C285: MUSHROOM-BAMBOO SHOOT WAR

We headed to the mountain dungeon.
Matan-GO, the giant mushroom, has an enemy to face.
I’m just tagging along out of mere curiosity.

Matan-GO, despite being a gigantic mushroom, was able to grow legs and can walk.

“We’re here.”

A small but thick bamboo grove in the mountain dungeon’s Spring Area.
Here, we get our bamboo to process into various tools, as well as delicious bamboo shoots.
The fact that we’re here means…

“Come out! Takenokkon!” shouts Matan-GO. “This mushroom has come to fight you! Show yourself!”

Then, in response to his (?) call, something started rumbling from the ground, ripping through the soil and scattered leaves. What came out of it was…
Without a doubt, a bamboo shoot!

I secretly think to myself, “We can’t eat that anymore now that it has grown above the ground.”

“You’ve got guts to personally come and get defeated by me!” says the bamboo shoot.

I’m not surprised this time around, as I’ve had a previous encounter with a talking mushroom.
The bamboo shoot is as huge as Matan-GO but ten times larger than a normal bamboo shoot.
People may think I might as well call it a normal bamboo, but with its pointed tip and skin wrapped around it, it’s really just a giant bamboo shoot.
Seeing as it’s still a “baby” bamboo, it makes me think of a child in an adult’s body.

“Waa, waa!”

Did it read my thoughts and start making a blatant impersonation of a baby?!

“So? What are you here for this time?”

And it immediately switched attitudes!

Matan-GO responds bravely.

“Oh, of course you know that. We must settle our long-standing feud as mushroom and bamboo shoot!”
“How ridiculous! If it’s settling scores you’re talking about, that’s long over! We bamboo shoots are superior to you mushrooms!!!”

…
Um…
What are you two talking about?

I know I just tagged along, but I still don’t understand what’s going on.

“We’ve been fighting from time immemorial,” says Matan-GO, the giant mushroom.
“To determine who will stand at the summit!”
“I’m the guardian of this mountain, though?” says Veil, who also tagged along just for the heck of it.

She must be bored.
Well, she is the guardian of this mountain dungeon, but…

“Gahahaha! You’re a fool, Matan-GO! It is illogical for a mushroom to defeat a bamboo shoot! I am the leader of this mountain!”
“No bamboo shoot is better than a mushroom! I will destroy you today and gain control over this mountain!”
“Like I said, I’m the guardian of this mountain dungeon…”

Neither of them is even listening to Veil.

“Master, can I burn them all at once?”
“Let’s keep watching what happens.”

Besides, isn’t it your fault that the local monsters have started some kind of battle royale because you’ve been staying too long at the farm, neglecting your dungeon’s management?

The mushroom monster, Matan-GO, and the Bamboo Shoot Fiend, Takenokkon.
Is this really… the fight for the summit?!

The giant bamboo shoot laughs boldly.

“Foolish mushroom. It’s already been established that we bamboo shoots reign superior. Isn’t that right, Lord Saint?”

Huh? Me?

“Lord Saint often comes to our grove to dig us bamboo shoots. This is proof that he honors us!”

Oh.
It’s true that I often come here to get bamboo shoots.

The farm residents love bamboo shoot rice and bamboo shoot tempura, after all.
I’d like to try making menma* soon.

“Lord Saint, the almighty ruler of this mountain, has deemed us bamboo shoots as the rightful top crop! You mushrooms are below that!”

I look at Matan-Go.

“Don’t tell me this is the reason you desperately wanted my recognition?!”
“Yes, that’s right. So I can compete with Takenokkon. To be a mountain crop deemed ‘delicious’ by the almighty Lord Saint is like no other!”

The mushrooms have been neglected as a food source for a long time and have been at a disadvantage in the battle against bamboo shoots.

“But today, Lord Saint has finally acknowledged that we mushrooms are delicious! Now is our time to deal the crushing blow on the conceited bamboo shoots!” agitatedly says the mushroom.

I don’t want him to go on a rampage because his spores might scatter.

“As for me, you’re both delicious, so can’t you two get along?” I say.
“NO!!!”

This is the only time they’re on the same wavelength.

“We must have this showdown. Mushrooms and bamboo shoots can’t look at the same sky!”

Nuh-uh. No such thing.

“Just because you’ve been approved by Lord Saint doesn’t mean that you mushrooms are now equal to us bamboo shoots.”
“Say what?!”
“Don’t you know?! It’s not only Lord Saint who approves of our delectability, but also the gods!”
“Gods too?!”
“Yeah! And as long as this gap exists, you mushrooms will never exceed us bamboo shoots!!!”

Well, I guess something like that did happen.
I served bamboo shoot rice to Hades, and he deemed it as the food of the gods before.

All right.
I decided to go back to the farm.

Ingredients needed: various mushrooms, rice, various seasonings, broth.
Then, I called Sensei the Lifeless King.

I put all the ingredients into the pot and cooked them.
After cooking…

“Sensei, please.”
“You got it.”

I asked Sensei to summon Hades, the god of the underworld.

“Oh? What doth thee want this time?”
“Mushroom rice, Your Mightiness,” I say as I offer him the mushroom rice.

“…I now declare mushrump rice to be the food of the gods.”
“Whaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaat?!” screams Takenokkon.

Now, mushrooms and bamboo shoots are equals.

They should get along better now.