Defeated By Love

Translated by Fairy_Dust

If you enjoy the novel then please think about showing the novel some support by buying a Ko-fi~

It was early February and Ruchuan City had just entered deep winter. 

Shu Nian’s physique wasn’t too good. Whenever winter came, her hands and feet would get really cold. She was afraid of getting sick and having that affect her voice so she deliberately wore more pieces of clothing when she dressed. 

For the quality of the recordings, there was no air conditioner in the studio and there was not enough funding to install an ultra-quiet air conditioner either. 

After staying there for a while, Shu Nian’s hands had turned numb. Taking advantage of break, she went out to the lounge for a cup of hot water. After, she took a heating patch from her bag and stuck it on herself. 

The box Xie Ruhe gave her caught her sight. Shu Nian paused and took it out. 

She wanted to see if there was anything in it, turned on the MP3 player and plugged her earphones in. She rolled her eyes, except for a few hundred songs there were no other files.

However, Shu Nian had a little impression of the songs. 

They seemed to be all of Xie Ruhe’s songs. 

She randomly clicked on one of the songs. 

After listening to it for a bit, Shu Nian felt that the song was a little familiar but also strange. She suddenly remembered something and looked at the title of the song. Then, she took out her phone and searched up the song on the internet.

It was a song written by Xie Ruhe but it was for someone else to sing. 

However, at that moment, the voice coming through the earphones was Xie Ruhe’s. 

Shu Nian just thought that he had put in the version he sang but even after searching the internet for a long time, she couldn’t find his cover. She picked up the MP3 player again and licked her lips as she played another song written by Xie Ruhe for other singers. 

——It was still Xie Ruhe’s voice. 

Shu Nian’s heartbeat inexplicably increased. She took off her earphones and realised that the gift Xie Ruhe gave her was not the MP3 in her hand but the things inside the MP3.

He sang all of his songs in his own voice and then gave them to her. 

It was something more precious than she thought. 

Shu Nian put the MP3 back into the box, feeling a little lost in her mind. She suddenly remembered the first birthday she passed with Xie Ruhe after they got closer.

It was during winter vacation of their first year of high school. 

That year, her birthday just happened to be on New Year’s Eve, the day before Chinese New Year. 

Shu Gaolin came back from the city and brought her a birthday present which was a ukulele. After that, Shu Nian went to her grandparents’ house for New Year’s Eve dinner with her parents and it was already 10PM when they got back home. 

Shu Nian always went to bed on time at 9:30PM so by then her eyelids were already very heavy. Her family had never had the custom of staying up for the New Year. After taking a shower, she said a “Happy New Year” to Deng Qingyu and was ready to go to bed. 

She went back to her room and yawned as she dried her hair with a hairdryer. 

The room was filled with deafening whirling sounds that overpowered any other sound around her.  

Shu Nian did things gently and seriously. She blew her hair slowly as if she was counting each stand one by one. After a long time, she finally put down the hairdryer in her hand and turned off the light before quickly getting into the bed next to her. 

At the same time, she heard a gentle knock on the window. 

At first, Shu Nian thought that she had heard it wrong but later a second knock sounded. She sat up, rubbing her eyes and wondering what that was. She jumped out of bed and opened the curtains.

Looking through the glass, she saw Xie Ruhe’s pale face on the other side. 

Shu Nian was stunned and she suddenly lost all her sleepiness: “Why are you here?”

Xie Ruhe slowly put down the little cake he was carrying on the window ledge and said in a low voice: “Happy birthday.” 

Shu Nian stared at his face and there was this feeling that she was asleep and in a dream. She licked her lips and whispered: “How long have you been here?” 

Xie Ruhe seemed to be extremely cold. His lips were purple and he didn’t answer her. 

Shu Nian pulled on his wrist and said. “Come in.” 

Deng Qingyu’s voice sounded from the other side of her bedroom door: “Shu Nian, are you asleep?”

" "

Shu Nian didn’t respond and Xie Ruhe immediately broke away from her hold to hide behind the wall. After a while, Shu Nian whispered. “My mum has left, come in quickly.” 

Xie Ruhe shook his head: “I’ll just stand outside.” 

“It’s too cold outside.” Shu Nian disagreed with him. “You will catch a cold like this.” 

But Xie Ruhe didn’t listen to Shu Nian. After a long time, he said. “If your mum finds out, you’ll be in trouble.” 

Shu Nian still tried to persuade him: “My mum won’t come in. She thinks that I’m asleep. If you’re worried, I’ll lock the door.” 

Xie Ruhe still didn’t listen to her. 

Shu Nian didn’t get angry with him. She thought about it for a moment and then went to her wardrobe. She put on two sweaters and wrapped herself in a big coat. Then, she took out an even bigger coat. 
 
She walked back to the window and handed the coat to Xie Ruhe. 

Xie Ruhe took it and wondered. “What are you going to do?” 

Shu Nian climbed up the window on her own. The first time she was doing this kind of thing she was dressed heavily and moving awkwardly. She was like a ball rolling on the window sill and would eventually roll onto the ground. 

Xie Ruhe was afraid that she would fall so he stood beside her to let her hold on him. 

“If you won’t come in then I’ll just come out.” After landing, Shu Nian naturally said. “I can’t let you be cold alone. We’re friends.” 

“…” 

“How are we like friends?” Shu Nian sighed and instantly spoke like an old man. “We’re obviously carrying very pure intentions, but it feels like——” 

Shu Nian paused because she couldn’t remember the word: “I forgot how to say that word.” 

Xie Ruhe didn’t understand and asked. “What word?” 

“Oh, right.” Shu Nian remembered. “It’s like we’re cheating.” 

“…” Xie Ruhe nearly choked because of her and his expression was indescribable. “What did you say?” 

“We’re sneaking around.” Shu Nian became very gloomy and unhappy. “My mother doesn’t want me hanging out with you. How old am I? But she treats me like a kid, even worrying about what friends I make.” 

Xie Ruhe didn’t know what to say. He just handed her the coat in his hands.

Shu Nian blinked and said: “It’s for you.” 

“…” Xie Ruhe put the coat over her shoulders. “I can’t wear it.”

Shu Nian pushed the coat back into his hands: “If you can’t wear it then you can just put it over yourself like a blanket.”

Xie Ruhe frowned and put the coat on her again.

Shu Nian face was stern and she didn’t back down.

" "

In the end, Xie Ruhe admitted defeat and covered his back with the coat which looked a little funny. 

Shu Nian squatted down and put the cake box on the ground. She pulled out the small cake inside and then put the cake on top of the cake box. She curled up into a ball and because of the giant jacket, she looked like a small fluffy ball. 

Xie Ruhe also squatted down beside her. 

Shu Nian sniffed and carefully inserted the candles in it. She asked. “Do you have a lighter?”

“Yes.” Xie Ruhe subconsciously touched his pocket and took out a lighter. “I’ll light it.” 

Hearing those words, Shu Nian’s movements stopped and she looked up at him: “Why do you have a lighter?” 

“…” 

Shu Nian was suspicious. “Do you smoke?” 

Xie Ruhe was trying to deny the accusation but Shu Nian began to give him a serious lecture: “Don’t smoke, it’s not right to smoke at such a young age. Don’t listen to what others say and think that smoking is cool because it’s not cool at all.” 

“I don’t smoke.” Xie Ruhe’s voice was calm and he lowered his head to light the candle. “I brought it to light the candles.” 

Shu Nian paused and guilty made a sound, vaguely saying. “I’m too sleepy.” 

“Huh?”

Shu Nian added in a whisper: “My head isn’t taking things in; I’m not thinking things clearly.” 

Xie Ruhe lowered his eyes and spoke in a tone like he was smiling: “I see.” 

Outside, the wind was strong. Xie Ruhe lit a candle but it was immediately extinguished by the cold wind. After lighting it more than a dozen times, Shu Nian pulled out all of the other 15 candles, leaving only one. 

She protected it with her hands as Xie Ruhe relit the single candle. 

Shu Nian was afraid that the candle would go out again so without singing the birthday song, she quickly said. “I want to be a very good voice actor,” and quickly blew out the candle. 

It was an extremely simple wish. 

Xie Ruhe was not satisfied with it and was thinking about how to make it up to her with the missed birthday song. 

The next moment, Shu Nian suddenly remembered something and felt a little guilty about it: “I didn’t buy you a cake on your birthday… Did you manage to eat cake that day?” 

Xie Ruhe didn’t know how to answer her and he didn’t want to lie either. 

Shu Nian immediately understood what he was thinking and said in a low voice: “I’ll buy it for you this year.” 

Afterwards, Shu Nian changed the topic and said. “By the way, my father came back today but he isn’t home. He’s with my grandparents.”

Seeing her be so happy, Xie Ruhe’s eyebrows also loosened and he hummed. 

“He gave me an instrument.” Shu Nian poked the dimples on her face. “But I don’t know how to use it.” 

“What instrument is it?” 

“It looks like a guitar…” Shu Nian couldn’t remember. “I’ll show you.” 

Shu Nian had squatted for so long that her legs became numb. She stood up and stomped her feet a bit, looking at the window but didn’t immediately move after. A little while later, she hesitated and glanced at Xie Ruhe: “It’s better if you go in. I’m too short and it’s a struggle to crawl.” 

Xie Ruhe responded with a sound and reached out to take off his shoes. 

“You don’t need to take off your shoes.” Shu Nian said. “It’s just on the cupboard next to the bed.” 

But Xie Ruhe still took off his shoes and easily entered the room through the window. He put the coat on his back on the chair beside him and took the ukulele on the nightstand. Then, he jumped out of the window again. 

If there are any errors in the text then please kindly ping me on discord in the ‘report typos’ channel or leave a comment down below!

Thanks for reading!