Crocodile Tears

"Enough with the talk of the useless past," she sat up straighter, recomposing her slumped shoulders. "Tomorrow, do not be alarmed by the rest of my siblings. Knowing them, they will be sure to make friendly trouble. When you hear them outside of the tent at night, remember it's just a part of the custom. They'll leave when they know it's too much. So don't worry; you and A'Mo can continue with…"

A suggestive blush crept up her cheeks, and my face was in turn set ablaze.

The streets will be crowded with people. Red lanterns will dot the buildings, and he'll be waiting for you, beckoning your name with a gold carriage at his side. But you won't see any of it; for, the fan you will hold shall be perfectly shielding your face and eyes. If you dare to sneak a peak, all you will see from the peripherals are his golden-embroidered red robes.

A droplet of water fell on the back of my hand, sliding down the side and disappearing into my sleeve as if it was never there. Looking upwards, I found Princess LePing tearing up.

She was looking straight at me, but her pupils were not following my motions, instead trapped in another time.

"Then you would bow three times and be escorted to a tent. He might whisper about how the tent was a remnant from the nomadic times and joke that we were nearly being wedded under the stars…"

By now, my sleeve was visibly wet.

"Princess Le..." I stopped myself from saying her title, remembering how she and A'Huan had previously reacted to it. Luckily, she made no response to that name. "LiHua," I tried again, daring myself to use her personal name when we were not that familiar.

Her trance broke, shattering into a million pieces. "Sorry, an eyelash must have accidentally fallen into my eye," she explained hurriedly, plastering on a fake smile.

We sat there in silence. If my aunt was here, she would surely have something to say every moment. But this was Sui, I reminded myself. I shifted uncomfortably in my position, not daring to make any sounds. All of my questions rotted away in my stomach, never seeing the light of day. Finally, it was midnight, and per tradition, it was time for her to leave.

That night, I tossed and turned in my sleep, never being fully able to rest my mind. Was I excited? I've heard so much about my soon-to-be husband. His poem was eye-opening, lending me hope of future discussions about past prose and works of literature. Yet he seemed bland, just another willing follower of the accepted rules of society. But then again, so was I.

As I shuffled on my bed, the night seemed to span for an eternity. Yet when I finally drifted off to my dreams, I was already being told to wake up by A'Huan. It was so early, I thought, knowing very well that the marriage ceremony would only officially start before sunset.

After rubbing my eyes, a fresh green gown with red undertones was the first thing I saw. With a golden phoenix embroidered into the sides of the fabric, it was quite stunning, a feast for the eyes. Only when it was time for me to be dressed in it, I realized that the countless intricately-designed folds were just a cause for hassle. Countless maids worked away, some tying knots while others smoothed out the borders of the robe.

How would the Prince of Jin ever take this off at night? It was a part of the ceremony after all.

Following the makeup session, a golden phoenix crown was set upon the top of my head, topping off the hairdo that had taken more than two hours to finish and marking me for a bride.

The crown's weight was uncomfortable, and I squirmed a bit under the unfamiliar burden. If would be a miracle if I could last until midnight in this. I mentally noted to give myself a neck massage the following day.

By now, the sun was already on its downward trajectory, and a faint orange glow lit up the room. Trying to tilt my head to see outside, I found that it was virtually impossible for me to do so without the threat of breaking my neck.

If I was to be wed to a loved one, only then would this unnecessary torture be possibly worth it. However, that description had nothing to do with me.

"Bride, come out!" A childish voice broke the still air, startling me, but my heart had not tremored in even the slightest bit.

"A'Xiao, I wish you the best of luck." Princess LePing was beaming, whatever shadows that usually plagued her eyes momentarily gone. I nodded at her, thankful for her past hospitality, before grabbing the fan with the poem inscribed onto it.

Positioning it directly in front of my face as previously instructed, I stepped out of the room.

"Bride, bride, come out!" Another voice joined the chants, and with each subsequent call, I took another step towards my supposed happiness.

The sounds of trumpets and gongs accompanied the shrieks of rapture, playing a lively tune that spoke only of revelry. This was surely the most lively I had ever seen the Sui people, and for a moment, the commoners and the nobles celebrated as one.

"Bride, bride, come out!" I was near sure that I heard A'Wu's voice in that increasingly-loud shouting.

I stepped out the door, and the full effects of the sound blasted into me. All of the festivities were for me, but I could barely see anything from the peripheral sections of my vision. "Wooo!!! The bride has arrived!"

From the bottom of the fan, I could see that a slender hand was extended out to me. It was so clean and long, reminding me of the fingers of a woman, if not at least a talented artist. But once I took it, the coarse calluses of his hand rubbed against my own not-so-fine hands.

He was careful, guiding me step by step as we neared the carriage. If I made even a small pause, he would wait for me before taking another step. Stepping onto the carriage, I accidentally stepped on the tail of my gown, and he swooped down to fix it for me. I tried to catch a glimpse of him, but it was to no avail. He was too far back for me to see from the crevice under the fan.

Just as A'Wu and LiHua had promised, he was a gentleman of character and extreme consideration. Maybe his beauty was not all bluffing either.

The sun must have cast glistening shadows across all of the bright reds and golds, but I couldn't see much of it other than the warmness of the light that cast faint shadows through my fan. As the carriage sped on to the palace, the ride was uneventful.

He was breathing next to me, keeping properly to himself and not trying to engage in potential conversation. It was a relief, I suppose.

By now, my wrist and arms were slowly becoming sore from maintaining the position of holding the fan. Luckily, the manor truly was close to the palace.

He lifted me out of the carriage, paying special attention as to make his hands set only over my back and legs instead of elsewhere. The short embrace was warm but not fiery. Formality seemed to be his alternate name, I thought as he carried me over the fire pit.

His red sleeves blended in with the dancing flames. I tried glancing up once, but all I saw were the c.h.e.s.t part of his robes. If only I was taller.

After a series of more formalities, there was barely any light out in the day. It was time that we become wed and make it official.

I walked in, unknowing of where to walk to even though I had practiced before with the etiquette teacher. After all, the path at LiHua's part was easily memorized in comparison to this hallway. He gently grabbed my wrist and led me along with him. His grasp was light, almost nonexistent as he guided me along.

Was he truly as kindhearted and the epitome of all pure goodness?

"First bow to the Heavens and Earth!" Together, we honored the spirits.

"Second bow to the elders." Guiding me in the opposite direction, he tugged on my sleeve when he went down.

"Third bow between the groom and bride." We faced each other. As he too bowed down, from behind the fan, I snuck a glance.