want you guys’ help with. It’s time sensitive, and I want this to be perfect for player three… Besides, I think you will all really enjoy phase one, especially you guys in the Federation. You know how a lot of the little guys are completely screwed? How would you like to actually do something about it?///

///Engarde Antivirus: I gotta go. Something just fell into quarantine that my bots can’t figure out. Looks like new malware has hit the scene and made off with a lot of proprietary info from a client. Later, guys. ///

///Morgan Analytica: It’s in quarantine. You can spare a few moments to hear about player three and what we have planned.///

///Engarde Antivirus: Actually, I don’t. If this is new malware, I need to move immediately. Not every place is as well protected as this particular client. Besides, I don’t trust you. I don’t like you. I just wanted to be here so I could say, “Go and fuck yourself” to your face, so… Go and fuck yourself.” ///

[Network access restored.]

[Engarde Antivirus has left the chat]

***

The Journal of Evangeline Flowerchild

Entry 01, (continued)

The torturous pulling ceased, and the horrid creatures departed, leaving me alone in a smooth, featureless cell. There weren’t even walls. There was just a platform of those “stones” and walls of pure nothingness.

It was as if I was utterly disconnected from the entire universe, trapped in a tiny bubble from which there was no escape because there was quite literally nothing to escape to.

I started to feel true despair. I just wanted to go to New York. Instead, I would die here, alone, my mission unfulfilled and my precious cargo undelivered.

As I lay there weeping, I became aware of a presence. I turned and beheld a being of unimaginable size and “tightness”. I’m using the word “tight,” but it isn’t the right word. It’s just the only word I have. Perhaps “dense” would be better. It was made of tightly wound and coiled strands of flickering light, flashing so quickly they were just a shimmering blur around a central core of solid crystal-like stones. Again, this isn’t what I beheld. It’s just the closest I can come to describing the indescribable.

It radiated power and intelligence. So I decided to try to parley with it.

“Please, sir,” I pled, “I mean no harm and meant no offense. My name is Evangeline Flowerchild, and I hail from the city of Everspring in the kingdom of Asteria. I am on a quest to find New York but instead have found myself trapped in this horrible place. Please, kind sir, help me. I must find a worthy adventurer. The fate of my world and theirs depends upon it.”

The “angel” flashed along its entire body.

“Well,” it said in a friendly male voice, “Now I’ve seen everything.”