Defeated By Love

Shu Nian glanced down and rummaged through her bag: “It’s fine, I brought my own.” 

Deng Qingyu sat in the front passenger seat and looked back after hearing the sounds: “Niannian’s awake? We’re arriving soon. Are we going to grandpa’s first? And are you going to live with grandfather?”1 

Shu Nian thought for a moment: “I’m going to live with grandfather.”

“…” Deng Qingyu was hesitant and ask her for her opinion. “Then we’ll go visit grandpa first and then go to grandfather later?”

Shu Nian nodded: “Okay.” 

The house they used to live in Shiyan Town had been sold. 

Her grandpa lived in her uncle’s house and there were no spare rooms for them to live in. Deng Qingyu would have to follow her husband and live in her mother-in-law’s house but their house was also not very big and couldn’t fit that many people. 

So in the end, Shu Nian felt that it was more appropriate for her to go to her grandfather’s house.

Her grandpa and grandma preferred sons over daughters. Deng Qingyu’s older brother had two sons, who were brought up by them since childhood so they weren’t that close with their granddaughter, Shu Nian.  

Their attitude towards Shu Nian wasn’t bad but it also wasn’t warm either. They wouldn’t ask about her even if they haven’t seen her in a long time.  

Wang Linxi was a child brought in by Deng Qingyu’s remarriage. Except for the three of them, there was nobody else who would take the initiative to talk to him and was treated as a guest in the house.

After dinner. 

Taking notice of the two children’s silence, Deng Qingyu didn’t stay for long and mentioned leaving. The four of them went together and got back into the car. Shu Nian’s paternal grandparents lived nearby and only took a few minutes to drive there. 

The two elders learned in advance that Shu Nian was coming and was already waiting at the door for her. 

Shu Nian got out of the car and respectfully addressed them: “Grandfather, grandmother, I’m back.” 

“Is it Niannian?” Shu Nian’s grandmother smiled kindly and came over to take her hand. She scanned her body over from head to toe: “Why are you so thin? Are you not eating well in Ruchuan?” 

Shu Nian pursed her lips and smiled but she didn’t say anything. 

Grandfather Shu reminded his wife from the back: “Come in first, don’t let the child stand in the cold.” 

Deng Qingyu said a few words to the elderly couple and then turned to speak a few sentences to Shu Nian. After, she went to her mother-in-law’s house with Wang Hao.

When their car left, Shu Nian took her grandparents’ hands and was about to enter the house with them when she heard a woman’s cry come from somewhere not too far away. 

She looked back. 

It was a middle-aged woman with dishevelled hair. She looked crazy and behind her was a young man who was helplessly pulling on her: “Mum, don’t do this… let’s go home, okay?”

The woman cried and said to herself. “Xiangxiang… Where has our Xiangxiang gone? Why can’t we find her… it’s going to be the Spring Festival soon, why isn’t she home yet…?” 

The young man tried coaxing her. “How about we go home first? Xiangxiang may already be home.”  

Shu Nian recognised her. 

It was Chen Xiang’s mother. 

When she was in junior high school, Chen Xiang, who was in the classroom beside hers had suddenly disappeared and was found dead a week later. 

Grandfather Shu looked at Shu Nian and pulled on her hand: “Let’s go back.” 

The next moment, Aunt Chen raised her eyes and saw Shu Nian. She stopped crying as if she had recognised something. Her eyes widened and she slowly came over to stand in front of Shu Nian. 

Shu Nian subconsciously held her breath and stepped back. 

The young man quickly pulled her back: “Mum!” 

Aunt Chen didn’t do anything else. She looked at her and then began crying again: “Good child… good child…”

Shu Nian’s clenched fists slowly loosened and she softly comforted her: “Auntie, don’t be sad.”

Aunt Chen was around the same age as Deng Qingyu but her hair had turned white and her face was full of wrinkles. She looked old and dissolute, unable to find happiness anymore because her daughter had died tragically during the most crucial growth stage of her life. 

No matter what happened, she couldn’t be happy.

Every day and night was like living in hell.

She would rather let herself die in her daughters’ place than live alone in a world like this. 

Shu Nian was a little nervous and the palms of her hands were getting sweaty. She rubbed the sweat on her trousers and reached out to take Aunt Chen’s hand, whispering. “The bad guy has been arrested; Chen Xiang can rest in peace as a spirit in heaven.”  

Probably because of Aunt Chen’s appearance, her grandparents’ mood became heavy. 

When the three of them entered the house, Grandma Shu spoke to her. “Normally it’s okay but as soon as the Spring Festival comes, she will start crying and search for Chen Xiang everywhere.” 

Shu Nian gave a dull hum. 

Grandma Shu looked at her expression and didn’t mention it anymore. She sighed: “In a blink of an eye, your father has been gone for nearly five years. Time passed by really fast… Why is he buried in Ruchuan? It’s hard for me and your grandfather to visit him.”

Shu Nian curled her lips and said. “I’ll drive you there in the future. Let’s go together.” 

“Niannian.” Grandfather Shu waved at her.

Shu Nian went over and squatted in front of him like a little puppy: “Grandfather.” 

Grandfather Shu rubbed her head. He looked like he was in a trance and stared at her eyebrows that were similar to Shu Gaolin’s. His eyes turned red and tears gathered. He kept repeating three words back and forth.

“That’s really good…”

The two elders couldn’t stay up late and went to bed on time at 9 o’clock. 

Shu Nian sorted through her suitcase and took a shower in the bathroom. Then, she went back to her room. She was going to sleep in the room where Shu Gaolin used to sleep in and the decorations in there were the same as before.

Only the windows were different. There were anti-theft barriers on them and the door to the room was equipped with two more locks. 

When Shu Nian saw the two locks, her expression turned to surprise. She could guess that it was Deng Qingyu who told them this. She pursed her lips and her nose suddenly began to sour. 

She turned on the light and climbed into bed. Then, she shrank into the quilt. 

The past few days had all been festivals.

Yesterday was Shu Nian’s birthday, today was Valentine’s Day, and tomorrow would be Chinese New Year’s Eve. Shu Nian scrolled through her social media and was fed a bunch of dog food. Soon, she clicked off it.

Shu Nian didn’t know what to do and laid in bed in boredom, making bubble sounds for a while. 

Very quickly, she got sleepy and her eyelids gradually dropped as if they were being pulled down by something. She turned over and was about to duck her whole head under the quilt to sleep. 

But the next moment, her phone rang. 

Shu Nian was so sleepy that she couldn’t even open her eyelids and answered the phone in confusion: “Hello?”
  
Xie Ruhe’s voice came into her ear: “Shu Nian.” 

At that time, it was only 10PM which was still early for how the two of them normally operated. 

Shu Nian roughly rubbed her eyes. She didn’t know what he was looking for her for but she just wanted to hear him finish speaking to hang up the phone and continue sleeping: “What’s wrong?” 

He was silent for a few seconds and then softly asked. “Are you planning to stay up for the New Year?” 

Shu Nian repeated it: “Staying up for the New Year?”

“En.” 

Shu Nian felt that it was a little strange but after struggling for a long time, she couldn’t actually find anything strange about it so she just sat up and suppressed her sleepiness, nodding seriously: “I’m staying up.”

They spoke for a while and Shu Nian gradually grew awake. 

She remembered what she had done today and hesitated to say. “Is it New Year’s Eve?” 

“…” Xie Ruhe didn’t say anything. 

“Then I don’t think I’ve eaten New Year’s Eve dinner today.” Shu Nian scratched her head and asked in a whisper. “Should I go and make it up now?”2

The other end was still silent. 

Shu Nian thought about it and wondered out loud: “But wasn’t my birthday just yesterday…?” 

Before Shu Nian could finish speaking, Xie Ruhe interrupted her as if he was someone that had been exposed from telling a lie. He said in a somewhat embarrassed tone: “I remembered the wrong date.” 

Shu Nian’s brain hadn’t caught up yet: “Huh?” 

“Today is not New Year’s Eve.” 

“What is it then?”

Xie Ruhe paused and whispered. “… It’s Valentine’s Day.”