Supernatural Investigation 101: Chronicles Of Nakashima Wakana

The morning arrives slowly, enlightening the room. It's a little cold. The mist is hovering outside the window as if something is keeping it outside. Nakashima Wakana doesn't get up from the bed. She stares at the ceiling, fully aware of the presence outside the room. 

Her throat is dry. 

He enters the room with a jar of water and goes to her side. She looks at him in silence, not knowing what to say. Guilt. She can feel it inside him. Love. She can also feel it hurting him. It's bothersome.

"Don't care about my feelings." Choi Minho doesn't meet her gaze and pours her a glass of water. "You should always think about yourself first."

Then, why does he never think of himself?

"Do I have the right to think about myself?" Choi Minho lets out a laugh as he places the glass on the table beside the bed. "You know why now. Say what do you want to do with me?"

She notices that he's still wearing the same clothes that he was wearing yesterday. She sits up when he kneels on the floor with a smile on his face. Wakana studies him quietly. He's ready to take any punishment from her. "You are released."

Choi Minho blinks his eyes, unable to grasp her thoughts. Why is she releasing him? She lets out a sigh, gazing toward the window. He probes into her mind again. 

"Just reading mind isn't enough." She tells him, "You probably can't understand me because you can't understand yourself."

And why does she want him to understand her when she doesn't want to understand him? She can't help herself but feel his feelings. He's not hiding them as if he wants her to know that he will do anything for her.

"I don't want to understand myself." He reaches for her hand, feeling uneasy. Her thoughts are muddy. Is he a burden to her? "I only want to understand you."

And what right does he have? She asks him slowly. "Choi Minho, aren't you tired?"

After a moment of silence, Choi Minho questions her, "Tired?" 

"I was a police officer once." Nakashima Wakana gazes at him. His grey hair is a mess. There's only pain in his bright turquoise eyes. This man, who is still a boy at heart, has gone through a lot. She has felt his emotions and seen his life. "I have seen families of the criminals who were mortified after finding out what their loved ones did."

But he's different. He opens his mouth to say something.

"You are also a victim, Choi Minho."

He lets go of her hand, stupefied. No refusing words would come out of his mouth.

"You were just a boy." She climbs off the bed and sits down on her knees in front of him. Cupping his face with her palms, she continues, "It wasn't your fault. What could you do? You also lost your brother and parents. Why do you want to carry everyone else's burdens on your little shoulders?"

It's not like that. If he had tried to stop his brother… Choi Minho bends his head and stares into her warm eyes. This is not how she should be looking at him. However, something is breaking in his heart… something that was left unnoticed for a long time. It's been suffocating him from inside. 

"I know that you love your brother a lot." Wakana rubs away the tears on his cheeks using her thumbs. "Being a family to someone does mean that you share all shades of life with them… Whether it's good times or difficult times, you want to carry it with them. It doesn't mean that you also share their sins."

Why is she like this? How could she forgive him so easily? There's not a trace of hate in her. Her thoughts are clear to him now. She's being honest. He doesn't deserve this treatment from her.

"It's enough now." She wraps her arms around him, pressing her ear on his c.h.e.s.t. His heart is beating fast, but she's not feeling insane enough to stop him. Perhaps, seeing those memories have relieved her of the worries that this insanity belonged to her. 

She didn't hurt Minami Sei because she wanted to kill him. That urge to cause pain to her loved ones didn't belong to her. Maybe she would do something crazy again in the future. But she's not giving up without a fight. She will control these abilities before they control her.

"Your brother has also paid for what he did to those people and me. He might be still paying in his new life. You can stop now, Choi Minho. You don't have to pay for his crimes. Please start living for yourself." 

She pauses for a moment. 

"You know, I don't hate these abilities that much. I was able to meet you and Sei because your brother gave these abilities to me. It's true that I felt more than what I wanted to feel. But feeling the emotions of other people helped me understand them better. I know that my family loves me a lot despite the differences between me and them. I also know that Sei loves me genuinely."

And he also loves her. 

"That's why I don't hate your brother." She raises her head and grins at him. "I also got a healthy body. I could play sports and run fast when the ghost chased me. When I was young, I helped a few ghosts. These abilities aren't completely bad. Have some faith in me. I will gain full control over these abilities. So, Choi Minho, it's time that you live for yourself now."

Ever since his brother lost control, he's been living with guilt and pain. It's been years since he returned from hell. While trying to pay for his brother's sins, he has forgotten how to live for himself. He has also given up on her -- the woman he's been in love with. Now, she belongs to someone else and he's filled with regrets.

"You are still feeling bad." She wrinkles her nose. "Then, how about becoming my teacher, Choi-sama? Help me gain control over these abilities. I want to become a private investigator since I am no longer a part of the supernatural investigation agency."

She pouts a little, looking side-ways. "It was unfair of you to kick me out without a valid reason."

"If you want to come back, then I won't stop you," He says to her with a hoarse voice laced with a hint of adoration, "on one condition."

Noticing his tone, she moves away from him. They have been too close. She shouldn't hug a man like this. But it's not like she's cheating on Sei. This is basic human companionship. She didn't have those feelings. "What is it?"

He laughs when he hears her thoughts. As he has expected, she cares about morals. "You must work hard. I am a pretty strict teacher."

"Don't go back on your words." His gaze is so intense that she can't continue to look at him without feeling anything. She picks up the glass of water and drinks it in one go, trying to cool herself. Then, she can't feel his feelings anymore. This is also unfair, considering how she can't control when he can read her mind but he can control what kind of feelings he's revealing to her. However, feelings can't lie.

"Y-You can't mess with my memories or suppress my abilities without a valid reason. Don't read my mind without a good reason," She continues, still avoiding his amused gaze. This man knows what she's thinking but he can't know what she's feeling. No, she's not feeling anything other than utter distress of having her mind read. 

"Oh, that is difficult." He pinches her nose, turning her face toward him. "My little ghost, I have a good reason to read your mind. I love hearing your thoughts about me. I have already warned you. If you keep saying heartwarming words to me, I will steal you away."

Her heart skips a beat. She blinks her eyes blankly. His laughter fills the air in the room. Wakana finds herself smiling. When she realizes it, she slaps herself. What the hell is she thinking?

"I won't trouble you much." He rubs her head, enjoying every bit of her embarrassment. "Clean up. My sister in law wants to meet you."