Not So Confident

Yi Fei let out a tired sigh. There were too many things going on in her life within the span of two days, and she felt overwhelmed.

But when hasn't she? She derisively snickered. There wasn't a solid moment of peace, whether it would be external or internal. Perhaps it was just her, her anxious self preventing her from finding peace even in her chaotic dreams. Was this Yi Fei's comfort zone? A place where she couldn't be comfortable, no matter what position she took?

'How ironic,' Yi Fei wistfully thought. 'Really... really ironic.'

"MR. ZHANG'S DAUGHTER!!!" A cheerful shout came from another hallway.

Yi Fei hurriedly turned her head toward the voice's direction. Why were people in this office always screaming at each other?

When she looked at the intersection, she saw a perky girl wearing pink jeans and a fairly white tank top. The girl's shoulder-length hair bounced like cotton and she lovingly jumped at Yi Fei, going in for a big hug.

Yu Yan.

"I heard you're now a trainee!" She said, a wide grin spreading across her face. "Congrats!"

Yu Yan tightly hugged Yi Fei. She gave enough space for Yi Fei to breath as her rough and impulsive hug was rather difficult to take on. It was awfully warm and gentle in between Yu Yan's arms, and Yi Fei knew this was Yu Yan's way to make her feel welcomed.

But Yi Fei couldn't respond in kind.

She tensed up, her fingers slightly starting to shake. By the time she knew it, her whole body was terribly convulsing from this brisk moment of contact. Almost automatic, Yi Fei f.o.r.c.i.b.l.y pushed Yu Yan off and started heaving loudly and strongly. Unnatural pants transpired from her mouth, and her unsteady pupils rocked from place to place.

Stress intensely marked her forehead, shock sweeping over her murky eyes. The last time she received a hug was almost a decade ago. And that hug...

"Hey, are you okay?" Yu Yan asked, tenderly rubbing Yi Fei's back. She wasn't faltered one bit by being pushed to the ground.

'F**k, not now.' Yi Fei cursed. 'Don't you f**king dare do it here, in front of Yu Yan.'

"F, f, ff-fine," Yi Fei muttered incomprehensibly. "Wa... w-water."

"Okay! I'll be right back, stay here!" Yu Yan said reassuringly, hastily running to a nearby water cooler.

'Okay, goddamit.' Yi Fei thought to herself as she tried making slower breaths. 'Yu Yan is trying to be nice, but she's gonna be f**king burdened and creeped out. So, get your sh*t together, Yi Fei.'

"Hahhh, hah, hahhh," Yi Fei vocalized. She was trying her best to calm herself down, she didn't want to look like a deadbeat clown in front of her potential friend.

"Here! I got you some water!" Yu Yan passed her a cup.

Yi Fei rashly took the plastic cup and gulped it down. A chilled out m.o.a.n escaped her lips, a bead of sweat rolling down her forehead.

"Th-thanks," Yi Fei said. "And sor... s-sorry."

"Why are you sorry? I should be the one apologizing!" Yu Yan smiled. "I hugged you too tight, right? I've had a lot of people tell me I hug too tight, and I try to reduce it... but I guess I still need to work on it!"

Yu Yan's happy-go-lucky attitude slightly uplifted Yi Fei's mood. But... Yi Fei knew that Yu Yan was just saving Yi Fei face with her words. It was way too obvious. Her mouth was awkwardly twitching as she lied.

'All this over a hug...' Yi Fei thought. 'A f**king hug.'