I Loved You In Order To Survive

Giles was once a little boy who enjoyed the love and happiness showered upon him by his family.

The Hessen family acquired great wealth from the development of diamond mines from his grandfather’s generation. To put it mildly, they were poor before. Anyway, the family enjoyed their rich days and were treated like any other aristocrat.

Giles’ father took his family to Ipswin to expand his business. He wanted his children to spread their wings in a new land. The possibilities in a foreign country seemed endless. Everyone agreed that Ipswin would bring economic success to Beldam.

Giles’ sister Celeste decided to become a writer. She loved to daydream and had a passion for writing.

Celeste wanted to meet different people and hear their stories. She believed that good stories came from the experiences and ideas of real people.

Celeste’s current target was none other than the people of Ipswin.

Their family dissuaded Celeste from doing so. Although Ipswin was under Beldam, they could not control their hatred towards Beldam. A Beldam woman traveling alone would become a target.

“The fact that you worry about me getting hurt proves my point.”

Celeste, unlike Giles, had beautiful blonde hair. She was reviewing a handwritten manuscript with her golden hair tied back.

“If the basis for them hurting me is not a personal grudge, but my bloodline, are other people safe? This is not only my problem.”

“Our parents are worried. Look at your outfit. Anyone who sees you will know you are the daughter of a wealthy family.”

“You mean I’ll get hurt because of the way I look?”

“I meant you could get robbed.”

“I don’t think anyone was worried about that. Everyone thinks I could die if I do something wrong.”

Giles sat nearby, bathed in lamplight, watching his sister edit her manuscript. What was it about? Come to think of it, he had never read Celeste’s work before.

“Because we are from Beldam, I think that’s why someone might want to kill us.”

“Don’t you think that is an absurd claim?”

“No, I totally agree.”

Celeste put down her fountain pen. The room was filled with cozy silence.

“People here hate us. They could really kill us if they wanted. I know because I’ve met them. In fact, I didn’t even know that we were barely suppressing their hatred with power. Look. We invaded other people’s land and acted as if we owned it. We are treating them like slaves.”

“You’re really sincere in listening to them.”

“You just have to listen. At first, it was for a novel, but I couldn’t help but realize that this was a serious problem.”

At the time, Giles listened to her even though he thought she was acting eccentric as usual. Celeste’s words were not absurd. She then began to talk about the future.

“Giles, what will you do when you go to the military academy?”

“Follow the orders of the state and protect Beldam.”

“It would be nice if you were just protecting Beldam. You might be called back to your home country as soon as you graduate. Did you read the newspaper? A war is about to break out. It’s far bigger than anything we’ve ever experienced.”

Giles also remembered the headlines that dominated the front pages of newspapers.

「‘World War’ – the future predicted by Chancellor Dosselberg」

Below the headline was a small subheading. 

‘Is it a bluff? Or a promise?’

“If we lose… everything will change. You might regret incurring someone’s hatred. Really.”

Giles still remembered the look in Celeste’s eyes as she stared at him. Like someone who saw something others didn’t, she was confident…

She looked depressed.

“When that time comes, you will have to make a choice. Either run away or die.”

The ominous prophecy came true before Giles graduated from the military academy.

The aftermath of losing a war on a global scale was great. It was an opportunity for Ipswin.

It was a revolution.

As Celeste said, Giles was at a crossroads. Their father had long since left the country. All roads back to Beldam were blocked. And the masters of this land tried to execute all the people like Giles.

There was no future as a Beldam anymore.

Giles wanted to live. He also didn’t want his sister, who was always thoughtful, to die.

So he betrayed his country to survive and helped the Ipswin Revolution. He shared his enormous wealth with the revolution’s leadership and supplied weapons.

Above all, he took the lead in pushing out numerous Beldam figures who had a hand in oppressing the natives.

Giles did not regret that choice. He never had any regrets. The state could do nothing more for him. If Giles hadn’t helped the revolution, he, too, would have died, and he wouldn’t have been able to protect Celeste.

Survival alone made every choice worth it.

Loyalty to country, faith, and pride. 

What happened to the nobles who resisted until the end?

Beldam lost its power and couldn’t protect them. All the nobles he had captured branded him a traitor. A traitor who stabbed his own people in the back to save himself. Such accusations did Giles no harm.

In the end, the dead did not speak, and only the survivors could face the rising sun.

Survival was the best currency.

He couldn’t think of any other way.

He ran, his eyes on a singular goal… After the turbulence settled and the revolution entered a period of stability, the leadership who had promised him a future began to change their attitude.

Although he aided the revolution, he was of Beldam lineage. He couldn’t change that fact. The leadership explained that they could not appoint a wealthy Beldam to an important position.

When it was all over, Giles was left to take charge of his own fate. And the leadership decided not to promote him any further.

Through turbulent times, Giles learned that the bonds of hatred did not apply to all people. It was obvious what kind of life a Beldam native would live in this land. Since he was branded a traitor, he could not return to his home country.

After the terrifying flames had gone, only gloomy darkness remained.

Was it from then? 

Giles slowed down and became dull. When he found out that he couldn’t change the future, he was surprisingly relieved. He was much calmer than when he was struggling to survive.

Searching for a way out had consumed too much energy. He had to take a little break now.

He didn’t know if that was why he didn’t want to arrest Lily.

On the contrary, Giles felt sympathy for her. He was a battered survivor, and by the time he looked at himself, he had nothing left.

If he couldn’t survive, what ​​would he be chasing for the rest of his time?

He got lost for a while. 

He needed a guiding star. 

He looked up at the sky, but there were no stars, only the blinding sun.

He couldn’t just sit still and wait. Perhaps because he ran for a long time without resting, he felt anxious when he stayed still.

He had to do something.

And if there was anything he could do… He was willing.

Sitting alone in his driver’s seat, tapping his finger on the steering wheel, he started the engine. A black car drove down a well-paved country road.

Lily’s performance still rang in his ears.

***

The fact that he was able to have a leisurely day out also meant that he felt peaceful. At least it was different from when they had to wrestle nobles down from the mountains.

Giles wrote and posted a report that, if properly remodeled, the mansion in Solzbourg could be used as a government office. Office or school… It could be used for anything.

It hadn’t been long since the report was posted, so further instructions on the building would soon be issued. He had a little time until then.

As he entered the mansion, he wondered if Lily might have already run away. After all, Giles was a Revolutionary Army agent who knew Lily’s true identity.

But Lily was still at the mansion. She wore the same white dress, with messy black hair. No difference. 

How did a body like that find the strength to play the piano?

Lily looked slightly surprised, as if she hadn’t expected him to return. Then she hurriedly straightened her clothes and hair, although the effect was minor.

Both of her hands were scarred. When Giles’ gaze met Lily’s, she blushed.

“This… It’s because I picked some wild berries.”

It was clear that she had survived that way all this time. Giles pulled out a sandwich from the bag. Lily’s eyes widened when she saw proper food.

“Come on, eat.”

“Are you giving it to me?”

“Yes. I got it for you.”

Lily gave him a small thanks and accepted the sandwich. As soon as she unwrapped it, the empty space smelled of fresh food. It was a sandwich with thinly sliced ​​ham, boiled eggs, and vegetables.

“If you have any allergies…”

By the time Giles spoke, half of the sandwich had already disappeared. Lily seemed happy. When he saw the life in her eyes… he hadn’t smiled in a long time.

“It is so delicious. You have no idea how long it’s been since I’ve eaten meat.”

“There are more in the bag, so you can eat whenever you want.”

“Thank you.”

Lily was so focused on eating that she said nothing. One sandwich wasn’t enough to satisfy her hunger. The extra sandwiches Giles had brought were gone in an instant.