I Can Still Salvage It

Shen Changhe and Su Ying watched Shen Mian’s tear-streaked face and felt their hearts being twisted.

They had always been excessively doting on their child. When Shen Mian was young and slightly weak, they held him in their arms like a little kitten. When he was sick, they stayed up all night, and each cry from Shen Mian felt like a knife cutting into their hearts.

Fortunately, as Shen Mian grew up, he became lively and healthy. Although his grades were a bit poor, they didn’t think it was a big deal. As long as Shen Mian could live happily and contentedly, that was enough.

That’s what they always believed. They just wanted their child to be happy.

Su Ying’s eyes turned red. She no longer cared about documents or the law firm. Her body swayed, her high heels on the floor, losing the usual air of authority, instead appearing fragile and pale.

Where did they go wrong? She wondered.

Her two adorable children, why did they have to cause her such embarrassment?

She didn’t want to lose control like Shen Changhe, and she didn’t even want to say harsh words to Pei Zhiyi and Shen Mian.

She wiped away the tears from her eyes, walked over, and looked at those two boys who were now taller than her. She asked almost imploringly, “Tell Mom, was it just a momentary foolishness or are you truly unwilling to separate?” It felt like she was sitting at a negotiation table, except the ones across from her were her own children. “If you admit your mistake, we can pretend this never happened.”

In that moment, she couldn’t help but pray in her heart, praying that Pei Zhiyi and Shen Mian would obediently admit their mistake and let her know that they were sorry, not steadfastly going down the wrong path.

But no one admitted their mistake.

She heard Pei Zhiyi and Shen Mian almost speaking at the same time.

Shen Mian said, “Mom, I really like Pei Zhiyi.”

And Pei Zhiyi said, “Aunt Su, I can’t be without Mian Mian.”

That statement infuriated Shen Changhe once again, causing another pang in his heart, and he gasped for breath.

Su Ying’s eyelashes trembled.

With red eyes, she looked at those two children for a long time before finally squeezing out a sentence from her throat, “You two are so stupid.”

Could it have been avoided?

She had watched Pei Zhiyi and Shen Mian grow up, thinking that they would be lifelong good brothers, but those two children were secretly lovers.

Now that it had been accidentally exposed, their expressions made them appear as if they were villains.

The Shen family was usually full of light, with laughter echoing through the house. The family would chat and the atmosphere was warm.

But that day, the Shen family was silent. The lights in the courtyard were off, and the shadows of the trees swayed, evoking a sense of desolation.

The living room was bright, but the atmosphere was tense, as cold as an icy winter. Shen Changhe and Su Ying sat on the sofa, while Pei Zhiyi and Shen Mian stood in front of the French windows, not speaking, not holding hands, but also not separating.

It wasn’t until Yu Lian received a phone call and rushed back that the suffocating atmosphere in the living room slightly eased.

She hugged Su Ying, didn’t say anything, and just apologized, “I’m sorry.”

Su Ying sighed. She had heard “I’m sorry” enough that day.

“What is there to apologize for?” she whispered. “No one owes me an apology. They owe it to themselves.”

Yu Lian patted Su Ying’s shoulder, exchanged a few more words, and then stood up to take Pei Zhiyi away.

Pei Zhiyi knew in his heart that right then, it was best not to defy the parents’ wishes. But when he glanced at Shen Mian, his feet couldn’t move.

The two of them had spent the whole afternoon under the watchful eyes of Su Ying and Shen Changhe. He couldn’t console Shen Mian or assure him that he would find a solution.

And now, as he was about to leave, Shen Mian could only look at him in despair, his eyes red and pitifully worn out. He clearly didn’t want to let go, but he couldn’t say a word. He could only steal a few more glances.

Pei Zhiyi had never hated himself more for not having matured enough. He shouldn’t have been exposed at that time; he hadn’t had the chance to protect Shen Mian. Now they were like two small boats in the sea, one big wave could shatter them to pieces.

Unable to resist, he gently touched Shen Mian’s face whose cheeks were particularly cold due to the tears.

Then he glanced at Yu Lian, not immediately following her but instead walked to the living room and bowed to Su Ying and Shen Changhe.

He remembered when he used to watch soap operas with Su Ying as a child, the male lead would kneel to propose to the female lead. But when faced with this day himself, he realized that even kneeling to beg for understanding was biased. Because he wasn’t a stranger from the streets; he was the child who had been protected by the Shen family since he was young. Once he knelt down, he would continue stabbing Su Ying and Shen Changhe in the heart.

“Aunt Su, Uncle Shen, I know you definitely hope that Mian Mian and I will separate. Maybe you’ll transfer him to another school or maybe you’ll want me to go abroad. You will think that as long as we don’t see each other, over time we won’t be able to endure it and eventually break up. But Aunt and Uncle, even if you temporarily separate us, I will always find him.”

Pei Zhiyi felt that he was shameless. He clearly saw the sadness in Su Ying’s and Shen Changhe’s eyes.

“I fell in love with him when I was fifteen. Every day since then, I’ve been fantasizing about being with him. When I was sixteen, seventeen, and now eighteen, I was thinking about how to get him. I thought about going to the same university as him in the future. Wherever Shen Mian goes to study, I’ll go with him. When we reach university, I’ll buy a house for both of us. He likes cats, so I’ll let him raise cats. After class, I’ll cook for him, accompany him to watch new anime, and travel to the sea in the summer. And in a few more years, I’ll marry him abroad, and we won’t ever be separated again. I will be his support, his wings. He won’t have to grow up his whole life because I’ll always be by his side.”

That could be said to be his lifelong dream.

Other people’s dreams might be work, academia, or traveling the world.

But his dream and desire, from beginning to end, was always Shen Mian.

So in the end, he couldn’t hold back. He knelt on one knee in front of Su Ying and looked at her with honesty and sincerity. He was slightly shorter than Su Ying, resembling a child once again, looking up at her.

He saw Su Ying cry, and he couldn’t help but feel his eyes moisten as well. He had lost his former maturity and composure.

“Aunt Su, I will treat Mian Mian better than anyone else.” He looked at Su Ying openly and earnestly. “I really love him.”

He was still too despicable, using any means necessary to take advantage of the softness in the hearts of the adults.

And upon seeing that, Shen Mian finally couldn’t hold back anymore and ran over to kneel beside Pei Zhiyi.

He didn’t know what to say; he could only helplessly look at his own parents.

Su Ying covered her eyes with one hand and finally couldn’t resist anymore, bursting into uncontrollable sobs.

Shen Changhe embraced her shoulder, unsure of what to do, and turned his face away, refusing to look at those two heartbroken children.

Su Ying choked up and asked Shen Mian, “But you are two boys, right? Mian Mian, should I not have raised you as a boy…?”

She couldn’t blame anyone else; in the end, she could only blame herself.

Shen Mian cried even more miserably than her and kept apologizing while holding her.

It was supposed to be a joyful and peaceful New Year, with the outside filled with celebration. But the Shen family had become a mess.

.

In the end, Pei Zhiyi went home with Yu Lian.

Shen Changhe and Su Ying were also tired, and they knew that issue couldn’t be resolved overnight.

Su Ying said to Pei Zhiyi, “You and Mian Mian should separate for a while. This is the condition I have.”

Pei Zhiyi had no choice. He glanced at Shen Mian for a while, and Shen Mian looked at him pleadingly.

He had to agree, “Alright, we’ll separate for a while.”

But he didn’t say how long they would be apart, and neither did Shen Changhe and Su Ying. It seemed like an untouchable topic.

.

Yu Lian remained silent throughout the evening. She hadn’t expressed any opinions, whether it be scolding or demands. She quietly led her son into the car.

It was a busy time during the New Year, with many people on the road. Everyone seemed lively and cheerful, parents taking their children out to play, and the children holding balloons in their hands. Everywhere was filled with festive red.

Only the inside of the car was cold and desolate.

After a while, Yu Lian heard Pei Zhiyi ask, “Do you also think we are unforgivable?”

His voice was flat and calm, without any fluctuations, as if he was speaking absentmindedly.

But tears streamed down Yu Lian’s face.

Unforgivable, what a severe word.

She almost thought that Pei Zhiyi deliberately chose such a word to make her feel guilty. But when she looked at Pei Zhiyi, she knew he was sincerely asking.

But that made her even more upset.

After a long time, she gently shook her head.

“No, I don’t think so, but parents need time.”….

For several consecutive days, Shen Mian and Pei Zhiyi didn’t see each other. They didn’t dare to provoke their parents, especially Su Ying and Shen Changhe, during that critical period.

Shen Mian’s phone was confiscated, so he didn’t know that Pei An rushed back from out of town after receiving the news, and the conflict between the father and son was far more intense than at his home.

Although Pei Zhiyi didn’t get along with his father, he didn’t fight back when his father got angry and hit him. In the end, it was his mother who bandaged him.

But he clearly wasn’t someone who would obediently listen.

With bandages on his face, he looked up at Pei An and said, “You haven’t taken care of me since I was a child, and now that it’s too late you want to control me. I swore to be with Shen Mian for the rest of my life. Unless you kill me, I will go to him no matter where it is, whether it’s in the north or south.”

Pei An’s veins bulged, and he wished he could really kill that wicked child. But when he saw Pei Zhiyi’s indifferent face, he felt exhausted and deflated.

In the end, Yu Lian put an end to the war between father and son.

Although she had divorced Pei An , their divorce wasn’t particularly ugly, so they still maintained some friendship over the years.

She was also exhausted those past few days. After closing the door on Pei Zhiyi, she said to Pei An, “Enough, stop causing trouble. Don’t you know your son? Even if you break his legs, he will still go to find Shen Mian someday.”

Pei An tried to stay calm, staring at the closed door and asking, “So what are you planning? Are you really going to let them be together?”

Yu Lian didn’t know either.

In fact, there was a moment when she truly wanted to let it go.

Pei Zhiyi liked Shen Mian, and Shen Mian liked Pei Zhiyi. It didn’t harm anyone, so who was it really bothering?

But in the end, she just wearily shook her head.

.

Meanwhile, Shen Mian was still locked in his room.

He had one more week until school started, but his parents didn’t allow him to see Pei Zhiyi . They had also confiscated his phone, so he could only lie by the window and try to do his homework. However, after a few hours of writing, he made no progress.

Shen Yu still had sibling love for him and had been keeping him company, but Shen Yu couldn’t help him either. Before entering Shen Mian’s room, her own phone was also be taken away.

 she sat next to Shen Mian, bored, flipping through a magazine.

In fact, when she first found out about Shen Mian and Pei Zhiyi, she was quite surprised. But as a modern woman who was well-versed in BL stories, she didn’t find it unacceptable.

In fact, she had a sudden realization.

No wonder Brother Pei treated her brother so well.

No wonder when her brother appeared, Pei Zhiyi’s eyes couldn’t see anyone else.

She absentmindedly looked at the map in the magazine and heard her brother muttering to himself or perhaps asking her, “What do you think Pei Zhiyi is doing?”

Shen Yu paused, turned to look at her brother, and sighed softly, “Missing you, I suppose.”

Shen Mian grew even quieter. He didn’t actually expect a response; he just couldn’t calm down.

During those days at home, he was actually treated quite well. Although the atmosphere at the dining table was overly silent, Shen Changhe and Su Ying wore worried expressions and didn’t even let a single fruit be lacking for him.

Sometimes, Shen Mian felt like a real scoundrel.

Not everyone had parents as gentle as his, and he already had more luck than others. Yet, he still caused trouble for his parents.

Shen Yu and Shen Mian exchanged glances, their similar faces showing a touch of distress.

Finally, Shen Yu let out a long sigh and said, “Wait a moment, I’ll buy a new phone and secretly give it to you. You can contact Pei Zhiyi yourself.”

Shen Mian was deeply moved and hugged her tightly. “When I’m no longer grounded, I’ll buy you anything you want.”

Shen Yu was practical about it. “Thank you. I’ve been wanting a villa in the city center lately.”

Shen Mian paused for a second, then weakly said, “Then I can only deceive Pei Zhiyi into buying it for you…”

.

Shen Yu acted quickly. That night, Shen Yu prepared a new phone with a SIM card and handed it to Shen Mian.

Shen Yu strongly suspected that their parents had already guessed, but they turned a blind eye to it.

Shen Mian couldn’t wait to use the new phone. When it was late at night and everyone in the house was asleep, he dared to hide under the covers and send a message to Pei Zhiyi.

He didn’t know if Pei Zhiyi’s phone had been confiscated, and he was using a new unknown phone number too.

After thinking it over, he sent a secret code to Pei Zhiyi.

“Want to go see the sea?”

They had discussed going to the seaside recently, and he believed that someone as smart as Pei Zhiyi would definitely know it was him if he had his phone.

He waited for a moment, just two seconds, and a reply came from the other side.

“Let’s go.”

“Can you answer calls?”

Shen Mian quickly replied, “Yes.”

He hid under the covers and answered Pei Zhiyi’s call. At the moment he heard Pei Zhiyi’s voice, Shen Mian’s nose inexplicably felt a bit sour.

“Mian Mian,” Pei Zhiyi’s voice was as gentle as ever, “what have you been doing these past two days?”

Shen Mian grumbled in a muffled voice, “Rushing to finish my homework before school starts.”

Pei Zhiyi couldn’t help but laugh, but he was still worried and asked, “Your parents haven’t hit you, right?”

Actually, he knew the chances of Shen Mian getting hit by his parents were very slim, but he still couldn’t help but worry. After all, Shen Mian was someone who would end up with red marks even from a slight touch. How could he withstand punches?

“No, my parents can’t bear to,” Shen Mian sighed, “But it would be more comforting if they did hit me. I’d feel a bit better. And you? Are you also grounded?”

Pei Zhiyi didn’t mention that his father almost broke his rib. “Yes,” he replied, “I’m being closely watched. They’ve assigned security guards at the door, afraid that I’ll run away. Even my mom moved in these past few days. This is the first time she’s stayed here after the divorce.”

Unexpectedly, the divorced couple would live under the same roof again, all because their son came out.

Shen Mian thought that if Yu Lian hadn’t remarried before, Pei Uncle might have thought there was a chance of their remarriage.

The two of them talked about their respective parents’ attitudes, knowing full well that their parents were passively resisting, hoping that their relationship would be unstable and they would break up.

But how could that be possible?

Pei Zhiyi thought that during the years when he secretly loved Shen Mian, he had countless moments of despair and nightmares of Shen Mian being with someone else.

He had no way to confide in anyone and could only pretend as if nothing had happened, staying within the boundaries of being a brother and a childhood friend.

He had endured all those days, and now that Shen Mian finally loved him, unless Shen Mian chose to abandon him, he would never let go.

Shen Mian, sensing Pei Zhiyi’s anxiety, almost at the same time said over the phone, “I will never leave you. I feel so sorry for my parents, and I also feel sorry for your parents. But we can’t help our feelings. I have chosen you, and I won’t marry anyone else.”

Pei Zhiyi’s heart softened as he listened.

But what he was truly worried about wasn’t Shen Mian’s feelings.

What he truly worried about was the bomb tied to Shen Mian, the 80 points they hadn’t obtained yet.

But he didn’t know how to tell Shen Mian. He could hear Shen Mian’s slightly rapid breathing, softly describing their future. He didn’t want to ruin that moment.

Finally, they reluctantly ended the call.

Shen Mian hid the phone well and hugged the blanket, unable to sleep for a long time.

He wondered if it was because he had been sleeping with Pei Zhiyi for so long that he felt this bed was too empty, and sleeping alone felt a bit desolate.

.

Pei Zhiyi also couldn’t sleep for a long time.

He could hear the sound of the breeze brushing against the branches outside the window, as well as the faint sound of water coming from the courtyard. The world was so silent and empty that it made him uneasy.

Perhaps it was because he was deep in thought, but he eventually had a dream.

In the dream, their mission failed, and the remaining 80 points dissipated like bubbles. Shen Mian couldn’t exchange for life-saving medicine, and the cancer rapidly spread throughout his body, draining life out of him and turning him into a withered rose, weakly lying in bed.

He couldn’t bear that outcome.

He stayed by Shen Mian’s hospital bed day and night. This time, no one came to stop them. The parents’ stubbornness had all been defeated by the illness, leaving only sorrow and choking sobs.

But he didn’t care about anyone’s opinion; he only knew to hold onto Shen Mian’s frail wrist.

He was surprised by how thin Shen Mian had become. Two fingers could easily wrap around his wrist.

No matter how tightly he held onto Shen Mian, it couldn’t save his lover’s unstable life.

In the dream, Shen Mian ultimately lay in his embrace. He didn’t have the chance to take Shen Mian to see the sea, give him a home, or raise cats and dogs together.

The future he promised Shen Mian had all turned into illusions.

There was nothing left. They didn’t get married, didn’t have a wedding ceremony.

There was only Shen Mian, unknowingly leaning against him, leaving him with the final words, “Brother, I’m sorry.”

It was Shen Mian’s last apology, apologizing to him, unable to be with him till the end.