If I Fail to Debut, I’ll Get a Killer Disease

As the song intro that must be familiar to the whole country elapsed, the cheerful vocal hit my ears.

I striked up the iconic starting pose that I remembered.

One judge spat out the water that he was drinking.

    Ah, me too! Liking you~ (아, 나도 그래! 널 좋아하는걸~)

    Makes my heart race, this! feeling~ is like popcorn! (심장이 뛰는 이! 기분은~ 팝콘 같아!)

    POP! POP!

    The popping beats keep rising~ (터지는 비트가 막 올려~)

    This feeling of my heart that is overflowing! (가슴 가득 넘치는 이 느낌!)

Tap tap tap, the only person watching my simple steps while nodding seriously was the judge who requested me to dance, Youngrin. That lady was the only professional here.

Soon, the part where even kids half my age could dance was coming out.

    POP! POP!

    You are my Popcorn~ (Oh Yeah!) (넌 나의 Popcorn~ (Oh Yeah!))

    My heart (내 맘을)

    CON CON CON CON

    You control it~ (Control해~)

The song that was released 10 years ago, the chorus of MallangDalkom’s <POP☆CON> hit my eardrums powerfully.

So-called as a forbidden song during CSAT exams, this was the perpetrator that made students fail their listening exams due to its crazily addictive song and crack lyrics.

For the record, I took my CSAT exam that year. And I couldn’t retake it because I didn’t have money.

    POP! POP!

    Popping Popcorn~ (Ooh~) (터지는 Popcorn~ (Ooh~))

It was so popular that all kinds of people uploaded dance covers of it, the difficulty was that easy.

To put it simply, even primary school kids could dance it after practicing.

If this was 10 years ago when the song was popular, I would have received criticisms. But right now, they would see it as a fond past memory along with gag, so I chose this song.

Of course I was dancing my best with a straight face.

Even if others looked at me as a gag, if I, the contestant, was snickering, I would become dislikable.

I had to give the impression that I prepared this diligently to show how good I could dance.

And in reality, I was trying my best. My level went up with just practicing this. I have achieved the accomplishments <First movement> and <10th movement>.

Though it seemed like a mistake, seeing how much the judges were laughing hard and clapping at me…. but I didn’t know anymore. They could evaluate me however they wanted.

I stopped dancing after finishing the pose at the end of the first verse.

Short of breath, I bowed my head down. When I came back to my senses, I heard claps.

“Thank you.”

Youngrin grabbed the microphone first, but the choreographer struck first.

Just how much did he laugh that his eyes turned red. It seemed like he was in tears laughing.

“Whoa, shi….. I hadn’t even dreamed of that song coming. Wasn’t Moondae-ssi still 10 years old when POP☆CON was released? Did you perform that song for a talent show?”

“It isn’t like that, I performed this song because I am a fan of MallangDalkom sunbaenims.”

“Keu-ha!”

To add to this, MallangDalkom’s latest album was released 4 years ago.

Because their peak of popularity had already been a long time ago, a 20-year old saying he’s a fan of them would look unordinary.

But it wouldn’t be a problem because they’re still idols.

Sure enough, the choreographer bursted out in laughter again.

Next to him, Mudie muttered in delight.

“Ah… He’s cute~”

“He tried his best, it’s important that he tried his best!”

The male idol judge helped out.

His doubtful expression from earlier when I said I had no former experience was totally gone. 

And finally, Youngrin opened her mouth.

“But that doesn’t mean you did well.”

I knew it.

This would be the situation where the editors would include a close-up and a sound effect.

And they would add a red caption that’s three times bigger, saying “Du-dung!”.

I waited for more commentary as I imagined how the program would be edited.

“Firstly, I can see that you’re not skillful at dancing from the way you move your body. Right now, even if you get a nice evaluation by raising up the mood, the missions from now on will be challenging.”

“I will be prepared for them.”

Not me, but the status window would.

Holding back my extra remarks, Youngrin nodded her head gravely.

“That’s right.”

And she loosened her face.

“...Anyway, I can see that you’ve put your efforts into this. Well done.”

“Thank you.”

I felt like I had said ‘thank you’ 10 times today. Would it be this frequent too in the future.

As I was estimating that, the judges were discussing their evaluations without holding the microphones so I couldn’t hear it.

At this point, there was one more evil system in this program.

The contestants would be ranked between 1st to 77th place in this first evaluation. And everyone was assigned to sit based on the rank they were given.

Participants had to sit there right after the evaluation, so it was only a temporary rank.

If the rank was filled and the next contestant performed better, everyone else’s rank would get pushed down and they had to give up their seat.

The lower ranks would get pushed down one rank at a time, then they would film the one who sat on the last rank and cried. That was one of the selling points of this program.

Thankfully, it seemed like I wouldn’t have to experience that.

My rank.. should be at around 24th place.

“Park Moondae-gun’s rank is 17th place!”

They purposefully wanted to shoot a scene where I would get pushed down, so they put me around 5 rank higher. My actual rank should be similar to my prediction.

‘Because I raised the mood, it seemed like they increased my rank by 4-5 places’

As the time passed, if these judges got their eyes cleaned, maybe I would have to give up my seat repeatedly to middle and high schoolers.

It was slightly funny that I was bowing my head repeatedly while thinking about it sourly.

“Thank you.”

“I will teach you more intensely, so rank higher next time.”

The choreographer said that with a mischievous smile. His attitude towards me would change right away if I didn’t get better, but I had the status window in me.

‘I hope I could get a scene where that choreographer would feel touched by me.’

I bowed my head once again and headed myself to the set where the seats were placed.

The higher you ranked, the seat became more luxurious and comfortable. You could feel the superficially big difference.

The 17th place seat I was sitting on was a leather chair that a corporate executive would sit on.

Once I sat down, I greeted the contestant who was sitting across from the 15th place. With his gentle look, he looked like Park Moondae’s age. 

“Hello~”

“Hello.”

“Your singing was very good!”

“Thank you. You too, seemed like you did well.”

“Yeah? Ahaha!”

I couldn’t answer him because I didn’t see the stage properly, but I managed to tell him that it seemed like it because of his ranking.

As the contestant laughed out loud, he pointed at the name tag on his chest.

“My name is Lee Sejin!”

“.....!”

I almost groaned out. I tried my best to reply with a poker face.

“I am Park Moondae. Nice to meet you.”

“Nice to meet you too.”

Ending the conversation naturally, I turned my head to the front and with a nice timing, the next contestant had come up to the stage. But I was thinking of the name I just heard.

Lee Sejin.

That name was one of the contestants that debuted through this program. So should I say he was a person who I knew would get appointed to win.

But there was a problem.

That guy, one year after this program ended, would be in a drug scandal. And he was the distributor too.

I was sure I saw that name in the 9pm news at a rice soup restaurant near my one-room.

[Lee Sejin from ‘Idol Joint-Stock Company’ arrested on suspicion of distributing drugs.]

…Let’s not talk to him in the future.

Timing was important for cutting-off people. Now, let’s use this time to check my status window.

[Name: Park Moondae (Ryu Gunwoo)]

Level : 5

Title : None

Vocal : A-

Dance : D

Visual : C+

Charm : C

Attribute : Limitless potential

!Status effect: Debut or die

Point left : 1

First of all, I received a point from leveling up in my stage just now. It seemed like it was from the accomplishment <First performance>.

And it seemed like my dance and charm stats were calculated from the performance just now.

When I was practicing, it was still not activated. Maybe it needed to be formally recognized to be calculated? I didn’t know the clear criteria for this.

Anyway, I felt it vaguely when I was practicing… Even if the charm is somewhat alright, for dance, I guessed ‘Park Moondae’ really had no talent for it.

If the dance was D, it was probably a similar level to an average person.

In the future, I would have to invest 2 or 3 points in dance to actually be able to do it.

On another hand, I could see more possibilities with the visual stat in the status window. I didn’t invest any point in it, but as I put more care into my appearance, the level went up on its own.

This meant I could increase my abilities through the effects of my status window levelling up and other stuff too. This was quite an optimistic system.

And lastly, an unusual pop-up appeared. A small one just right next to the status window.

[Successful performance!]

You have impressed the majority of people!

: Common attribute slots ☜ Click!

‘Another weird one has appeared.’

But there were words like ‘Success’ and ‘Impressed’ so the nuance of it being a reward was big.

As I pretended to touch my head, I clicked on the slots. And a fascinating thing appeared.

There was a gray slot machine. Next to the lever that had already been pulled down, a slot was spinning.

And the spinning was getting slower. Soon enough I would even be able to slightly check the contents in the slots.

Several of the slots were copper and most of the rest were gray.

[Strong heart]

[Erasure of embarrassments]

[Crocodile tears]

[Sleeping is only after you die]

[Look at me!]

[... …]

“.....”

No, I meant, it’s good that I could guess what kind of attribute it was from just looking at the titles…. But the titles sounded too crude.

I looked at the slot machine with low anticipation. Anyhow, it was going to stop soon.

Dung-dung… Dung!

Confettis popped out from the slot machine.

It stopped at a copper slot.

[Attribute: ‘Sleeping is only after you die (D)’ acquired!]

When this attribute is in activation, you won’t become tired even if you don’t sleep.

At 00:01 ~ 00:04, the acceleration of your experience will get a 30% bonus

This lasts for a week, one-time use.

“.....!”

Outside of my expectations, I got an attribute that looked very useful. Although the title… was like that.

But this ‘slots’, it really meant slots. An essential feature in luck-based and doomed-to-fail games appeared too, this was getting fun.

I confirmed that my attribute stat in the lowest part of my status window now had ‘Sleeping is only after you die (Non-activated)’ in it. Let’s think about when it would be the most effective to use.

“Contestant Kang Minjo ranks in… 56th place!”

The evaluation continued to proceed.

There was still no debuting member that came out yet other than the suspicious druggie next to me.

I watched the next participant coming up the stage.

A participant with long arms and legs and slender build entered the stage.

Seeing as he was alone, he must be a participant with no connections.

The participants who were seated on their respective ranks made a lot of buzz. It definitely wasn’t because he came up to the stage alone.

“Wow!”

“Amazing.”

It was because this participant was really too handsome. I could even hear the voices of the judges from below admiring him.

“You look like a deer~”

In my opinion, with a face like that, he wouldn’t have to worry about not being able to debut.

It’s almost like he actually didn’t need to participate in an idol survival program. Surely he would get to do something after this program.

But when I saw the name tag on his chest, it was a name I didn’t recognize.

[Seon Ahyun]

If he couldn’t debut with that face, he must be really talentless. He was more handsome than most of the currently active idols that I took pictures and videos of.

Hm, if I converted his stats like the status window… other than visual, his other abilities must be at F ~ D.

‘If only I could see others’ status windows, I would be able to know it for sure.’

Surprisingly, the moment I thought about that, a window really appeared next to the participant.

“...!”

So I could see others’ windows too.

[Name: Seon Ahyun]

Vocal : B- (A)

Dance : A (EX)

Visual : A+ (S+)

Charm : B (A+)

Attribute : Resilience (Not activated)

!Status effect: Lack of self-esteem

What a spectacular status window. I would expect him to get at least 10th place in this evaluation. 

However, the last line stood out to me.

[Status effect: Lack of self-esteem]

With that face? It would make more sense if he had arrogance.

Anyway, being able to check others’ status windows was a great benefit. If I were in a pinch, as long as I made it into an entertainment company, I supposed I wouldn’t have to starve to death.  

As I looked at the stats with curiosity, I heard the MC’s voice.

“Okay, participant, please introduce yourself!”

Then, Seon Ahyun grabbed the microphone.

The hand that was holding the microphone was shaking tremendously.

“Ah, He, Hello….”

“...!”

He didn’t accidentally stutter because he was nervous. His awkward speech was caused by him feeling out of place.

It was a clear symptom of stuttering impediment.

And I could feel that he was really conscious of his own speech impediment. Should I say I could notice his overwhelming anxiety and shame. 

This must be the reason for his status window. I was immediately convinced of this participant, Seon Ahyun’s status window.

But with that face and those talents, he could present his stuttering as his characteristic. Why couldn’t he debut?

The problem must be with the status effect ‘Lack of self-esteem’. Could I know more…

[Lack of self-esteem]

: Despising oneself

All abilities are decreased by two levels.

“...!”

Suddenly, another pop-up appeared again. I didn’t expect that I could check the details by only thinking about it.

‘How very useful.’

I should check the remaining days in my status effect again.

This was ironic, but I was a bit surprised that the content of his status effect was more extreme than I thought.

In games, when we got these kinds of debuffs, we would just give up and restart. But this was a life game that couldn’t be reset, that guy must be fairly annoyed with this too.

“Ahyun-gun, do you perhaps.. have some trouble while speaking?”

“I… I, When I… was small, I got into an accident….”

“Ah….”

He started to sell his backstory on the stage.

To be precise, Seon Ahyun seemed to be explaining his condition, but the producer team would try their best to make it as if he was selling his backstory.

Contrived reactions from participants around me would be included in the teaser too.

They would definitely include the participants nodding their head with a sad and regrettable expression in the reaction cuts.

Because they were saying these kinds of lines too.

“Poor him…”

In a sensitive case like this, they really shouldn’t be showing that kind of reaction.

With their editing, on the contrary, some people would think ‘That kind of reaction is also an assault’.

I just looked at the front with a casual expression of ‘I see’.

After giving some banal encouraging words, the judges carefully requested him to perform.

“Then Ahyun-gun, can we see your performance?”

“Yes, yes….”

His performance was not that bad. Overall, it was a stage everyone would see favorably.

Which meant, if his status window was correct, that participant did worse compared to his actual abilities.

“Seon Ahyun-gun ranks in 18th place!”

Without a strong mentality and strategy, this situation would have happened. To think that he got a lower rank than me, even with that status window.

Anyway, they probably could feel that his abilities were good or they didn’t want to give negative remarks, so his evaluation was good.

“You did well~”

“I’ll be looking forward to you in the future.”

The judges each left their heartwarming remarks. One even gave a thumbs up.

But Seon Ahyun’s face was gloomy as he bowed deeply.

He tried his best to brighten up his expression and walked out of the stage. Following the MC’s announcement, he went to sit next to me.

“......”

This should be where we exchange our greetings….

Seon Ahyun stole a glance at my seat but didn’t say a word.

I shouldn’t create a scene where I would be seen as ignoring him.

But it was such a hassle to start talking first. So I just bowed my head towards his side.

Seon Ahyun was surprised and bowed his head back continuously.

“The next participants to receive their evaluations are 5 people! Choi Jinsu-gun, Hong Seong-gun….”

Counting the remaining participants in my head, I sighed weakly.

There was still a long way to go.