Crocodile Tears

"By this time next year, we'll have a plump son and maybe a cow too!" My soon-to-be husband looked at me expectedly, flashing two rows of yellow teeth. Just as a few droplets of spit flew from his mouth, I couldn't help but notice a tiny piece of green clinging between his top incisors— a visible remnant from lunch.

I did my best to conceal my disp.l.e.a.s.u.r.e, instead acknowledging his coarse words with a slow nod before returning to the unfinished pile of herbal powder before me. The apothecary was my only sanctuary, but I somehow always forgot that he was the son of the owner.

Without warning, he reached for the cup on the other side of the table, brushing too uncomfortably close to me for my liking. I inched away in time, but the herbs I had been preparing were not that fortunate.

His wide sleeves swept up a gust of wind, ruining my hard work as thousands of brown specks floated away. Though they too couldn't control their courses of action, at least they were now free to wander as they pleased.

"Men and women should maintain a healthy distance," I said, trying to keep my voice flat so that it revealed none of my inner frustration.

"But husband and wife should not be so," he protested, motioning to touch my cheeks.

"Brother Liu, we are not yet engaged. Until the three days pass without fault, not even the Heavens have approved of this marriage," I reasoned, grimacing internally as I said the words. Though I was never one to believe entirely in superstition, it made for a convenient excuse, especially for a man from a traditional family. And it was true. If anything went wrong in the three days that we exchanged tokens, this union would be said to be frowned upon by the Heavens.

I've heard of some instances where girls purposefully pricked themselves or shattered a plate, but if fate could be so easily altered, then why believe in it in the first place?

"Youshi, our families are of equal social status. Plus, I've known you since you were just this tall," he bent down and motioned by the side of his knee. "It's already been one day since we tucked your token under our altar, and just yesterday, my dormant crops sprouted!"

Somehow, I had known him my entire life, but we were still no more than strangers. Still, if I was going to marry, it was better him than anyone else. He was the son of the apothecarist but instead preferred the idle life of a farmer, claiming that he didn't want the responsibility of human lives on his hands. Quite a gentleman, he would run across town to pick up Sister Wang's newest dress. And if Sister Qian ever needed a hand, he would be the first to be at her door. In the same fashion, seeing me take an interest in medicine, he pleaded with his father for me to become their family apprentice.

But even if he wanted to, he could never wed Sister Wang or Qian. Maybe he could take them for mistresses, but the title of wife wasn't within their reach. Sister Wang was the daughter of a silk merchant, wealthy but of low class, and Sister Qian was the third daughter born of a mistress, not a true bearer of the family name.

So of the girls of unwedded age, only I was left. My uncle, though poor, was unchangeably the brother of the empress. And me, an adopted child, was still the daughter of a deceased lord. A noble birth spoke more than countless riches, so as soon as my rite of passage occurred, I became a valuable asset to be considered.

To hope for true love was impractical. With Brother Liu, I could at least remain at the apothecary and nurture it into the best clinic in the entire kingdom while still bringing honor to my uncle. Next month, I would wed for my dream and family pride, not love.

Sure, I once dreamt too of marrying a hero that dazzled like the evening stars. But as tempting as it appeared, love did not exist outside of stories.

"But if to win a single heart, till white hair shall not part," I accidentally said aloud, momentarily caught up in my thoughts. Quickly averting eye contact in case he thought the poem was for him, I looked out the window. A middle-aged foreign man was standing under the blooming peach blossom tree, casually fanning himself with a paper fan, as if he was waiting for someone. With a beard and slightly curled hair, he bore the distinct qualities of a Northerner.

Luckily or, perhaps unluckily, Brother Liu had no understanding of my words. "Then you would be old and lose your beauty! You're always bubbling with fancy prose. Youshi, you are surely the most beautiful girl I have ever set my eyes upon, but it is the most natural for a man to have multiple women." A mixture of relief and regret bubbled from within: relief because I had not embarrassed myself, regret since I would spend many future wordless nights gazing at the stars.

"Don't worry. I wouldn't mind," I replied genuinely, and in turn, he beamed at the idea of having such a virtuous wife. Outside, the strange man hadn't moved since I last saw him.

Brother Liu opened his mouth to talk some more. Luckily, my aunt arrived and saved me from further awkward small talk by calling me home to help prepare supper. He wanted to accompany us, claiming it would be only a few extra steps. It is hard to guess that I denied his kind gesture?

As soon as we were out of earshot, my aunt turned to me and asked, "Youshi, we ask you only to be free and happy. I see how you act around him. If you don't wish to wed, we will care for you the same until we pass."

The more she said, the more determined I was not to bring them any more misfortune. Because of my existence, they chose never to have a child of their own. And when I first learned medicine, the neighbors thought them mad for agreeing.

"Miss, you don't happen to be able to spare a moment now?" the man I saw from the windows called to me. The ruggedness of his voice was eroded, but the Northern accent was there all the same. Up close, I could see that he was a fortune teller, bearing a small Taiji symbol on the sleeve of his robe.

Unlike the local ones, he had no obnoxious signs saying he was the reincarnation of a spirit nor a telltale feather fan. But somehow, even with his simple attire and lack of a distinct mustache, it was apparent that he was indeed a diviner, maybe even more real than the rest. Nevertheless, we wouldn't spend a coin on him anyways. My aunt must have shared the same thought because she tugged on my sleeve discreetly in the opposite direction and resumed walking.

"Miss," he called again, walking towards us. Why was this man so persistent? If he truly were able to predict the future, he would know very well that he would earn not as much as a speck of dust from us.

My aunt began speaking louder than usual, making sure the fortuneteller could hear her, "Oh Madame, we must pick a gorgeous dress for you to wear to your sister's wedding. We can't keep her waiting much longer." We picked up our pace.

"Miss!" His voice grew fainter as we hurried away.

Before turning a corner, I cast another glance behind me and breathed out a sigh of relief. He was gone.

Our house was but two streets over, but we made sure to take an alternate route that looped around the marketplace to make sure he wouldn't follow us home. Supper could wait, we decided.

By the time we reached our neighborhood, the sun was already halfway to the horizon. But there he was, standing by the stone wall in a purposefully careless manner, making it apparent that he had been expecting us.

"Miss, I mean no harm," he nodded his head at my aunt, acknowledging her, before bowing to me. I was startled. I mean, who wouldn't be? Never in my life had anyone ever bowed to me. "I know you do not have a sister, much less one that is to be married. If anything, you are the one currently seeking a suiter. I'm here merely to inform you that you should break off your wedding arrangements."

Considering how long he stood outside the window, he probably heard us speaking. I guessed that he would soon offer a solution to appease the marriage arrangement, for a small price, of course.

"This would cost you nothing, and I will not help force this engagement even if you had offered me all the riches in the world." I was slightly shook that he spoke my thoughts. "I advise you to call it off before the tide turns against you. If what I'm saying proves to be at all untrue, then you can report me to the officials," he insisted, his voice soothing and calm.

"This maiden is a jewel hidden among coarse sand, and you know it. She is of royal descent, destined not to be a commoner." He turned to my aunt before looking pointedly at me, a gaze that seemed to read into my soul.

My aunt was momentarily stunned, but she quickly regained her wits. "Any bit of research could reveal that. The entire countryside knows who she is."

"But do they? Does she even know who she is?" He paused, as if for exaggerated dramatic effect. "She is a phoenix hidden in a nest of pheasants. But of course, within three days, she will return to her rightful golden cage." I cringed at the overused scamming tactic, but my aunt clearly read a different message from his words.

"Stop speaking at... At once!" My aunt stammered, taking my hand and dragging me away, her hands wet from sweat. She was visibly mad for the first time in an eternity, shaking as she shrieked with fury, "Cover your ears, Youshi. Don't listen to this nonsense!" She slammed the door behind us. It was too late. I heard it all.

"Whoever is wedded to the princess is destined to become emperor."