C304: Kakipi War

It’s me again.
I think we’ve been doing a lot of activities outside the farm lately, so let’s do something within the farm for a change.

New friends have appeared in the dungeon orchard in Veil’s mountain dungeon.
The tree spirits possess the fruit trees we grow and obtain consciousness of their own.
They also look after the trees’ growth and inform us of any abnormalities, so I let them stay.

The currently known tree spirits are King Kaka, the cacao spirit, and Takenokkon, the bamboo shoot spirit.
However, their number is gradually increasing. Today, I met a new one.

“I’m Perciemon, a persimmon tree spirit!”

A persimmon, huh?
They taste pretty sweet when eaten as is, but they can also be dried or made into jam.
Telling the difference between sweet and astringent persimmons is tough, so having a tree spirit take care of them is a great help.

“Here, please take this as a sign of our friendship!” it says, giving me a handful of something.

“…What are these?”
“Kaki-no-tane!”
“Why?”
“Why? I’m a persimmon tree spirit, so I thought it’d be natural to give kaki-no-tane…”
“Well, I guess…”
I would’ve been satisfied if these were actual persimmon seeds.

Sure, they may look like seeds, but there’s something different about them.
These are the other kaki-no-tane.

And this other variety is actually rice crisps that go perfectly with beer.
It’s made of kneaded glutinous rice, cut into small pieces, coated with soy sauce, and baked. They look just like persimmon seeds, hence their name.
They’re often produced with peanuts mixed in them.

H-Huh?!

The persimmon tree is shooting kaki-no-tane!!!
Why?!

“Isn’t that weird?!”
“Weird how? I’m a persimmon tree spirit; what’s wrong with me producing kaki-no-tanes?”

Like I said!!!

…Forget it.
This isn’t the first time a tree spirit has been weird. There will probably be many more baffling things like this in the future, so I can’t afford to react to them every single time.
I guess I just have to accept this.

Fortunately, kaki-no-tane (the snack) is delicious, so I brought them home with me.
Thinking about it now, our snacks lean more on the sweet side, such as cakes, ice cream, and chocolate. Having a salty snack this time around would be great.

I take a piece and eat it.
Mm, it’s delicious.
A single piece is packed with the soy sauce’s tingling briny taste.

Does its spiciness come from the chili peppers mixed in?
If so, it’s even more delicious.

“Eating it like this makes me want a cup of tea!”

Wait, no.
It has to be beer.

Oh, crap!

I was just going to taste it, but now I want a beer too!
It’s only the middle of the day, so if I start smelling like booze, Platy won’t let me carry Junior at all!!!

“What’s up? You eating something?”

As I writhe, someone else lured by the presence of food appears.
It’s Letasreit.

I’m surprised it’s not Platy or Veil.

“Someone gave it to me. Wanna try?”
“Thankies! Oh, this tastes nice!”

Letasreit, a princess from the former Human Kingdom, lives with us on our farm.
She used to act like pampered royalty during her first few days, but now she’s matured into a hardworking and open person.

“This taste is definitely soy sauce! The crunchiness is pretty addicting too!”
“Oh, you know your stuff.”
“I think I know how to make it taste even better!”
“Hm?”

Then, without permission, she adds something to the kaki-no-tane and mixes them together.
They’re white and are as small as the rice crisps.

Peanuts?!

Does this lady carry peanuts (boiled in salt) with her everywhere she goes?!

“Oh! I knew it! The rice crisps and peanuts’ unique textures take turns in your mouth! Way to go, me! I’m such a genius for coming up with such a combo! Let’s call this combination of kaki-no-tane and peanuts… kakipi!”

She may as well be a genius. She managed to come up with the idea of kakipi all by herself.

But!

“What are you doing?”
“Huh?”

Anger welled in my heart.
Mixing peanuts in kaki-no-tane is as foolish as pouring honey on a sophisticated dish!

“Kaki-no-tane is delicious when you eat it as it is. Mixing peanuts in it is blasphemy!”
“Huh?! What are you talking about? This is the harmony of a multitude of flavors! If you eat only kaki-no-tane, your tongue will go numb from the spiciness!”
“Then just drink water! Even tea or alcohol is fine. That way, you can reset the spicy taste! Adding peanuts doesn’t have to be a necessity!”
“But if you drink water, the kaki-no-tane inside your body will absorb the water and swell up! You’ll get full! The peanuts are to keep you from feeling full right away!”
“It counterbalances things if you consider the stomach resource wasted into peanuts. Peanuts make your mouth dry, so you still have to drink water in the end!”
“That’s too much water!!!”

Hell has broken loose.
Yes, this is the untiring battle that is often waged throughout history.

The war of “whether to add peanuts in kaki-no-tane.”

Some say peanuts are unnecessary, while others say the combination of kaki-no-tane and peanuts is indispensable.

Both sides’ arguments will never overlap, so the fight only continues.

Letasreit and I have plunged into a hundred-year war!

“…What kind of dumb fight are you having?”

After an hour of clashing with each other, two outsiders noticed and gave us flabbergasted stares.
It’s Horkosfon and Platy with Junior in her arms.

Platy is the first to rush to the scene whenever there’s new food, while Horkosfon, who is often seen with Letasreit, probably came here looking for her.

Usually, Veil should also be here any minute now, but…

“She ate up the new snack and left while you two were busy having your stupid fight.”
“Oof, you’re right! It’s empty!”

The snack Perciemon gave me and the peanuts have disappeared.
I’ll need to ask Perciemon for another batch or make them myself!

“What’s the point of arguing about what to put or not to put in something to make it taste good?”

Platy has a point.
Normally I would accept her harmless opinion, but I won’t give in when it comes to kaki-no-tane!

“I won’t back down either! If you invalidate peanuts, you also invalidate my entire existence!”
“When did you become such a peanut fanatic?” asks Platy, dumbfounded.

“Allow me to explain,” says Horkosfon, Letasreit’s close friend, while raising her hand. “She’s very much obsessed with anything legumes, and peanuts are also part of her expertise.”

Is that also why she has boiled peanuts with her anywhere at any time?

“As a lady who has devoted her life to producing beans, she might as well take this opportunity to change her name to Legumereit.”
“So, her name did come from the vegetable, lettuce, after all?”
“I’m also greatly indebted to her for helping me grow the ideal soybeans for making natto.”

I see.
She finds it unpardonable for someone passionate about legumes when someone rejects peanuts.
I can respect and sympathize with her mindset of worshipping them.

“But I can’t give up the idea of mixing them in kaki-no-tane!”
“I’ll definitely want to mix peanuts in kaki-no-tane!”

This battle will not cease until one of us is defeated and dead!

“…This is really stupid, and I need them to tone it down.”
“Please leave it to me.”

Hm?
What’s the matter, Horkosfon?
What are you planning to do?

“…Since ancient times, the best way to bring two parties together is to bring in a third.”

Don’t tell me you’re entering this kakipi-war as a third force, Horkosfon?!

“I’m declaring my participation as a party that mixes natto in kaki-no-tane!”
“SHE’S AT IT AGAIN!!!”

Stop trying to mix natto with everything!
Horkosfon’s outrageous advance immediately forced Letasreit and me to surrender.

A unanimous truce was established.

What’s scary about natto is that it has the potential to be delicious in anything.
And I feel like kakipi natto might just be acceptable!!!