She Is a Daughter Raised As the Son of a Duke

When the Count, who had visited for business purposes, was about to leave, I was in the library, attending a class with Lady Attila Yudif. 

“There are separate areas within the empire where monsters appear. Each area has a favorable time for hunting monsters, usually during the summer.”

“Is the place where Dad goes for monster hunting in one of those monster-infested areas?”

“That’s right. Since it’s summer now, His Majesty is probably very busy. People who possess magic power catch monsters themselves and sell them at the top for profit.”

Monsters come in various types. There are monsters used as remedies, and there are monsters that produce gold and treasures. Just capturing one of those monsters can earn a considerable amount of money, so someone like Persis, who possesses immense magical power, would find it easy to make money.

The reason Flotina is wealthy is also because since the days of Passabea, she has caught many monsters and supplied a large quantity to the top.

I focused on the fact that it’s currently summer, and Persis would be extremely busy.

Did I act too childish? Trying to meet busy Persis might have been a big inconvenience for him…

Persis earning money allows me to survive, but it also allows my beloved Ellen and Joan, and even Yohan, to survive.

Thinking that many people’s livelihoods depend on him, I couldn’t help but reflect on whether I was acting too childishly.

Yes, I should apologize.

Even if Persis spoke harshly, if I hadn’t interrupted, this wouldn’t have happened.

After the class ended, a few hours later, I went to find Persis immediately. However, I realized too late that I was solely focused on apologizing.

Come to think of it, isn’t apologizing also taking up his time?

That’s right… this is also an interruption.

I had already reached Persis’ office, but I couldn’t disturb him, so I decided to go back on the path of apologizing later.

But then, it happened. I heard Persis’ voice from inside the office.

“May is useless.”

Without any hesitation, with a rhythmic tone, it pierced through my eardrums.

Useless. Useless. Useless.

Persis’ voice, judging me as useless.

I froze on the spot.

No words came out. No thoughts came to mind. I was engulfed in shock and couldn’t do anything.

I wish I had just run away from there, but I ended up listening to even more cruel words.

“If I were a more rational person, I wouldn’t have brought May from the orphanage.”

It felt like the world was crumbling.

In the overwhelming shock, my mind was not in a stable state, and I couldn’t hear the subsequent sounds of the conversation. For a moment, my memory blanked out, and when I regained my senses, I was running desperately.

To get as far away as possible from Persis’ office. To avoid hearing that cruel voice.

And then, thud! I tripped and fell in the middle of the corridor.

Huh, did my body break down?

Surely, if I had fallen, I should have brushed it off, stood up, and continued forward as if nothing happened. But I couldn’t do that. I just sat down, staying still.

My knees hurt from hitting the floor. It stung, and even the slightest brush against the edge was painful. It seems like I got a bruise.

I am truly weak. I couldn’t be weaker than this. If I were a little stronger, I would have easily stood up again.

At least, I wouldn’t have heard the words “useless.”

In my mind, I recited his voice that couldn’t be erased.

‘If I were a rational person, I wouldn’t have brought you from the orphanage…?’

How could you say such a thing? After bringing me and raising me, how could you say such irresponsible words?

What am I lacking? What am I not good enough at?

‘Original Stella used to be adored without any conditions…’

I never asked Original Stella to treat me as her son. I didn’t get angry, didn’t demand usefulness, I just loved her as she was.

‘But why… why don’t I appeal to you in any way…?’

Why don’t you just love me as I am?

* * *

“May is useless. If I were a more rational person, I wouldn’t have brought May from the orphanage.”

Persis spoke to Heint, who was sitting on the sofa in front of him.

Heint became serious. Persis was pouring out words that would have hurt May if she had heard them, words that were excessive to say to a child, without any remorse.

“To say that a child is useless. How can parents say such things to their child?”

“Because she doesn’t contribute to the family, it’s true that she is useless.”

“You, don’t you know what the problem is? You’re judging a person based on their usefulness. And that, too, to a young child.”

“You won’t suffer if you consider usefulness.”

Heint felt a surge of anger but sighed.

“Fine, let’s evaluate usefulness according to your values. Can you live without that child?”

“… What do you mean?”

“Are you okay with never seeing that child again from this moment on?”

“…”

Persis pursed his lips, as if he wanted to say something, but then closed them again. He didn’t give any answer.

“It’s not right. How can you, as a parent, live without seeing your own child for a lifetime? That’s why you brought May from the orphanage.”

“…”

“And yet she is useless? Isn’t the mere existence of that child useful to you? You can’t live without that child.”

“… I brought her because it’s better to have her by my side than not. The influence that child has on me is not significant enough for me to not be able to live without her.”

It wasn’t true. Considering the fact that he couldn’t lead a normal life after sending May to the orphanage, May’s influence was significant.

However, Persis chose to lie and not let his emotions take over.

“Even so, May is a meaningful presence to you. You even killed the swindlers who laid a hand on May.”

“…”

“So, please don’t speak so emotionlessly. It’s fortunate that Mae isn’t here, otherwise she would have been upset, crying, and still here.”

Unfortunately, Persis did not listen to Heint’s sincere advice.

Whether May was upset or crying, it didn’t matter to him.

Persis had made the decision to live without sentimentality, just like his father.

* * *

I ended up having dinner with Persis in the evening.

It wasn’t planned. I happened to come across Persis while passing through the corridor, and Yohan urged me to have a meal with them, so I ended up coming to the restaurant with him.

Ah, I have no appetite.

Even though there was a luxurious spread of food on the table, I didn’t find it appetizing.

Unlike me, Persis held a fork and knife in his hand, smoothly eating his meal, while I stared blankly into empty space.

Then I asked him.

“What if… If I had said I didn’t want to be brought in the carriage that day, would you have left me behind?”

Persis glanced at me with an expression that seemed to say, ‘What nonsense is this?’

“Are you asking if I would have left you behind if you had said you didn’t want to live as my son?”

That day, when he saved me from almost being sold as a slave. It was mentioning the day when he told me to live as a boy until the power of the family was exerted, before revealing that I would be raised. 

Persis’ answer was simple and clear.

“I guess so.”

After hearing that word, the spot where I had bruised when I fell earlier seemed to ache even more.

Indeed, is my only worth playing the role of a son?

But being a daughter, is not useless to the family, and there is a possibility that I am not his biological daughter either… Stella, the original one, was raised beautifully. And she wasn’t even a biological daughter.

Maybe I could be the biological daughter.

I endured the pain and moved on to the next question. It required courage.

“What if… If I say now that I want to stop playing the role of a son… What would happen to me?”

All the attendants in the restaurant turned their attention to me as I finished my words. Their expressions showed concern.

Because saying that I don’t want to play the role of a son was almost the same as directly saying it. It was a statement that could challenge Persis’ sentiments.

“… Are you saying you want to break our promise?”

“It’s not about breaking the promise-”

I was going to continue and say, ‘If you allow it, I mean I want to live as your daughter,’ but Persis interrupted me and I couldn’t finish my sentence.

“If you’re thinking of breaking the promise, then leave this house.”

In an instant, it felt like the breath of everyone in the restaurant stopped. I truly couldn’t breathe. I had imagined it would come out strongly, but hearing it in reality was more shocking than I had thought.

To the point where I started to dislike myself for having developed feelings for him.

Unable to stay in this place any longer, I finished the meal without taking a bite and stood up.

“I apologize for acting like a child… I’ll leave first.”

As I got up from the chair and walked out of the restaurant, Persis didn’t even spare a glance in my direction.

I walked alone through the corridor. The spacious corridor felt unfamiliar, like an isolated place.

‘May is useless.’

I will prove that his words were wrong when I enter the Order of the Guardians. I will live well on my own, as if to show off.

That’s why I absolutely have to join the Order of the Guardians.

Yohan was worried about May, who didn’t eat anything and got up first, but Persis seemed unconcerned.

Even though he knew that May was hurt by his words, he seemed determined not to care.

He didn’t say anything wrong. So he did nothing wrong.

May learned a sense of responsibility through this incident.

And he rationalized it to himself.