Heartbeat of Innocence

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The long distance cut out the possibility of Shen Dongyu from visiting Chen Jingchuan for some time. The only contact between them was through more frequent phone calls.

A week before the new year, Shen Dongyu and Chen Jingchuan called each other twice. During the first one, Chen Jingchuan said that Sunset Rollercoaster would have a concert in Beijing after Chinese New Year, and he wanted Shen Dongyu to come with him. Shen Dongyu smiled lightly and said yes.

The light in the stairway kept malfunctioning even after repair attempts. The busy work of Jiang Yuan and Chen Lu made the task of fixing it get put away for a long time without being able to get back to it.

Until one day when Shen Dongyu came home late, he naturally reached to turn on the light, thinking it would light up as always. But the malfunctioning light switch shocked him, and the electricity flow made his index finger lose sensations for about ten seconds, leaving his joint in pain afterwards.

Shen Dongyu dialed Chen Jingchuan’s number this winter night on the stairs, and said something that was very random and strange to Chen Jingchuan.

He asked when he would be back to fix it.

Chen Jingchuan found out that he was drunk during the conversation, so he stopped asking about the light, assuming it was just random mumbling as a result of drinking.

The next morning, Shen Dongyu woke up with messy hair, and entered the bathroom to shower in the morning as he always did, so he wasn’t able to answer Chen Jingchuan’s call right away.

That day, Chen Jingchuan took a break. When Shen Dongyu called, he had just finished buying the ticket. He called Shen Donyu again before he got onto the airplane to tell him the specific information about his flight so he could pick him up at the airport.

Shen Dongyu got tired easily, so while he waited for Chen Jingchuan to come out of the Terminal 1 exit, he was sitting in the seat, spacing out, holding his coffee.

He rarely used social media too. He usually exited right after he replied to Shen Shuran’s message. They usually contact each other by phone because Shen Dongyu had been feeling like this period of time had a suffocatingly fast flow of information; many things were constantly being replaced, but the phone number only belonged to one person. Uneasy to change, like one’s name.

But when he told Lin You about it, she pointed at him, saying she didn’t know people could still be this old-fashioned, just like he expected her to react.

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Actually, he just wanted something he could keep for a long time without it changing so quickly.

The radio stopped his train of thought. Shen Dongyu threw the empty coffee cup into the corresponding type of trash bin, putting his hand into his coat pocket, standing in front of the handrail, and looking at the escalator further away.

Shen Dongyu didn’t think that he would miss Chen Jingchuan that much. Other than verbal communication, they barely looked each other in the eyes. On such a normal day, Shen Dongyu found that looking Chen Jingchuan in the eye could also be something that brought him pleasure.

Chen Jungchuan had been looking at Shen Dongyu since he was inside the exit hall, all the way until he exited it. It wasn’t until he stood in front of Shen Dongyu that he told him, “Come here.”

Shen Dongyu wasn’t sure what he would do, but he still did it as he said.

“Did you feel better lately? Did you drink again last night?” Chen Jingchuan pulled Shen Dongyu’s hand out of his pocket. His hand was so warm that Shen Dongyu didn’t want to let go of it too soon, and he also didn’t sense any means of knowing what Chen Jingchuan wanted to do next.

The new scar on the wrist was exposed in the air, so Shen Dongyu regretted his carelessness just now. He was frustrated that he didn’t know how to refuse Chen Jingchuan so that he could’ve prevented this from happening.

And so he wouldn’t feel so awkward too.

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But Chen Jingchuan didn’t say anything. He just pulled down the rolled up sleeves of his coat and gently hugged Shen Dongyu.

“Thank you,” Shen Dongyu said in his arms. Even though he didn’t need Chen Jingchuan’s comfort, he still said it as he thought he should.

After coming home and having the delicately prepared lunch prepared by Jiang Yuan, Chen Jingchuan walked to the end of the hallway and knocked on the tightly shut door of Shen Dongyu’s room.

It seemed like Shen Dongyu slept for a long time while Chen Jingchuan wasn’t aware. His face was pale and he was frowning. When he saw Chen Jingchuan just now, he didn’t show any energy and excitement like he did a few hours ago in the airport and instead blamed Chen Jingchuan for waking him up from his dream.

“You slept for so long, but what are you going to do at night?” Chen Jingchuan pushed open the door slightly and saw some parts of his room.

The blinds closed together without any gaps, not letting any bit of light escape. If not looking at the time, just being in Shen Dongyu’s room would make one think it’s afternoon now.

“You could have opened up the blind.” Chen Jingchuan said

Shen Dongyu looked at the blinds, which were very effective at covering the light, and stopped him with some lethargy and impatience. “I don’t like it being too bright, just leave it like this.”

Chen Jingchuan pursed his lips helplessly and clarified the reason he came to his room: “Do you want to go out and hangout with me for a while?”

In the afternoon, when Shen Dongyu and Chen Jingchuan returned, he had ate half of a sleeping pill, and that had made him sleep until now. Because of the pill, his mind was blank and his reaction was slow, so it took him a while to understand Chen Jingchuan’s words.

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“Let’s go then.” Shen Dongyu said hesitantly.

“Okay, I’ll wait for you at the parking lot downstairs.” Chen Jingchuan responded quickly, so fast that it felt like he was afraid of Shen Dongyu changing his mind in the middle of it.

Chen Jingchuan, who hadn’t returned to Shanghai since half a year ago, wasn’t that sensitive toward the changes in the surroundings: the newly built buildings, the newly opened fruit shops on the streetside, and the convenient stores Shen Dongyu had beers in that now became a personal clothing shop.

Maybe it was because he wasn’t used to seeing something unfamiliar anymore as he walked past, but it also seemed not quite so for Shen Dongyu.

He would only ask Chen Jingchuan some unmeaningful questions like “Why would they move?”

Chen Jingchuan didn’t answer Shen Dongyu but only fixed his tilted white caps and said, “Where do you want to go?”

Shen Dongyu finally looked Chen Jingchuan in the face, lightly biting his lips, and hardly giving Chen Jingchuan an answer, “Just take me somewhere around school.”

The sun was setting. The wind brought by the swishing motorcycle made the twigs and leaves sway. Shen Dongyu’s arm moved through the cold wind, daringly wrapping around Chen Jingchuan’s waist, and he laid one side of his face onto his back. He sensed the familiar smell that brought him a sense of security.

“I’m a bit tired, can I hug you?” Shen Dongyu knew that he was already hugging him, and still asked such a meaningless question, but he wanted to see his reaction.

The loud noise of the engines echoed in the street, Chen Jingchuan almost didn’t hear Shen Dongyu’s words, and responded, “Go ahead.”

Shen Dongyu closed his tired eyelids when he heard that, and smiled on Chen Jingchuan’s thin and safe back.

At least for now, Chen Jingchuan won’t suddenly leave, like that time at the convenience store.

He thought in his heart.

“Come with me to visit Thailand on the 13th.”

Chen Jingchuan had a plan for his vacation, and didn’t want to stay at home for so many days with nothing to do. Li Muxu deliberately emphasized that he wanted the two of them to go, but when Chen Jingchuan was hugged by Shen Dongyu, he reneged on Li Muxu’s request.

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“Us two?” Shen Dongyu slightly raised his head, looked at Chen Jingchuan’s ear, waiting for his reply.

“And Muxu.” Chen Jingchuan described the Bangkok trip beautifully, and the whole plan suited Shen Dongyu very well.

Bangkok was located in the tropical zone, and had many seasons. December was the cool season, but the temperature wasn’t too cold. Shen Dongyu didn’t like winter, so it was best for them to go to Bangkok.

There were also so many delicacies that it was impossible to try them all. Shen Dongyu will probably like coconut ice cream.

He was included in Chen Jingchuan’s plan, making him unable to refuse. Although Li Muxu was also part of the plan, he didn’t care.

When Chen Jingchuan thought he would refuse, he agreed in a small voice and leaned on his back again, his arms tightening even more.

On the night of Lunar New Year’s Eve, Shen Dongyu and Chen Jingchuan landed at Bangkok Airport.

There, they met up with Li Muxu, who had arrived first, before to the hotel that Chen Jingchuan had booked in advance. The hotel room was large, having three bedrooms that were separated from the living room, bathroom, and toilet.

Shen Dongyu chose the room that faced the sea. It wasn’t until after he had taken a shower and laid down in the quilt that he realized he had completely arrived in a different country, foreign and unfamiliar.

This realization made it difficult for him to sleep.

Bangkok’s night wasn’t quiet, as the ebb and flow of the tide could be heard through the glass. Shen Dongyu got up, opened the small box within the suitcase, took out two pills from it, and quickly swallowed them down with water.

The sleeping pills’ effect didn’t work that fast, but it allowed him to sleep deeply, without having any dreams.

As if in a daze, he slightly opened his eyes and stared at the rich coconut groove outside, and he could vaguely see the unripe coconuts on the tree. When Shen Dongyu saw this, his heart, which always felt so sore, heaved a sigh of relief. This made him relax a lot more.

Shen Dongyu had slept for too long. Chen Jingchuan worriedly entered his bedroom, and woke up the person who was deep in sleep.

“Still not getting up? It’s almost noon.” The curtains in the room were forgotten to be drawn last night, and the strong noon sun blazed in overwhelmingly. Chen Jingchuan stood in it, and it almost blinded Shen Dongyu.

He covered his eyes with the back of his hand, and pleaded in an aggrieved voice, “Can you help me close the curtains first? My eyes hurt.”

“Sorry, I woke you up.” Chen Jingchuan said, “But you really can’t sleep anymore.”

He quickly closed the curtains, and the room immediately became dark. Shen Dongyu took his hand away, and sat up lazily.

“Hurry and get ready, let’s go downstairs and take a walk.” Chen Jingchuan tugged on his hand that rested on the quilt, then left the room after he finished talking, waiting outside.

Shen Dongyu didn’t make Chen Jingchuan and Li Muxu wait for too long. He put on a simple T-shirt and shorts, and went out.

They found a famous restaurant for a meal. The waiter enthusiastically introduced the dishes, a lot of the meals on the menu were ticked off, and Shen Dongyu ticked off a glass of lemon sprite.

A lot of people came here for lunch, so the food was served very slowly, but a simple glass of lemon sprite was quick. Chen Jingchuan and Li Muxu discussed their college lives and future plans. Shen Dongyu couldn’t get a word in and couldn’t understand. With a straw in his mouth, he looked towards the heart of Bangkok, outside the floor-to-ceiling windows.

 

TL: finally a break from all that angst, hopefully this trip can help out on Dongyu’s recovery

My bad about last week’s lack of update, I got a bit toooo caught up in trying to 112% Hollow Knight (i’m still not done pantheons are pure hell save me)