Chapter 61: Zhu. Don’t go.

What? New family member? What does this have to do with my sickness? Xia Yi could not respond immediately. He looked a little stupefied. Then, he quickly realized what that meant. He widened his eyes, with disbelief and shock. He felt like he had been struck by the lightning and he just froze there.

He could not mean that. Right? Are we only expecting some relatives of Zhu’s coming over?

Xia Yi’s expression was stiff, but he still had hopes, “Zhu. Please be more specific. What do you mean by us having new family members?”

Gu Wen Zhu looked at him in silence at first, then, looking focused, as if he was observing his expression. Following that, he carefully said, “Yi. You are carrying a child.”

Yi. You are carrying a child.

A child.

Xia Yi stood where he was, stunned. His ears were hearing those buzzing sounds after a thunderstruck.

“You, you are joking. I think you must have made a mistake.” Xia Yi tried hard to suppress his emotions and stayed calm. However, his voice was trembling, with a hint of fear which he could not hide.

Gu Wen Zhu looked at him silently with his dark black eyes. Then, he touched the back of his head and brought him into his arms. Xia Yi let his head be buried against that strong chest. He felt as if his heart was sinking down.

Right from the start when 179 mentioned the third gender to him, he was frightened. But after so much time, he had already forgotten that this was a pregnancy novel world. When he had already thrown all these behind him, someone barged in and told him this.

You are pregnant.

He repeated and thought about these words, still having difficulties to realize that he was the person being referred to in the sentence. He just felt that the whole thing was quirky. But he was really pregnant.

There was one more living entity inside of him now.

This living entity was still growing inside him. One day, would be given birth to by him, a man. Xia Yi finally had a sense of reality hitting him. He only felt that blood was flooding up his head. For one second, he felt hot all over his body, then the next, he felt so cold as if he was in an ice cave.

There were so many emotions inside him. He felt hurted, nervous, confused, scared. Suddenly, he felt a feeling of being wronged rushing up to his heart. Tears began to well up in his eyes. 

Feeling an area of clothes on his chest beginning to be wet, Gu Wen Zhu swallowed. He lowered his head, held Xia Yi’s back of the head and moved Xia Yi’s head away from his hug a little bit. He touched his forehead with his, and used the tip of his nose to slightly lean onto the tip of his nose.

Xia Yi tilted his head, his eyes red, his small chin round and his thin neck as fair and fragile as porcelain. He looked at his side for a while, then he suddenly turned to look at Gu Wen Zhu with anger in his eyes. His eyes were fierce but his voice was hoarse, shivering with suppressing his sobs, “Why am I the one who is giving birth but not you? Huh? What makes me the one?”

Gu Wen Zhu could not come up with an answer. He saw Xia Yi’s chest moving up and down rapidly and Xia Yi breathing roughly, so he apologized hurriedly in a gentle voice, “Sorry. That’s my bad. I am not able to get pregnant. Sorry.”

“It is your fault anyway.” Xia Yi’s face turned purple. He shook that hand which was rubbing his back away forcefully and yelled, “This is all your fault.”

“Yes. Yes. Yes. It’s all on me. It’s all my fault.” Gu Wen Zhu was afraid that Xia Yi might hurt himself and so he hurried and apologized.

Xia Yi was furious. He wanted to punch someone. He wanted to destroy everything in sight, to clean everything up with violence. He angrily pushed Gu Wen Zhu aside and started to search the room with his eyes. He grabbed the teapot on the table and threw it onto the ground. The teapot crashed loudly and became a thousand pieces.

That little vase with a flower in it, smashed.

That red cut paper that had been sticking onto the window was a fat baby hugging a fish. It looked so disturbing, so too red, that smile on that baby looking so not pleasant.

Rip it off. All of it.

Xia Yi breathed heavily. He ran around in the room with reddened eyes as if he was a firing cracker.

Gu Wen Zhu followed behind him in silence, letting him destroy everything in the room. And he was quickly kicking away anything sharp out of Xia Yi’s way. When Xia Yi could no longer find something to throw, he stopped. He stood in the middle of the mess resignedly, looking sad.

Gu Wen Zhu walked forward, carefully carrying him, reaching him from the back, “Are you tired? You can hit me if you are not.”

Xia Yi tiredly closed his eyes and buried his head against those warm arms. Then, he did not mention any of this anymore. It was like nothing of this never happened and he was not pregnant. He just went to the farmland to farm everyday.

Gu Wen Zhu was nervous and worried but could not stop him. He could only follow him everyday. Whenever he saw him swinging a hoe, he would swiftly catch the hoe to loosen the soil for him.

The days of pregnancy were not easy at all. Every morning once he was awake, the first thing he would do was to go to the lavatory to throw everything up, but with nothing coming out from his throat.

At times like these, Gu Wen Zhu could only hug him from behind, caress him on his back, and fed him a bowl of sour plum juice. Once he found that plum was effectively helping Xia Yi not to vomit, there was always a bowl of plum juice on the table. And he would replace the cooled ones with new boiled ones.

Xia Yi began to get picky about food. He did not eat meat, he did not eat vegetables, he did not eat fish. Gu Wen Zhu could only mince the meat and vegetables and made those into a bowl of porridge with seasoning to let him eat.

During the night, when he was bathing, Xia Yi stood naked in front of the copper mirror, staring coldly at the reflection of himself with his belly growing slightly each day. It was like he was looking at a stranger. His eyes were without any warmth.

Until Gu Wen Zhu knocked onto the door anxiously to ask him when he would come out, then he wore clothes and walked outside. With time moving forward, Xia Yi finally accepted the truth of himself being pregnant. He calmed down.

It was the first time that 179 was acting smart. He found that although Xia Yi was looking calm, there were swirls underneath and he could explode at any moment. Therefore, he did not nag during these times. He acted like he was dead in his mind.

At night, on this day, Xia Yi was rolling around. He could not sleep. Because of this, he directly stared at the head board of the bed, staring at the light blue colored drapes and dozed off. Beside him, Gu Wen Zhu was fast asleep. He was slightly snoring with long breaths.

Xia Yi felt a sudden anger rising in him. He pushed him and said in an intentionally calm voice, “Zhu. I want to eat dates.”

Gu Wen Zhu’s snoring halted. He rolled over and continued sleeping.

Xia Yi used his leg to kick his calf. He raised his voice, “Zhu. I want to eat dates.”

Gu Wen Zhu heard Xia Yi this time. He opened his eyes semi consciously, and turned to ask in a hoarse voice, “Yi. Are you not asleep yet?”

After saying so, he stretched out his arm to hug him.

Xia Yi pushed Gu Wen Zhu away, staring at him seriously, said, word by word, “I said, I, want, to, eat, dates.”

His eyes were showing stubbornness.

Gu Wen Zhu looked outside with his sleepy eyes, “Look at the time. And that we don’t have dates during winter. Let me ask if there are any dates in the stores next morning. Alright?” Then, he brought Xia Yi into his arms. He patted his back, “Sleep. It’s late.”

Gu Wen Zhu carrassed Xia Yi’s back and closed his eyes. In a blur, he could feel something slightly shaking beside him and could hear some sobbing sounds.

Now he was no longer sleepy. He quickly sat up, stretched out to light the light, “Yi. Are you alright?”

The oil lamp had been lightened up. He saw Xia Yi lying in bed, his chest going up and down, the ends of his eye had tears leaking out and passing his hair on the temples to reach the pillow. Gu Wen Zhu panicked. He patted Xia Yi’s face gently, “Yi. Yi. Have you been having a bad dream?”

“Bad dream. Bad dream. You only know to ask me if I was having a bad dream.” Xia Yi suddenly opened his eyes. He angrily sat up and screamed hysterically, “I have been telling you. I want to eat dates! I want to eat dates! I am going to find the doctor tomorrow to have an abortion! Abortion! I never wanted a baby. I hate him, I hate him!”

After all the yelling, he buried his face into the blanket. Then he cried and cried. His shoulders were shaking.

Gu Wen Zhu’s hand landed on his shoulder gently, but Xia Yi shook it off, “Go away! Don’t touch me! Leave me alone!”

He felt that Gu Wen Zhu had been standing beside him all along, staring at him. So he kept burying his face in the blanket, letting himself drowning in anxiety and anger, crying. He had been tense for these few days, and all the fear deep inside him, all the anxiety and anger, had finally turned into tears and rained down his face.

After a while, out of the blue, he heard the door being opened.

Next, a cold howling wind swiped in, hitting onto the paper of the window.

With the sound of the door closing, that wind stopped as well.

Xia Yi looked up in confusion, seeing no one in the room, hearing nothing. Gu Wen Zhu was already out. He just went out like that.

Xia Yi could not help but feel confused. He stopped crying. With swollen eyes, he stared at that closed door. Gu Wen Zhu might take a hot bowl of sour juice in the next second, and he would smile and let him drink it.

But after a long while, that door did not open.

As time passed by, Xia Yi just sat in bed with a blank face, listening to the cold wind making a fuss outside.

The wind swiped passed the leaves. He could hear the branches falling off a tree.

Zhu was gone just like that? He was having too much of me. Would he be back once he was feeling better? He would not just leave me like this. Right?

Xia Yi began to panic with regrets. He sobbed. Looking around, there was one outer of Gu Wen Zhu’s less on the chair, but the cotton coat was still there. The wind was so wild. The temperature was so low at night. Would he not get sick getting out?

“179. Is Zhu okay? He has been out for a long time now.” Xia Yi was trying to calm down, but his voice still sounded anxious.

System did not make a sound. He knew that Xia Yi was in a bad mood lately. In order not to touch his nerves, System pretended to be dead.

Outside, the branches of the old tree created cracking sounds, making Xia Yi shiver.

No, I have to go and find him.

He suddenly pulled the blanket off him, stood up, and bent to wear his shoes. Then, footfalls came from the yard. The door was pushed open and closed when the wind could just begin to howl, blocking that coldness out from the room.

Under the candlelight, a tall figure, Gu Wen Zhu, walked this way, with light behind him.

Seeing Xia Yi staring at him, he said excitedly, “I found it. I found some dates for you. It’s lucky that Mrs.Wang–”

Not waiting for him to finish, he saw Xia Yi rushing towards him. Xia Yi bumped into him and tightly grabbed his waist. He quickly said, “Zhu. Don’t go. Don’t go.”

“What’s wrong?” In view of him like this, Gu Wen Zhu began to feel anxious, “What happened?”

Xia Yi shook his head frantically, “I was too willful. Don’t go.” After this, as if it was not close enough, he extended his arms to hold Gu Wen Zhu’s neck.

“When did I say that I am going away?” Gu Wen Zhu was flabbergasted, then he smiled, “You and the child are here. Where could I possibly go?” Then he kissed Xia Yi’s head, “What were you thinking? Something stupid? Hmm?”

Some place of his had been touched and he made a painful inhaled sound between his teeth.

Xia Yi quickly looked up at him, asking nervously in confusion, ‘What? Where?“ He took two steps back and observed all over Gu Wen Zhu.

“Nothing. It’s just that it was dark and I fell. It’s nothing.” Gu Wen Zhu saw Xia Yi panicking and hurried to ease his nerves.

Xia Yi insisted on checking it out. He extended his arms to unbuckle his buttons.

Gu Wen Zhu resignedly stretched out his right arm, “I am really okay. I only scratched the skin.”

Lifting up his sleeves, Xia Yi held his breath. A few bloody scratches carved up his elbow from the wrist. There were two which were hurting the deepest still bleeding.

“Does it hurt?” Xia Yi felt so painful for him that his voice was shaking. He wanted to touch those scratches with his fingers, but he was afraid that he might hurt him by doing so, so he stopped. Those fingers of his just froze in the air like that.

“I am okay. It’s nothing. Don’t be sad.” Gu Wen Zhu stared at him gently.

Xia Yi touched his face and felt coldness. He quickly grabbed the cotton coat on the chair back to put it on him. Something came to his mind, Gu Wen Zhu pulled out a little package wrapped by cloth and placed it on the table. He opened the cloth, showing about a dozen big red shiny dates inside.

“I asked everywhere, knocking on every door. At last, I found these at Mr. Wang’s. Mrs. Wang gave birth to a baby. These were left after the recovery period after she had given birth to the child.” Gu Wen Zhu happily looked at the dates, his black eyes sparkling. Then he carefully picked one up and put it near Xia Yi’s mouth, “Have one. See if it’s sweet.” He was so looking forward to this.

Xia Yi had a small bit, his eyes reddened, feeling a sweetness of the date between his teeth and his lips.

“It’s sweet.” He laughed with eyes smiling.