A Snail's Wisdom

Kondo's pupils crossed upwards looking angrily at the small man who was using his face as a platform.

First, his Sixth Brother had vines restrain him, and flowers weave into his mutton chop, and now his Fourth Brother was using a mosquito as an excuse to kick his face.

Did he forget where they were? What kind of mosquito dug multiple kilometers underground?!

His grip on his weapon tightened.

"Get your dirty feet away from me!"

He swung with one hand while aiming to grab the little man's leg with his other hand, but he was too late. Ariyoshi Miji lifted his right foot up again, causing Kondo to curse himself for being too slow.

SMACK!

This time, they both disappeared.

Ariyoshi Miji reappeared near his starting point as if he had never left it, but Elder Kondo was sent flying directly towards Gao Diao who was now cursing at the dwarf of a man, "Smelly goat!"

Because he was hurtling towards his other opponent, Kondo capitalized on the opportunity and swung his sledgehammer overhead onto Gao Diao, like a nail on a plank.

SLAM!!!

The grass failed to cushion the blow as the ground shook the spectators, and cracks split from the impact area. A crater had formed where Sixth Elder Gao Diao stood, but only Kondo stood there now, picking up his sledgehammer and cautiously inspecting underneath it.

Gao Diao disappeared under the weight of the blow, and since there were no bones or blood, he had clearly escaped unscathed.

"Is he okay?" Kenja asked with concern, turning to the Second Elder and Shimizu Mizutani.

Those two had picked up their tea cups before the earthshaking blow occurred to avoid spilling, but Kenja was unprepared for the blow, so his teacup had toppled over on its plate. Kenja noticed that there was no spill as the tea had already disappeared from the cup…

"Ho ho, no need to worry about Sixth Brother. He always has something up his sleeve."

Shimizu Mizutani nodded in agreement before tilting her nose upwards with pride.

Ariyoshi Miji who was feeling smug that his plan had succeeded looked down at his feet in irritation.

Vines sprouted out from the ground, attempting to coil around his legs.

He jumped away from the vines, but a new set of vines sprouted when his feet touched the ground, forcing him to jump to a new location each time.

Kondo stood there watching the show between them, not rushing to join in.

After a dozen jumps, two hands sprouted from the ground beneath Ariyoshi Miji's feet as he was landing.

"Dirty weasel!" Ariyoshi Miji cursed him.

Because he was still in midair, evading the hands in time would be difficult for him but not impossible, yet he did not try to dodge.

Instead, he grabbed onto his waist belt and let Gao Diao's hands catch him by the ankles.

SCHWOOP!

CRACKLE-CRACKLE-CRACKLE!!!

Ariyoshi Miji slipped into the ground with only his head jutting out. Petals of ice engulfed him, locking his body below ground.

Forming a picturesque sight, his head appeared to be the center of a crystallized ice flower amongst a field of green.

Only capable of turning his head slightly, Ariyoshi Miji eyed Kondo warily as he began sauntering over while swinging his sledgehammer suggestively.

"Stay back, you hairy gorilla!"

"Don't blame me, Fourth Brother. It would be rude to refuse Sixth Brother's gift."

"Shameless!" He showed his disgust by spitting on the ice petal in front of his face. "You two giants have no shame ganging up on a small, old man."

Kenja could not help but feel his intel on the Fourth Elder was spot-on. He really did mention his diminutive stature when it benefited him.

Kondo faltered at Ariyoshi Miji's words for a moment, but he continued approaching him.

"The kids are watching, Fourth Brother. You shouldn't slander wantonly. You know better than anyone here why we do this."

The Fourth Elder kept scanning left and right, in the air and below ground, but he saw no trace of Gao Diao.

"Now, hold still Sixth Brother. This won't hurt too much."

Kondo had adopted a wide stance with both arms holding the sledgehammer behind him in preparation for an overhead swing onto the Miji-flower resting in front of him.

Ariyoshi Miji did not bother looking at him, repeatedly rotating his head and neck until he became a blur in a hole.

Kondo realized what he was doing and swung to finish him off before he succeeded.

CRASH!

Before the swing had traveled half the distance to the target, Ariyoshi Miji shattered the ice and shout out of the ground, hurtling towards Kondo's legs.

Kondo cursed his slowness, releasing one hand from his sledgehammer to hold his waist belt before jumping upwards to avoid Ariyoshi Miji, but he was only half-successful.

Ariyoshi Miji flew in between Kondo's legs, only managing to tear off one pant leg before continuing his course towards his true target, Gao Diao, who had quietly slipped out from the ground behind Kondo as soon as he began his swing.

With countless vines wrapped around his arms to form two large fists, Gao Diao was poised to finish off Kondo once he knocked out the smelly goat. He did not expect that Ariyoshi Miji would not only resolve both his ice cage and Kondo's attack but also unleash a counterattack on him all in a single breath.

He combined the vines together as a shield to fend off Ariyoshi Miji's dash.

Their clash resulted in Ariyoshi Miji appearing suddenly from different angles and releasing attacks unto the vines that protected Gao Diao while he could only use his vines as a deterrence and shield. Periodically, Ariyoshi Miji and Gao Diao would clasp their waist belt defensively.

Under heavy pressure, Gao Diao requested help from Kondo, "Third Brother, what are you doing? I could use a little help." He glanced at Third Elder Kondo only to find him on the floor in a fetal position, holding onto something between his legs.

Gao Diao's expression darkened when he realized what had occurred. Whether intentionally or unintentionally, Ariyoshi Miji must have grazed Kondo in every man's most fragile spot.

"Hah! No one can save you, you dirty weasel. Now hold still, and I'll make this fast," Ariyoshi Miji celebrated his good luck by seizing this chance to end Gao Diao before Kondo could recuperate.

"Hmph," Gao Diao snorted before popping several pills into his mouth, "We'll see who needs the saving."

The number of vines multiplied as it formed a thick shield around Gao Diao, increasing his defensive and offensive power. Many of the vines formed a protective layer around Gao Diao's legs.

Ariyoshi Miji did not back down as he turned into a blur that continuously battered the shield from all directions.

Although Ariyoshi Miji would ignore the vines that attacked his upper body, causing many rips and tears to appear on his shirt, his pant legs were perfectly untouched.

Kenja had seen each of them hold onto their belts and prioritize defending their lower bodies several times now, even if it placed them in a precarious position. Kenja was uncertain himself on whether he was making a hasty observation.

"These guys keep holding onto their pants. Did fighting amongst humans change in the past five hundred years, disciple?" Snail asked earnestly.

If Snail thought so as well, then Kenja would not hold back his curiosity any longer. He asked those seated near him, "Why do the elders focus on attacking and defending their…lower bodies…?"

The faces of Shimizu Mizutani and Aracha turned black as they did not meet Kenja's gaze.

He began to wonder whether he touched a taboo topic until Second Elder Inazuma let out a joyful laugh, "Ho ho ho! That's right! Little Hikaru is new to the sect, so you don't know about the Founder's Rules. It's one of the best things within our Flowing River Sect."

Kenja had heard the vice elder presiding over the match announce that it would be judged based on the Founder's Rules, but he did not think much of it at that time. A sparring match was only spar after all, so how strange could the rules be?

"It's against the sect rules to kill another sect disciple, and this holds true even amongst us elders. But a simple sparring match cannot simulate the seriousness and severity of a life and death battle, so the founder came up with a great solution: if you lose your pants, you lose the match."

"Ho ho ho, Sect Founder is truly wise. One of the few things every man might care for more than his life is his dignity. Such a rule would compel each side to bring out their full potential while greatly shortening the length of the match. Truly wise, ho ho ho."

Kenja could not believe such a silly rule existed and came from the sect founder himself, but the disappointed frowns on Shimizu Mizutani and Aracha seemed to confirm the truth of Elder Inazuma's story.

This rule was harsh on men, but even more harsh on the women.

While it would be difficult, a man could still show his face even when stripped n.a.k.e.d in public, but the same could not be said about a woman, who would rather choose to die a dozen times than sully their chastity in front of so many eyes. Thus, the female disciples obviously did not share Elder Inazuma's high opinion on the barbaric rule.

"What a great idea! This small sect founder knew how to innovate. I'd love to fight under such a constraint," Snail sincerely complimented the strange rule.

Of course, you would! How would you lose when you don't wear any pants in the first place?