She Is a Daughter Raised As the Son of a Duke

What is he sorry for? What does he regret? Was it because he mistreated me, stole my beads, or poured whiskey over my head? 

Or was it because he mocked me for not being a true Persis descendant?

“Everything I did to you.”

“Why?”

Why is he saying this now?

“I… liked you.”

He hesitated and finally blurted it out.

“I approached you from the beginning because I had an interest in you, and it tortured me even more to deny my feelings for you because you were a man. I’m sorry. I regret it.”

It was a brave apology, but to my ears, it was neither an excuse nor less than that.

“If you didn’t like me, you wouldn’t have apologized.”

“…I’m sorry.”

“You know that feeling can never be fulfilled, right?”

I will never have feelings for the prince.

“I don’t want to get involved with the prince ever again. I’ll join the same knight order, but please stay away from me. I’ll do the same.”

Diego held onto my sleeve as if he wouldn’t let go.

“I… I really made a mistake. I can apologize hundreds or thousands of times. I’m not asking for forgiveness. So…”

Don’t say it as if you’ll never see my face again.

“…I’ll go now.”

When I pulled his hand away, Diego tried to grab me again, but a newly formed silver aura stopped him.

Diego couldn’t hold onto me anymore.

* * *

After letting go of May, Diego stood there blankly.

He had been looking forward to meeting May from the day before until now. Even though he practiced dozens of times how to apologize and confess, when he actually saw her, his mind went blank, and the practiced words didn’t come out.

Her cold demeanor made him feel even more remorseful.

Before leaving Nine, he should have properly apologized and sought forgiveness. That way, he could have had more opportunities to see her, giving him a chance to appeal his charms to her.

Knowing this, he felt pathetic for foolishly missing the chance. He also felt anxious that even if he apologized, she might not have the heart to forgive him.

But he couldn’t grab onto her now. That was Diego’s conclusion after seeing May’s lifeless face.

***

In the reception room, I was there with Stella.

“Dad is a noble of the royal family, so the trial will probably be in our favor. What we hope for is that Clovin gets a life sentence, and that will probably happen.”

“That’s good. He deserves to pay for his crimes.”

“Let’s visit Clovin Penso later. We need to properly apologize for what we did to her to make her enter the Dream Lake.”

“It’s fine. I don’t want to see that face anymore. Let’s consider revenge successful at this point.”

Stella seemed dissatisfied with ending it like this.

“Hey, what if you forgive without receiving a proper apology? Well, if you’re okay with it, then it’s fine.”

I drank the warm milk to soothe my dry throat. But no matter how much I drank, the dryness didn’t go away.

“They say they’ll execute Count Penso and his wife. Well, they caused an incident that could have sparked a war with Kelesha. Even Hestia, who was involved, is being cautious in the royal court.”

“Hestia…”

The knight order she leads is the Third Knight Order. Matherojin Kisel, whom Persis presumes to be her father, belongs to that order.

Stella sighed softly, looking at me as I silently choked on my throat.

“…It’s your birthday tomorrow, May.”

“That’s right. Only 4 hours left.”

Four hours until my birthday. How happy would it be if the family’s power were revealed during that time? Even though I knew it was unlikely, I couldn’t help but harbor futile hope.

“I sent my birthday present to the First Knight Order’s residence. Will you be staying there for a while?”

“Yeah.”

“I sent various cosmetics and accessories, so use them often. You need to release all the grudges you’ve held back until now.”

“Thank you. Oh, it’s getting late, so I should go.”

As I stood up and headed towards the door, Stella called out to me.

“May.”

At her call, I turned back.

“Happy early birthday. And… if you ever feel overwhelmed, come find me.”

“Yeah. Thank you.”

But I couldn’t greet her with a smile like usual.

The night journey alone on the carriage felt lonely. My mind was complex yet not complex, my mood neither bad nor good.

The knight order’s lodging was still unfamiliar. As I entered my assigned room and buried myself in the blankets, I felt like I was truly abandoned in this world.

I couldn’t sleep. Perhaps I wouldn’t be able to close my eyes until midnight.

There was a tiny hope, like a bean, that I clung to.

I barely made it to midnight, hanging onto that tiny hope.

Ding, ding, ding…

After twelve chimes, the unimpressive words “Well, that’s how it is” echoed through the paper as it let go of hope.

I turned sixteen, and in the end, my family’s power didn’t manifest.

* * *

What does it mean to become mature? On my birthday, inside the carriage heading home for the first time in a few weeks, I didn’t feel any emotions.

If I don’t act like a child, then I must have matured. Because I didn’t let emotions take over.

However, I was willing to strangle the author of this novel even if I couldn’t feel any emotions. In my current situation, it seemed like the right thing to do.

Today of all days, the carriage ran smoothly and arrived at Flotina in no time. I wished it could slow down, but it was my fault for not telling the coachman to do so.

Slowly stepping down from the carriage and setting my feet on familiar ground, I looked at the presence that stood tall in the center of the flower garden, Persis Flotina, a presence close yet far away.

We didn’t get any closer and just kept staring at each other from our respective positions.

What is he thinking? Is he contemplating the fact that he doesn’t sense the power of the family from me? Is he, perhaps, recalling the existence of my true father?

I later found out that the Lake of Dreams was originally called the Lake of Truth, but it was renamed a long time ago. Someone who happened to enter that lake denied that what they saw underwater was the truth and insisted it was just a dream.

So, what I saw must have been an actual event. Persis found out that I am not his true daughter and that my true father is alive. Maybe he has already investigated my true father.

The person I knew as my father was not my real father. I hoped that gaining the family’s power would allow me to confront him boldly and make him regret his actions, but it was all just a futile dream. With that thought, a feeling of resignation sprouted within me.

Resigned, I didn’t hold any grudges against anyone. I didn’t even feel any resentment towards him, who had shown harsh words and attitudes towards me.

The distinguished patriarch of Flotina, who had a high reputation, came before me and hugged me. Apart from a few times when I was young, it was a strange embrace.

“Happy birthday.”

The voice offering congratulations sounded weary.

What could have exhausted him? The shock of not being his daughter? The frustration of raising a child who wasn’t his daughter? The anger of spending money on a child who wasn’t his daughter? Unfortunately, it could be all three.

“The reward money for Gliw-gon… has arrived, right?”

In an attempt to prove that him raising me was not a loss in terms of investment, I brought up the topic of the reward money, but he walked back into the flower garden without saying a word.

“May, I have something to talk about. Shall we take a walk?”

“Sure.”

As we strolled through the spacious flower garden together, I kept my gaze down. The lovely flowers didn’t catch my eye, and his words didn’t quite register in my ears.

He recounted one by one the memories from our limited time together. He shared the feelings he had at the time.

He said he felt jealous when Floa cuddled up to him and not to him. He mentioned how he usually didn’t even eat chocolates, but the chocolates I gave him tasted good. He only brought up stories that would make me feel good. It was as if he was trying to hold on to someone who was about to leave.

“I heard they caught Gliw-gon. He wasn’t hurt, right?”

“Yes. About the reward money for Gliw-gon…”

“If I want you to live as my daughter…”

Persis stopped walking and looked at me. His red pupils were shining with deep emotion.

“Is it too much of a greedy desire?”

He asks me, as if spitting out the words he had been holding back. The muscles around his mouth trembled awkwardly as he spoke.

“If I want to treat you well even now, is it selfish of me?”

“….”

“And if I say now that it’s okay that you’re not my blood, does that make me a truly heartless person to you?”

I couldn’t bring myself to answer his questioning words. All the wounds I had received so far were mine, but now the wounds of the world were asking me with faces that had experienced all kinds of pain.

However… I came here to convey something, something that I had to say.

“Do you remember? When I said I would live as Your Highness’ son, and I promised to repay twice the amount spent on raising me if I give up on living as your son halfway.”

“I won’t take it even if you give it to me. I don’t need that kind of money. So don’t think about repaying and leaving.”

“But Your Highness, you said there’s nothing more important to you than managing the household”