Episode 117 – One’s Way Home And After That

I plunged into the affairs of the Yukihana family, had a chance encounter with Shinya, and finally talked about my past. Perhaps it was because I had had a turbulent day, but I was unusually mentally exhausted. It’s probably the first time I’ve had a conversation that touched this deep into the abyss, and it’s also the first time I’ve taken such a bold step in a row.

“……Phew, I wish I could just calm down.”

I muttered while walking down the darkened night road. Because I have too many problems, even I’m at a loss as to which one to start with. But I’m not going to move for a while. With this in mind, I walked through the front door of my house.

(i wonder if…my sister is already back)

I wondered how long it had been since I had been home later than my sister. Judging from the smell wafting from the direction of the kitchen, dinner today will probably be curry. As usual, my step father and mother have not come home yet. It will be just me and my sister again today.

“……Well, it doesn’t matter.”

Because I told Yukihana about my family, I became strangely conscious of it. Come to think of it, I’m nothing more than a stranger to the residents of this house. The relationship between me and my sisters is not clear when the person I call my mother is not really my mother. I was told that I was adopted by this family, but that was just a title that was given to me.

“Welcome back, you’re late.”

I put down my luggage and went into the living room to find my sister in an apron stirring a pot of curry. I don’t think you should stir it like that because it will cause the ingredients to fall apart.

“I was just taking a short detour.”

“Oh, right.”

We were talking without making eye contact. It’s a miracle that we’ve come to have this kind of conversation. If I had given up in the true sense of the word, if my sister had not kept talking to me. When I think of that, even this ordinary conversation is strangely filled with sentimentality.

–I’m just a stranger after all.

“Look, the curry is ready, so sit down quickly.”

“Is the secret ingredient ginger and honey?”

“…..Don’t try to guess just from the smell.”

I sit quietly in my seat while being slapped with something like a hate comment. Come to think of it, I’m not that hungry because I drank the tea halfway through, but if I left it, a demon would appear in front of me, so I had no choice but to eat quietly.

So dinner begins as usual. I answer the occasional topic of conversation from my sister, and with a regular motion, I throw the food into my mouth. But today was different.

“Hey, I heard from mother.”

“What?”

“Your father is getting out of prison soon.”

“……”

My sister was a little reluctant to tell me this story, which she didn’t really want to talk about. Apparently, my mother had spilled the beans to my sister. I didn’t really care what she said.

“……I see.”

“You don’t need to see him?”

“I don’t need to.”

She doesn’t know what kind of childhood I had. No, I don’t think she knows the details either. That’s why she can ask such an intrusive question. I don’t know if that’s a good thing or a bad thing.

“I see, if you say so.”

“Why did you ask me that?”

“Because mother was concerned about it. She thought maybe you’d like to meet your father.”

Even though he is a criminal, he is still my father. She may have thought that it wouldn’t be strange for me to be interested and want to meet him. But, being who he is, he was probably thinking about what he should do in the event that I did want to meet him.

“I don’t know if I want to meet him, but he’s a person I barely remember.”

“Right. Well, you’ll have to talk to mother directly about that.”

“I know.”

I tried again to recall the past, but I still have only a faint memory of my father. I remember his face and voice, but I don’t remember what he said to me or how he raised me.

(It’s strange, isn’t it? I’m sure he taught me a lot of things like this.)

I’m sure my father taught me many things, but I have no recollection of what he was like. This is a clear anomaly. I guess he must have had some special training that I can’t imagine. Either that or I’ve been under so much stress in such a short period of time that I’d like to forget.

“Thanks for dinner.”

“Are you done?”

“Yes, I’ve had a little bit to drink and eat outside, so I’m full.”

“……You should have said that first.”

After cleaning up the dishes, I headed upstairs to my room, much to my sister’s dismay. Then, naturally, I collapsed onto the bed. It wasn’t that I was pushing myself too hard, but I was already full after eating, so mental fatigue attacked me.

I unconsciously looked down at my phone. Naturally, I received no notifications. After confirming this, I threw the phone away and slowly closed my eyes.

As if to avert my eyes from the troublesome days that would begin again tomorrow.

——–

At the same time, at the Yukihana household

“……Is this what I wanted?”

I was alone, lying on my bed, looking at the inorganic screen of my phone. There I saw the name and number of the person I had just been talking to. The conversation we had just had has been reverberating through my chest for a long time.

Then she said.

[I’m sure he has no idea what a friend is…….]

I don’t know what a friend is.

“…….No, I don’t have many friends either.”

Not just not many, but almost none. She is probably better than me when it comes to making friends. It’s not that I don’t need friends either. But I don’t know how to make friends. I have such a troublesome personality and I have come to this point. In my opinion, his power….

“No, why should I care?”

There is no need for me to care separately. He can die in the field on his own in a place I don’t know and have no part in my life whatsoever. But there is a part of me that feels uncomfortable about it.

“….I’m just going to sleep.”

I toss my phone and close my eyes, trying to forget what I just heard. But like a headache, the story I just heard reverberates in my head.

And I sleep earlier than usual. When I wake up, I have a fantasy that something will be different.