Heartbeat of Innocence

The few days before Gaokao, Chen Jingchuan didn’t have the time to ride the motorcycle home with Shen Dongyu again.

In the evening after school, Shen Dongyu and Lin You were waiting for the bus, stopping for a while. Chen Jingchuan finished his classes early for once, and walked towards them as he accompanied his classmates.

Without knowing why, Shen Dongyu’s mood would always get better after seeing Chen Jingchuan. It was like one of those little joys of life that could get him jumping with excitement, easily satisfied.

They hadn’t talked to each other yet, only chatting with their friends.

There were elementary schoolers right next to them, who were also just let out of school and waiting for the bus.

The evening sun poured down from the edge of the station’s high ceiling, making the backs of the youths blend into the light.

While the bus still hasn’t arrived, a little girl next to Shen Dongyu had especially red cheeks from the heat and sweated profusely. Seeing how much she suffered from the temperatures of this weather, Shen Dongyu could only pull out a book from his backpack to help fan her. 

As Lin You and Chen Jingchuan watched this scene, it really was funny. Yet it also felt very natural, giving off an unmatchable sense of gentleness. 

The windows at the back of the bus were open. The wind messed up Shen Dongyu’s hair, and the blue curtain edges endlessly slapped against his face. It was slightly itchy, but he didn’t know how to tie it back. Just as he was trying to figure out how to do it, Chen Jingchuan reached out and familiarly buckled the curtains back against the window. 

“I didn’t know how to do it.” Shen Dongyu awkwardly shrugged. 

Chen Jingchuan sat down beside him, then reached over Shen Dongyu to open the window even more, ignoring his uneasiness. 

“Why are you so early today?” Shen Dongyu felt the atmosphere freeze up, and grasped for words. 

“I left early.” Chen Jingchuan said. 

“Oh.”

Shen Dongyu knew how to read words and expressions. Seeing Chen Jingchuan focus his sight straight ahead, he guessed that he didn’t have any intention of chatting with him, so he also stopped speaking. 

Every time the bus passed by a stop, the sound of its announcements would rise and fall. Shen Dongyu pressed his forehead against the window, moving his sight to the streetlights and sky outside. 

Chen Jingchuan saw his quiet appearance and also didn’t bother him. He knew that he was overthinking, but he didn’t bother to explain anything, only gazing outside the window in a silent daze, not thinking about those trifles and troubles for this short while. 

When they were two stops away from their destination, Chen Jingchuan pulled Shen Dongyu to get off early. 

Shen Dongyu also didn’t ask him where they were going, only blankly following behind him at a slow pace. 

He walked down the pavement behind the housing community. The fence had split the road into halves, with a few cars occasionally driving by, bringing about a hot wind that made the gingko leaves on top of his head rustle. Shen Dongyu looked up at the trees that almost touched the clouds, breathing peacefully. 

The road was long and winding. Shen Dongyu wondered what it would look like at night. The lights around were taller too, and there was a river and bridge that no one passed by. 

“How long until we get home?” Shen Dongyu caught up to Chen Jingchuan. 

“Ten minutes.” Chen Jingchuan’s tone held thorns, “You busy?”

“No.” Shen Dongyu smiled indifferently. It was obvious that Chen Jingchuan was in a bad mood and took his anger out on him, but he bravely opened his mouth to ask, “What happened to you?”

Chen Jingchuan had both of his hands in his pants pockets, and his back was thin and straight. From Shen Dongyu’s perspective, all he saw was his side profile. 

“You can tell me.” 

Shen Dongyu knew that it wasn’t a good feeling to keep things bottled up inside, and what Chen Jingchuan kept in his heart wasn’t really a secret. If Chen Jingchuan couldn’t find anyone else to vent to, then he was willing to be a qualified listener. 

Chen Jingchuan suddenly lowered his head and laughed, turning to look at Shen Dongyu’s bright eyes, “It’s not a big deal, just annoying.”

“Really?” Shen Dongyu didn’t believe him. 

“Yup.”

“Alright.”

During the last rain of June, Gaokao also ended amid the sound of thunder and pouring rain. New journeys started in new cities, but it also left behind the reluctance to leave the old world.

Summer in the south was its rainy season, and showers of rain kept pouring into Shanghai. It was on a rare sunny day that Shen Dongyu found that Chen Jingchuan had been admitted by a college in Beijing. 

The summer of that year passed by very fast, as it also rained very much, and many stories and conflicts finally came to an end. 

Returning home amidst light sprinkles, Jiang Yuan gave a call to Chen Lu, telling him to buy two catties1approximately 2.6 lbs of beef after work, and that he might as well also drop by Danshui Road for some pastries before coming back. 

The lights in the living room were off, and the gauze curtains quietly hung on the corners of the wall. The gloomy colors outside the window only made the curtains’ white appear even whiter. There was another new plant among the greenery on the balcony, probably bought by Chen Jingchuan. 

It was also on this day that Jiang Yuan told Shen Dongyu to go to a cafe on Nanjing Street, to deliver an umbrella to Chen Jingchuan. At that time, Shen Dongyu was still asleep at home. The effects of his medicine still hadn’t worn off, so he wanted to refuse. But then Jiang Yuan said that lately, Chen Jingchuan had a lot of things on his mind. She hoped Shen Dongyu could chat with Chen Jingchuan for her. 

After climbing out of bed, he directly got on a taxi downstairs and headed over. 

The cafe had a few kittens that the store owner raised. When they saw a stranger, they weren’t afraid to even reach out a little paw and scratch at the glass, as if they wanted to play with Shen Dongyu. He bent down and greeted them with a smile, softly and warmly saying hello. 

Shen Dongyu stood next to the cats’ cabinet and waited for about ten minutes, but still couldn’t see Chen Jingchuan in the surrounding area. He gave him a voice call, but the other party didn’t pick up. He continuously tried calling him twice without much success, so he could only give a call to Jiang Yuan. Not to mention that he didn’t know Chen Jingchuan’s number2I’m assuming he only had Chen Jingchuan’s WeChat, not his actual phone number. It’s like having someone’s discord/insta instead of their number, only having a single method of communication really wasn’t sufficient. 

When Jiang Yuan called back, she also couldn’t get through to Chen Jingchuan. From this, Shen Dongyu deduced that Chen Jingchuan wasn’t ignoring his calls on purpose, but probably had his phone turned off, or some other reason. 

Shen Dongyu didn’t dare to leave, so he found a seat in a corner of the cafe. The rain kept pouring down, getting heavier and heavier. The number of people outside the remote cafe also became scarcer. 

The hands of the retro clock hanging on the stone wall were already pointed at a quarter past eight. 

An employee came over to give him some warm water. Shen Dongyu watched the streets outside, deciding that he’d leave after ten more minutes. 

Time passed quickly. He got up to settle the bill. After sitting for so long, he also had some words to exchange with that employee. She asked if he was waiting for someone. 

The employee’s memory was good. Shen Dongyu only described Chen Jingchuan’s appearance once, and she immediately remembered it. Yet with a regretful tone, she told him that he had already left after six o’clock. 

Shen Dongyu didn’t mind, and instead gave her a slight smile. Then, with the umbrella that was for Chen Jingchuan, he looked back and thanked her. 

The streets were wet, and the people heading home after work gathered on the motorway; The honking showed the impatience and anxiety of the drivers. Under the rainy cape, there were faces of tiredness and the struggles of busy lives. 

Shen Dongyu was momentarily in a daze, not seeing Chen Jingchuan getting off a taxi right ahead. 

It wasn’t until Chen Jingchuan stood directly in front of him that he opened his mouth in surprise to talk, but Chen Jingchuan was a step ahead of him. 

“Are you stupid?” Right after Chen Jingchuan went home in the rain, Jiang Yuan hurriedly urged him to go look for Shen Dongyu, saying that he had gone out to deliver an umbrella to himself. He was still in an irritable mood, making the words that came out of his mouth sound a little harsh. 

Shen Dongyu’s expression lost its smile, as he slightly complained, “Auntie told me to give this umbrella to you. My voice calls didn’t go through, and I don’t have your number, so I could only wait.”

“If it doesn’t go through, then just leave. Can’t I get wet from the rain?” Chen Jingchuan’s voice was somewhat loud, making people think that Shen Dongyu was the one in the wrong. 

“But if auntie made me come here, then she obviously didn’t want you to get wet.” Shen Dongyu also raised his voice. 

The two started laughing at the banter. Shen Dongyu reached out to hit Chen Jingchuan once, saying he couldn’t see other people’s good intentions. 

Chen Jingchuan took the umbrella handle that was warmed up by Shen Dongyu’s palm into his own hand, stretching it open. They walked together onto the city streets, which appeared multicolored and distorted from the rain. 

Chen Jingchuan also finally told Shen Dongyu the troubles that he originally didn’t want to disclose. He had sat in that cafe with Yuan Yao, clearly discussing their ideas on the subject. Not having a single complaint can be seen as having achieved a peaceful breakup. 

The sound of the rain buried most of the voices. Shen Dongyu thought of that kiss in the corner of the classroom, of Yuan Yao’s breathing uncontrollably rising and falling. 

The rain fell from the edge of the umbrella onto their sleeves, and the drizzles of rain were blown into their sight by the eastward wind, making their visions blurrier and blurrier. Not able to see the road, Shen Dongyu tightly held onto Chen Jingchuan’s hand. 

“You don’t regret it?” Shen Dongyu asked. 

It was after they walked to a busier street where they could hail taxis that they discovered the rain had lightened. Chen Jingchuan waved to stop a taxi, and only answered in the fleeting moment as he pulled open the door. “I don’t regret it.”

Chen Jingchuan was someone who was rational, he didn’t like to say unrealistic things. He preferred things that were more concrete and sensible, more realistic than imaginary. 

 

TL: It’s nice that Chen Jingchuan is also starting to open up to Shen Dongyu =w= Though not gonna lie, this is like the calm before the storm.

1approximately 2.6 lbs2I’m assuming he only had Chen Jingchuan’s WeChat, not his actual phone number. It’s like having someone’s discord/insta instead of their number