I Confessed To The Crossdresser

Episode 60

Academy Ghost Commotion (8)

“Hartz?”

Professor Hartz slowly approached us with a distorted look. The look at the sight of his brother’s face was heartbreaking.

The expression alone showed how much Professor Hartz looked up to his brother. Professor Hartz came over with trembling hands and tried to hug his brother. But his touch passed through his body, so he couldn’t touch nor hold him. It was strange that he could not hold a person even though he had been holding the pocket watch earlier.

“You’ve grown old, Hartz.”

Unlike Professor Hartz, senior’s father, who spoke calmly, was still smiling. His appearance was clearly young, but his voice and demeanour were mature. Looking at senior’s father, I saw Senior Jimbo move. He glanced at the family reunion and quietly moved away. Even though they were all blood related, senior seemed awkward at this position. 

Professor Hartz and senior’s father also noticed Senior Jimbo stepping away, but did not say anything. As though they understood him, the two of them talked without involving Senior Jimbo. It was awkward for me to be in a place where Senior Jimbo was not there, so I also followed senior out of the library.

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Even though it was summer, the wind was cool. Was it truly cold or was it just windy? The weather had been fine this morning, but now the clouds, which looked like it was going to rain, were murky and hazy. The moon was also not as visible as it had been before.

Senior went to the bench where he sat every day. I couldn’t read his expression. I couldn’t figure out what he was thinking or feeling right now. Did he miss his father or did he resent him? Was he happy to see his father for the first time, or did he hate him? Maybe it was a mixture of all of them.

“……What do you think?”

Senior finally opened his mouth.

“My father, I mean……It’s very strange. I’ve seen his pictures countless times and I’ve heard a lot about him from my mother, yet I still couldn’t believe that that soul is my father.”

“…….”

“Seeing him in person…It’s definitely the same face as the picture, but he was much younger than I thought, so young, and full of dreams. I wanted to talk about what I’ve been holding in, but he looked so exhausted that I couldn’t even say it.”

Senior Jimbo continued to talk while fiddling with his pocket watch. I listened to him, but I still couldn’t grasp what senior truly felt. It was much more complicated than I thought.

And I understood what Senior Jimbo said. Senior’s father was definitely a handsome man on the outside, but he had the look as if he was suppressing everything. For some reason, it felt that each word he spoke carried weight. Right…it was mentioned that it was suicide. 

Unable to withstand the weight and responsibility of the family, he gave up everything and took his own life. If I became a dead soul and faced the son who I gave up myself…I really couldn’t fathom the feeling. Even so, he seemed to know Senior Jimbo well, as if he had been watching Senior Jimbo from the side the whole time.

While observing senior, what did his father want to say to him? How much did he wished to speak to him?

“Senior.”

At my call, senior raised his lowered head.

“I get it, too. Originally, I had parents who raised me yet I chose to die. It’s been a long time since I’ve passed away, and I don’t remember them very well since it took a while before I realised, but I still have a lot of things I want to say to them.[1] So how many things must there be for you?”

[1] PR/N: Bree is talking about her past life before she came into the novel.

“What are you talking about? You’re not dead.”

Senior asked with a smile.

“I can’t talk to them anymore, but you have that chance now.”

“…….”

Upon realising that my expression was serious, senior immediately erased his smile.

“Hey, how about this?”

“…What.”

“I’ll buy you five apple pies, so follow me.”

Senior blanked out at my words before he opened his mouth.

“Why? Are you going to take me to the dentist?”

“I’ll hold your hand if you’re scared.”

At my words, senior nodded and took my hand. Holding senior’s hand, we walked into the library again. At that moment, Professor Hartz and senior’s father who were talking, felt our presence and turned their heads. A smile appeared on senior’s father’s face as we reappeared.

It looked exactly like Senior Jimbo’s smile, so I was a little startled.

Senior Jimbo and his father’s eyes met once again. The father and son looked at each other without saying a word. Professor Hartz, who was in the middle of this, grasped the mood and tapped on Senior Jimbo’s shoulder.

“I’ll be preparing to seal this whole library now.”

“…….”

“Say goodbye without any regrets. Because it’ll be the last time, Jimbo.”

Senior Jimbo did not reply. He was only staring at his father. On the surface, he pretended to be calm like his father, but Senior Jimbo’s hand was gradually heating up. He held my hand tighter and tried not to let go. When his father saw Senior Jimbo and me like that, he opened his mouth first. 

“You have a cute girlfriend.”

“…Is there anything you want to say to me?”

At Senior Jimbo’s words, his father fell silent again.

“Mother is doing well. I’m doing well, too. The family is also prosperous, so I’m well-off.”

“…Really?”

“…Your son has never missed first place every time. I even became the vice captain of the cricket team, so I don’t have to tell you about my school life anymore, right?”

Senior bragged about himself with a nonchalant look.

“Since I’m staying at the dormitory for school, mother is guarding the mansion alone. She says it’s okay on the outside, but I know that in reality she’s lonely and scared. When I was young, mother called my name with tears the moment I was out of sight. She hugged me tightly and said she never wanted to lose anyone again.”

“…….”

“……But she’s a lot better now, so it’s fine. She often has conversations with the aristocratic ladies around her and is very sociable. Mother studied hard not to waste all the materials and everything you left behind. She stayed up all night studying. She came from a poor family and never went to school, and even her writing was not good, but she tried harder than anyone else because of you.”

I felt Senior Jimbo trembling a little, so I glanced at him. To my surprise, Senior Jimbo was crying without a sound. Tears dripped down the tip of senior’s chin as he uttered every word heavily while enduring his feelings.

“What can I say to you who left me with such a mother?”

“…No, you can say a lot to me. As a sinner, I have nothing to say.”

“Do you want to see mother?”

When Senior Jimbo asked cautiously, his father was a little taken aback.

“……No.”

“…….”

“I love your mother more than you think. If I see her, I don’t have the confidence to leave peacefully.”

“It’s not because you feel guilty to see her?”

“Shall I show you my heart?”

His father approached us and soon placed his hand on me and Senior Jimbo’s forehead. Then, in an instant, it felt like I was drowning in the deep sea and something spread in my head like paint. At the same time, I heard a man’s desperate voice.

‘She’s…she’s dead?’

The pain felt like someone was pressing on my heart. Soon, I saw his face soaked with tears. He missed his wife, who died with their own child. Words could not describe the feeling of losing everything and falling off a cliff.

My whole body felt suffocated and cramped, as though I was bound with shackles. A man who lost his one and only woman, lost the value of his life.

“Gasp!”

Returning back to reality, I breathed heavily. It was brief, but it was painful and heartbreaking. Before I knew it, my face was covered with tears. I felt like I was going crazy with the emotions that senior’s father must have felt. In the end, she didn’t die, and it was all the family’s plan, but his father didn’t know about it and threw away his life.

“At the end……you.”

Senior Jimbo did not complete his sentence. His father nodded and saw Professor Hartz, who had finished drawing the magic circle outside the window. They nodded. It was time to be sealed.

“Even if I try to care for you after my death……It didn’t work out. So I simply want to show you my honest feelings.”

A strange noise was heard inside the library. It was the sound of cries in agony when souls of the dead were sealed away. Soon after, the image of Senior Jimbo’s father began to fade.

“I’m sorry.”

Senior’s father said with tears in his eyes.

“I’m sorry, Jimbo.”

“…….”

His fading body fell on top of Senior Jimbo’s body.

“And thank you for growing up well.”

Senior Jimbo’s body stiffened. He hesitated as he tried to touch his father’s back with his empty hand. Then, he finally opened his mouth.

“Goodbye……father.”

Afterwards, everything disappeared. As if nothing had happened. There was only a quiet silence. 

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Please do not repost. Read only at Dropped Inks.

After everything was over, we sat on the bench for a few minutes. The professor told us to go back soon, but Senior Jimbo and I had no intention of leaving.

“Briseis?”

At that moment, I saw Leto who was about to return to the dormitory, as if the training had just ended. When I was taken aback by Leto’s appearance, Senior Jimbo released my hand and pushed me on the back.

“Go inside, it’s late.”

“But……”

“Thank you for today, Bree.”

He patted me on the head before walking away alone. I was staring blankly at senior’s back, but Leto approached me and said with a dissatisfied tone.

“Have you been with him this whole time?”

“…There was a situation.”

“It’s late, let’s go inside first.”

Leto grabbed my hand and took me to the dormitory. However, my gaze was still lingering on senior’s back. After so many twists and turns, the series of events came to an end. There wouldn’t be any more ghost commotion in the future. It would only exist as a memory.

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Please do not repost. Read only at Dropped Inks.

Cricket training had just ended. After training with the first years, Jimbo went into the locker room to organise the rest of his belongings when he saw Leto changing into his training suit there. Embarrassed, Jimbo soon realised that this was the changing room, not the locker room.

“Sorry, I’ll leave.”

Fortunately, Leto was still wearing all of his outerwear.

“You were with Briseis yesterday, weren’t you?”

Leto caught him as he tried to rush out.

“Oh, there was a situation.”

“She’s not saying anything to me. I don’t know what happened, but don’t stay with her until late at night.”

Jimbo was dumbfounded by Leto’s words, and then he smiled and turned his head. Leto’s fierce eyes continued to stare at him.

“People would think that you’re her lover.”

“What did you say?”

“Nothing, I just thought I’d be a little jealous if you were a man.”

Jimbo immediately regretted after spitting that out. For some reason, he felt like he was becoming childish whenever he kept talking about Bree.

“Great. Be jealous.”

“What?”

Jimbo looked at Leto again, wondering what he was talking about. Suddenly, Leto drew a magic circle and casted a nullifying spell. At that moment, his skeleton grew larger, his height and face shape began to change. His hair grew shorter and his fingers became thicker. A pretty woman turned into a beautiful man in an instant. Without even giving time for Jimbo to be surprised, Leto threw off his top in front of him, revealing a man’s abdomen. His toned abs and chest caught Jimbo’s eyes.

“……No way.”

“Don’t touch Briseis Pierre.”

“…….”

“Because I like her.”