Author: B0ucha

Without hesitation, Carcel picked up the fork and started eating.

Charlotte stared blankly at him without even thinking of grabbing the fork because she couldn’t believe this was what had just happened.

After Carcel swallowed the piece of meat, he raised one eyebrow in displeasure as he looked at her as she did not move.

“Why don’t you eat? If you don’t eat, I won’t eat either.”

“Ah! I will eat! I will eat!”

Charlotte began to eat, fearing that he might leave the fork.

Carcel watched her eat the steak.

***

After the day Charlotte and Theo broke into the office, Carcel reappears at lunchtime.

The amount of food he was eating was less than before, but this wasn’t a concern.

Charlotte was grateful he didn’t miss meals.

And the passage of time, which was particularly slow, was the anniversary of the Duchess’s death.

It started snowing earlier than usual, possibly due to the weather being colder than last year.

Charlotte looked out her window and her eyes fell softly, then she put on her black mourning robe. Then she bathed Theo and dressed him in black too.

At Sir Heather’s funeral, Charlotte persuades Theo to wear mourning clothes and he again refuses.

“Sister, this….”

“Theo, you’ve worn this before, right?”

“Mhm, it’s okay.”

Theo looked into Charlotte’s eyes as he answered grimly.

It was the same at Sir Heather’s funeral, but Theo was perhaps more horrified by the atmosphere of the palace, which had sunk so deeply in the last few days, than by his black clothes.

Carcel also had a darker face than at Sir Heather’s funeral.

Perhaps he instinctively felt that this was the day his mother died.

Charlotte manages to calm Theo down and wears mourning clothes. Theo, who was dressed in black, puffed out his cheeks in displeasure.

Charlotte reassured him and told him she would give him some pudding when they got back to the castle.

When I took Theo out into the corridor, I was able to find Carcel standing in front of the door and waiting.

He was completely black from head to toe, and his expression was dark these days, so it seemed that even his face was covered in mourning clothes.

Charlotte couldn’t say anything to him. No matter what you say, I thought this would hurt him.

Even if I mention the weather, Duchess, Theo.

So I took his hand and smiled softly, not everyone knew this, but that smile was like crying.

Carcel also smiled slightly, as if crying, and hugged Theo. Theo buried his face in his shoulder without a word.

The Heinst family cemetery was about ten minutes away by carriage from the mansion.

The three people, relatives, and servants drove to the cemetery in a carriage and performed a light memorial service in front of the Duchess’s grave.

The solemn atmosphere made me suffocated.

Originally Theo was going to make a fuss because he was bored and wanted to go back but he just looked at Carcel and Charlotte and bit his lips.

The priest, who was specially brought for the commemoration, read a memorial article. Then, everyone places white chrysanthemums in sequence in front of the tombstone to honor the deceased.

It was Carcel’s last turn. He muttered helplessly to Charlotte, who left the tulips with Theo.

“It will take some time, so please go back to the palace with Theo first.”

“I will be waiting for you .”

“……….”

“No matter how long it takes, I will wait, let’s get back together.”

“No, don’t wait.”

He turns his back on Charlotte, leaving the words behind. Charlotte saw him walk away and headed to the carriage with Theo, who was beginning to doze off.

***

Even after a long time, Carcel had no intention of returning.

Charlotte put Theo, who had fallen asleep, into the carriage seat and looked at how much time had passed.

Judging from the time Theo complained, about thirty minutes must have passed.

Carcel tells her to go back to the mansion first with Theo. But Charlotte couldn’t, even after Theo fell asleep.

Although she thought Theo could sleep comfortably in the room and that it would be better to go back to the mansion, her heart did not agree.

“Miss, what do we do?”

Celine asked, who had been looking at the tombstone for a long time.

“Shall we go back?”

I asked, but it seemed like she didn’t want Charlotte back. As she looks at the cemetery again and again, it is revealed that she wants Charlotte to go to Carcel.

It wasn’t just Celine. The surrounding knights didn’t say anything but wanted her to go see Carcel.

They were just knights. No matter how much they worried about Carcel, they had to obey his orders.

But his fiancée, Charlotte, is different. She could respect his opinion of wanting to be alone but she wasn’t forced into it at all.

“The problem is, I’m not really his fiancée.”

Charlotte looked at the knights and sighed slightly.

If they really are lovers who will live and die together, you’d better go to Carcel and comfort him.

But wouldn’t it be troublesome to go now? Although she thought about it, she closed the carriage door where Theo was sleeping.

“I will go to the duke.”
Celine, who had a remarkably bright expression, bowed her head without asking twice.

“I will wait here.”

As she walks to Carcel, Charlotte questions several times if it was the right choice.

No matter how much I thought about it, I thought he wouldn’t be happy.

‘Let’s go back.’

But the moment I made such a decision and raised my head, I could see Carcel’s back.

Carcel stood still at the tombstone of the former duke and duchess. Charlotte came closer, but he didn’t look at her.

No, there was no movement. He stood completely still in front of the tombstone.

If it weren’t for the non-stop snow, I would have thought that time had stopped.

Charlotte, who had narrowed the distance between her and him somewhat, stopped walking without approaching him. Carcel, more sensitive than anyone else, hasn’t looked back.

First, he might have sensed her presence but he didn’t care.

Second, he might have been lost in thought because he didn’t feel any presence.

Honestly, Charlotte didn’t know what was the right thing. However, for whatever reason, she felt she had to give Carcel some time alone.

So she hid her body behind a big tree. She stopped breathing a bit because she didn’t want him to hear her.

It snowed more heavily than when the memorial service was held. Bare branches swayed incessantly in the howling wind, and his black hair, contrasting with white, fluttering in the wind.

‘What is he thinking?’

Charlotte wondered what he was thinking now.

She thought she knew him somehow after the festival. He would keep his mouth shut when he was at a disadvantage and would prefer meat to seafood.

He always practiced swordsmanship at the same time at dawn and was so absorbed in his work that he would look at the papers even if he went to bed.

At first, he seemed to skip meals a lot, but lately, he’s been eating every single day.

I still do not know. Although he was obviously a humble person, I felt that he was a bit strange.

‘I guess I should say something….?’

But she couldn’t find the right words, so she hesitated.

Charlotte had died before, but she never let her precious one go. She could sympathize with the fear of a person who was about to die, but I could not sympathize with a person who was left alone.

So I was afraid to speak willingly.

I’m afraid my clumsy consolation will become poison.

After hesitating for a while, I stepped forward. I still can’t figure out what to say.

Only, as if possessed by something, she, without hesitation, went to the tombstone of the Duchess.

Carcel’s eyes widened when he saw Charlotte standing next to him.

Charlotte, who had closed her eyes for a moment and prayed for her safety, slowly raised her head to meet Carcel’s gaze.

Carcel’s purple eyes were slightly bloodshot but dry. Charlotte felt it was pathetic.

Unable to rely on others, he didn’t show his weakness even in this kind of situation.

Carcel looked at Charlotte and opened his mouth. It was a dry, shrill sound like sand wind blowing in the desert.

“… Why are you crying?”

He didn’t say why are you here but why are you crying, Charlotte later finds out she was only crying after hearing the question.

But it wasn’t embarrassing.

“You wouldn’t believe it if I told you there was something in my eyes right?”

Charlotte smiled as she wiped her wet eyes with the back of her hand.

“I just think someone has to cry.”

I didn’t want to say something obvious like I’m crying for you because you don’t cry. I didn’t want to offer the obvious consolation that he didn’t have to hold back his tears.

For now, this one word will be enough. She hoped her consolation had reached Carcel’s heart.

Carcel didn’t ask anymore. But Charlotte noticed that his dry eyes were getting wet little by little.

Suddenly Carcel turned his back on her.

He looked up at the sky and clenched his fists, then lowered his head. His shoulder, which felt small today, was trembling slightly.

There was no sound of crying, even at this moment, the mighty First Winter Wind blew wildly and wept instead of him who swallowed his own weeping.

Charlotte did not pat him on the back. She couldn’t even offer any reasonable consolation.

The words she gave him were so simple anyone could have said them.

“It’s okay.” or “It’s all right.”

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