81 | Two Trains
Pang Pang, can you hug me for a moment?

Despite his years, Jackie Chan was jumping over obstacles and fighting for his life on the screen. Crashes and explosions sounded down to Pang Qian and Gu Mingxi’s ears, but it was as if they couldn’t hear it. Throughout the second half of the movie, Pang Qian kept holding onto Gu Mingxi’s waist, her head cradled in his arms, as she stared into the distance. The two of them didn’t speak until the movie ended.

When they left the movie theater, the sun was setting in the west. Gu Mingxi and Pang Qian stood on the sidewalk, not too far from the metro station. Gu Mingxi said, “Pang Pang, it’s pretty late. I have to go.”

Pang Qian grabbed onto his shirt, but couldn’t find a reason to make him stay. She said, “Let’s have dinner together.”

Gu Mingxi said, ” No need. The holiday starts tomorrow, aren’t you going home?”

Pang Qian immediately shook her head. She looked at him and said, “It’s okay if I don’t go back. Gu Mingxi, are you going to stay in Shanghai tomorrow? If you stay, we can go to Zhouzhuang or Xitang (water towns). They’re both pretty close.”

He didn’t say anything for a long time. Then he said, “Okay, let’s have dinner. Can we go back to your school to eat? I want to eat at your school’s cafeteria.”

Pang Qian nodded. “Mm, our cafeteria has really good food.”

On their way back to her school, the sky darkened. It was the day before the long holiday, so a lot of students from Shanghai and nearby towns were heading back home. There were a lot of students with some luggage walking around the campus. Pang Qian and Gu Mingxi walked very slowly, and she gave him a tour of the things they saw along the way.

SHUFE’s campus was small, with narrow roads and old buildings. But it was very clean, elegant, and tranquil. The trees were flourishing, the grass was green, the lake was clear. It was all very tasteful.

When they reached the “aim for the sky” statue, Gu Mingxi stopped in his steps. The statue wasn’t very large. On top of a stone, there was an eagle with its wings spread wide. He turned his head up to look at that eagle until Pang Qian said, “Hurry, the cafeteria will be out of food if we’re too late.” Gu Mingxi pulled back his gaze.


 

Most of the buildings at SHUFE had gray walls with red tiles. The cafeteria was no different. The cafeteria was very large. When Pang Qian and Gu Mingxi headed inside, they caught a number of eyes.

Pang Qian ordered two meals. Sweet and sour ribs, stir-fried cabbage, spicy chicken, and eggplant with black bean sauce. Then she also ordered two fried eggs for Gu Mingxi.

After ordering a big meal, she said, “You’re too thin, you should eat more. The next time I see you, you have to gain some weight.”

At the table, Pang Qian brought chopsticks and pulled out wet napkins from her bag. She sat down next to Gu Mingxi and helped him clean his feet.

Someone walked past them, and when they saw Pang Qian, they gave a greeting. “Crab, you didn’t go home?”

Pang Qian looked up and smiled. “Mm, my friend came to see me, so we’re going to hang out for a few days.”

The person glanced over to Gu Mingxi and asked with a strange tone, “Boyfriend?”

Pang Qian blinked her eyes and said, “Is there a reason he can’t be?”

Gu Mingxi listened to their conversation, and waited until the person left before lifting his foot up to the table. He picked up his chopsticks and started eating.

Pang Qian kept adding food to his meal box from her own. She said, “Try this, it’s really good.”

“I have enough. You should eat some.”

“I’m losing weight.”

“You’re already thin, why do you need to lose weight?” Gu Mingxi frowned and looked at her. “Girls shouldn’t just casually lose weight. It’s not healthy.”

“I know, you’re so annoying.” Pang Qian said that, but a smile was plastered to her face. She asked Gu Mingxi, “Is our cafeteria’s food tasty?”

“Yeah.”

“Does the food at B University taste good?”

“…” Gu Mingxi had eaten from the cafeteria a few times. He shook his head. “Not really.”

“No wonder you’ve gotten so thin. Don’t be picky.” Pang Qian became antsy. “Even if you don’t like to eat it, you should still eat it.”

Gu Mingxi lifted his head to look at her and smiled. “I know. I’ll make sure to eat well.”

Pang Qian smiled. She pouted and asked, “So about what I said earlier. Let’s go to Zhouzhuang. I’ve never been there.”

Gu Mingxi thought for a moment, and then nodded, “Mm.”

Pang Qian bit her chopsticks and smiled happily. “Then it’s set.”

After they ate dinner, the sky was entirely dark. Pang Qian and Gu Mingxi were walking leisurely around the campus. For the first time, Gu Mingxi brought up Pang Qian’s studies. He said, “I thought about what you said, wanting to work for two years after graduation before going back to study some more. It makes a lot of sense, but wouldn’t that be harder to get into the school program later? Your school has more students who go straight into postgraduate studies. Why don’t you try to get a research position?”

“I’m considering it for my major,” Pang Qian said. “You should know, the kind of work you do depends on your major, and the salary is really different. At the time, I just picked whatever undergraduate major to study, I didn’t really understand it much then. If I’m going to study more later, I should understand the field of study a bit more. I’m not just studying it to get the degree. Gu Mingxi, do you know. The girl I mentioned, the one who came back to study, she used to work for one of the big four (Deloitte, PwC, EY, KPMG) and her salary was more than 200 thousand. But after she finishes her postgrad, she said it could jump up to 500 thousand. And if she goes to study in the US, ah, I don’t even dare to imagine!”

“Mm, you really did consider a lot.” Gu Mingxi nodded, and then he smiled. “Pang Pang, you’re very good now.”

“?” Pang Qian didn’t understand. “What’s very good?”

He said, “Everything. Serious, hardworking, forging forward. You don’t just think about eating and drinking anymore. You can think about your future now.”

Pang Qian beat him. “What do you mean eat and drink! You think I’m a pig?!”

Oddly enough, Gu Mingxi didn’t try to dodge her attacks like he would have in the past. Pang Qian’s fist really hit his body. “Ah!” she cried, before quickly massaging him. “You idiot, why didn’t you move.”

He smiled and his two canine teeth slipped out. “It’s been more than a year since you’ve hit me. I’m happy to take it.”

She unhappily cried out, “Who was hitting you?!”

They headed out to the school gate, the place they’d met up at in the morning. Under the streetlights, Gu Mingxi looked at Pang Qian’s face. There were a lot of things he wanted to say to her, but he didn’t know how he could start.

He wanted to tell her not to stay up late. Sleeping and waking up earlier was good for your health.

He wanted to tell her not to eat too much from the street food stalls. Those foods weren’t healthy. Of course, having a bite every now and then was okay. Also, don’t eat too many sweets, because you’re more likely to get cavities and it affects your body too.

He wanted to tell her that over the holidays, don’t eat very cold or spicy foods, or your stomach will hurt a lot. Drink a bit of warm brown sugar water and don’t cause any trouble.

He wanted to tell her that her parents were getting older, so she should learn some things. Don’t talk back to your parents when you go home, and help them with the house chores. You never know if they’ll suddenly just fall down one day.

He wanted to tell her that if there was a decent guy pursuing her that she could try going on a date with him. You’re almost 20 years old, your parents won’t say anything about it. Of course, as a girl, you have to be smart with these things and protect yourself.

He wanted to tell her, Pang Qian, you’re a really good girl. You love life so much, of course things will work out for you later. You will have a happy and fulfilling life, a wonderful family, a desirable job, a healthy body, and lastly, a simple and joyous heart.

You’ll have a busy job, but you’ll have two weeks off to go on vacation with your husband and child. You’ll have a table full of makeup and a closet full of beautiful clothes and shoes. You’ll have your own circle of friends, your own best friends, and you’ll go for walks on the weekends, go out to eat, play a few games of ping pong.

You’ll have a large house, a duplex or even a townhouse. You’ll raise a dog, plant lots of flowers, and when the sun shines into your room, you’ll wrap your arms around your pillow and sit on the floor to happily play with your child.

He wanted to tell her a lot of things, but in the end, he only said one thing, “Pang Pang, can you hug me for a moment?”

How could Pang Qian leave him disappointed? She opened her arms and wrapped them around him, her heart happy and complete. She could smell his familiar scent, and with her face against his chest, she felt the warmth of his body. She said, “Tomorrow morning at 8:30, right here. Let’s meet for sure.”

Gu Mingxi closed his eyes and rested his chin on her head as he said, “But you can’t promise your life on it again (last time, she said she’d get run over by a car if he didn’t show up).”

“Mm!” She was very at ease, a big grin on her face.

Finally, Pang Qian released her hold and sent him to a taxi. Gu Mingxi sat in the backseat and watched Pang Qian smile and wave at him, “Gu Mingxi, see you tomorrow.”

“Pang Pang, goodbye.” He looked at her and curved his lips up into an especially good looking smile.
– – –

Shark sent Gu Mingxi to the train station and gave him his sleeper ticket.

Before he left, he said, “Are you sure you’re going to cut off contact from Little Crab?”

Gu Mingxi nodded. “She and I… We’re not really anything. To be honest, I was really worried about her at first. I was worried that without me by her side, she’d get bullied by others. But I realize now that in this past year, she’s been doing really well, much better than I’d imagined. I didn’t give her enough credit. She’s a smart girl. She knows how to take care of herself and how to fight for the things she wants. So I think that I can leave without any worries.”

Shark didn’t understand, “That doesn’t mean you have to stop contacting her. You can always still be friends.”

“Shark, let me give you an analogy.” Gu Mingxi turned to look at him and said calmly, “Pang Qian and I, we’re two trains on different tracks. In the past, I was a bit faster than her. Since we were both moving forward, she could never catch up to me. So sometimes I would stop to wait for her. Then one day, we came to a fork in the road. There was nothing we could do but continue on our own paths. I kept telling myself that as we headed forward, I might still be able to meet with her somewhere along the way. And then we could both move forward on our tracks together. Maybe she thought the same way too. But as time passed and we kept moving forward, we realized that the tracks we were moving on didn’t turn back. They only went straight, moving forward in two different directions. The further we move forward, the further apart we would get. And her speed kept growing faster, while mine got slower and slower. I realized that even if I could break the train track and make it turn to go in the same direction as her, I probably… wouldn’t be able to catch up.”

Shark, “…”

“Ahead of her, there will be many other trains that she can travel the same journey with. If I stay behind her, dragging her down, she’ll always feel a bit reluctant. It will affect the progress of her own journey. So I felt that it would be best to just cut off contact with her.”

Shark asked, “Then what if one day, you were able to catch up?”

“If such a day really comes…” Gu Mingxi smiled and shook his head. “I don’t even dare to dream of it. I still have to figure out how to get my mom better and more reliable treatment.”

Shark sent Gu Mingxi to the station’s entrance and he gave the young man a hug. “I promise you that I won’t disclose your whereabouts to Crab, but you have to promise that you won’t cut off contact with me. If you run into troubles, make sure to call me.”

Gu Mingxi nodded, “I promise.”

Shark gave Gu Mingxi a pat on the back. “That’s good. Kid, have a safe journey. Take care of yourself.”
– – –

Pang Qian we excited all night and couldn’t sleep. She grabbed Yang Lu and talked to her for half the night. “I’m in love.”

When morning cam, Pang Qian got dressed nicely. It was the 55th anniversary of the founding of the nation (PRC was formed in 1949), a time to celebrate. Pang Qian wore a pretty dress and headed to the school gate. She was smugly wearing a straw hat, the crab keychains she’d bought the previous day hanging on her bag. She originally wanted to give one to Gu Mingxi and keep one for herself, but he was in a rush to leave so she’d forgotten.

But Gu Mingxi didn’t show up. She only saw Shark leaning on his car, smoking a cigarette.

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