Love Like the Galaxy

At the same time that Yu Cailing was thinking about Ning, Fu Yi and his wife were also talking about her.

“The young mistress seems more energetic today. The state she was in when I first came nearly scared me to death.” After washing himself, Fu Yi lay down to rest in the comfortably warm west room as his wife combed his hair.

Hearing this, Ning’s combing paused, and she pursed her lips as she said, “When you first came, she was already a lot better. The young mistress almost died that day. But it’s also partly my own carelessness. I was delayed for a few days. I had thought Ah Yue…..” At the mention of this name, her face darkened.

Seeing his wife’s expression, Fu Yi said, “People change. Ten years have passed. When Mistress* and the general left, the little mistress had just turned three. I remember, the general couldn’t stop turning back to look even after he got on his horse to ride away, his eyes red. Don’t mention Ah Yue anymore. Her previous husband died under the general’s command and her current husband has connections to the Ge family. How can she serve Mistress wholeheartedly?”
*To avoid confusion, Yu Cailing = “Young Mistress”, while her mother = “Mistress”. I’ll try to correct the terms retrospectively but may miss some, so please excuse inconsistencies.

Ning slapped the comb down on the table, raising her voice as she said, “The sword has no eyes. The future of those in the military has always been uncertain. Mistress has always been generous to their soldiers’ widows and children and didn’t even stop her from remarrying! That time, when the rumor arrived that you had died in Nanding City, I made the children dress in mourning clothes. Even if I had wanted to remarry, how could I neglect the job entrusted me?! Afraid of death, humph! If she’s so afraid of death, then she should just do what Ah Xiao did, ask her man to stay back in the village. Even if he doesn’t have any career prospects, at least they’ll live in peace. But they want both career prospects and to live in peace – such a good thing doesn’t exist!”

Fu Yi tightened the corners of his mouth. Actually, after the battle at Nanding City, he had immediately sent someone home post haste to report on the situation and it didn’t take more than a few months. Therefore, he really wanted to discuss this matter of his wife remarrying – wouldn’t it be more appropriate to consider remarrying after a year had passed?

In the end, however, Fu Yi decided to change the subject and said, “Don’t be angry anymore. Oh right, the last few times I came back, I kept hearing that she had been growing more and more stubborn and ill-tempered as she grew older, scolding and beating the servants, her behavior totally unbearable. But now, the young mistress seems to be conducting herself very well. The kids seem to really like her.”

Ning snorted coldly before picking up the comb to continue combing her husband’s hair. “I’ve never been in the main house, so I had never seen the young mistress then. I just thought it was those despicable women who did not teach her well. Anyway, she’s still young. When Mistress returns, she can teach her. Hmm, but who would have thought that she would be such a good girl. When she woke up, she spoke to us and was very friendly. I was afraid she would be depressed, so I told Ah Mei to bring her out to play. That day, when the Qiu family’s da niang zi* got married, I got two guards to accompany them to enjoy the festivities. When they came back, she was feeling much better and was laughing and joking.”

Fu Yi nodded with satisfaction, then paused and suddenly said, “Old Man Qiu has married off another daughter?” Every time he came back, he seemed to hear about this old farm supervisor marrying off a daughter. “How many daughters does he actually have?”

Ning smiled as she said, “I already said, it’s the family’s da niang zi. The Qiu household has two sons and only one daughter whom he had in his old age. The last time you came back, it was da niang zi‘s remarriage. This time, it’s her third marriage.”

Fu Yi shook his head. “Old Qiu indulges his daughter too much. It’s okay for a widow to remarry, but she had a good husband, and now she broke off that marriage only because she wanted to marry another man who caught her fancy. This will just be fodder for gossip.”

Ning laughed and said, “Her new husband is really of good character and has a gentle temperament.”
*”da niang zi” here refers to Qiu’s one and only daughter.

Fu Yi looked at his wife, who met his gaze calmly, without saying a word, and he suddenly relented, comforting himself. Servants usually followed their masters, but compared to the general, he was still in a better position when it came to his wife recognising his authority within a marriage.* That day, when the general’s wife was at General Wan’s mansion to watch a performance, she had praised one of their performers for his strong and beautiful body. Not only did the general not rebuke her, he even raised a glass of wine to toast, saying, “My lady has a good eye. Although he’s not as good as me, but he’s the best looking performer.” This had immediately caused General Wan to choke on his drink, whether out of disapproval or annoyance, it was hard to tell.
*Post-post translation note: The author uses the term “fu gang” (夫纲) which I had great difficulty finding a meaning / translation for. After seeking another opinion, it appears that unlike what I first deduced, it simply refers to the husband’s authority within a marriage, or rather, “wife following her husband’s lead”. Thus, my interpretation of the paragraph was that Fu Yi felt he was lucky that his wife still recognised his husbandly authority somewhat and was not as dominant as his master’s wife (i.e. the general’s wife)! If anyone can shed some further light on this, that’d be great.

Fu Yi looked at the small wooden letter on the table, which he had brought back with him post haste, and asked his wife, “What did Mistress say?” He was illiterate.

Ning looked at the letter and slowly said, “All preparations have been made. We’re now just waiting for Mistress to return.”

Fu Yi nodded. “When?”

“In another three to five days.”

……….

At about midday, the children playing by the stream gradually dispersed as they each went home. A country boy who had come to pick up his younger brother and sister looked at Yu Cailing for a long time. Then, blushing, he handed Ah Mei three fat fishes before running away in a panic. Ah Mei said to Yu Cailing delightedly, “Young mistress, someone has taken a fancy to me.”

Yu Cailing clenched her jaw and turned to look at Fu Deng with a blank face. “Ah Deng, have you found a good mirror grinder? I can’t see anything clearly in that copper mirror in my room.” She really wanted to see what she looked like now, and at the same time, let Ah Mei have a look at herself. That young country boy kept stealing glances in their direction. There were only herself and Fu Deng on the boulder. He couldn’t be looking at Fu Deng right….eh, probably not.

Fu Deng smiled and said, “It’ll soon be the new year. Presumably all the craftsmen everywhere would have gone back home.” Then, turning to his sister, he said, “What nonsense are you saying? That fish is for the young mistress.” From the start, he had observed the young country boy stealing glances at the young lady.

Yu Cailing walked sullenly down the small country path, not saying a word. In this barren wasteland of the ancient times, it’s so difficult to obtain anything. Looking into the bronze mirror was like looking into a distorting mirror or at her reflection in a stream. She couldn’t see her eyes and mouth clearly, and could only discern that her skin was clear and fair. She didn’t know if the boy who had given them the fish had a normal appreciation of beauty, or an abnormal one.

For example, her father, when he was young, he liked her mother who was learned and wise, and married her despite their large intellectual gap. After he became rich, her father’s preferences tended towards sexy but brainless women, and lived this sort of promiscuous life, until he was almost made bankrupt by a business partner. After that, he attained some enlightenment and finally settled down with a widow who was a hard worker. Although she wasn’t very educated, she was determined, and both husband and wife were of one mind in building their wealth together.

Although Yu Cailing hated that cold hearted old man, she recognised that she had inherited his quick mind. Ever since she got here, she had not stopped making plans for herself. Carrying the fish, she looked around her and sighed. She really hoped she was good looking. The modern woman, even if ugly, could rely on their education and careers, but how any options did the woman born in ancient times have? Perhaps she could be a scholar, or a martial arts expert leading a bunch of outlaws? Then again, at least she’s not dressed as a servant or a concubine, and she had someone serving her, so she could at least count herself lucky.

Yu Cailing frowned as she realised she had recently become increasingly fond of reminiscing about her past life. Why did she have to be a woman? It’s better to have been a man. A man could study and become a civil servant to avoid being a merchant or farmer. She didn’t mind being gay either. There must be many good-looking men who were poor and facing difficulties who were waiting for her to rescue them.

The cold wind at winter’s end was very refreshing. Upon returning home, Yu Cailing handed the fish to Ning and smiled as she said, “There’s still lard leftover from a few days ago. Use it to fry the fish to a crisp, then add some fresh mushrooms to make a fish soup. Ah Mei’s father and brother have just traveled from afar. The soup will be nourish them.” The craftsmen of the time didn’t have the skill to make the perfect iron pot, so although stir frying was not possible, they could simmer the food in water or oil.

As soon as they heard this, though Fu Yi and Fu Deng stayed silent, Ah Mei and Ah Liang stood up to cheer. Ah Mei clapped her hands and said, “This will be the best fish soup. Like last time, let’s grill the fish tails with ginger, pepper and soybean paste too!”

Ning smiled. In those times, the methods of cooking were limited to steaming, roasting and simmering. A few days ago, the young mistress had accompanied Ah Mei to watch the villagers slaughter the pigs and brought back a piece of fat from the pig’s belly which she had then instructed Ning to cook in a a hot iron pot and render the lard. The fragrance of the lard and fried bits of pork fat filled the entire house, almost attracting the neighbours from miles away. There were so many uses for the lard – adding it with fried fat to rice or to cold vegetables, mixing it with soybean paste and rice, or directly using it to cook vegetables or seafood – the flavour was simply indescribable.

She had asked the young mistress who came up with this method, and Ah Mei quickly replied, “When they were carving the pig, a piece of fat happened to fall onto the edge of a brazier. The moment the fat hit the brazier, the air was filled with the aroma of fried fat. That’s how young mistress came up with the idea.” Actually, at the time, Ah Mei was busy playing with the children and didn’t see the piece of fat drop onto the brazier. It was only later that Yu Cailing told her about it.

Ning smiled and said, “We’ve used it all up already. But I killed a few chickens yesterday, and rendered some chicken fat and it tasted very good.” Actually, it wasn’t such an unusual method. There are people who keep the drippings when grilling meat, and then cook with it or add it to rice for flavour. It’s just that it never occurred to her that frying fish meat in lard before boiling it in soup would taste so good, without any fishiness. This method was good, but it consumed too much firewood and fat, so unless one came from a wealthy family, one couldn’t afford to cook like this.

The more she thought about this, the more she felt that the young mistress had an intelligence that surpassed others. When she gets married in future, she would definitely be very adept at managing the household. All those nasty rumours about her must have been started by that spiteful woman who wanted to ruin the Mistress’s reputation. Actually, Ning was a very astute woman. If not for her excessive loyalty, if she had considered things from her own point of view, she would have realised something was not quite right about Yu Cailing.

Upon hearing Ning’s words, Yu Cailing froze. One shouldn’t think that people from ancient times were stupid. In fact, other than her modern knowledge, she wasn’t much better than them. She only taught Ning how to render pork fat once, and she immediately translated that knowledge into rendering cow, chicken and duck fat. She even experimented with adding sliced ginger, peppercorns, dogwood and others to add flavour, making sesame oil and chilli oil, which was stored well. If Ning hadn’t been such a smart woman, Yu Cailing would have cross-examined Ah Mei about the current year, dynasty, the identities of her parents, family and ancestors for the past eight generations.

“I’ve just steamed the rice and added soy paste and meat stew to accompany the fish soup. Young Mistress, please have more.” Ning looked at Yu Cailing with such affected she almost melted.

In that region, meals were usually made up of mixed rice or rice cooked together with meat and vegetables, with a meat or vegetable stew poured over. The wealthier families will also serve some grilled fish or appetizers on the side. Yu Cailing actually very much enjoyed Ah Ning’s cooking, so with a shy expression, she went into the house to wash her hands and wait for dinner.

The mid-day meal was fragrant and delicious. The smell of the soybean paste and meat stew mixed with rice assailed the nostrils. The fish and mushroom soup was tasty and refreshing. Not just the younger ones, but both father and son, Fu Yi and Fu Deng, had great appetites. Actually, people of those times only had two meals a day, but when Yu Cailing was recovering from her illness, Ning couldn’t very well prepare five meals a day just for her nourishment, so she just made more. Naturally, both Ah Mei and her brother benefited from it, and for those few days, their little faces were smooth and shiny like oil.

After the meal, sitting by the warm fire with a sweet citrus in her hand, listening to Ah Mei chatter on about countryside gossip, Yu Cailing suddenly felt that passing the days in this way wasn’t so bad, and she didn’t mind if her punishment continued.

But unexpectedly, Ning suddenly said, “Tomorrow, the manor will send someone to bring Young Mistress home.” Yu Cailing felt like someone had just poured cold water over her, and she sat there, stunned, not knowing where to start with her questions.

The difference between those who were reserved and those who were talkative was this: if Yu Cailing were to weep and cry and say something like “I miss my ah fu and ah mu*!”, a talkative person would grab this opportunity to tell her everything about this person’s** parents, from the time they met, fell in love and got married all the way to when they had her, while a reserved person like Ah Ning would either only nod her head silently, or sigh deeply and say “Yes.”.
*ah fu = father; ah mu = mother
**this person = the person whose body Yu Cailing was inhabiting

If Yu Cailing faked parental attachment and asked, “Ning, do you know what my ah fu and ah mu are like?”, Ning would probably most definitely say “We servants are not in a position to talk about the master’s family.” and not a word more, to the extent that Yu Cailing wasn’t even sure if this person’s parents were dead or alive.

In the past few days, Yu Cailing had tried several times to make similarly indirect inquiries. She dared not ask any direct questions – who was the one holding power in this person’s family, who was in charge of her daily living, how her parents were doing. Hearing these questions, an intelligent person would immediately know something wasn’t right, what more someone as astute as Ning.

Seeing Yu Cailing’s dejected expression, Ning couldn’t bear it. She longed to tell her, but remembering Mistress’s instruction, she dared not, and instead, said softly, “Young Mistress, don’t be afraid. Calm yourself down. Whatever is meant to happen will happen.”

Yu Cailing gazed at Ning, longing to ask her questions directly, but put on a pitiful expression and said sorrowfully, “Ning, was what I did really so greatly wrong?” This was an “antelopes sleeping while hanging their horns on trees” type of question – it would leave no trace for suspicion. Yu Cailing couldn’t help but give herself a pat on the back.
*羚羊挂角 – idiom; antelopes hanging on trees will leave no marks on the ground. It may not read well in English, but I figured some idioms were better left as they are.

Ning said indignantly, “What did you do that was so wrong? You didn’t kill or set something on fire, nor did you steal or take something by force.”

As long as it wasn’t a criminal offence. After all, what kind of civil actions can they bring against minors? Yu Cailing breathed a sigh of relief and said piteously, “Then….why are they still punishing me?”

Ning replied angrily, “They’re bad people! To bully Young Mistress, they have no……” then stopped mid-sentence. Exhaling, she continued, “Young Mistress, don’t worry. They won’t dare to behave so high-handedly with you.”

Could this person’s parents truly be dead?! Yu Cailing was confused. She could tell that Ning was holding back things she was longing to say. She wrung her hands in frustration, and after racking her brains for a long while, she finally whispered, “I’m afraid I may die if I go back.”

Thinking of the girl who almost died more than ten days ago, Ning sighed. Holding Yu Cailing’s hand, she said, “This servant vows with her very last breath that nobody will dare to take Young Mistress’s life.” She was still unwilling to reveal the meaning behind her words.

In her heart, Yu Cailing was already prepared for what was to come.

That afternoon, she heard the sounds of Ning’s family busily moving things around outside for the better part of the day. After a full night’s sleep, she had woken up to find the entire small courtyard looking entirely different from before. All the familiar household items were gone, other than a few jars of sauces and salt. The entire courtyard looked empty and deserted. Most notably, both father and son, Fu Yi and Fu Deng, had left before dawn.

They hadn’t expected the people from the main house to arrive so late. It was only after Yu Cailing had her afternoon nap that they saw two carriages making their way slowly over. Ning felt contempt in her heart. It was only half a day’s journey from the main house. If they had set out before sunrise, they would have arrived in the morning. Obviously that spiteful woman’s servants have long been allowed to to get lazy and left only after the sun rose.

Yu Cailing was dragged into the carriage while still in her post-nap daze. Ning actually wanted to say a few words, but gave up because everyone’s eyes were downcast. Ah Mei and Ah Liang were reluctant to leave. The carriage’s interior was beautifully embroidered, and had no shortage of cushions and incense. It was too bad that ancient carriages did not have anti-shock mechanisms, and Yu Cailing was jolted awake after the period of time it took to burn through two joss sticks. She heard a shrill voice a woman who hadn’t stopped talking ever since she boarded the carriage – she was complaining about how the young mistress was not lady like, how she was headstrong and unteachable, and how much effort her mistress had put into educating her, and so on and so forth.

Yu Cailing raised her head and squinted up at the thin woman in front of her. Just awhile ago, she heard Ning call her Female Supervisor Li (Li guanfu). She didn’t like this woman very much. Female Supervisor Li looked at Yu Cailing, clearly disliking her too.

Female Supervisor Li was dressed in a dark blue robe, with a scarlet brocade belt around her waist, and a lot of gold and silver adorning her head. Unlike Ning whose hair was always tied into a simple bun behind her neck, her thick hair was coiled into three large buns, two of them hung down from the side of her temples to her ears, and the third a triangular bun towering high on her head, fastened with three sturdy golden hairpins, like three joss sticks. The powder on her face, even if it didn’t weigh 1 catty, should at least weigh half a catty*. Yu Cailing despaired over this era’s standards of beauty, and began to worry about her looks again.
*an old measure of weight of approximately 500 to 600g

“…..did Fourth Lady* hear what I just said?” Female Supervisor Li’s voice became increasingly shrill.
*the author refers to the person whose body Yu Cailing inhabits using a few terms,, which is why her “titles” keep changing depending on who is using them:
– nu gong zi: literally, female master, which I translate to “young mistress”
– si niang zi: literally 4th lady

This annoyed Yu Cailing. She wasn’t a good-natured person. When she was a child, after her parents divorced, she wanted to be Sister 13 in “Young and Dangerous”.* Who knew why she made the wrong move and went to the university to learn how to be a good person.
*a HK film series about a group of young triad members

“I didn’t hear clearly.” She straightened the wide sleeves of her robe expressionlessly.

Female Supervisor Li was filled with anger. After so many days of suffering in the countryside, she had expected Yu Cailing to be well-behaved, and not still so difficult. Suppressing her anger, she hurriedly said, “Mistress has forgiven Fourth Lady for her wrongdoings. This time, when Fourth Lady goes back, Fourth Lady be obedient and listen to Mistress.”

Yu Cailing narrowed her eyes. She was a reasonable person. If someone treated her well, she would be accommodating and obedient. However, if someone treated her badly, she wouldn’t hold back. She didn’t come here to this lousy place to suffer in silence. At the very worst, if she dies, she’ll just be reincarnated!

“So many mistresses. Which mistress?” Fu your father’s 18-generations of people!* Why don’t you just call her a mama-san?
*fu ren = wife of the master, hence “mistress”. People = ren. So essentially, she’s breaking up “fu ren” into its individual parts and using it to scold very vulgarly….like “F your father, go call her your mama-san (a female pimp / owner of brothel)” – something along those lines.

“The mistress who is your aunt!”* Female Supervisor Li raised her voice. “Don’t tell me you don’t even know who your aunt is?!”
*aunt here is “shu mu” = father’s younger brother’s wife

“Of course I know,” said Yu Cailing with a fake smile, “My uncle’s old mother!”

“You, you…….” Female Supervisor Li almost passed out. Her finger trembled as she pointed it at Yu Cailing. “Do you know what is filial piety? Do you know what it means to be temperate, kind, courteous and restrained?! How rude! Are you looking for more punishment?”

She found it very strange. One could say that she had seen the girl grow up. She had always bullied the weak and feared the strong, rude to all those of beneath her, timid when around those better than her. Every time her mistress punished her, as long as she consoled the girl after she returned, she would be a little more obedient.

Yu Cailing raised her eyebrows and said, “I was seriously ill and almost died, so I’ve resigned myself to the fact that I am like this by nature. If you want to step on me, don’t even think about it! So if you have any sense, don’t come near me. I’m going to alight now and go back.”

Her experiences for the past ten days weren’t in vain. Observing the countryside practices and customs on her daily excursions, and the domestic interactions between parents and their children, she noticed that those of so-called “lower status” would imitate those of so-called “higher status”, so the customs of the nobility and the ordinary folk weren’t too different. This countryside was where the private farms belonging to a few noble families were collectively located. In just these few days, she had heard the villagers tell stories about the three divorces and four remarriages in their masters’ households. There was even a newlywed couple who fought each other. She secretly felt that the folk customs here were bold and unrestrained, and the etiquette far less strict than what she knew of ancient society.

Seeing how fierce the girl was, Female Supervisor Li hurriedly took out her “respect your elders” trump card, saying loudly, “Your ah fu and ah mu don’t care about you. Your aunt worked hard to raise you all these years, day and night, and yet you are so disrespectful!”

Hearing this, Yu Cailing’s first reaction was ‘So, this person’s parents are not dead’, and her second reaction was ‘Could it be that this person suffered the same fate of having her parents divorce when she was a child?’.

Yu Cailing’s parents were the first couple to divorce in her hometown after the (Chinese economic) reform. Although there were many divorces after that, at the time, this topic was unprecedented in the small town, resulting in many conversations about it, to the extent that Yu Cailing, who was still in kindergarten then, had people pointing fingers at her everyday. However, she did not allow herself to be suppressed into timidity by public opinion, but instead evolved in the opposite direction, cultivating a thick skin and a tough personality for herself.

Yu Cailing removed her hairpin, opened the cover of the handwarmer and slammed it onto the small desk. Then, she folded her sleeves, picked up the handwarmer and let loose her internal tomboy, saying fiercely, “You bitch! Don’t think I won’t throw this in your face!”