I Tamed the Male Lead Who Would Kill Me

Black hair that doesn't let in a single light, and big red eyes staring at me. A scar on her cheek, but a pretty face that looked so gorgeous for a 10-year-old.

Looking this way and that way, the boy in front of me was Carsian Raum Disel, the male protagonist of the novel I reincarnated.

That too bothered me!

I turned and looked at myself in a nearby mirror.

Clean wheat-colored blonde hair, purple eyes, peach-colored cheeks without a single scar... … .

It was clearly different from the scruffy and haggard days when he was sentenced to death after a long detention. It was right that I came back.

this… … Is it a regression? Did I reincarnate in the book, die, and even return? If so, when exactly did you return?

"miss… … ?”

Susan called me cautiously.

Yes, I still have Susan.

My family didn't bother Carcian right after he took over.

no, i couldn't

Because so many people wondered about him, 'the son of a stupid count who set off on a reckless trade on pirate-infested waters'.

That interest led to money, and his father treated Karcian for a while. However, that was for a while, and when the money was cut off along with people's interest, Carcian became a nuisance.

I think that was around six months after Carcian came to our house.

Susan was kicked out for hypocrisy alone while covering up for Carcian being bullied.

And after that, Carcian gets bullied even more.

However, judging from the fact that Susan is still there, it seems that she has not entered the 7th month car that will accelerate Carcian's bullying.

What should I do? no, wait. What to do, what to do! You have to beg Karsian!

Just in time, Karsian asked harshly.

“Why did you call me?”

Judging from the situation, it seems that I called Carcian to the room to harass her again.

If it were me in my previous life, I would have bullied Carcian to get praise from my mother. But I know of a future where Carcian's father, whom everyone expected to die, makes a golden return. I know that it will kill me.

In other words, if I don't bother Carcian, I can live.

I cleared my throat and said.

"I… … It's no different that I called you, I heard you were hurt.”

“… … .”

“So I’m going to give you some ointment.”

But as soon as I finished my words, the maid standing behind Susan kicked me out of her seat.

“No, lady. What do you mean?”

"yes?"

I looked at her at the sound of an angry voice.

The maid with freckles on her cheeks, green eyes, and dark red hair tied up was none other than Betty.

After Susan was kicked out of the previous life, Betty and I used to stick together and bully Carcian. Since he had been beheaded before me, a vague longing was about to rise.

I was going to greet her, but Betty said in a high-pitched voice.

“My lady, are you saying this sanely?”

“… … What?"

“Does it make sense to give such an insectivore expensive ointment? Why are you acting like an idiot all of a sudden?”

what? fool?

I opened my eyes wide in shock. No, when you think about it, it wasn't shocking. Not after they bonded together by harassing Carcian, but before that, I've heard these rants from Betty from time to time.

For a moment, the back bone rang as if it had been stabbed with an ice pick.

yeah you knew

That I'm an illegitimate child, so I can't really blend in with the family!

To say that Betty, the maid, knows that I am an illegitimate child means that most of the duke's residence knows.

I was really nothing.

I lived my whole life thinking I was real, but in fact, everyone was making fun of me. The fact suddenly caught my breath. The truth I didn't know before I died was strangling me now.

I was staring at Betty, unable to even blink, in so much pain, Susan called out.

“Betty! What kind of rude nonsense is that to the lady! I can't apologize right away!”

She was so furious that her tightly held hands trembled. Betty's words and actions and the way she treated me. Apparently, Susan was the only person who was really on my side.

I got up from my seat, gripping Susan's hand tighter, and glared at Betty. Then he said it as coolly as he could.

"fool? I said nerd, now. To me?"

The voice came out so cold that I couldn't believe it was the voice of a 7-year-old. Susan and Betty hesitated for a moment. But that was only for a moment, Betty said through her green eyes.

“It is. Ointment? You want to give him some ointment? Lady, I see you don't know what you're doing because you're only in your room."

She spoke loudly as if she were teaching me.

“Do you know how precious the herbs used to make the ointment are? It's not something you can give to just anyone!”

She shot at me, and she still glared at me.

look at this

I let go of Susan's hand and took a step towards Betty. Then he glared straight into Betty's ferocious green eyes.

In fact, before I became close with Betty, she often hit me without Susan's knowledge. in the name of education. The memory of that time still makes me twitch whenever Betty moves her hand.

But it shouldn't be like this. I know the feeling of being slapped on my neck, and I know that if I stay like this, I will die without moving again.

It means that in front of Carcian, I have to make it clear that I will be on his side.

You have to let him know that you're not following Betty and bullying him, you're helping him.

“Betty.”

I said in a cold voice to Betty.

“Do you know that I am doing this because I do not know that medicinal herbs are expensive? Do you teach me because you know more than the eldest daughter of the marquis?”

Betty's eyes shook at the sharp words.

“Not spoiled.”

“Bur, burr… … I beg your pardon?!"

Betty shouted incredulously, but I answered in a calm voice.

“I am the lady of this mansion. I can take you right away and make you food for the pack of jackrabs.”

Betty's lips twitched.

It's like, 'You're an illegitimate child, do you have the strength to do that?' It looked like he was laughing at me. I was full of spirits, but I tried to keep my expression blank.

“Betty. As you know, there are many people who would take care of one of the maids of the marquis without even knowing it, even if I gave you just one of the jewels on my dressing table.”

No matter how illegitimate I may be, I am the eldest daughter of a very gentlemanly marquis on the outside. I have a gem or two. I moved closer to Betty.

“If you want to live long, know the subject and make fun of it. I know this kind of advice will never happen twice.”

At my chilling warning, Betty looked around as if looking for someone to help her. However, there were only me, Susan, and Karsian around. Eventually, Betty's body, which had been standing upright, collapsed. Betty's face was sweaty and confused. He even seemed humiliated to kneel down to such a disrespected illegitimate son.

I looked down at Betty and said.

"You're in a bit of a position now, Betty."

“… … .”

“It will do you good to stay like this the next time you serve me, Betty.”

He gripped Betty's shoulder tightly. His hands were so small that he could only pinch them, but Betty's expression became contemplative.

“You understand?”

At my question, Betty bit her lip and nodded slowly.

“Yes, Lady Latia.”

Then, as I gritted my teeth, I realized that Betty would not go over this quietly.

Well, think about that later.

For now, I felt relieved.

“Get out now.”

I even kicked Betty out of the room and looked up at Susan.

“Then, Susan, hurry up and get some ointment for Carcian’s wounds.”

Although the order was pushed back because of Betty's interruption, my first priority was Carcian.

Anyway, my illegitimate son will prevail, this family will be destroyed... … .

I don't think there's any need to stay here. However, there is a problem even if you run away with the nanny. It means that all of our family members will be sentenced to death and perish.

My father used to collect the weaknesses of nobles, and he even touched those he shouldn't have touched. In the midst of this, the charges of running an illegal fighting arena and abusing the hero's son became a very good excuse.

In short, no matter how hard I hide, I will die.

In the end, the way I survived was when Count Raum Disel returned, Carcian said, 'He was kind.' It means that there is no choice but to listen and be excused.

Thinking so, I made up my mind to take care of Carcian's wounds first. By the way,

“What are you up to, you?”

After being bullied several times, it seems that distrust has already settled in Karcian's mind.

“What are you planning this time?”

Well, Karsian must have been greatly hurt to see his father's friend, who had been treating him well, flipping his palm and stabbing him.

“Why do you think we have to take them to another charity party?”

Karsian, who grasped his situation within the family, smirked coldly.

I looked at Karsian like that and said,

"just."

“… … What?"

“To quit.”

“… … what.”

Carcian asked, frowning like a vigilant cat. I only shrugged once.

“Actually, you probably won’t even notice.”

“… … .”

“That I am not accepted as a real member of this family.”

There was no mention of an illegitimate child. Even her maid, Betty, behaves like that, and she must've been with her for the past six months and hasn't seen or heard much of it. I wonder if my thoughts were right, Karsian didn't say anything.

From now on, I will stand closely by Karcian's side.

So maybe it's better to let them know that they have a common enemy?

“My mother made me do it.”

“… … .”

“Then I wouldn’t hit you, because you loved me. No, because he said so.”

“… … .”

“But I’m just going to quit.”

I smiled as harmlessly as possible.

“Susan said it, but she said it wasn’t love.”

right?

I looked up at Susan, and she nodded with a heartened expression. However, Carcian coldly said to me who was still smiling harmlessly.

“It’s disgusting.”

“… … .”

“Did your mother make you do it?”

“… … .”

“Sounds funny.”

Karsian gritted his teeth.

“Stop the bullshit. The ointment that the likes of you give me, I won’t apply it even if you kneel.”

Then, before I had time to catch up, he spurred on and ran out.

It doesn't come off easily either.

But it wasn't all that hopeless. Karsian gave a hint. If he didn't put it on even if he got down on his knees, wouldn't that mean he would put it on if he bowed his head? Whether it was on his knees or his head, he was prepared to bow down again and again.

because i want to live

I decided to think about how to apologize to Carcian while watching Susan approaching with concern.