Pandora’s Box

Wei Yuantao was still watching Zhuo Wenyang’s back with a sense of awe and respect, “I actually saw Zhuo Wenyang here! It turns out that Keke wasn’t bragging for you, you really are friends with him!”

He sized me up and asked in amazement, “How did you two know each other? You don’t look like someone from his circle of friends.”

I was about to say something along the lines of, “We were classmates in high school and we had a good relationship,” to show off. However, when I recalled Zhuo Wenyang’s indifference earlier, my words choked up in my throat.

I could only awkwardly say, “Oh, it’s because his father is friends with mine, and there are people in my family related to them.”

“Ah yes, so there is something,” Wei Yuantao came back to his senses and immediately said grimly, “Where’s the address Yuan Keke sent? Hurry up and give it to me!”

His admiration for Zhuo Wenyang was completely overshadowed by his infatuation for Yuan Keke.

When Wei Yuantao anxiously dragged me away from home, I glanced at Zhuo Wenyang who was in the living room.

He lowered his eyelashes expressionlessly, as if he didn’t even care to raise his eyes.

I was no longer in the mood to eat late at night, but thinking that I had to shoulder the responsibility of helping out to match these two single dogs together, I managed to pull myself together.

To be honest, I didn’t think Wei Yuantao and Yuan Keke were a good match because they were completely different from each other.

However, Wei Yuantao was innocent, his character wasn’t bad, and he was also good to his friends. Aside from having a sense of superiority, there wasn’t any other problem. I still wanted to give him and Yuan Keke, who was single, a chance.

What if they could produce sparks?

Yet, when I was eating, the only sparks I felt were ones igniting in my heart.

Wei Yuantao’s face was blank, eating crayfish in front of him numbly and not talking to Yuan Keke at all. Even though I tried my best to bring up topics for him and every means to encourage Yuan Keke to ask him questions, he still did not answer.

This guy, who usually pretended to be cold and arrogant but privately animated, was a total dunce in front of Yuan Keke.

Yuan Keke didn’t think much of him, and rather complained to me about her new methods of making money.

I couldn’t help but called out Wei Yuantao from the corner of my eye, “Don’t just eat crayfish. Save a few for Keke. Why don’t you peel some for her?”

Wei Yuantao immediately stopped all movements, as if his program suspended, and sat there sluggishly.

I couldn’t stand his stupidity. I stuffed a roasted corn into his hand and he continued to nibble silently.

“……”

I felt my blood pressure increasing and said, “I’m going to buy milk tea. Keke, what do you want to drink? Do you want lemon tea? Wei Yuantao, come with me.”

After leaving Yuan Keke’s line of sight, Wei Yuantao came to his senses as if he was liberated from mind control, wailing, “It’s over. Did I act badly just now?”

“What do you think?” Like him, I hated how he was like an iron that couldn’t transform into steel. “It’s fine to eat by yourself, but you picked the most expensive ones! Are you really that greedy?”

“It’s not like I mean to,” Wei Yuantao explained sadly, “I was just too nervous; I can only keep eating the food closest to me and I don’t care what it is!”

“That’s fine, Keke probably thinks that you have a low EQ and don’t know how to be polite, let alone take care of girls. She ordered three catties of crayfish in total and all of them will be eaten by you alone.”

“What should I do?” Wei Yuantao was at a loss, “Is it too late for me to spit it out now?”

“…..” Love did really require intellect.

“Wait, let me create a chance for you so you can send her back.”

Wei Yuantao’s eyes lit up, “Is that possible? Is she willing?”

“…amongst my classmates, I generally drop her off. What’s there to refuse? Don’t feel guilty. On the way, take the opportunity to talk to her more,” I encouraged him, “You can do it!”

After I bought the milk tea, I told Yuan Keke when I got back, “It’s late, wait for Brother Tao to see you off.”

Yuan Keke was a little surprised, “Ah? Is that convenient?”

“He came here by car so what’s the inconvenience,” I said, “It’s only inconvenient for me since I have to ride a shared-city bicycle home, but don’t mind it!”

When I took my time on the bicycle back home, Wei Yuantao’s call came.

His voice sounded like a concubine, “I didn’t say a word to her.”

“…aren’t you usually good at talking?”

He dejectedly said, “I’ve never been alone with her. My mind was blank and I couldn’t think of what to say.”

I was astounded by him, “Ah what’s wrong with you? You weren’t so useless in front of other girls!”

“That’s different,” Wei Yuantao said, “She’s Yuan Keke.”

“…..” I went to Yuan Keke to insinuate, “Wei Yuantao just acted abnormally tonight, haha.”

Yuan Keke replied, “Huh? Is it abnormal? Isn’t he always like this?”

“…really?” How could it end up even worse?

“He’s just cold; native people from T City are like this so I’m used to it.”

“Actually, if you get to know him better, you’ll find that he’s not so cold. He’s quite funny.”

“That’s because he’s not very cold to you. I just wanted to say I accepted his ride out of politeness and so, I had to find something to talk about. In the end, he only said ‘mm’ twice,” Yuan Keke said, “He won’t talk to a country bumpkin like me since we’re not the same type of people.”

“…..”

This was too miserable, Wei Yuantao.

I wanted to cry and laugh, realizing that there were people in this world who experienced a more miserable crush than me. This helped me calm down a little.

After that day, Zhuo Wenyang disappeared from home for a while. I could only think that he was no longer willing to make an appearance wherever I was at. He only reluctantly came for Cheng Yichen’s sake.

Recalling back then, Cheng Yichen smiled and said to me before, “Wenyang is willing to come because of you.”

At that time, I was so flattered and overjoyed.

I thought Zhuo Wenyang once sincerely wanted to be friends with me.

It was me who screwed everything up.

I thought maybe happiness was supposed to be conserved. Because I took in too much happiness that night, I could only repay it back with longterm unhappiness.

Logically speaking, the postgraduate entrance exam would be in half a year. I had been ambitiously preparing for it since last year, and now it was time for the sprinting stage. One must concentrate on studying during summer vacation, and you could only do it by hanging onto the beam.

However, ever since Zhuo Wenyang stopped coming to the house, apart from happiness, it seemed like he also took away my ability to learn.

Even if I tried to force myself to open books everyday, my mind was still in a mess and I couldn’t learn at all.

I knew in my heart that I was not study material and studying hard was excruciating for mere mortals like me.

Zhuo Wenyang was the only motivation that allowed me to overcome this pain. Once he alienated me, I would lose that support and no longer have the incentive and ability to challenge myself.

The books and materials that I prepared to study astronomy with had become a burden as a display on the table–I couldn’t study. Playing games everyday instead would only make me feel more ashamed. Thus, I put them away and locked them in the cabinet.

I was only able to see Zhuo Wenyang again due to Cheng Yichen’s birthday party.

On his birthday, Cheng Yichen didn’t want it to be extravagant and would rather celebrate casually at home.

That being said, of course it couldn’t be “casual.” My dad and others specially flew to T City for this purpose and brought carefully selected gifts.

Ke Luo, a recent resident of S City and overseer for Lu Feng’s local branch, also rushed back. Lu Feng reserved the head chef of a restaurant that Cheng Yichen liked but thought was too expensive, asking him to bring his assistants and ingredients to cook in person.

Everyone rejoiced and anticipated gathering together.

I was so grateful for this day. Because everyone would naturally feel happy on this day, no one would want to destroy this festive atmosphere. This was a very good time to get close to Zhuo Wenyang.

I was looking forward to it.

When Zhuo Wenyang’s figure appeared in the living room, I only felt my heart beating.

It had been some time since we’ve last seen each other. I’ve accumulated a lot of words I wanted to say to him, but all the energy in my body concentrated in my chest, swirling nervously and wildly. So much so that I didn’t even have the strength to utter a word from my throat.

I could only look at him desperately and greedily. It was as if I wanted to make up for the fact that I hadn’t seen him these days so I wanted to see him all at once.

He appeared to be slightly thinner and his face displayed exhaustion. He must had been very busy recently.

Yet, none of it marred his appearance. He was still very tall with great posture, and handsome with a clean and cool look.

I stared at him idiotically. Fortunately, he didn’t notice my gaze and only concentrated on talking to Cheng Yichen.

There was a smile on his face as he spoke and then he raised his head, scanning other guests in the room. As his eyes were about to land on me, someone patted my shoulder, “Hi!”

“…..” It was Ke Luo.

“What do you want to drink? I’m going to ask someone to bring drinks over later.”

“…whatever you want.” I wanted to drink your blood alive.

Ke Luo asked again, “Have you been in touch with Lee recently?”

“Ah yeah, what’s up?”

“Did you know he’s in a new relationship?”

“Who doesn’t know. When he has nothing to do, he’d show off his new lover in his circle of friends and forces us dog food. Good thing that I’m already blind.”

Ke Luo said, “Let’s talk later.”

During the meal, I failed to sit next to Zhuo Wenyang like I wished.

Ke Luo was on my left while Cheng Yi Chen and my dad were on my right. The young man in white that I’d been thinking about day and night was sitting diagonally from me, out of reach.

The humongous tabletop was fully extended and separated us like a dark ocean. I watched as he talked with Cheng Yi Chen gently and patiently, responding to my dad politely and kindly with a sincere smile.

I really envied Cheng Yi Chen and even envied my dad. I was not greedy. I just wanted to be treated well by Zhuo Wenyang again.

Cheng Yi Chen brought me food from time to time, carefully asking me about school affairs. I could feel his efforts in trying to build a good relationship with me, and I couldn’t bear to reject his hospitality on such occasions.

After dealing with this, Ke Luo came to me to spill his troubles — Lee recently had a heated fight with his new lover named Shao Yan. He felt that Shao Yan was very problematic.

“I had dinner with them,” Ke Luo said, “Guess what, he was courteous to me the entire time, even sending me messages here and there after he got back.”

“What the hell, he actually wants to flirt with you?”

“Yes, he also asked me out for a drink alone.”

“…..” I said, “That man is seriously sick. You have to immediately tell Lee!”

Ke Luo shook his head, “I told him but he didn’t believe me. He said I just wanted to ruin his happy life.”

“Then I’ll go-”

Ke Luo immediately interjected, “You can’t talk to him about this or he’ll only think I’m bad mouthing.”

“…..” Lee was a smart person who had been in relationships for numerous years so he wouldn’t easily fall in love like a first-time girl. I really trusted his emotional intelligence in cases like this.

However, he had behaved abnormally ever since he colluded with Tong Shan and had an accident a while ago. And I had no idea why.

“If he initiates in showing affection in front of you, you can try to feel it out,” Ke Luo said, “I’m not jealous. I just don’t want him to easily trust others. Something is really wrong with Shao Yan and he’s not so simple.”

When I finally finished chatting with Ke Luo, I mustered up the courage to walk in the direction of Zhuo Wenyang.

He stood by the window in the corner, quietly watching his father chatting and joking with relatives and friends from a distance. He appeared incredibly lonely, and with his long legs, he looked like a crane that was destined to be alone in this world.

After a while of churning words in my throat, I finally said the lines that I had been brewing all night, “Are you busy these days? You didn’t even come for dinner.”

He turned his head to look at me and nodded slightly, “Yes, a lot has happened recently.”

I nervously analyzed the information in his expression and tone. He seemed a little uncomfortable but was not disgusted or displeased.

“Yeah, you look very tired.”

He froze for a brief moment, raising his hand to touch his face, and said, “Do I look bad?”

“No, no, no, that’s not what I meant.”

I hated myself for not being able to converse well, so I quickly changed the subject, “Uncle Chen is very happy today.”

His expression softened, “Well, my dad likes everyone gathering together.”

I took the courage and struck while the iron was hot, “Then if you are free, come more often.”

He froze again and said, “I-”

The phone rang in the most untimely manner in my trouser’s pocket and I had to take it out; it was Wei Yuantao.

“…..” Although it was rather annoying, he wouldn’t call if he had nothing to do.

While hesitating, Zhuo Wenyang asked, “Aren’t you going to answer?”

I had to press the answer button. Wei Yuantao’s voice sounded like howling ghosts and wolves; it was deafening.

“What to do, what to do! I’m done! I’m going to die!”

Instantly, this exaggerated wailing caused my scalp to tingle out of embarrassment. I quickly covered my phone with one hand, walked quickly to the balcony outside, and asked, “What’s wrong?”

He was out of breath. “My dad found a new tutor for my brother!”

“That’s what’s wrong? That’s nothing new.” I knew his brother was quite misbehaved and couldn’t retain a tutor for long.

Out of breath, he said, “I came back tonight and met her. It’s Yuan Keke.”

“…..”

Meeting Yuan Keke on a short notice at home may be a bit much for him.

“What to do, what to do! I couldn’t say a word just now and I think I’m lacking oxygen…” Wei Yuantao gasped and asked, “Should I talk to her? Will she feel embarrassed? Or pretend not to know her? Will she think I’m rude?”

“…..”

I spent half a day giving advice to Wei Yuantao, who was overwhelmed with panic and excitement, before returning to the living room.

The mood in the living room was very good, as Cheng Yi Chen was sitting on floor, playing the guitar. I didn’t even know he could play the guitar, and he played it very well.

He played a musical piece that sounded strange to me, but also beautiful. My dad hummed along to the melody and his singing wasn’t that bad.

Cheng Yichen sat cross-legged opposite from them with Lu Feng next to him, leaning against the sofa with his head slightly tilted and smiling mesmerizingly.

This old-fashioned gathering looked so serene and happy.

Zhuo Wenyang was still standing in his original position, but it was hard to continue the interrupted conversation.

I chuckled twice, “I’m sorry, Wei Yuantao asked me about something.”

He looked at me with questioning eyes.

As I was about to elaborate, I remembered that Wei Yuantao had repeatedly told me not to let anyone know about his secret crush on Yuan Keke. In order to be worthy of Brother Tao’s trust, I could only laugh it off, “A small personal thing.”

He let out a “mm.”

For a while, we had nothing to say.

The air froze for a moment and I said, “That’s right, I passed all my tests. Thank you for helping me study at the end of the semester.”

“You’re welcome, that should be the case.”

“Haha, without you, I’m afraid I’d be left hanging like a kite for a long time.”

He didn’t answer and he didn’t smile.

My heart sank.

He suddenly said, “Excuse me.” Then, he turned around and wanted to leave.

I hurriedly called him, “Zhuo Wenyang!”

His footsteps paused.

I stopped him but I didn’t know what to say. Instead, I said, “Zhuo Wenyang, I’m giving up the cross-professional postgrad entrance exam.”

He turned his head, looked at me, and nodded, “I can tell. It’s also the right choice.”

I scratched my head in embarrassment, “I’m not study material and I think it’s more appropriate for me to find a job right after graduation.”

“Well, there’s nothing wrong with getting a job early.”

After a moment of silence, I worked up all my courage again.

“Zhuo Wenyang, I’m very sorry.”

He was a little surprised, “What?”

“I don’t know exactly what I did wrong, but I can tell that you don’t want to talk to me so it must be my fault,” I anxiously explained, “Sometimes I don’t mean it. Sometimes I don’t seriously think, but either ways, I don’t mean any harm. I am stupid so if I make you angry, I hope you can tell me, remind me and let me correct it. Please forgive me.”

He was quiet for a very long time. So long that I thought time had stopped.

Finally, he softly said, “No, you don’t need to apologize. You especially don’t need to apologize to me.”

“…..”

“It’s not your problem; it’s never been your problem.”

If it weren’t for his expression, I would have thought these words were said out of anger.

He looked strangely sad and heartbroken.

And I couldn’t understand this emotion.

However, what I did understand was that he rejected me. In any case, these were all answers that were known to reject from thousands of miles away.

He decided to close the door that was once opened to me.