Dandelion Lover

With all my worrying about this and that, the hours passed by quickly and it was already Sunday evening. The daylight had dimmed already and dark-grey clouds hovered heavily above us. Such a weather would normally make people just wanna lay in bed and sleep all the way through the storm, but my grandmother had a bit of an unusual character. Maybe due to the fact that she had been through so many things like wars, revolutions, and deaths of most of her loved ones, but she refused to be influenced by such an ephemeral weather condition. She was merrily preparing her ingredients in order to bake some cupcakes when she told me, for obvious reasons, that she did not have enough sugar for the recipe.

Maybe because I was a good granddaughter, or maybe because I wanted some time away from being haunted by my thoughts, I accepted the mission and was soon leaving the house. One of the supermarkets around was just in front of our apartment building, but I choose one further away to have as an excuse for being outside for a longer time.

The streets were empty, only cars zoomed through them from time to time, with their owners hurrying to get home before the storm would start. It only took me 10 minutes to reach the supermarket and find a bag of sugar from all the shelves. My grandma's sweets would definitely be a caloric bomb I would not want to mess with, but the temptation to overindulge when I was stressed out was really high.

Reaching the checkout counter I waited patiently for my turn. While doing that, my eyes darted over a metallic blue pack of cigarettes that invoked in me a sweet memory that became slightly bitter now that the decision regarding my future was taken. Without realizing what I was doing, I was asking for the cigarettes pack and placed them in my purse.

"Would you also like a lighter for them? We have this promotion for the brand you just purchased."

"Sure…." I mumbled absentmindedly still shocked at my own request.

And soon enough I was back up with the groceries, leaving my grandma to her own occupation, I went back to browsing through the jobs offers on the market.

I don't smoke, not anymore, not since I was diagnosed with asthma but the knowledge of the cigarette pack being within my reach had a calming effect. The memory of the relaxing feeling I had back when I used to smoke was becoming more and more tempting. I knew I was not allowed to, I knew I should resist because this will not solve anything, nor will it make it better, but for some reason, I felt that it will somehow dull the sadness I would feel once I would resign from my job. But for now it would not be necessary, I'll just leave them at the office tomorrow, it would be a waste throwing the whole pack out.

Or so I planned to do, that is until I received a message that left me gasping for air and with my feelings in disarray.

"Guess who's the main star in this great composition? " And attached to the message was a picture of me and Gray kissing in his office. There was no need to even look at the sender, I already knew who sent it.

At the moment I saw the picture, I could not contain my emotions and my eyes reddened without asking for permission. Before my grandma would see, I got my purse and I was out the door with a simple explanation.

"I'm going to my friend's house, I'll be back later," I shouted to my grandma before my voice started to get raspy.

"Where are you going in this weather? A thunderstorm is going to start anytime now!" I could hear my grandmother shout but I could not remain in the house. It will only lead to more questions from her and I was not willing to tell her about my problems this time. I already knew her point of view and that it will not change no matter how unfair it felt sometimes.

Just as I exited the apartment building, it started pouring. I was drenched before I could even realize how cold the rain was. I quickly dodged in the darkened tunnel that was near the stairway, in between buildings.

I could not hold it in anymore, tears ran down my face and mingled with the raindrops already there. The rain intensified and flashes of lightning illuminated the sky followed by the rumblings of the thunder. I walked a bit further into the tunnel and crouched down near a wall, letting my purse fall on the ground near me. The fresh smell of rain and settling dust helped me control my crying but I was still feeling nervous. Without hesitating, I grabbed the pack of cigarettes and took one out. I looked at it, admired the slick feel of it in between my finger, and without further ado, I proceeded to light it.

Smoking is like riding a bike, you never forget how to do it. A flick of the lighter and the crimson sparkles settled at the end of the cigarette. As the cold, deafening rain entrapped me in my own cocoon, shielding me from prying eyes, I could feel the particularly familiar scent coming from the cigarette in my hand. I had missed this, the feeling it gave me, of power, of control over my own decisions, unhindered by responsibility, just following my d.e.s.i.r.es.

My lips gently wrapped around the b.u.t.t of the cigarette, and I slowly inhaled my first puff. It was weird and at the same time, it felt familiar. The scent it gave relaxed me for more reasons than the fact that it was something I was craving. The aroma smelled roughly like him, like Gray, and just this thought made me feel safer and pulled me out of my frantic behaviour.

I was almost done with the cigarette when my little bubble of privacy got intruded in by a tall figure. At first I did not think much of it, after all, outside was a full blown storm so it was natural for people to find shelter, but the figure did not stop, instead, it moved toward me at full speed. I almost jumped out of my skin when a dripping wet hand reached for the cigar in my hand and threw it outside the tunnel.

"Are you suicidal?" A gruff voice shouted. I was not sure whether he was mad or sad, but I was sure I recognized the voice.

"Gray? What are you doing here?" I stared at him in amazement. Was I hallucinating? But I knew I was not.

In front of me stood Gray, his wet hair sticking to the contour of his face, while water was still dripping from it. His clothes were soaked through even worse than mine and he was slightly trembling. I was just not sure if it was because he was mad or because he was cold.

I reached out a hand over his bandaged first and it all became real.

He was here, once again when I felt I needed him most. However, with this realization, it also dawned on me. It was too late to pretend nothing was going on between us, and that we never talked about it face to face about what "this" was. Maybe the message Ann sent and this meeting is a sign that we should discuss this.

I tried to steady my nerves and before he could continue with his admonishment, I started the conversation that would decide the future of our relationship if there will be any.

"We need to talk!"