Monster Princess

“This… Was it your mother’s belonging?”

“Yes, that’s right…! Did you know that, too?”

I smiled coldly in front of the child wiggling her hands with her cheeks reddened.

First, I returned the hideous necklace in my hand to Judith.

“It’s in good condition. I want to talk more, but I have to go because I have an appointment.”

“Oh, I see. You’re busy, but I interrupted you.”

Judith quickly showed a sad face.

“No… It wasn’t a bad time. I’m often busy with other official duties, so I rarely had a chance to talk like this.”

I looked at the maids behind Judith in order to hide my cold eyes.

“Oh no, I forgot to accept your greeting. You can get up.”

“Th, thank you, 1st Princess.”

The maids, who were shaking in an uncomfortable state with their knees bent halfway, stumbled and straightened up. I said that, but they probably noticed that I did it on purpose.

“See you then, Judith.”

Judith hesitated for a moment, licked her lips, then greeted me with a faint smile.

“Yes. Thank you for your precious time.”

Her face was filled with regret. I left without promising a next meeting.

* * *

I couldn’t figure out what spirit I greeted Judith with and passed by her.

The sunlight was bright, but my back was cold for no reason.

It didn’t change anything to confirm once again that the contents of the book I saw in my dream were not false. Still, one thing was certain.

I found it. I finally found it.

How to cure my illness.

The child that’s needed there.

Since I saw the red-haired boy in the greenhouse and realized his identity, I had a terrible idea deeply rooted in my heart.

I repeated what I did in the future several times in the book and remembered it. Before I knew it, I was thinking of making it a reality.

‘In the end, failure was the problem. So this time I can make it succeed.’

I felt sick of the coldness, selfishness, and cruelty that I didn’t even know I have.

‘The fact that the other side of the world has shown me such a future is obviously what it means to find a way to succeed in forbidden magic this time.’

Even now, under the bright sunlight, my hands were trembling. Although forbidden magic is considered a felony… I…

“First Princess.”

At that moment, I reflexively raised my head at the low voice that flowed under the parasol.

My heart rattled like a child who was caught doing something wrong. But soon, I realized who was in front of me and unwinded my strength from my shoulders.

“Mother.”

The moment I saw my mother’s face, my cold frozen heart was filled with surprise instead of anxiety.

‘Right now, did mother call me first?’

I looked around, but there was no one except for my mother, me, and the maids who followed us.

The last time I visited the empress’ palace, I turned around after seeing my mother from a distance, so it’s been a long time since the two of us faced like this. In addition, it was the first time in almost a few years that my mother talked to me without being aware of the eyes of others.

“Mother, good afternoon. Are you out for a walk?”

Like an idiot, I got a little excited. Despite the fact that I cut my hair with my own hands and made up my mind, the moment I stood in front of my mother like this, I became her little daughter again.

The fact that for some reason my mother was not with Millium today also lifted my spirits.

Did she come out on purpose to see me? Did mother hear about the greenhouse?

There were many people who asked me how I was after hearing that an escaped heretic was found in front of my greenhouse.

‘If that’s the case… …Can I tell mother, too?’

I have a huge burden in my heart that I can’t bear alone, and I don’t know what to do.

“Mother, I…”

“Are you out of your mind?”

But what fell to me was a cold voice.

“When I first heard the rumors of your behavior, I thought my ears were wrong.”

From some point on, my mother’s eyes became cold when she looks at me. It was the same today.

“I wondered what the hell kind of wind was blowing. Now that I see it, you seem to have forgotten about your behavior as a princess because you were trying to get along with that vulgar thing.”

I realized it late at the voice of reprimanding. Come to think of it, even today, my mother never smiled at me from the moment she first saw me.

“No, mother. Judith is….”

I opened my mouth to make excuses because it seems like she saw me talking with Judith a while ago. But I closed my mouth again without saying a word. This is because I suddenly felt ridiculous.

“You are the First Princess of Camiullita, my daughter, and Millium’s sister. So, let us behave well so that we will not be ashamed.”

My mother gave me a cold lesson to the very end and passed me by as if there was no regret.

“Princess…”

Even after the footsteps had completely disappeared, Marina called me, who was standing still. It was a worried voice. At that time, I feel lucky to be a princess. Everyone is standing behind me, so no one can see my face.

“Marina, what’s next?”

And even in moments like this, I thought I could make up my voice as casually as possible.

“You have to visit the tailor’s office for the last day of the hunting festival.”

“Alright, let’s go.”

After answering calmly, as if nothing happened a while ago, I moved forward.

As I was walking down the hallway, I saw a small ladybug sitting on the floor. I could have avoided it enough, but I didn’t do it and stomped on it mercilessly. A corner of my heart shattered with the crunching sound.

***

“Princess, if you move suddenly, you may get hurt.”

Count Levelyn, one of the imperial tailors, nearly stabbed me with a needle several times while sewing a hunting outfit.

Even while I was standing still, entrusting myself to the maids, I was still thinking about other things in my head.

‘In the future written in that book, how old was Judith when her magical powers were awakened.’

Fifteen years old? Sixteen years old?

Judith is twelve now, so it wouldn’t take that long.

‘…So would it be better to get rid of them all now?’

For the first time in my life, I felt a sincere murderous intention that I didn’t even know existed within me.

I was terrified at having a terrifying thought. However, the surprise towards myself was soon devoured by dark emotions and crumbled.

I don’t know when the hell I became such a funny and insignificant person.

He said, ‘I am proud of having you as my daughter’ and ‘You are Camiullita’s only treasure’‘, but in the end, my father treated me like a hunting dog that would always be used when I was needed.

It was my role to raise respect for the imperial family by demonstrating large-scale magic in front of the people at every national event, and it was also my role to take the lead when disasters happen, etc. 

It is clear that the intention is to use me as much as they can before I become completely useless as a wizard.

But in fact, it was my mother who gave me a greater sense of betrayal than that.

The hands that hugged only me tenderly, the eyes that gleamed with love for me, and the lips that whispered to me every day that they loved only me.

Now she has given it all to my younger brother instead of me.

How grievous it would be to have her lovely little son removed in front of a mother who no longer loves me?

Every time I saw him, I was so angry that I couldn’t stand it.

My mother, who no longer belonged to me, and Millium, who took her away, I hated her even more than my father at times, so I couldn’t bear it.

And now there’s another one that catches my eye.

‘I couldn’t say thank you last time.’

I remembered the Judith I met earlier in front of my palace.

‘I almost got punished, but you helped me.’

Alright… …So in the end, you are the ultimate winner.

The main character in the story who overcame all kinds of trials and tribulations and eventually holds the world’s brightest treasure with both hands.

‘Ah, I want to get rid of them all.’

In fact, I was just faking my calmness, and my not-so-cool insides started to boil again.

I couldn’t stand this unfamiliar feeling of helplessness.

Negative thoughts that had been gnawing at my heart and brain until now set up a sharp tooth 

again and poured poison inside me.

“It’s over, Princess. You can rest now.”

It is enough for me to shine in this world.

All the most beautiful and shiny things in this world should be mine.

Until now, no matter how painful and hopeless I felt, I believed that a dazzling future awaited me…

“Everyone, get out when you’re done.”

Not knowing whether it was mine or Arbella’s in the book I had read, I pushed in a sense of frustration and a desire for destruction and drove everyone out.

In order not to get caught in this ugly heart, I needed some time to be alone.