Soul Between Lives

-By JSE-

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***Earth***

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Hidden from all the world below, an extremely attractive demoness rides along the air currents looking for her next meal.

*sigh* "Its nothing but greedy businessmen and corrupt government officials going after their rival's secrets these days. Nobody wants to learn something useful anymore. Its all about gaining power. Not even for the sake of learning... Makes me miss the old times. Even those stuffy priests and alchemists were more fun than the kids nowadays."

She looked over at the formation of birds flying along beside her. "You guys ever feel lonely?"

All she got in response from one of the geese was a honking squawk.

She sighed again, "Ah well, time waits for no one."

Shielding her eyes from the glaring sun, the demoness surveyed the world below. "Let's see... there should be someone performing the summoning ritual in that tall building over there." She sped up, leaving the flock of geese behind, as she flew toward a nearby city aiming for the skyscr.a.p.ers downtown.

Just as she was flying over an outlying suburb, a massive etherial shockwave stopped her in her tracks as it swept by her.

"What was that!?" With eyes as wide open, she stared in the direction of the shockwave's origin.

"It feels like something is calling to me." She said out loud as she hung in the air, "Not like a typical summons ritual... it feels more like an invitation." She looked around and saw that none of the other birds or nearby living beings seemed to have even noticed. However, Shadows of the dead and other spirits were coming out of the woodworks and slowly making their way toward the apparent source of the disturbance. "What is this...?" She warily flew forward to investigate.

She stopped over a middle-class house with a messy backyard surrounded by plain grey cinder block walls. In the middle of the yard, a young boy of about seven years old was standing on top of a small tree stump. The ground around him showed signs of recent regular traffic as if the boy had been pacing back and forth and around the stump for some time. The lad himself had his eyes closed like he was concentrating on something while shutting the rest of the world out.

[It came from him? But how?] Keeping her thoughts to herself, the demoness watched the boy with a quizzical look on her face.

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***15 Years later***

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Alex couldn't keep the excitement from his voice as he spoke to Mary while they waited for their food.

"And that's why I think the universe was liquid before the big bang. At least the center of it."

Mary was almost drunk from his presence. Her heart fluttered as she gazed at the curve of his mouth, tracing his smile all the way up to his eyes and was nearly lost for good when they met hers.

Alex couldn't help but frown, "Am I making any sense?"

Mary blinked a few times, "No, I'm," She shook her head to clear it, "You lost me a little there. Could you explain it again?" She smiled to encourage him.

Alex gestured with his hands as if swirling the inside of an invisible ball with his index and middle finger, "I was looking at a picture of what scientists think the inside of a neutron star looks like and there was a layer of liquid inside it."

Mary nodded when Alex looked into her eyes, "I'm with you so far." She told herself to pay better attention to his words this time or she'd look like a fool to him.

"I remembered something I saw on tv before about how water that's supposed to freeze won't if it's under too much pressure and figure that it may be because the pressure is too great for solid molecular structures to form." He made claws with his hands, palms facing each other as he moved them around in small circles as if to simulate the cracking of solid ice molecules.

Mary nodded again when Alex paused to make sure she followed.

"If this happens with water then it could happen with everything and if the center of neutron stars is liquid then other things like black holes could be liquid to, for the same reasons." He looked at Mary again and clenched his hands together, "Then I thought about how the universe will end when all the black holes come together into one supermassive black hole that contains all matter and how the universe before the big bang was probably similar."

Alex spread his arms out to simulate a big explosion, "And if the big bang is true and the center of the universe was liquid at the time, then maybe that explains the pattern of the background radiation that astrologers are studying."

Mary c.o.c.ked her head, "This is where you lost me. What background radiation?"

"Oh, um," Alex bit his lip nearly causing Mary to lose focus again, "I learned how astronomers are able to see the background radiation from the big bang and how the further away they see it, the further back in time they can observe."

Mary smiled, "What do you mean?"

"I forget exactly how it works at the moment but I do remember the patterns they recorded and it looked similar to how a water balloon would explode. In fact," Alex zoned out getting lost in thought.

The hotdog vendor was more patient than Mary, who waited a few moments before she nudged Alex. "You can't just stop there. What were you going to say?"

Alex jerked back into reality and blinked at her a few times, "I was just thinking. This is a real tangent by the way, but what if the universe had a physical shell that was blown far away but those super heavy fragments help keep the universe expanding and just as the universe expands until it starts to contract backwards, back onto itself. What if the universe's expansion is what creates time for us and time will reverse when the universe starts contracting again? Just like Merlin was said to have lived time backwards."

Mary had a completely blank look on her face again.

Alex's cheeks reddened, "I'm." He searched for the words, "Like I said, I was just thinking. I don't have any real logic or proof to support that last bit." Alex laughed self-consciously and reached out for his hotdog.

...

"I know I say some weird things sometimes." Alex looked over at Mary as he tried to convince her that he was still a normal person. "I just find it fun to connect the dots and come up with stuff."

Mary just walked along next to him as they followed the path through the park. It was all she could do to keep a steady pace and not let Alex hear her thumping heart. The blush on her cheeks she reasoned he'd think was just from the chill in the crisp air.

She completely forgot her hotdog as she watched Alex biting into his. Then her mouth moved on its own, her whisper too low for anyone else to hear. "I want you."

She blushed profusely and wanted to hide when she realized what she'd just said. But Alex didn't seem to have heard her. She turned her disappointment into courage and spoke again.

"I want to ---- --x with you." She said, trying to let only Alex hear her.

Alex swallowed and looked away from his hotdog, "Hmm? What'd you say?"

Mary's vivid blush blanched at the edges slightly and she leaned closer, "I want to have --x with you." She repeated loud enough for some of the people walking by to hear. Her blush was painful as she stared at Alex taking another bit of his hotdog.

Alex looked at her in confusion as he chewed. The other day, she had asked him to meet her in the park because she wanted to talk to him about something. He figured it was about work and that she was most likely going to ask him to switch days or cover for her during the upcoming holiday. It was frustrating to Alex how she seemed to mumble or maybe it was more like his brain refused to recognize what she was saying. He wasn't sure.

Mary started frowning but tried again, "I said I want to have s*x with you..."

Alex leaned closer to her as he swallowed, "I'm really having trouble understanding you." He tried to sound diplomatically apologetic.

"I SAID I WANT TO HAVE S*X WITH YOU!" Mary lost her nerve and yelled in trembling desperation. She was really shaking and going for broke.

Alex jerked away, shocked by her unexpected emotional intensity, "Are-, Are you okay?" He had no idea what she was stressing out about. "If its something I can help you with, I'll do what I can."

He ended up asking her the same question he would ask an upset customer where they both worked and she noticed. The look of hurt on her face as warm tears spilled from her eyes shocked Alex speechless.

His long moment of dumbfounded silence only made Mary more worked up, "I HATE YOU!" She cried out before she ran away tossing her untouched hot dog to the ground.

Alex considered running after her to find out what was wrong but felt it wasn't his place to chase her down. If she wanted to be alone he shouldn't force his presence on her like that. He only wished he had understood what she was trying to say. He decided to head back home as he finished his cold hot dog. He'd simply ask her the next time he saw her at work. After she had time to calm down.

He licked the remaining ketchup and mustard before chucking the wrapper in the trash can next to the stairs of his shared apartment.

He enjoyed the independence he felt after moving out of his parents' house but found himself stuck in a dead end job scooping ice cream. He knew he was lucky to have even that during a bad economy but the boss was bad news and having to bend over backwards for the often horrible customers was killing his soul.

He wanted to quit and find a better job but knew his chances were slim. If he tried hard enough and managed to shmooze his way through an interview he could probably get an office job somewhere. But every time he thought about working a nine to five job or holding a career for the rest of his life, his heart and soul would start rebelling. He hated the feeling of being limited and confined or forced into things.

He learned from his teachers back in school that by the time he retired, there'd be no money left in social security because of all the retired baby boomers s.u.c.k.i.n.g the system dry. Those same baby boomers were the ones always looking down on his generation, calling them lazy and spoiled. Even his own parents were always on his back pushing him to get a second soul-s.u.c.k.i.n.g job.

He often found himself on top of the roof, looking up into the sky as he dreamed of living a free life. Not one without worry, but one where he could go where he wanted and do everything that brought him joy.

Later that night Alex went to sleep, thinking about the events of the day and Mary.

...

In a dream surrounded by darkness, the demonic goddess made sweet love to Alex, grinding slowly on top of him. She looked into his eyes with a soft loving smile before leaning forward to hug and kiss him, pressing her body tightly into his embrace. She shuddered and squeezed with desperation as if she wanted even their souls to make love. She continued grinding, softly, slowly in that endless place.